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Students working; an empty classroom.

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules: "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. After a quick search, I can confirm I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

 school's out, school days, school week, work week, schedules Schools Out Fun GIF by Pen Pals  Giphy  

So, it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

 school, kids, teachers, instruction time, classes, schedule Class in session Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash  

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

 teachers, stress, education, work, job Season 3 Running GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

Kids

Big brother steps in for his sister's father-daughter dance and then steals the show

“I don't know if he knows what an impact he's making as her big brother, but she'll never forget this.”

Best brother ever.

Even for the parents who prioritize showing up for their kids, missing a child's event now and then might be unavoidable. But certain occasions are more painful than others when a parent can’t show up, and fatherless father-daughter dances undoubtedly fall into this category.

In June 2024, six-year-old Harper was nearly put in this situation when her dad couldn’t show up to her dance studio's annual summer showcase—which normally includes a father-daughter dance—because of a work commitment.

Thankfully, her 14-year-old brother Micah is the coolest brother in the world, and stepped up to take her dad’s place so she wouldn’t miss out.

In a mega-viral video posted to Instagram by Harper and Micah’s mom, Patrice Thompson, we see the duo have a blast as they twirl in circles, fist bump, and end with an adorable lift for their “Barbie and Ken” themed routine.

“Core memory for the team today,” Thompson wrote in the caption. “I don't know if he knows what an impact he's making as her big brother, but she'll never forget this.”

 

Micah didn’t just have an impact on Harper. So many people left comments sharing how impressed and moved they were by his kindness.

“In a world of boys he is a gentleman,” one person wrote, referencing a Taylor Swift lyric.

Another offered a touching truth, writing, “As a man whose dad walked away from me, this makes me so emotional. You are raising your son to be the cycle breaker. He won’t end up repeating cycles of toxic masculinity like so many of the men we see today. he will be a better man. And his little sister will grow up knowing what a real man should be like, because she has her big brother to show her."

One comment commended Micah for stepping out of his comfort zone, saying, “Bless his sweet heart. I know how big that is for a 14 year old to put himself out there. Major props!”

“Watching him lift her up at the end got me i can’t lie i teared up 🥲🥲” another shared.

“As a girl who had my older brother participate in my “father-daughter” dances for drill team in high school, this made me soo emotional! 😭 this is a special moment they will remember forever,” reminisced another.

And perhaps the best (and truest) comment of them all, was this one: “Does your son know he's a legend?”

In an interview with Newsweek, Thompson shared that while she is “so proud” of her son, especially since most boys his age “would rather do anything else than perform a routine in front of their peers and during summer when he could be off with friends.” However, she is “not super surprised” that he what he did. “That's the young man he is!" she exclaimed, adding “he truly understands the meaning of being selfless."

To all the brothers who would show up for their siblings in this way—thank you. Your generosity and compassion really do help make the world a better place, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Here's the family all together: Mom, Dad, Micah, Harper, and the newest addition born earlier this year, baby Christian. Hopefully the new baby boy knows he won the sibling lottery.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

How judgmental parents taught us to anticipate a judgmental world.

Many of us grew up as sounding boards for our parents in one capacity or another—including being the one to hear their offhanded comments about someone else. It could very well be a trait that’s passed on to us that we do with our own kids, whether we realize it or not.

However, there’s one major way this impacts how littles grow up to perceive the world, says Nick Werber, an Integrative Coach who posts a lot of family education content across social media.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, Werber explained that, “When you grow up around a caregiver that was constantly judging or complaining about people behind their back but they did it in front of you, you may or may not have thought ‘Wow, mom or dad— they’re really judgmental.’ But what you might have absorbed is the fear that people are judging you behind your back.”

 
 @nick_werber When judgment is the background noise of childhood, it can shape how you experience closeness, even as an adult. This one is pretty specific, do you relate? #familydynamics #highlysensitiveperson #innerchildhealing #cyclebreakers #attachmentwounds #scapegoatchild #traumaawareness #healingjourney ♬ original sound - Nick_Werber 
 
 

He continued, “Because even if your caregiver’s judgments weren’t directed at you, the behavior shapes how you see relationships. It’s like you absorb that belonging means getting scrutinized. That closeness with other people opens you up to their judgments."

“I share this today not because I think parents should or even could be perfect in every way,” he concluded, “but because this is one of those things I think that really does affect sensitive, attuned kids and not enough people talk about this.”

If this scenario felt all-too-relatable for you, you’re not alone. The video, which racked up over 500K views, also brought in a slew of comments from folks who apparently had this exact same experience—many of whom grew up to become chronic people pleasers. Imagine that.

“My mother judged everyone. The mailman, the cooking show host, the cashier at the grocery, the lady at the drive thru. This makes SO much sense.”

 judgmental parents, family education, family, parents, parenting advice, healthy parenting, toxic parenting A woman judging a mailman. Photo credit: Canva

“So you’re telling me the reason I feared going into ‘popular’ stores at the mall as a teen because I feared the employees wer judgin me because I didn’t belong was actually because my mom judge everyone and everything? huh.”

“Ergh yes. They were constantly pointing out ‘fat’ people.”

“How did you know my life.”

“This is how I grew up. My mom would be so sweet to someone’s face then sneer at them the second they turned around. It was very confusing."

“Funny how growing up under constant judgment wires your brain to assume everyone’s holding a gavel, even when you’d never pick one up yourself. It’s like your nervous system still thinks it's being graded, even though you dropped the class years ago.”

“Absolutely. My mom, grandmother, and aunts live close together and talk about all the other family members. I will never open up or trust them because they will talk about my business too and make it everyone’s business.”

“I literally thought ‘wow mom and dad are so great so listing out all the ways people can be wrong, now I know how to be perfect…lol.”

 judgmental parents, family education, family, parents, parenting advice, healthy parenting, toxic parenting People pleasers, unite!Photo credit: Canva

This conversation isn’t meant to bash any parents for being imperfect, but rather to point out common, yet unhelpful, patterns which may continue to stifle our personal development (and that of our kids) if left unbroken. Thankfully, we are at a time where pattern-breaking conversations are very much the norm, and so many parents today aim to use the insights they gain about the past in order to create the healthy environments they might not have received.

via Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television and Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television
Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight from "The Brady Bunch"

Stephanie Tanner, Jan Brady, Cory Matthews. Where would we be without these iconic middle children who made for such great TV in the 60s-90s? And let's not forget Malcolm in the Middle, which managed to get an entire seven-season run out of all the conflict experienced by the misunderstood and overlooked middle child.

August 12 is National Middle Child Day in America, dedicated to recognizing the sibling in the middle. It’s a special day to highlight the kids who often get lost in the familial mix while the youngest hogs all the attention and the eldest has all the responsibilities.

Elizabeth Walker founded the day in the 1980s because she thought middle children were “left out.” But we think the great traits of being the kid in the middle are worth highlighting any day of the week.

When people discuss the plight of these kids, they often bring up Middle Child Syndrome, which some say leads kids caught in the middle to feel rebellious or have a chip on their shoulder. However, at Upworthy, we like looking at the bright side of things, so we’ve made a list of the 7 traits that make middle children amazing.

1. They’re good kids

Research shows that historically, middle children have been the most behaved out of the bunch. One study in 1964 and another in 2009 found that middle children were the least likely to act out.

Middle children have been shown to be humble, honest, and agreeable. The fact that they get less attention and have a less defined role in the family can lead to high levels of independence and self-sufficiency from a young age.

 middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Stephanie Tanner: iconic middle child.  Giphy  

2. They’re wonderful team players

Middle children are the way to go if you’re building a team, whether on the field or in the office. “They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic,” Katrin Schumann, author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children," told Psychology Today. “This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.”

Did you know that Michael Jordan was a middle child? To be fair, he was known to be a near-psychotic competitor and not the kindest teammate around, but he knew how to get the job done. Simone Biles was a middle child, too! Can't argue with that.

3. They are successful

Schumann also says middle children are more successful than their older and younger siblings. She notes that at least 52% of US presidents were middle children, as were Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Jennifer Lopez, Princess Diana and the aforementioned Michael Jordan.

"When they realize how many the useful skills they've developed as a result of being in the middle, they are empowered in ways that positively influence their lives," Schumann said, according to Business Insider. The expert claims that middle children are successful because they had to vie for attention and aren't used to giving up on what they want.”

 middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Joe Jonas: the best Jonas?  Giphy  

4. They are great negotiators

Middle children must develop excellent negotiating skills because they are at a power disadvantage in the home. "When middleborns are growing up, they don't get their way because they're the biggest and they don't get their way because they're the baby who was indulged,” Catherine Salmon, PhD. told CBS News.

They learn to be clever and crafty to get what they want. They also develop a more easy-going nature when things don't go their way. They're used to being overlooked in one way or another, and don't get as bent out of shape about it as the youngest and oldest sometimes do.

5. They’re humble

Middle children have to learn humility the hard way because their birth order makes them the least important in the bunch. But even though it’s a harsh lesson, the benefits are great. “Humility can produce more happiness, positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self,” Tiara BLain writes in a PsyD-reviewed article for Verywell Mind. “They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not.”

 middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Malcoln knows the struggle intimately.  Giphy  

6. They are creative

Middle children may also be more creative because they are “trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling,” Michele Borba, Ed.D., writes. Given that the eldest and youngest naturally stand out, the middle child may have to work a bit harder to receive attention for their creativity, so they push themselves further.

It could also be that middle children get a little more alone time spent in solitude to pursue creative endeavors.

 middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Jan had a hard time getting over her jealousy of the older Marcia.  Giphy  

7. They’re likeable

Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, says middle children may be more “agreeable” and easygoing” than their siblings. “They are more extroverted, as well,” she writes. “They don’t have to lead the pack, and they don’t get the 'babying' their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.”

What's more is that the likability and agreeableness of middle children was found to be higher the more children a family had. So when kids get even more "lost in the shuffle" in a four or five-children household, some of these traits and phenomenon become amplified. That also means the household has multiple middle children; anyone who's not the oldest or youngest qualifies for the label.

Ultimately, we’re all individuals, so not all middle children will develop these qualities. It depends how much stock you want to put into birth order theory. Some believe that birth order plays a monumental role in your personality and the trajectory of your life. Others are more skeptical. There's no denying, however, that oldests, youngests, and middles receive different amounts and kinds of parenting due to the nature of the family hierarchy. One study showed that youngest children, for example, get 3,000 more hours of quality time with their parents during their key childhood years than other siblings. That's a massive difference!

In any case, it’s nice to take a second and heap some praise on the kids who may have felt a little neglected during childhood by letting them know that they are special, too.

Just not as special as Marsha. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.