The idea that more people commit suicide around the holidays is a myth.
But it's still a rough time for those with mental illness.
"Tonight, I was ready to take my life."
Thus began a letter from one fan who wrote to video blogger Chris Thompson. That letter continued to tell his story, which really captures the desperation he has felt at times — to a point of attempting suicide. He's 22, gay, living in Sacramento, had depression and bipolar disorder, suffered from addiction, and recently had treatment.
But the letter writer wasn't concerned with himself. He wanted to make sure, with the holidays upon us, that the issues of mental illness and suicide get attention so that sufferers can get help. More about that in a bit.
GIF via Chris Thompson/SupDaily/YouTube.
Each year, around 40,000 people take their own lives.
It's the 10th leading cause of death for all Americans.
But the idea that more people commit suicide around the holidays? It's a myth.
Yep.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that suicide is actually at the lowest rate in December. Spring and fall both see an increase, however.
This myth (possibly a result of the well-known "It's a Wonderful Life" plotline) can make it worse for those suffering from depression; it can actually make people think about suicide more and dwell on the negatives in their lives during the holidays.
Image by Andrew Mason/Wikimedia Commons.
That said, our friends and family who have mental issues still need and deserve our support this holiday season.
Some symptoms of depression worsening include:
- A decrease in self care
- Feeling like they have no energy and are slowed down
- Withdrawal from usual connections with family and friends or activities the individual usually likes
- Increased irritability
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions
- Increased use of alcohol or other substances
- Worsening sleep
It's especially acute for LBGTQ folks. According to The Trevor Project, a suicide prevention organization, LGBTQ young people are four times more likely to attempt suicide, and questioning teens are three times more likely, compared with straight peers.
Here's how you can be alert when your friend or loved one might need intervention.
If they're doing any of these, take note:
- Talking or writing about life not being worth living
- Coming up with or describing a plan to inflict self-harm or to harm others
- Trying to find the means to actually do it
For anybody thinking about suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is at (800) 273-TALK (8255). It's available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
People with mental health issues could use our support any time of year, but we tend to remember those people much more around the holiday season.
Maybe it's time to reach out to someone you know who recently lost a loved one or has bouts of depression or just could use a friend or family member's loving voice.
I think you'll be glad you did.
Here's the video from Chris Thompson. In some ways it's hard to hear, but it's a good reminder that if you're feeling this way, help is out there.
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.