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Teachers are sharing their students' wildest excuses that actually turned out to be true

Here are 17 of the best responses.

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via Pexels

Teachers share the best excuses.

Kindergarten through 12th grade teachers and college professors have heard every excuse in the book. Whether it’s a third grader claiming their “dog ate my homework” or a college freshman claiming their grandmother died to get out of a test, they’ve heard it all a billion times.

A college professor once listed the top 21 excuses he’s heard from his students. Here are the top five:

5. “It’s the last week of the semester.”

4. “It’s St. Patrick’s Day or 4/20”

3. “Our other teacher held us back.”

2. “My timetable showed the class was canceled.”

1. “I’m taking a vacation.”

Yes, some students actually say they didn’t do their work because of a holiday predicated on drinking or getting stoned and others have the audacity to say, “Hey! I needed a vacation.” After spending week after week fielding excuses, there’s a good reason why most educators are skeptical when they hear one from their students.

But every once in a while, an excuse that seems way too improbable to be believed actually is true.

Reddit user u/minecraftplayer48 asked the teachers of Reddit to share the “best excuse for being late that turned out to be true” and the stories were all pretty great. But it wasn’t only teachers who chimed in; a lot of people shared stories from when they were students and had an excuse that was so crazy they didn’t think anyone would believe them.

Here are 17 of the best excuses for being late that were actually true.

1. Revenge of the torque wrench


"My auto teacher let me practice removing and adding the tires on his vehicle. The next morning it was about 20 minutes into first period and no sign of him. He comes running into the classroom out of breath and his hair is all messed up. He points at me and says 'YOU!!!! What is a torque wrench used for???' I respond with "I don't know." He says ' I know you don't know!!!" Turns out one of his tires came off while driving down the highway." — ethnicjello

2. Mom wanted to sleep in


"She had to take her sister to school and drive her mom to rehab. She was always late to class because her mom just wanted to sleep in. Problem was if the mom was late or did not go she would have violated her probation and gone to prison. I never marked her late. If she missed anything important she could come in at lunch or after school to make it up." — RM156

3. "That was you?"


"Student here, I headed into school early to get some studying done in the library before my night class. I was one exit away when I was caught in a 3 car accident. Most of the expressway afterwards was gridlock with only one lane left open. I did eventually make it into my lab class 15 minutes late, with a few scrapes and bruises. My professors reaction was simply 'Oh that was you!''" — AlienCowAbduction

4. "School bus blew up"


"I was one of about 20 kids who were late to school. We showed up at the school office as a group and when questioned why we were late, we said 'The school bus blew up.' They questioned 'So the engine blew up?' The kids 'No, the whole bus, in flames. It blew up.'

"There was much conference between the teachers, all of them thinking we embellished the story. Next thing you know, one of the admin staff has the news website open, very obvious image of an entire bus on fire with a bunch of kids in our school uniform standing in front of it. Our late slip for class read 'School bus blew up.'" — AusPB90

5. B.U.I.


"Told me he got pulled over by the cops for wobbly driving on his bike and they thought he was drunk. Turned out he was just dodging all the slugs on the street." — Fortisvol

6. Chicken of death


"A guy in my college class missed class one day. The next day he came in with his eye covered up and medical paperwork in hand. Apparently he got pecked in the eye by a chicken." — BrrToe

7. Chicken 2: The chickening


"When I was student teaching, I was late because there was bunch chickens in the middle of the road. They wouldn't move at all. This is in the middle of a city of 200,000 people. Freaking chickens.

"I finally get to school and profusely apologize to my mentor teacher and I told her why I was late thinking it sounded ridiculous. She said, 'yeah, those chickens are fucking assholes, they surrounded my car in the McDonalds parking lot last year. Don't worry about it." — Makenshine

8. Cracker Barrel conference


"Taught a group of seniors first period. It was towards the end of the year. I had a class of around 30 and only 5 were there when the bell rang. Halfway through class, the rest of them show up. They went out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and brought me some back. All was forgiven." — SwansonsLoveChild

9. Beary late


"Bear on the backyard. No access gate. Animal control had to tranq it from the room and drag it through the house. Made the news. Got to retake the test I missed after sending her the news article." — Vladtehwood

10. Present the flat


"We had an exam in my class and the teacher got a message from a student saying that he was going to be late because his car had a flat tire (the student was known to party), the teacher didn't think it could be true, so as a joke the teacher asked him to bring the tire back. He brought the flat tire back in the middle of the exam. Needless to say, the professor didn't expect that." — Sapang

11. Moo


"A kid missed my first-period class one morning but was in school later that day. When I asked him why he hadn't arrived in time for my course, he said his cow was birthing its calf that morning, so he'd picked being in the barn over English. Made sense to me. His essays weren't going to win any ribbons at the county fair, but his calf could." — Bobosbigsister

12. Abduction


"In high school a kid came late to history class. He was a joker so when someone asked him where he had been, he goes 'I was kidnapped.' Everyone laughed, until he goes 'no really.'

"Turns out 2 guys kidnapped him and tossed him into the back of the minivan he was using for his morning paper route. They drove him around while they robbed something. I can’t remember what happens after. I think they just drove the van somewhere and got away." — notinmybackyardcanad

13. Honesty is the best excuse


"Not a teacher, but a kid walked into my class one day and literally just said 'Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to be here.' He wasn't wrong I suppose." — Scally59

14. It actually was the dog


"A little off topic but in 8th grade, a friend of mine turned in their homework late because her dog literally ate her homework. She even brought a note from her parents." — JoeyJoey2004

15. Is this a real excuse? Or is it fantasy?


"'Sorry Bohemian Rhapsody came on just as I parked.' — My art teacher when he was about 5:55 minutes late." — Deeberber

16. "I took a shortcut"


"This happened to me as a pupil; a very quiet, unassuming kid in our class came in to German with about five minutes of the class left. We went to a Catholic school and the teachers were all quite strict and intimidating. Classes were usually silent, especially in junior school. When this boy came into class at the end of the lesson that day, the door flew inwards with such force that the teacher gave an audible gasp.

"It had been raining heavily outside, his hair was plastered to his forehead. His blazer was dripping and sodden. He had mud caked into his trousers up to his knees, and he was breathing heavily. The teacher exclaimed, ‘Brendan! What happened?’ We all stared up at him in shocked silence. This quiet, unassuming little boy let out a big sigh and just said, ‘I took a shortcut.’ And went straight to his seat.

"That line became iconic in our school for years afterward." — lestat85

17. Pug lovers can attest


"Kid was late to school and had to miss a very important football game. The reason? His fat pug fell asleep on his phone. The pug’s fat rolls muffled his alarm." — tip52


This story originally appeared on 02.24.22

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might think of getting groovy at a nursing home, a french bulldog having a total breakdown in the drive-thru, or maybe even a snack bar company promoting self care. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This DWTS dance trend 

If you’ve been watching TV or on the internet this week, you might have seen the viral dance move Dylan Efron and Daniella Karagach performed while on Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) last week. The one particular move, where Dylan holds Daniella as she does a mid-air horizontal walk, is going viral with over 8k videos using the sound. Some of my personal favorites include a mom and her baby, two girls or a girl and her cat, proving this dance trend is truly for anyone to try.

All In on Fiber

Speaking of trends, there’s one that really is about going “all in”, it’s called #fibermaxxing. After years of protein being the biggest nutrition trend, it looks like fiber might be taking over. For good reason too, while protein can cause issues with digestion, fiber can lead to better digestion, blood sugar management, weight control and reduced disease risk. Our friends at All In made a video explaining the #fibermaxxing trend. Each All In bar has 6 to 7 grams of fiber , plus they are delicious. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This child's long hair

This creator went all in… on pranking the audience. I don’t want to give away the contents of this video, but let’s just say it’s creative- and it made me quite literally laugh out loud. There are a lot of "momfluencers" out there who make content that uses their children, and as relatable and heartfelt as it is, sometimes a little satire break is worth appreciating.

Two entrepreneurs getting down to business


Lots of people dabble in entrepreneurship. These two went "all in" on helping others learn it. After four years of interviews with CEOs , research, edits, and a Penguin Random House book deal (yes, seriously), their book, Down to Business, has made its way into classrooms and libraries around the world. Now they are teaching other kids that age is not a barrier to entry in entrepreneurship; the earlier you start, the further you can go—and an entrepreneurial mindset will serve you no matter what you do in life.

Bridesmaids who went all in

Last on our list; two bridesmaids who committed to the bit. These ladies went “all in” in their remake of the legendary scene from the movie “Bridesmaids”. If you haven’t seen the original movie, starring Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, this might be your sign.

In the viral TikTok this bride, Caroline, had no idea what was coming when she put on her favorite movie while getting ready for her big day. The fact that she wanted to watch her favorite show before her bridesmaids surprised her, makes this going “all in” surprise all the better.

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. Six years later, here are the results.

Their engineering feats are pretty dam incredible.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change
Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change Beaver on riverbank. Canva Photos

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? Well, it just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

In all seriousness, beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

beaver, dam, dam building, nature, ecosystem Pbs Nature Swimming GIF by Nature on PBS Giphy

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to their being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being endangered, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But sine 2019, enough have stayed and built dams that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

- YouTube youtu.be

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving and Utah residents are overjoyed with the experiment's results.

According to an early 2025 column in The Salt Lake Tribune (i.e. six years after the beaver translocation began) the revitalization of the Price River has "helped save [our] Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper," wrote column authors Lenise Peterman and Jordan Nielson. "On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River Public Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael River, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In one area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

It's about dam time!

This article originally appeared in June.

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Family

Child psychologist begs parents to break these 6 common but harmful habits for their kids

Grandparents should give this a read, too.

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits
Photo credit: Canva

A kid with their head down in class.

From the time they're aware of the pregnancy, couples make strenuous efforts to plan their parenting. Right from the diet, morals, school and lifestyle choices, parents leave no stone unturned in opting for what's best. Some of these practices may be influenced by parents' beliefs, lifestyles, skills and so on. However, not all may be beneficial and recommended for children. Practices that may seem great initially can have unwanted long-term effects. Child psychologist Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge revealed 6 striking habits you want to keep out of your child's life, per Parade. She urges parents and grandparents to leave out these 6 factors and find alternatives that are more fruitful and efficient.

1. Using screentime to keep kids busy

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits A child on an iPad. Photo credit: Canva

It’s no secret that screens are a lifesaver when parents are exhausted, cooking dinner, or juggling work and childcare. But relying on them too often comes with downsides.

A 2023 Common Sense Media report found that children ages 0–8 now average over 2.5 hours of screen use per day, more than double what it was a decade ago. Research shows this can affect attention span, sleep, mood regulation, and social development.

“Children need a variety of play-based activities that foster growth in areas like visual-motor skills, physical exercise, and socialization,” Capanna-Hodge explains. And when screens become a default soother, it can also crowd out precious bonding moments.

Try instead:

✔ Create a 5-minute “connection ritual” at meals or bedtime (a story, a silly rhyme, a question of the day).
✔ Keep a small “quiet kit” nearby — crayons, fidget toys, or mini puzzles.

2. Forgetting that kids learn by watching us

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits A mom showing her child how to play the drum. Photo credit: Canva

Kids absorb far more from what we do than what we say. When adults argue harshly, shut down emotionally, or treat others disrespectfully, children internalize those patterns.A 2023 Child Development study found that children’s emotional regulation skills strongly reflect the emotional modeling they see at home.Capanna-Hodge stresses that when conflicts happen—and they will—how parents respond matters. “Demonstrating respectful conflict resolution sets a powerful example,” she notes.Why parents fall into this:Small homes mean no private space. Stress runs high. Many adults are still unlearning the conflict habits they grew up with.

Try instead:

✔ Narrate your emotions: “I’m frustrated, so I’m taking a breath.”

✔ If conflict starts escalating, say out loud: “Let’s pause and try again later.”

3. Letting negativity become a pattern

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits A mom scolding her son. Photo credit: Canva

When you combine the financial stress, sleep deprivation, and the expectations of “doing it all" that comes with modern day parenting, patience wears thin, fast. But frequent yelling or criticism can shape a child’s sense of safety and self-worth.“Regularly raising your voice creates an environment of fear, anxiety, and poor stress management,” Capanna-Hodge says.

Try instead:

✔ Use a whisper voice (kids actually tune in more).

✔ Step away for 10 seconds before responding.

✔ Offer specific praise: “You tried really hard on that.”

4. Using guilt to influence behavior

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits A mom guilt-tripping her daughter. Photo credit: Canva

Guilt-based language often comes from older generational patterns. Many grandparents grew up hearing, “After all I’ve done for you…” and simply repeat what they know. But today’s research is clear: guilt-based parenting can stick with children for life.Multiple studies link guilt-inducing messages to anxiety, people-pleasing, and low autonomy later on.Phrases like “Grandma will be so upset if you don’t…” don’t build responsibility. They build shame.

Try instead:

✔ Teach accountability: “How can we fix this together?”

✔ Validate feelings while redirecting behavior: “You’re upset AND we still need to clean this up.”

5. Inconsistency with rules and discipline

kids, raising kids, kid psychology, parenting, child psychologist, parenting tips ,formative years, bad habits A teacher establishing rules to her class. Photo credit: Canva

Many parents worry their kids don’t listen, but the issue is often inconsistency, not disobedience. Kids learn best from predictable boundaries.

“Inconsistent rules create confusion and insecurity,” Capanna-Hodge says. Research on children with ADHD shows that harsh or inconsistent parenting is linked with more behavior problems, while consistent routines predict better emotional and behavioral outcomes—especially for kids who struggle with attention or self-regulation.

Try instead:

✔ Post simple, predictable rules on the fridge.
✔ Use the same consequence each time for the same behavior.
✔ Build a short daily rhythm: snack → play → cleanup → bedtime.

6. Comparing kids to each other

Photo credit: Canva

Comparison often comes from anxiety. Parents worry their child is “behind” or not meeting milestones. But comparison undermines a child’s confidence and can spark resentment or pressure to overperform.“When grandparents openly compare grandchildren, it diminishes a child’s sense of self-worth,” Capanna-Hodge says. Each child needs space to grow on their own timeline.Try instead:

✔ Celebrate individuality: “You’re so curious!” You’re great at building!”

✔ Focus on progress, not peers.

Here’s the hopeful part: none of these negative habits define you as a parent. Every adult slips into patterns they wish they could change. What matters most is noticing, adjusting, and reconnecting. Small shifts, practiced over time, create lifelong impact. And every day is another chance to choose connection over perfection.

This article originally appeared 3 months ago.

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A female writer asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and got 19 hilarious answers

“I just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life."

what men like, what men love, aubrey hirsch
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What do these men love?

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, the larger the rock, the deeper the body of water and from the highest vantage point possible.

The other is watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What’s a universal thing that most men like?”

1.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit named justdaps had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

2.

3.

4.

I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself. I usually stand while watching TV when I want to really focus on what’s happening and do not want to be distracted. This usually happens while watching sporting events or the news. It's also a great way to use your body language to let other people know that there is something very important happening on the television.

5.

When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.

6.

As a man, this one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

Evidently, after reading the responses, Hirsch knew what was going to happen next. No need to feel ashamed about going viral. It just means you created something that people love.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

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Get a burst of energy at bedtime and then stay up all night doing chores? You're not alone.

Are you a Revenge Nighttime Procrastinator or a Nighttime Task Completer?

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via Canva/Photos

A woman vacuuming late at night.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, a new phrase emerged from China: “bàofùxìng áoyè,” which loosely translates to “retaliatory staying up late” or “revenge bedtime procrastination.” This is a way people gain a sense of control over their lives by staying up late watching TV, playing video games, or doomscrolling to make up for working 40-plus hours a week.

Revenge Bedtime Procrastinators may consciously or subconsciously start another episode of their favorite Netflix show or spend another hour playing Grand Theft Auto because it reassures them that they’re in charge of their own lives—not their boss, not their spouse, and not their children. It’s like “me” time but with an added dash of rebellion. “You can’t tell me to go to sleep.”

What is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?

“It’s describing when people don't have as much control over their daytime life and schedules, and they delay sleep and their normal bedtimes to have more freedom and free time,” Michelle Drerup, Psy.D., director of the behavioral sleep medicine program at the Cleveland Clinic Sleep Disorders Center, tells Good Housekeeping. “And, they do that fully aware that it’s going to have negative consequences.”'


Obviously, this can create a lot of trouble, whether it’s screwing up your natural sleep cycles or leaving you feeling depressed, anxious, hungry, and groggy the next day when it’s time for another eight hours of work.

Who are Nighttime Task Completers?

In addition to Revenge Bedtime Procrastinators, there’s another group: Nighttime Task Completers. They become overwhelmed with stress when they get ready for bedtime because of everything they didn’t get done during the day. They can be drowning in unfinished tasks because they neglected to do them during the day, didn’t have time, or have a spouse who doesn't do their share of the workload.

woman, chores, ironing, unpaid labor, housework, domestic labor A woman ironing clothes late at night.via Canva/Photos

This feeling of stress is accompanied by a fight-or-flight response, which triggers a jolt of alertness, creating a late-night second wind. To combat stress, they start doing chores when they should be sleeping, whether it's laundry, dishes, or paying bills. Instead of enjoying leisure time like the Revenge Bedtime Procrastinators, they use their nightly boost to get things done.

Just like the folks who stay up watching Netflix, Nighttime Task Completers also suffer sleep deprivation the next day, which can create a vicious cycle of stress-fueled late-night labor. They may stay up until 3 a.m. tackling chores, and the following day they’re too exhausted to get everything done. Then, once again, right before bed, they get a jolt of stress-induced energy and start working.

sleep, night, phone in bed, doomscroll, woman in bed, smartphone A woman doomscrolling at night.via Canva/Photos

For many, one symptom of our super-busy modern world is that the only way to squeeze some joy out of life, or stay ahead on chores during the workweek, is to sacrifice sleep. Sleep is a very personal topic, and many folks keep their habits to themselves. But if you’re someone who is having trouble catching a good night's sleep due to the demands of the modern world, you’re not alone. There are plenty of other night owls staying up way past their bedtime to feel a sense of control over their lives. The problem is that when the need for control creates an unhealthy sleep environment, it’s best to consult a mental health professional to bring your life back into balance.

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Researchers found 1 tiny change in raccoons that could bring them closer to being our pets

People, unsurprisingly, are very much on board with this.

raccoons, raccoons domesticating themselves, raccoons as pets, pets, exotic pets, animals, wildlife
Photo credit: Canva

Raccoon eating food from a person's hand, background blurred.

If you have ever watched a raccoon confidently tiptoe across a fence or dive into a trash bin like it owns the place and felt utter delight, you might be thrilled to learn that new research has found these little bandits are cooking up new ways to melt our hearts…including picking up physical traits we associate with pets.

Scientists say city raccoons may be showing early signs of domestication, an idea that first sparked Raffaela Lesch, a zoologist at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, when she tossed a can into a campus bin.

Instead of the usual metallic clank, she heard a muted thud. Then a raccoon head popped out—comfortably, fearlessly. Something a bit out of character for a “wild” animal.

“I wanted to know if living in a city environment would kickstart domestication processes in animals that are currently not domesticated,” Lesch said in a statement. “Would raccoons be on the pathway to domestication just by hanging out in close proximity to humans?”

Inspired, Lesch and her students examined almost 20,000 photos of raccoons uploaded to iNaturalist. Out of those, they focused on 249 perfect side-profile images and made a lovely discovery: urban raccoons’ snouts were shorter than those of rural raccoons.

What shorter snouts (and human garbage) have to do with domestication

raccoons, raccoons domesticating themselves, raccoons as pets, pets, exotic pets, animals, wildlife Urban raccoons have shorter snouts than rural ones, study shows. scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Shorter snouts are part of what scientists call “domestication syndrome,” a bundle of physical traits that tend to appear when a species becomes more comfortable living alongside humans. Floppy ears, white patches of fur, and generally calmer behavior all fall into this category.

For a species often nicknamed “trash panda,” it makes sense that their own personal domestication journey began with cozying up to our dumpsters, not their shortened snouts. This of course is not unique only to raccoons. It’s a strategy that wolves picked up a long time ago before they became dogs.

Trash, it seems, really is the “kickstarter” for domestication, as Lesch put it. “All [animals] have to do is endure our presence, not be aggressive, and then they can feast on anything we throw away.”

@cbctoronto Rafaela Lesch co-authoured a study that looked into the domestication of raccoons. They found raccoons' snouts are shrinking, which are a key indicator that domestication is underway. #Animals #Raccoons #Research #News #Toronto ♬ original sound - CBC Toronto

However, before you hop onto PetSmart looking for raccoon- specific chew toys, researchers emphasize that this pet-ification process would still be in its earliest stages, if it is happening at all. After all, raccoons are not pack animals like dogs or sheep. But they are adaptable, social, and remarkably clever…so no one is ruling it out entirely. Whether this leads to actual domestication is still unknown, but the early signs are intriguing.

People already want the raccoon adoption hotline number

Once the study hit social platforms, enthusiasm skyrocketed.

“All I heard is I'm gonna have a pet raccoon eventually,” one TikTok user wrote.

“I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE FOR THE RACCOON DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM,” said another.

And on Instagram, someone echoed, “Does anybody know when the raccoon distribution system goes live? I am very interested in this new pet.”

A future with floppy-eared trash pandas?

Evil Smile Evil GIFfrom Evil Smile GIFs

Lesch says the real excitement comes from observing what might be the beginning of a long evolutionary story. As she put it, “We get to explore this story while it is in its beginning stages.”

Of course, while we may long for the day when the phrase “good boy” applies not just to dogs but to the masked little neighbors raiding our bins at night, signs of their further domestication aren't entirely wholesome. For one thing, this behavior is a direct result of habitat loss, which isn't good. Furthermore, increased familiarity can put both animals and humans in harm's way. Overconfidence around people can also lead to higher chances of vehicle collisions or conflict if animals start expecting food near homes. Animals that adapt too closely to human environments can also disrupt local ecosystems by changing their feeding patterns or crowding out other species.

Point being: yes the possibility of living out one's Disney-coded fantasy of having a raccoon familiar is closer than ever. But in the end, the best thing we can do for them is protect the wildness that makes them so endlessly fascinating in the first place.

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