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Mom calls out teacher who gave her son a 'zero' grade for not providing class with supplies

Her viral video sparked a debate as to whether or not providing school supplies should be mandatory for parents.

@shanittanicole/TikTok

A zero grade for not providing school supplies?

The debate as to whether or not parents should supply classroom supplies is not new. But as prices continue to rise, parents are growing more baffled as to how they can be expected by teachers to provide all the various glue sticks, colored pencils, rulers and other various items the incoming students might need.

What’s even more perplexing, however, is penalizing the children of parents who won’t (or can’t) provide them.

This was the case for Shanitta Nicole, who discovered her son received a zero grade in his new school for not bringing school supplies for the entire classroom.

Nicole was especially surprised by this reaction since she had already gone through the effort of making sure her son had every supply he needed from the school’s list, which was slightly different than the one they previously had.

And yet, the 7th grade teacher informed her son that he was still expected to provide for the classroom, not just himself. And, thus, a zero grade, for failing the assignment, so to speak.

Even though Nicole thought the rule was “weird,” she went out and bought the bulk items, which included tissues, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, pencils, Expo markers, and red pens.

And yet, the next week—her son still has a zero. Concerned, Nicole emailed her son’s teacher.

“I’m like, ‘hey…my student has a 83 in the class and everything else in the class is 100s and 98s and he still has a zero for something called ‘classroom supplies.’” she said in a video.

“‘We bought the supplies anyways, but I don't feel like it's the parents' responsibility to supply your classroom. And I definitely don't think it's appropriate to assign a grade to students based off of whether or not they've supplied your class with supplies. That doesn't make any sense.’”

@shanittanicole Am I doing too much? #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

And while Nicole’s email did get the teacher to reconcile the grade, there was no mention to her other concern regarding the responsibility for parents to provide the entire class with supplies.

“So, I emailed the principal because I just, I might be extra, but I just want to see what's going on. Why do I have to buy supplies for the classroom?” the frustrated mom concluded.

Nicole’s video quickly went viral on TikTok, and several weighed in to agree that the teacher’s actions were misguided.

“That is so unfair!! Especially for the kids whose parents CANT afford groceries let alone classroom supplies,” one user wrote.

Another added, “You are not wrong. It is 100% ok for [the teacher] to ask for supplies, but mandate it for a grade? Absolutely not.”

And this point is truly what Nicole took umbrage with, as she noted several times in the comments. It has less to do with being asked to help and more to do with her son’s grade depending on it.

In a follow-up video, Nicole shared that the school principal did end up reaching out, notifying her that while, yes, teachers are allowed to ask for donations, it should never be mandated.

@shanittanicole Replying to @yafavv._.dancer😍😘💞😍😍💞 Graded Supplies Update #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

“What the teacher was trying to accomplish, but it definitely wasn't appropriate,” the principal told Nicole.

While the teacher might have not handled this situation in the best way, it goes without saying that this is a larger systemic issue—one that isn’t exactly fair to parents, teachers and students alike.

Most public school teachers spend a significant amount of their own money on classroom supplies, to an average of $673 per year, according to a recent survey of more than 1,100 educators by the Association of American Educators (AAE). That number only goes up for teachers in high poverty schools.

At the same time, according to a 2022 survey with Savings.com, the typical parent also spends nearly $600 on school supplies. Plus things like clothes, backpacks, haircuts etc.

In the grand scheme of things, there’s no use placing full responsibility or blame onto teachers or parents. Because either way, students get caught in the crossfire. This is clearly a universal burden that needs attention.

This article originally appeared on 10.5.23

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Family

Behavioral specialist demonstrates gentle parenting vs. permissive parenting

People often think "gentle parenting" means letting a child walk all over you, but it doesn't.

Images courtesy of Gabriel Hannans/TikTok (@the_indomitable_blackman)

Gabe Hannans explains what gentle parenting is and isn't.

One of the benefits of parenting in the 21st century is that we have decades of research on child psychology, behavior and development to draw best practices from. Unfortunately, all of that knowledge can also makes parenting more confusing than it already is.

It's not that the research is faulty, it's that people often don't take the time to actually understand what specific parenting philosophies actually entail. There's perhaps no more notorious example of that than misunderstandings about what "gentle parenting" means.

For many parents, "gentle parenting" sounds like a nice idea in theory but unrealistic in practice. Many imagine it means always using a calm and quiet voice, asking a child nicely to do things (or not do things) without setting any rules or boundaries around behavior. With that understanding, what ends up happening is a parent tries to "gentle parent" their child with scenarios that go something like this:

"Ellie, would you please put your shoes on?"

[Ellie ignores Mom and continues to play with her toys.]

"Ellie, it's time to get your shoes on. Can you stop playing with your toys, please?"

[Ellie shakes her head no while continuing to play.]

"Ellie, we have to go now. Mommy needs you to put your shoes on. Can you cooperate, please?"

[Ellie says, "No, I don't want to!"]

"Come on, Ellie. I know you don't want to, but please be cooperative."

Child playing with blocks. Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels

And so it continues, with Mom asking nicely and Ellie refusing until Mom finally loses her patience and yells, at which time Ellie complies. Conclusion: Gentle parenting doesn't work.

Except what Mom is doing in that scenario isn't gentle parenting. It's gentle, sure. But it's not parenting.

Behavioral specialist and teacher Gabe Hannans explains what gentle parenting means in his popular TikTok videos. He also takes it a step further and demonstrates what gentle parenting actually looks like in practice.

In one video, Hannans stitches a video showing a mother losing her cool and yelling and swearing at a toddler who wouldn't get out of the garbage when she asked nicely with the caption, "When gentle parenting is not working."

"So, gentle parenting is not talking to your child like, 'Oh, little Billy, you gotta stop. Stop that, little Billy,'" he says. "If I need a kid to do something, I'm gonna walk up, 'Hey, little Billy. This is what we're doing now.' I'm gonna say what you should be doing instead of what you shouldn't be doing."

Watch him explain the effect that has on a child's brain:

@the_indomitable_blackman
#stitch with @nazahmathis397 Learn what gentle Parenting actually is... #sahm #NextLevelDish #foryoupage #children #fyp #GetCrackin #kids

In another video, he demonstrates what gentle parenting might look like in practice with a specific scenario in which he asks a kid to come inside because it's about to start raining. The kid, Jimothy, responds in a way that's rude or disrespectful because he wants to stay outside a little longer. Watch how Hannans handles it:

@the_indomitable_blackman
#stitch with @Life with Sam 🤪 Gentle, permissive, Conscious, respectful, different names, same principles. High expectation, Hugh responsiveness. It's not violent, fearful or shameful. it teaches the lessons you want them to learn. If you wanna make the switch and have Questions, that's why I'm here! #parents #parenting #respect #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

As the parent in the situation, he doesn't act as if he's not bothered by the kid's reaction. He's real about it, but he doesn't react with anger. He models healthy emotional control. He makes it clear that the expectation is mutual respect, and he models and explains that, too. He has the kid come up with a respectful response and has him practice it. Then he shows the kid that the respectful response works better, offering positive reinforcement of the desired behavior.

"A lot of parents are unfortunately holding on the belief that gentle parenting is permissive parenting, and they are not the same thing," he says. "They are so different because gentle parenting actually does teach respect, it teaches boundaries, it teaches expectations, it teaches what you're supposed to do in a given interaction. It's what proper parenting looks like."

Sometimes gentle parenting is referred to as conscious parenting or respectful parenting, but it's all the same thing. It's parenting through the lens of teaching, with the understanding that kids aren't born knowing how to act or communicate or behave or express themselves. We as parents have to patiently and persistently teach them all of those things, and that looks a bit different at each age and stage.

What about things like tantrums? As Hannans shows and explains in another video, taking a proactive approach to prevent tantrums is much more effective than waiting for them to happen and then having to manage them. Tantrums happen—it is developmentally appropriate behavior at certain ages and stages. But there's a lot that a parent can do to lessen the chances of a kid melting down.

Here's one example of how a parent can prepare a child to go shopping and set the expectations beforehand for what a trip to the store is going to entail.

@the_indomitable_blackman
#stitch Kids will tantrum, but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! Teach these kids to self regulate when they're calm. Set expectations and boundaries AND HOLD FIRM TO THEM. For more information... Check out the book I wrote. #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #parenting #parents #teaching

Every parent knows that parenting is complicated no matter how much research we do and how much knowledge we have. Each child has their own innate personality that parents have to get to know, and each parent has their own upbringing, environment, culture and tendencies to contend with. Most of us want to parent well, but figuring out how to do that with all the different variables at play is hard.

But that doesn't mean there aren't better and worse ways to parent. We have research-backed, effective ways to teach a child how to be a solid, upstanding human being without having to resort to harsh punishments. Screaming and yelling, spanking, humiliation, shaming and other "old school" methods might seem like they "work" in the short term, because they cause a child to shut down and do as they're told out of fear. But that doesn't teach them what respectful behavior or emotional regulation actually look like. It doesn't give them the tools and skills they need to make choices for themselves. That's what gentle parenting is all about.

Follow Hannans on TIkTok for more gentle parenting education and demonstration, and check out his book, "This is Parenting," here.

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Modern Families

Woman's viral tweet about her mom's new boyfriend inspires a thread about second love

Love is...real 😍😍😍

'Love is a battlefield' indeed. They say you have to kiss ~~at least~~ a few frogs to find your prince and it's inevitable that in seeking long-term romantic satisfaction, slip ups will happen. Whether it's a lack of compatibility, unfortunate circumstances, or straight up bad taste in the desired sex, your first shot at monogamous bliss might not succeed. And that's okay! Those experiences enrich our lives and strengthen our resolve to find love. That's what I tell myself when trying to rationalize my three-month stint with the bassist of a terrible noise rock band.

One woman's viral tweet about a tacky mug wall encouraged people to share stories about second loves. Okay, first things first: Ana Stanowick's mom has a new boyfriend who's basically perfect. All the evidence you need is in the photograph:

— (@)

People were impressed by the boyfriend's embrace of her hobby, which is collecting some of the funkiest mugs this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, not all male partners are so supportive. Some of those 'male partners' include our literal dads. Luckily, the stories shared had happy endings. Love is possible!

— (@)

The mug collection itself is iconic, tbh.

Bystanders were also curious about the stuffed frogs pictured. A mom who has TWO off-kilter collections? We stan.

— (@)

This article originally appeared 6.15.19 and was published on SomeeCards. You can read it here.

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Richard Dreyfuss shared intimate photos of the moment he realized his son had a congenital disorder

"The most traumatic and emotional moment of my life was on June 14 1986."

via Rusty Blazenhoff/Flickr

Richard Dreyfuss at the Webby Awards.

Actor Richard Dreyfuss (star of “Jaws” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”) shared intimate photos of the birth of his son Ben that showed the shock and confusion parents experience when realizing their newborn has a birth abnormality.

On June 14, 1986, Dreyfuss and his wife Jeramie Rain had their second child and they could tell something was wrong shortly after his delivery. “Your eyes are not the same,” Ben would later write about his birth. “One is blue, the other is grey. One is hiding under a partially opened eye-lid; the other is extending far beyond it, like a potato exploding out of an egg cup.”

It was the “most traumatic and emotional moment of my life,” Richard wrote on Twitter. “My wife Jeramie gave birth to our second amazing child. And, as these pictures show, we slowly realized there was a problem with our son.”

\u201cThe most traumatic and emotional moment of my life was on June 14 1986. My wife Jeramie gave birth to our second amazing child. And, as these pictures show, we slowly realized there was a problem with our son.\u201d
— Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178

\u201cI held him and promised him that I would do everything I could take save him. That I would love him no matter what.\u201d
— Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178

\u201cHe was the first person born in California with peters anomaly. We spent months in hospitals with him and years raising money for charities Jeramie led for less fortunate kids than Ben.\u201d
— Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178

I am incredibly proud of all my children. https://t.co/Z2Vf1bafVw
— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) July 21, 2022

The actor’s photos are touching because they show the parents experiencing the incredible beauty of the birth while struggling to make sense of the unexpected.

“I held him and promised him that I would do everything I could [to] save him. That I would love him no matter what,” the “Mr. Holland’s Opus” star wrote.

Ben would later be diagnosed with Peters anomaly, a rare genetic condition that causes a clouding of the cornea and eye-structure abnormalities. Over the first year of Ben’s life, he would have multiple eye operations and would eventually lose all sight in his left eye.

He explained what life’s like with one eye in a blog post his father shared at the end of his tweet thread. It’s a raw open letter to himself that details how his struggles with being different evolved as he developed.

It’s a revealing glimpse into the interior monologue of someone who knows he’s being stared at but everyone is too polite to bring it up.

See on Instagram

“Eventually you come around to the idea that much more noticeable than the eye itself is your reaction to it,” he writes. “You couldn’t make eye contact with anyone for decades. Upon this realization, you decided to make piercing eye contact with everyone.”

Ben is a journalist who was in charge of audience development at Mother Jones for eight years. He has a popular Substack blog called “Good Faith” where he discusses the intersection of politics and social media from the unique perspective of a liberal with no problem pointing out progressive excesses.

Richard Dreyfuss’ photos of his son’s birth show that all the fame and acclaim in the world can be quickly dispatched when we see that there is something wrong with a child. But on a deeper level, they are an intimate look at the faces of parents whose lives have been upended in a moment they expected would be wholly joyous.

It’s a moment that many parents have unfortunately had to weather and hopefully, the photos will give them comfort knowing that the despair will soon be overcome by love.

This article originally appeared on 7.21.22

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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision

Spoiler alert: They’re totally fine with it.

via Pexels

Childless people over 50 discuss their decision.

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women who’ve decided to opt out of motherhood.

“You will regret it!” is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think they’ll have such awful regrets? Because they often say they’ll wind up “lonely and sad” when they’re older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older they’ll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never “feel complete” unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless.

Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: What’s lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they’re in the minority.

An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons they’ve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a “serious” question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked “People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?”

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children.

A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought they’d be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

1. Never had any desire.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." — IBeTrippin

2. No desire. No regrets.

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." — BornaCrone

3. Mixed feelings.

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.
But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." — ProfessorOzone

4. They never visit.

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." — joevilla1369

5. It wasn't an option.

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." — MaerakiStudioMe

6. Grandkids are cooler.

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" — Zublor

7. I'd be a bad parent.

"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." — Videoman7189

8. I'd rather be the cool aunt and uncle.

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." — laudinum

9. Loneliness is underrated.

"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" — Hermits_Truth

10. No diaper changes and no regrets.

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." — fwubglubbel

11. Zero desire.

"I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." — GrowlKitty

12. D.I.N.K.

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" — EggOntheRun

13. Some regrets

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though." — Johnny-Virgil

This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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Miracle twins have different fathers and the dads couldn't be happier about it

"We were just over the moon. We were both going to be dads — she was pregnant with both of our babies."

via Twins Trust / Twitter

This article originally appeared on 10.24.20

Twins born with separate fathers are rare in the human population. Although there isn't much known about heteropaternal superfecundation — as it's known in the scientific community — a study published in The Guardian, says about one in every 400 sets of fraternal twins has different fathers.

Simon and Graeme Berney-Edwards, a gay married couple, from London, England both wanted to be the biological father of their first child.

"We couldn't decide on who would be the biological father," Simon told The Daily Mail. "Graeme said it should be me, but I said that he had just as much right as I did."

The only way to make it happen would be to have twins through in vitro fertilization. But they would have to find a doctor that would implant embryos from separate fathers in the same surrogate.

They knew it wouldn't happen in England, so they looked for a doctor and surrogate mother in a different countries.

"I saw Simon and Graeme's profile on a surrogacy website and I thought they had lovely smiles," Meg Stone, the Canadian soon-to-be surrogate, said. "I had recently split with my partner and I wasn't ready for another baby, so I wanted to help someone."

via Meg Seroki-Stone / Facebook

Meg was already a mother of two children, Jeffrey, 12, and Max, five.

The couple flew out to Los Angeles, where they both fertilized eggs from an anonymous donor. Then, they journeyed to Canada where they met with Meg to be sure she was the perfect fit.

"We were nervous at the beginning — in case that we didn't click with her. But we needn't have worried," Simon said.

Six months later, one fertilized embryo of Simon's, and one embryo of Graeme's, were inserted into Meg's womb.

The couple spent a stressful week hoping both embryos would take. They were afraid that one of the fathers' embryos would work, the other wouldn't, and they'd have to eventually go through the same process again.

"She FaceTimed us from the scanning room. First of all, we saw one heartbeat, and our stomach clenched with nerves," Simon said.

"Then we saw the other heartbeat. Graeme and I just hugged each other," he continued. "We were just over the moon. We were both going to be dads — she was pregnant with both of our babies."

The couple kept in close touch with Meg over the coming weeks and flew back to Canada for her 19-week scan. The two proud fathers-to-be were delighted to touch her belly and feel their babies kicking inside the womb.

At 31 weeks, Meg was in pain and thought she was about to go into labor. So the two men quickly packed their bags and flew to Canada.

"We dashed to the hospital when we arrived, to find out it was a false alarm," Simon said. "We were just so relieved that she and the babies were fine."

The couple remained in Canada and five weeks later, Meg gave birth to Calder and Alexandra Berney Edwards.

"It was the most amazing experience of our lives," Simon said. "Alexandra was born first and then Calder arrived minutes later.

"When we both held them for the first time, we couldn't believe that we were both daddies," he added. "It was a long way to go and do this, but it was worth it to both be able to have fathered one of the twins each."

"Calder was the double of Graeme, and Alexandra was the image of me," Simon said.

The couple remained in Canada for seven more weeks before they could take their newborns home. Then, they hopped on a plane and returned to England.

But sadly, they had to leave a new member of their family behind.

"It was sad to say goodbye to Meg, When we brought them home for the first time, it was just incredible," Simon said. "Since then they have gone from strength to strength. They are doing so well and hitting all their milestones."

The twins recently celebrated their first birthday and the fathers flew Meg out to celebrate with them.

"Simon and Graeme are like brothers to me now," Meg said. "They call me the twins 'Tummy Mummy' which I love."

via LGBT News World

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Parenting

There's a big conversation happening over whether parents should have sex when their kids are home

It's healthy for kids to see their parents be romantic and affectionate — though there's a limit.

Unsplash and shadowized/X

The prompt was simple:

"Y'all ever got chewed up by Twitter?"

A user that goes by micah (@Shadowized) replied even more simply: "oh boy"

Then they shared a screenshot of an old Tweet that had ignited discussion and controversy over a year ago.

And what happened? The same Tweet started a firestorm — again!

The polarizing opinion that got everyone in a tizzy?

"Having sex when your children are in the house is weird. full stop. if you want to have sex that bad do it when no one's in the house. have someone babysit your kid. rent a hotel. they don't need to hear that because it can be incredibly traumatic. do better."

— (@)

Though the category was "controversial Tweets", at least a handful of people agreed with the sentiment

A not-insignificant number of people chimed in to say that they agreed — sex when your kids are home is weird, traumatic, gross. You name it.

— (@)

Some folks mentioned hearing or seeing their parents having sex with lots of different partners during their childhood which, admittedly, is probably a lot for a kid to process.

— (@)

But it didn't take long for Twitter, or now X, to start "chewing" Micah up. Again.

A user name Sarah wrote:

"no couple should just stop having sex and being intimate because they had kidsand if you can’t do it quietly or think you’re gonna “traumatize them”, then have fun renting hotel rooms once a month and planning out your sex based on if a babysitter is gonna be there for you or not on a friday night"

Another joked: "these kids can't know that you love each other. It'll traumatize them for life."

— (@)

Micah clarified later in the thread that all the people commenting were missing the original context of the hot take.

"The context was that a child woke up sobbing because she heard her mother screaming during sex. she was terrified and thought something was wrong!" Micah wrote, referencing an old viral TikTok that made light of that poor child's horror.

But it was too late. The Tweet was already off and running — steamrolling its way to over 23 million views (and counting).

@jayciunderwood
Omg 🙈🫣🫥😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Who knew people had so many strong opinions about parenting? And sex? And trauma?!

So... is getting caught having sex by your kids really traumatic? Or is it just kind of embarrassing?

Almost everyone has a story about hearing or, unfortunately, seeing their parents having sex when they were a kid — a story they wish they could forget.

When people live in close quarters together for years and years, it's bound to happen!

Expecting parents to keep the romantic side of their relationship a secret is unreasonable, unrealistic, and — if we're talking about overnight babysitters and hotel rooms — financially laughable.

To Micah's original point, though, there's obviously a line.

If you're screaming so loud that your child wakes up and thinks you're being murdered, maybe tone it down a tad!

But it's fair to ask just how hard parents should really be trying to stay discrete.

Limited research shows that parents who love each other can have a profoundly positive impact on their children later in life.

Allowing children to witness that affection and love in the form of "I love you's" and kisses and physical touch is a good thing and helps promote healthy emotional development, even if it makes them a little squeamish.

Maybe it's even a good thing for them to know, on some level, that you do have sex — even if you'd rather them not see or hear it. But if you get caught every once in a blue moon? They'll be fine — as long as you talk to them in an honest and age-appropriate way.

After all, it'd be way more traumatic to grow up in a household that demonizes sex than one that discusses it openly.

As for the original poster, Micah, they're taking all the discourse in stride.

"as much as i don’t 100% agree with the way i worded things i’m keeping this tweet up because it’s really funny to see people get mad!!!"

If that's the goal, then mission accomplished!

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