via Canva/Photos
A couple talking over coffee.
Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.
However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as in forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.
A man and woman chatting.via Canva/Photos
How to get better at small talk
The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement: It reminds me of…”
A redditor named IsaihLikesToConnect shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun.
Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"
You:
Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."
Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."
Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."
Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”
Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”
Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos
You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.
Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos
What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?
Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.
Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.
This article originally appeared in April.
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via Canva/Photos
A crying baby.
The names we give to our children can be very personal. They can reflect religious beliefs, family heritage, or have a special meaning attached to them, as in Grace, which means "divine favor," or Eli, which means "ascended." In the United States, people they are protected by the Constitution's First Amendment, freedom of speech, which allows us to name our babies whatever we like.
However, there have been some cases where the courts decided that a particular name is illegal, and, although it is infrequent, it has happened at least 10 times in the country. The most notable banned names are Misteri N-Word, King, Queen, Jesus Christ, III, Santa Claus, Majesty, Adolf Hitler, @, and 1069.
A court reporter taking notes.via Canva/Photos
Why are these 10 names banned in the United States?
III (Roman numerals pronounced “three”)
Thomas Boyd Ritchie III was known by many of his friends simply as III. So, he petitioned the court to have his name changed to Roman numerals. Sadly, a California court rejected the name change because it was a symbol and a number. It’s illegal for people to have numbers in their names because they can’t be entered into state name databases.
Misteri (N-word)
In the California Superior Court case Lee v. Superior Court (1992), Russell Lawrence Lee wanted to change his name to Misteri (N-word). Lee believed that the name could be used to conquer racial hatred. Unfortunately for Lee, the court denied his request, saying the name constituted “fighting words.”
@ (pronounced “at”)
The address symbol, or @, has been banned in multiple jurisdictions because, like a numeral, it cannot be input into state database records.
Jesus Christ
The name of the Christian lord and savior has been banned in several U.S. states based on claims of blasphemy and the possibility of confusion.
Depiction of Jesus Christ in Heaven.via Canva/Photos
1069
In 1976, the North Dakota Supreme Court told high school teacher Michael Herbert Dengler that he could not change his name to “1069.” “The only way [my] identity can be expressed is 1069. The first character, 1, stands for my concept of nature which manifests itself as one individual among the various forms of life,” he noted. “I stand as a single entity amongst millions of other entities, animate and inanimate. But yet even though I am an entity unto myself, I am part of the whole of life which is one. I am one; life is one; and together we are one.”
He later moved to Minnesota and tried to change his name, but he was rejected again. Neither state allowed people to have numbers as their names.
Santa Claus
In December 1999, Robert William Handley of Ohio filed a petition to change his name to Santa Rob Claus, because he had played the Christmas character for the past 40 years, and was known as “Santa Rob” year-round. The court rejected his petition, saying it was “misleading to the children of the community.” Two years later, the Supreme Court of Utah allowed the name change.
A photo of Santa Claus.via Canva/Photos
Majesty, King, Queen
In several states, naming your child after a royal title is illegal to avoid confusion with actual royalty. Does Queen Latifah know this?
Adolf Hitler
If you want to name your child Adolf Hitler, you can’t do it in Texas. After the atrocities he committed in the 1930s and ‘40s, his name has no place in the Lone Star State. However, you can be named Adolf Hitler in New Jersey. Back in 2009, there was a big hubbub when the father of Adolf Hitler Campbell wanted his child’s name written on a birthday cake, and the proprietor of the business refused.
This article originally appeared in May.
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A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.
There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?
Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.
A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.
The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on Giphy
At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.
"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"
He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."
"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"
"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."
"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."
These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:
@gettothepointbro DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .
The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.
"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."
"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."
"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"
"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."
"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."
Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.
@gettothepointbro CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️
The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.
According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.
This article originally appeared in April.
Lake Tahoe was almost a national park, but politics got in the way.
You know the adage, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” Well, something similar happens out in the wild: not every natural wonder gets to become a national park. For every Yellowstone or Yosemite national park, there are dozens of equally jaw-dropping American landscapes that were denied this coveted designation—and the unparalleled federal protection that comes with it.
From Lake Tahoe’s radiant blue waters to the fossil-rich canyons of Dinosaur National Monument, there are dozens of breathtaking natural beauties across the country that are just that: natural beauties with thriving ecosystems, but not national parks. Behind each rejection, there’s always a fascinating story of politics, competing financial interests, and a constantly changing definition of what “deserves” national protection waiting in the wings.
Many people—including Lake Tahoe’s biggest advocate, conservationist John Muir—fought for Lake Tahoe to become a national park.Photo credit: Canva
Often called “the Jewel of the Sierra,” or “Ocean in the sky,” Lake Tahoe is a marvel. Visitors of the 2-million-year-old lake enjoy pristine snow-capped peaks, gorgeous pine trees, and the prettiest, clearest water imaginable. Mark Twain even wrote of Lake Tahoe, “I thought it must surely be the fairest picture the whole earth affords.” Naturally, many people—including Lake Tahoe’s biggest advocate, conservationist John Muir—fought for Lake Tahoe to become a national park, and multiple attempts were made from the 1880s and 1930s.
The problem? Virginia City, Nevada in 1859.
Eighteen hundred and fifty-nine was the year silver was discovered there, and as local historian David Antonucci explains, “If the silver discovery in Virginia City hadn’t happened, the course of history in Lake Tahoe would have been a lot different. It almost certainly would have been a national park."
If not for that darn silver....Photo credit: Canva
The resulting mining rush altered Lake Tahoe’s landscape forever, most significantly impacting the tall, ancient trees that dotted the Tahoe Basin, which were systematically chopped down to build mine shafts. Twenty years later, it was estimated that more than 33 million board feet of timber were being cut down annually. To put that into perspective, that’s the equivalent of 2,749,999 cubic feet: the amount of wood required to fill 1,150 shipping containers or 88,000 Olympic-sized pools.
Due to this massive degradation of Lake Tahoe’s precious resources, the National Park Service later concluded that the extensive tourism and land development had compromised the lake’s nature beyond repair, ruling it unsuitable for national park designation.
Sadly, Lake Tahoe's proposals were overruled. Giphy
Why do places seek national park status in the first place? Lake Tahoe has no ego; the land itself does not seek fame, fortune, or glory. But there are several incentives both for the land and the surround communities that make the fight for national park status worth it. National parks enjoy certain VIP privileges, including an army of park rangers and maintenance crews provided by the federal government.
National parks, like the scenic Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Grand Canyon National Park, and Zion National Park, are protected to the highest degree possible against resource extraction, land development and other harmful practices. The are nothing short of astounding: miraculous havens for animals and native plants, flourishing wildlife habitats, and the preservation of vital cultural resources.
Then, there’s the tourism aspect: another powerful motivation for communities to support national park designation is the incredible bump in sightseers—paying visitors—that begin to arrive. National parks are tourist magnets, with Great Smoky Mountain National Park welcoming more than 12 million visitors in 2020. It’s the type of tourism that can turn a rural town into a bucket list destination and economically alter a community forever. Think of the last national park you visited and the crop of tourism-related businesses that surrounded it: lodging, restaurants, themed retail stores, guided tours, and more.
National parks are the ultimate tourism magnets. Photo credit: Canva
Entire economies depend on a local national park. via TravelinUSA
Sadly, Dinosaur National Monument is another destination that never enjoyed national park status and the plethora of perks that come with it. Nestled in the rugged borderlands straddling Colorado and Utah, this huge national treasure spans over 210,000 acres—that’s larger than Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park combined. The natural wonder features an unparalleled 800 paleontology sites and the Carnegie Quarry, which boasts a 150-million-year-old wall full of roughly 1,500 exposed fossilized dinosaur bones.
Dinosaur National Monument also offers astonishing views of the nighttime sky, deeming it an International Dark Sky Park (IDSP) in honor of its exceptional nocturnal environment and supreme views of the cosmos. Obviously, this archaeological beauty would be a shoo-in for national park status, right?
Dinosaur National Monument looks like a national park, but is it?Photo credit: Canva
Unfortunately, meddling outside forces struck again: after multiple attempts, Dinosaur National Monument has not been formally rejected as a national park, but it's progress has been stalled for a long time due to local opposition. Commissioners and stakeholders in the area feared that a national park designation would jeopardize their various ranching and energy investments and blocked any attempts to elevate Dinosaur National Monument to national park status.
Becoming a national park is no walk in the park. Rules are scrupulous, community support is vital, and the power of public perception matters. In many ways, that’s a good thing: the National Park Service’s uncompromising criterion ensures precious American tax-payer money is reserved for only the most exemplary resources in the country, both natural and cultural, in a world that, increasingly, seeks to destroy them. But what of Lake Tahoe, Dinosaur National Park, Silver Falls in Oregon, or the Adirondack Mountains?
For reasons that have nothing to do with their importance, significance, or natural beauty, these landscapes lack national park designation and the protections that come with it. But that doesn’t mean they’re not worth visiting. So, the next time you’re planning a nature trip, consider adding these beauties to your list. You just might be pleasantly surprised.
This article originally appeared in May.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.