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The people I listed as my emergency contacts both died. How I found footing without a safety net.

The world keeps spinning even when people you love fall off of it.

emergency contacts, love, death, crisis, grief
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An In Case of Emergency sign.

“Meet me on the Moon,” I’d said. “If one of us ever dies, that’s where we should meet. We should bring raincoats and flashlights, just in case.”

I said this to a third grade friend, whose name I can’t recall, and then we immediately got into a fight as to whether Snoopy or Garfield was cuter. (Obviously, Snoopy, right?) But it was an excellent plan and one I made, at least in my mind, with nearly everyone I’ve ever loved.

the moon, stars, space, Cosmos, outer spaceEarth's Moon among the stars. Photo by Josh Miller on Unsplash

In just a year and a half's time, my two “in case of emergency” people died. One was my Dad, whose presence in my life was colossal. He was the loudest, smartest person in the room, full of radio stories and Topps baseball cards. You will never meet a person who loved dogs more than him (except possibly myself), and even though he hugged like a Texan— which is just a hard pat on the back—his life force was like a giant swaddling blanket. He’d hate hearing that, because he didn’t like the gooey stuff. But too bad.

I was always making him take “personality” quizzes online and he never understood the point of them. “So I can understand you better,” I’d say. “I like Monty Python. And bacon. What else is there to understand?”

The glow itself didn’t come from him. Warmth wasn’t really his thing. But when I was super young, he’d wake me and my brother up sometimes in the middle of the night to look at the icy rings of Saturn through his telescope. Or the Moon when it was in a particularly rare phase. I’d occasionally sneak into the room when he was watching the original Cosmos on PBS. I’d stroll past his bookshelf, full of theoretical themes and astrophysics. This is where his glow was kept.

We emailed each other YouTube links of songs we liked. I’m not sure he always listened to mine, but it was our way of talking without talking. “Listen to the lyrics.” Or “Get to the bridge when the slide guitar kicks in.” It was between the notes where we found a Dad/Daughter language in which we were both fluent.

-Don Henley, Jackson Browne. Blind Pilotwww.youtube.com

Once, not even that long ago, I proposed this to him: “What if what scientists perceive to be “dark matter” is really just ghosts? We sense something is there, in the fabric of space, but we can’t account for it, because it’s just spirits who were once here and are now gone. Do you think that’s possible?” He didn’t even look up from his iPad. “No. Absolutely not.”

When he got sick with leukemia, I was sitting with him when the hospice chaplain came to visit. My Dad, who certainly wasn’t religious, surprisingly asked, “Do you think we’re reincarnated? Because if so, I’d like to come back as a professional golfer. If I come back as a ballroom dancer, please shoot me and let me start over.”

He then mentioned a fear of coming back as a “water bug.” I said I didn’t think that would happen and he asked how could I be sure. I said, “It’s just the kinda thing you know.”

I didn’t believe he could ever really leave. He’d announced he was leaving for at least 20 years before, (cancer twice, clogged arteries, you name it) and this time around, I thought it was impossible. He had a big birthday party and passed the next morning in his sleep.

Just a Thursday like any given Thursday. I cried noises I didn’t think I could make and then I went to the Moon. I hunted through the cold for remnants of life. I combed through layers of dark matter, asking spirits or professional golfers to reveal themselves. Nothing answered me back.

flashlights, stars, moon, searching, spacesilhouette of man holding flashlight Photo by Linus Sandvide on Unsplash


On a different Thursday, a year and half prior, I saw my best friend (and second-in-command “case of emergency”) Jordan for the last time. I’d dragged him to a dumb “Awards Season” documentary screening, wearing the completely wrong dress that he’d said looked like an Atari game.

He was off that night. But Hollywood is off, so tilted backwards that if anyone stumbles inside of it, they actually seem balanced. Who isn’t off when zombies roam Sunset screaming obscenities and no one seems to notice? The CNN building blink, blink, blinks its red light into our hopeful smog, mistaking us for Time Square, daring us to report how f-ing crazy it all is.

Jordan and I had been sealed the summer of 1997. Boyfriends, apartments, girlfriends, roommates, and dogs came and went, but we were sealed. My romantic crush on him ebbed and flowed until we finally made out for a year in 2005. That put a crimp in the pureness of our friendship and we had to take a few years off for the resentment. I wonder, now, what kind of memories we could have filled in those missing years.

He was that kind of friend who made up nicknames for EVERY. SINGLE. GUY I’d ever even so much as gone on one date with. Star Trek Man. Loud Talker. Crunch the Numbers Guy. The kind of friend with whom you have so many inside jokes, you can’t keep them straight. We wrote lyrics to movie theme songs and would just voice memo them to each other all day long.

He’d gotten really sad around 2016, but hadn’t we all? He got mopey. Started eating poorly, stopped making eye contact. I don’t know if that’s the year he went and bought himself a gun, but that’s what he did.

Four weeks after I saw him, he texted me alternate lyrics to the theme song for the movie Meatballs (which was oddly and hilariously just something about Bill Murray’s face), and then a few days later, he took his own life. I’ve always hated the expression “take your own life,” because it begs the obvious question…took it where? Where did he take it? It makes it sound like he took it to Hawaii on vacation. That life—it was so heavy on me, it seemed impossible to lift. He was my boulder. He was an unmovable green stone that lived inside every tunnel in the gray matter of my mind, dipping in and out like sugar in rum, exploding into light like a Supernova.

space, supernova, green light, art, cosmosan artist's impression of a green spiral in space Photo by Javier Miranda on Unsplash

And so when he left, I got untethered—and not in a good way. I just couldn’t keep my feet in this atmosphere. My darkness turned to rage and then to guilt and then to darkness again. And yeah, that’s all laid out in those pop psych books about grief, but what they don’t tell you is how quiet the in-between moments are. How still and creepy and unkind your own thoughts can be, as if a piece of sepia-toned gauze has been stuck between you and the rest of the world. Once people stop texting “How are you?” you realize the world has continued to spin, even when people you love fall off of it.

So for the last few months, I’d leave my Moon expeditions and bounce back down to Earth to try and fall in love or reconnect or watch the news to understand the nature of man and power and all that comes with it. Ya know, whatever it is we’re supposed to do when we’re alive. But as it turns out, Tinder dates don’t like to hear about this kind of stuff.

Him: “Would you like another martini?”

Me: “…And ANOTHER thing about death and dying is…”

Him: “Check, please!”

So, back up I’d go to the deepest craters, digging for proof of death. Holding my flashlight in its brightest position, searching for signs, as Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot loomed in the background. This same blue dot containing all of my Dad and Jordan’s old photos and trophies and passwords to social media accounts that seem impossible to have ever held such meaning. Wondering if I found them out there, will they know me? Will they remember me?

earth, space, clouds , Pale Blue Dot, planet Earth with clouds above the African continent Photo by NASA on Unsplash

But it turns out I have not been standing on any rock at all. I’ve been in a billion mile dust cloud made up of all the things I wished I’d ever said and done. There is no point of singularity I can return to, as it all just keeps churning outwards. And as you’re hurling through the milky swirls, you don’t have time to grab on to a single thing.

It doesn’t matter how many trillions of times I forget and command Siri to “Call Jordan” or “Call Dad.” Those sound waves become slack tides, and sit stationary, motionless, unable to surf. Though lately when I’ve accidentally asked my iPhone to “Call Dad,” it chooses to “Call Dan”— a guy I went on one awful date with on Bumble. Poor Dan must be so confused…and terrified.

So, I’m touching back down to re-enter the atmosphere for as long as I can. To stop banging my head against the same walls. To try not to turn every heartbreak into “ninth grade Cecily, listening to The Cure on repeat.” Or maybe the opposite…DEFINTELY turn every heartbreak into “ninth grade Cecily listening to The Cure on repeat.” To accept the fact that I’m drawn to people with flaws bigger than my own, perhaps so I can hide inside them like a puzzle piece that never quite fits.

heart, puzzle pieces, love, flawsTwo pink hearts float on a black background Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

And yes, while the “How are you?” texts stop coming, love, even in death, is stronger than any answer you could even give to that insipid question. It exists on its own, whether you’re of sound mind or not. It exists, even if the Moon contingency plan seems elusive.

Reentry from the darkest corners of time, space, faulty neurotransmitters, and loss is a birthright we can’t afford to ignore. So we shouldn't ignore it. We must remember that although we are sometimes left with a void bigger than any black hole, we are the light that escapes. I think of that light, much like time itself, as though it were handfuls of glitter, floating aimlessly through our bodies and the bodies of everyone we've ever known. Our dogs, our late-night strawberry wine crushes, our family, Jordan—and yeah, even that weird Bumble date, Dan, (I guess.)

We must find a way to tether ourselves into the present, even those of us who are constantly searching. Because we will always be searching—for what we once knew, and what we haven't met yet. For me, it's in my dreams and it's always my dad. We're supposed to go to some play or football game or concert. Keys in hand, I call out for him and he doesn't answer. I can still smell his vanilla pipe tobacco lingering in this in-between space, but there's no trace of him for what seems like hours and then I wake up. (Although in one dream, we were headed to the Super Bowl and he briefly appeared just to taunt that my beloved Cowboys were gonna lose. Jokes on him because we hadn't been to the Super Bowl in decades.)

I’ll get back to the Moon soon enough. Until then, I’ll try to stop asking first dates, especially those I meet on Tinder, to be my “in case of emergency” contacts. Too soon, Cecily.

Popular

Why do we eat chicken eggs, duck eggs, and quail eggs, but not turkey eggs?

They're perfectly edible and apparently quite tasty, but you never see them on a menu.

Have you ever eaten a turkey egg?

When we talk about eating eggs in the U.S., we're almost always talking about chicken eggs. Occasionally, we might see duck eggs or quail eggs on the menu in a gourmet restaurant, and even more rarely something exotic like an emu egg. But do we ever see turkey eggs being served? Nope, never. (At least I never have, nor has anyone I've asked about this.)

Considering how many turkeys are raised domestically in the U.S. (around 220 million) and how many wild turkeys roam among us (around 7 million), you'd think we'd make better use of their eggs. They are egg-laying birds, after all, and since turkey meat is so similar to chicken meat, it seems logical that turkey eggs would be similar to chicken eggs, right?

 turkey eggs, eating eggs, chicken eggs, egg production Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs with a thicker shell.Photo credit: Canva

Right. Basically, that's true. Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs and they have a stronger shell, but from what people say, they're similar to eating chicken eggs only a little richer. Larger and richer, and yet we don't eat them on the regular? Why the heck not?

 babbel, language, learning a language, deals, sales A person uses the Babbel appBabbel


Babbel’s Biggest Sale of the Year: Get 67% off. Lifetime Subscriptions For $199


The Self-Sufficient Backyard YouTube channel explains the whole thing in a video that's been viewed by nearly 4 million people. Clearly, this is a burning question for people once it's brought to their attention.

  - YouTube  youtube.com  

Basically, what it boils down to is that their size makes them hard to handle, package, and store. Turkeys also aren't nearly as prolific as chickens. (Chickens lay eggs around once per day, while turkeys lay at most twice per week.) It's also more expensive to raise turkeys than chickens, so the price of a turkey egg is prohibitive, at around $3 per egg. Considering how everyone lost their minds over chicken eggs at $6 a dozen, it's unlikely people would pay $36 for a dozen turkey eggs.

However, some people who have eaten turkey eggs shared their thoughts on how they taste, and now people (me, I am people) really want to try them:

"I have eaten turkey eggs for years. They are larger shells are thicker but they taste wonderful."

"I've baked with Turkey eggs and they made the best pancakes I have EVER tasted."

"They taste like chicken eggs, I have turkeys. They only lay seasonally, generally starting in March, and they’ll continue to lay through June-August. They can lay 60ish eggs a year. They’re about 2x the volume of a chicken egg. They make excellent omelettes. Harder to crack, with a thicker membrane and shell."

 turkey eggs, wine, eating turkey eggs Turkey eggs on the menu.Photo credit: Canva

"Growing up, my family had a turkey! She laid eggs and we were always enamored by how huge they were. They taste wonderful!"

"We had turkeys with our chickens. They laid eggs daily with the chickens from March to September then would stop while the chickens would just slow down. I was surprised because I thought they would just lay a clutch once or twice because that’s what the wild turkeys do but nope. The only down fall we found was that cracking them was difficult. But if you use a butter knife to give it a whack at the top it works pretty well. It was like getting two egg whites and one yolk in chicken egg ratio lol."

"Taste exactly like chicken eggs. Way bigger. The only difference is the shell is way tougher to crack. So good."

Apparently experience with turkeys and turkey eggs is not uncommon? City folks, take note:

"I was raised on turkey's eggs... I come in from a part of Canada where we are raising turkeys. In Valcartier, turkey eggs used to be much cheaper than any other kind of eggs."

"Growing up on a farm being born in the 50s in western North Carolina we ate lots of turkey eggs. We usually had a dozen or so hen turkeys so we had quite a few to spare."

 turkeys, wild turkeys, turkey eggs Turkeys live all over the U.S.  Giphy/Minnesota State University Moorhead 

"My inlaws usually give us turkey eggs for the holidays. They have a big farm in Virginia with all sorts of animals. They usually just sell their eggs at the local market and give us the rest lol."

"The wild turkeys that live in my area used to get in my bird feeders when I had a house. One day I found an egg in the yard, possibly as payment lol."

"I've got a turkey for a pet. Her name is "Sweetpea" and I keep her around for no other reason except that she's awesome and provides good conversation. Every now and then during the warm months of the year she leaves me breakfast somewhere around the yard."

And then, just for funsies, there's this little anecdote about those "technically edible" emu eggs:

"Back in elementary school we had a teacher that raised Emus. She would always make delicious cakes but would tell no one how she made them. Eventually she told my mother the reasons she told no one was because she was afraid that people would stop eating them if they found out that she was using one emu egg for every three chicken eggs. We didn’t care."

There you go. Answering a question you may never have asked but desperately needed and answer to once you thought about it.

This article originally appeared in May.

Joy

15 quirky boomer habits that frustrate millennials to their core

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

Perhaps we'll never understand each other.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you tend to have you major nemeses. Gen Zers take aim at Gen Xers, while baby boomers and millennials are notoriously at odds and just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach.

A Redditor asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating. The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents A boomer not understanding how to work a camera media1.giphy.com  

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that millenials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents An image of stacked boxesPhoto credit: Canva

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"


 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents John Lithgow in '3rd rock from the Sun' media1.giphy.com  

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents A photo of stacked travel trunksPhoto credit: Canva

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."


 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents A clip from 'SNL' featuring Mikey Day media3.giphy.com  

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."


 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents Honestly, we all have our irrational fears.  media1.giphy.com  

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents Would you eat a moldy pickle? media4.giphy.com  

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents Nicole Kidman in 'The Stepford Wives' media4.giphy.com  

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents Sophia from 'The Golden Girls' media.giphy.com  

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

 millennials, boomers, millennials vs boomers, generational differences, boomer parents, millennial parents Kent Brockman from 'The Simpsons' media0.giphy.com  

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

This story originally appeared in January.

Photo by Hans Isaacson on Unsplash

Young girl drawing a face.

It was just another day in West Hartford, Connecticut. The year was 1949 and the place was Sedgwick Elementary School. Father's Night was approaching, so Kindergarten teacher Doris Morcom asked her young students to draw portraits of their dads. From the Inside History (via @Life) Instagram description, "Each child drew a portrait of their father entirely from memory."

What made this extra special was that Al Fenn, a photographer from Life Magazine was there to photograph the children with their fathers holding up the drawings. They revealed "portraits that were both delightfully imperfect and surprisingly accurate, offering a tender glimpse in the way children see their parents."

Fenn, incidentally, spent 15 years at Life Magazine, creating some diverse, iconic photos. The Life website shares, "In 1931, as a gift on his first visit to Europe, Al Fenn (1912-1995) was given a Leica. By the time he returned to the States, his 'heart now belonged to photography.'"

In each picture, the children seemed to beam while their fathers looked, by contrast, somewhat serious. These photos have been posted on many social media sites, but on the Inside History reel, many of the commenters mention how business-like the fathers looked in their suits. One writes, "Not ONE dad looks happy from the results." But this gets some push back from, well, a middle aged man. "They are happy. This is how middle aged white dudes look when we're happy. I feel so misunderstood."

Another points out it was of the time to be more conservative in photos, as one didn't get as many takes back in the day. "Some of the biggest smiles you'll see in a pic from this time period."

A common theme is the idea that the fathers look older than your average dad in 2025. Someone counters, "These pictures were accurate. I find it interesting that many people are saying the dads look old when in reality, I think we are just being so inundated with people chasing youth and wanting to look forever 20-something. We don't realize that these people, these fathers, look normal."

On the lighter side, many also mention how strangely on point the portraits are. One jokes, " To be fair, I couldn’t even draw a picture of my dad while looking directly at my dad." It's also noted how deeply proud these children seem, not only with their work as artists, but as their role as kids to these dads. "Look how proud the kids are," one commenter exclaims.

Some note the similarities that a few of them look to celebrities, particularly Brian Cranston and John Cena.

 Bryan Cranston, actor, celebrity, look alike, photos Bryan Cranston at the 2014 Peabody Awards.  en.m.wikipedia.org  

Their teacher, Ms. Morcom, wound up teaching for 35 years and just passed a few years ago at the age of 87. Most likely, she could not have known how impactful her sweet idea to have the kids draw their dads would be. And as an extra little treat? The fathers then took an aim at drawing her, which they proudly held up to be photographed.

A child who disagrees with her mother.

If an elementary school teacher starts their job immediately after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll likely teach over 1,200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, provides teachers with incredible insight into what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

 

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

 parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, teachers, retired teachers,  A father and son talking together.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

 parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, teachers, retired teachers,  A mom and daughter.via Canva/Photos

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

Some chimed in with sympathy for parents who are working hard and can't give their children the attention they deserve. "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by," a commenter wrote. "We do enjoy our kids, but most of us have no village. It’s exhausting," another wrote.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. According to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into the best version of themselves, rather than pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared earlier this year.

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents and grandparents sure do have some interesting habits.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix, while the grandparents get frustrated when their adult children don't know how to do basic homemaking and maintenance tasks. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach, which leads to a ton of conflict within families.

A Redditor recently asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating.

The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Baby boomers are a fascinating and endearing group.  Giphy  

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millennials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

You know the old saying: Is she really a grandma if she doesn't rinse out used plastic baggies to save for later?


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor An average boomer's basement.  Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash  

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"

It's true, generations have been battling over tone and punctuation in texts for years.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love to scare their adult children with dramatic texts.  Giphy  

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love to talk about random people who have died, and large-scale tragedies.  Giphy  

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

And, in general, they have more money and time to make it happen! But they often insist on being homebodies, to their own chagrin.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love staying at home for no good reason.  Giphy  

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor If it can't be held in their hand, they don't trust it.  Giphy  

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

This has to be one of the more endearing things the boomers do. Please never stop.

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

They also love to stock up on and freeze certain staples, even milk.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They'll keep food for way, way too long.  Giphy  

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

It's not the Gen Alpha kids keeping Bejewled in business!

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They still hold onto outdated gender stereotypes.  Photo by Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash  

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor This is the generation that invented TV as background noise.  Giphy  

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

There's nothing quite like the thrill a boomer gets from relentlessly tracking every movement of an oncoming storm that will probably amount to some rain and little else.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love intensely tracking a thunderstorm via The Weather Channel  Giphy  

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

It all makes you wonder what new conflicts will pop up when the millennials become grandparents, and the Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids are the ones doing the griping. Probably that millennials will continue to insist on Googling things when traditional search engines have long been replaced, or that the 90s and 2000s kids will never stop listening to Lil Jon-era hip hop, no matter how old they get and how inappropriate it becomes.

Guess we'll see. Stay tuned!

This story originally appeared in January. It has been updated.