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Men falling into quick sand, molasses, meditation.

First of all, you're not alone. Feeling "stuck" can—and usually does—happen at any stage of life. It's not a reflection of your success status, your love attachment, or even necessarily your choices. But it can feel like you're walking in sticky molasses with no way out. These feelings could range from mere procrastination on small tasks to a bigger picture "stuckness" wherein you might feel an existential angst that seems to freeze your ability to make change.

While many therapists offer helpful solutions on how to get "unstuck," non-experts have creative ideas too, and they are surprisingly simple.

In 30 seconds flat, Stanford professor Graham Weaver shares ways to become unstuck, which he also imparts on his students. He begins by asking four questions: "What am I avoiding? I need to go right at that." So, let's say you've got mounds of paperwork on your desk and just can't bring yourself to go through it. This creates a cycle of stuckness, because until you tackle that task, you might not be able to move on to the next thing. Naming it is the first step to addressing it.

@grahamcweaver

How to get unstuck. Four simple tips. #growth #stuck #selfimprovement #mindsetmotivation #lifeadvice #personaldevelopment #goals

He then advises to ask the question, "Where do I start?" Good question, right? His answer is easy: "Translate my goal into something simple I can do today." This could merely be sending an email about a job opportunity or, ya know, going through at least a portion of that mountain of paperwork.

The third question he proposes is, "How do I 'win' today? Just write down three things I can move forward on today, and then get up and repeat that tomorrow." Your three things can be as simple or complex as you'd like. Example: Pay the minimum payment (if not all) of a bill. Send an email about a project idea. Change your sheets.

And lastly, he asks, "What are the habits that are interfering with where I want to go?" This is probably the most important and possibly most difficult when trying to assess your stuckness. (For me, it's a lack of focus. I'll begin doing something creative or practical, and then I'll start scrolling Instagram for hours. Since I can't change that, I put my phone in a drawer for as long as possible and give myself a goal of at least one hour without it. Baby steps.)

Just recently on Reddit, someone posted the question: "How do you quickly get out of a rut situation and take actions?" They describe feeling stuck, and in part share, "I want to learn skills. I want to mainly overcome fears and complete tasks that I’ve been neglecting to do. Now I always feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t have the proper plan and basic idea how to achieve goals. So my mind automatically chooses to procrastinate, yet in the background, all I do is worry about my life problems."

Redditors recognized themselves in this statement and many had solid ideas. The first commenter suggests literal movement. "For me, the way out was exercise. To start, once I got so frustrated with myself for lying around and doing nothing that I couldn't take it anymore, I would get up and go to the gym and use that frustration to get me moving. I noticed after I went to the gym I would feel so good, both physically and mentally. This spurred me to get more things done around the house, instead of just doing nothing."

 homer simpson, the simpsons, treadmill, excercise Homer tries to use the treadmill.  Giphy 20th Century Fox 

Another echoes Weaver's idea of creating smaller goals that can help one, as he said, "win today." This Redditor shares, "What I have found works for me is just getting something done to build momentum, even if it's a small thing. Then I layer another small thing on top of that and keep going. Some people say do the difficult things first and get it out of the way. I am not built that way. I fear what's difficult and procrastinate. So I build up to it by gaining smaller victories."

This person offers what's called The Two Minute Method. "The two minute method (it has a million other names as well) is good. Just take one thing you know you need to be doing, and do it for 2 minutes. Generally, once you get going, you'll be able to do it for longer than that. The great barrier is inertia—objects at rest want to stay at rest."

While there were many other helpful answers from everyday Redditors, this person listed three excellent ideas in a row of things one can actually do right now to make a significant change: "If you’re on social media and often catch yourself mindlessly scrolling every time there’s a lull in the day, challenge yourself to delete the apps. For a week, for a month, etc. See how you feel!"

They add to motivate yourself through music. "If you’re a music person, put together some playlists based on the mood you’re trying to set. Need some light background noise for reading? Throw together some chill instrumental songs. Need a workout playlist? Gather all the songs that get you amped. If your library isn’t that deep you can always search for playlists on YouTube/Spotify."

And lastly, "Might sound silly, but meditation can be a great tool to help look inward, boost your morale, and set intentions for what you want to focus on. You can look up: affirmations meditation, motivation meditation, unstuck meditation."

Here's one of many meditations focused on unsticking:

  guided meditation, anxiety, feeling stuck, therapy  www.youtube.com, John Davisi 

Contestants compete quietly in the 2025 Han River Space-Out Competition.

With meditation on the rise, slowing down has never seemed so attractive. But what if you took it to the next level? Imagine this: sitting perfectly quiet for 90 minutes straight (the length of a typical movie): no talking, no laughing, no looking at your phone, and definitely no falling asleep. Sounds pretty difficult, right? Now, imagine being surrounded by nearly 100 competitors while attempting this. What are you competing at, you ask? Doing absolutely nothing.

Welcome to the serene, powerful world of “space-out competitions,” a fascinating phenomenon that began in South Korea, and is now sweeping across Asia—and beyond.



What exactly is a space-out competition?

The concept is simple: participants gather in a public space, often sitting on yoga mats, and compete against each other by doing nothing for 90 minutes. Competitors are free to move around and change positions but be warned: although lying on your back is comfortable, it could lead to falling asleep, which warrants immediate disqualification. So does playing music, talking, or laughing.

If players need to use the bathroom, they can raise a colored card to be excused. Judges roam around, carefully monitoring the contestants. At the end of the 90 minutes, the judges choose the ten competitors who seemed the most peaceful. Of those ten, the person whose heart rate graph shows the steadiest downward trend is crowned the winner.


lying down, eyes closed, relaxed, spacing out, grassSpace-out competitions were created to combat burn-out and an overstimulating world. Photo credit: Canva

“It’s the quietest competition in the world,” says the founder of South Korea’s space-out competition, a visual artist who goes by the pseudonym, Woopsyang. In 2014, she was inspired to create the competition after suffering severe burnout, telling CNN, “I wondered why I was so anxious about doing nothing. So, I created a competition thinking that it would be nice to pause all together at the same place at the same time.”

But what began as a quirky art project quickly evolved into something much more profound, with space-out competitions in Asia now regularly attracting thousands of applicants, although only 50-80 people are often selected to participate.


From burnout to breakthrough

Woopsyang’s origin story is, sadly, not unique for her home country of South Korea, where a grueling work culture persists. Known as “pali pali” (빨리빨리), or “hurry hurry” culture, citizens feel pressured to approach life through a turbo-charged lens. Those who succeed, by burning their candle from both ends, simultaneously wear this burn-out badge with honor while deeply resenting the nation’s ethos—one that rewards speed, efficiency, and rapid progress above all else.

yelling, move it, faster, hurry, stress. hurrySouth Korea's "pali pali" culture prizes speed, efficiency, and progress over everything else: even mental health.media3.giphy.com

There are other ways that South Koreans are fighting back against the burnout, like with the rising “sohwakhaeng” movement, which roughly translates to “small but certain happiness.” South Koreans have embraced this philosophy in droves, realizing that delight can exist in any moment: in a freshly baked loaf of bread, neatly folded clothing, or the smell of freshly cut grass. By consciously training ourselves to be aware of life’s smallest beauties, we begin to see the bigger picture and excavate ourselves from the day-to-day toils that seem to drag us down.

“Especially here in Korea, it’s such a competitive country, where people think that if they do nothing that they are a little behind,” says 35-year-old freelance announcer Kwon So-a, who won the 2024 Space-Out Competition in Seoul. “I think everyone has to have their own pace and sometimes just slow down.”

What started in Seoul is now gaining traction across Asia and beyond, with space-out competitions spreading to cities including Beijing, Rotterdam, Taipei, Hong Kong and Tokyo, reports CNN.


The science behind spacing out

“Doing nothing is good for your mental health,” explains Kwon So-a. “Your body has to relax. But your body can only relax when your brain relaxes.”


This mentality, which lead to So-a’s win, exemplifies the principle of ART, or Attention Restoration Theory, which was developed primarily by psychologists Rachel and Stephen Kaplan. The central idea here is that directed attention—the kind channeled towards work, phones, and screens; most of what fills our modern days—fatigues the brain and has “far-reaching consequences.” It’s a radical way of looking at the human attention span: that directed attention, the kind we use to focus on tasks, is a finite resource that gets depleted, minute by minute, second by second.

To combat this, ART argues that natural environments—such as National Parks—and other activities that engage in “soft fascination” allow our directed attention to replenish. It might sound vague, but that’s because it’s meant to. Researchers describe soft fascination as “attention that is less demanding on our mental capacity,” conducted in environments where reflection and daydreaming can run wild. Dr. Kaplan specifically names locations like sitting next to a stream or discovering a quiet place in the forest as places that “capture attention effortlessly,” as opposed to “hard fascination,” found in hyper-arousing video games, movies, or television. Soft fascination supports mental respite and replenishes our attention, rather than depletes it.

Which makes space-out competitions the perfect oases for soft fascination and attention restoration, as participants are allowed to sit quietly in their surroundings, disengaging from the constant distractions of modern life.

man sitting, contemplation, nature, beauty, spacing out, restThere are ways to incorporate spacing out in your daily life, no competition required. Photo credit: Canva


How to space out, no competition required

You don’t need to enter a space-out competition to reap the benefits of attention restoration therapy or simply doing nothing. And you definitely don’t need to do sit quietly for 90 minutes or monitor your heart rate. Here are a few simple ways to incorporate spacing out into your daily life:

  1. Schedule unstructured time: Scan your calendar and reserve a 15 to 30-minute block to just exist. You could walk to a local park and watch the clouds float by, or simply just stare out the window. The only goal here is to feel as unstimulated as possible.
  2. Remove distractions: Put your phone on silent, leave it in another room, and be intentional. This is your space-out time: treat it as sacred.
  3. Boredom is actually good for you: Although it seems like we’re always trying to escape it, try embracing boredom. During space-out moments, it might be tempting to throw yourself into mental planning or thinking about the past or future. Those things will always be there when you return. Gently allow these thoughts to pass.
  4. What’s your soft fascination? Finding what works for you is half the fun. Maybe it’s leaning back in your chair and noticing how your house plant catches the light, or sitting on a calm, chill corner of your block and listening as the birds sing through the trees.
  5. Remember: this is not a waste of time: Well, not in the traditional sense, anyway. “We feel like we’re wasting our time if we don’t do anything while others are keeping busy,” Woopsyang reminds us. “[But] you can waste time a little bit. You deserve it.”



One day, Woopsyang dreams of creating a “World Spacing Out Day,” where everyone on earth stops moving at the same time, just for a short while, she tells InsideHook. "Wouldn’t it be the world’s largest, quietest festival?” In the meantime, we could all take a page out of Woopsyang’s book, and find ways to quietly engage in our own, mini space-out competitions. After reading this article, why not give it a try?

A woman tempted by a chocolate bar.

Imagine a life where you had complete control over your cravings. You'd be able to resist that big hunk of chocolate cake. You’d be able to know when enough is enough with alcohol and drugs. You’d also have the willpower to put your phone down when your mind tells you to pick it up and start scrolling through Instagram.

While perfect self-control seems impossible (and not very fun), studies show that a technique called urge surfing is very effective at helping people control their cravings so they become less frequent and intense over time. Instead of using white-knuckled willpower to get through an uncomfortable craving, urge surfing is a practice where you observe the craving as it moves through your body until it goes away.

What is urge surfing?

Let’s say you have a strong urge to eat a candy bar. Picture the urge as a wave and imagine yourself riding the wave as it naturally ebbs and flows rather than fighting the urge to give in to the craving. You recognize the urge, pay attention to the accompanying thoughts, and feel the sensations that go through your body. It’s all about accepting the craving and allowing it to pass.

surfing, surfers, waves, mindfulness, cravings, ocean, swimmingA surfer catching air.via Canva/Photos

Jennifer Salzaman, known on TikTok as @RebelwithoutaDrink, explained the practice in a video. “Urge surfing is exactly what it sounds like. It’s riding out an urge just like a surfer rides a wave. When that craving or that urge peaks, it feels like it will never go away, and you have to act on it. But you don't, as uncomfortable as it is, it is just a feeling. It's just a thought, and it will pass if you can stay present, and you can stay curious, and you can let that urge and that craving run its course. You're training your brain to deal with the discomfort. The more you do this, the easier it will be to achieve the changes that you seek.”

@rebelwithoutadrink

Urge surfing is a technique for managing our unwanted behaviors. Rather than giving in to an urge, we can learn to ride it out, like a surfer riding a wave. After a short time, the urge will pass on its own! #quitdrinking #cravings #alcoholfreejourney

Dr. Sanam Hafeez tells Verywell Mind that understanding the ocean metaphor is important because it gives us a reference point to realize that the craving will peak and pass. Hafeez says, "Visualize the urge as a wave in the ocean, rising in intensity before eventually cresting and subsiding." She suggests you "picture yourself riding this wave, allowing it to peak without giving in to impulsive actions." Remind yourself that “urges, like waves, are temporary and will eventually pass if you allow them to."

According to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Addiction and Recovery, the most you’ll have to surf any craving is 30 minutes, and then it will leave you alone for a while. However, it’s crucial to surf them, not to feed them. “We feed urges through ruminating, giving them attention, planning to fulfill them, engaging in apparently irrelevant and unimportant behaviors, justifying, etc. Urges will pass on their own if we allow them to,” the recovery center says.

mindfulness, peaceful, restful, woman resting, woman as peace, woman satisfiedA woman relaxing on the couch. via Canva/Photos

The great thing is that after you successfully surf a few urges and they go away, it will train your brain to handle the discomfort, which will make handling cravings increasingly easier. Most cravings will become more manageable, less frequent, and intense over time. The key is to train your brain to handle them through surfing.

It should be said that urge surfing is just one tool for helping people overcome intense cravings. It is not meant to be a replacement for professional treatment for a serious addiction or disorder. If you are suffering from problems stemming from drug or alcohol addiction or disordered eating, please get professional help.

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.

Teaching students how to self-regulate had big results.


Imagine you're working at a school and one of the kids is starting to act up. What do you do?

Traditionally, the answer would be to give the unruly kid detention or suspension.

But in my memory, detention tended to involve staring at walls, bored out of my mind, trying to either surreptitiously talk to the kids around me without getting caught or trying to read a book. If it was designed to make me think about my actions, it didn't really work. It just made everything feel stupid and unfair.

But Robert W. Coleman Elementary School has been doing something different when students act out: offering meditation.

Instead of punishing disruptive kids or sending them to the principal's office, the Baltimore school has something called the Mindful Moment Room instead.

The room looks nothing like your standard windowless detention room. Instead, it's filled with lamps, decorations, and plush purple pillows. Misbehaving kids are encouraged to sit in the room and go through practices like breathing or meditation, helping them calm down and re-center. They are also asked to talk through what happened.

Two young people meditating

Meditation can have profoundly positive effects on the mind and body

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.


Meditation and mindfulness are pretty interesting, scientifically.

children meditation

A child meditates

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.

Mindful meditation has been around in some form or another for thousands of years. Recently, though, science has started looking at its effects on our minds and bodies, and it's finding some interesting effects.

A 2010 study, for example, suggested that mindful meditation could give practicing soldiers a kind of mental armor against disruptive emotions, and it can improve memory too. Another suggested mindful meditation could improve a person's attention span and focus.

Individual studies should be taken with a grain of salt (results don't always carry in every single situation), but overall, science is starting to build up a really interesting picture of how awesome meditation can be. Mindfulness in particular has even become part of certain fairly successful psychotherapies.

Children practicing yoga

After-school yoga.

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.

Back at the school, the Mindful Moment Room isn't the only way Robert W. Coleman Elementary has been encouraging its kids.

The meditation room was created as a partnership with the Holistic Life Foundation, a local nonprofit that runs other programs as well. For more than 10 years the foundation has been offering the after-school program Holistic Me, where kids from pre-K through the fifth grade practice mindfulness exercises and yoga.

"It's amazing," said Kirk Philips, the Holistic Me coordinator at Robert W. Coleman. "You wouldn't think that little kids would meditate in silence. And they do."

Child wearing sunglasses meditates

A child meditates at the Holistic Life Foundation

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.

There was a Christmas party, for example, where the kids knew they were going to get presents but were still expected to do meditation first. "As a little kid, that's got to be hard to sit down and meditate when you know you're about to get a bag of gifts, and they did it! It was beautiful, we were all smiling at each other watching them," said Philips.

The kids may even be bringing that mindfulness back home with them. In the August 2016 issue of Oprah Magazine, Holistic Life Foundation co-founder Andres Gonzalez said: "We've had parents tell us, 'I came home the other day stressed out, and my daughter said, "Hey, Mom, you need to sit down. I need to teach you how to breathe.'"

The program also helps mentor and tutor the kids, as well as teach them about the environment.

Children work in the garden

Building a vegetable garden.

Photo from Holistic Life Foundation, used with permission.

They help clean up local parks, build gardens, and visit nearby farms. Philips said they even teach kids to be co-teachers, letting them run the yoga sessions.

This isn't just happening at one school, either. Lots of schools are trying this kind of holistic thinking, and it's producing incredible results.

In the U.K., for example, the Mindfulness in Schools Project is teaching adults how to set up programs. Mindful Schools, another nonprofit, is helping to set up similar programs in the United States.

Oh, and by the way, the schools are seeing a tangible benefit from this program, too.

Philips said that at Robert W. Coleman Elementary, there were exactly zero suspensions during the 2014-15 school year and beyond. For over two decades, they've been transforming lives and schools for the better. Check out their progress on their Instagram.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.