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masculinity

Humor

A guy revealed the 12 simple things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

If it's not a dog, a buddy, a beer, and a cool stick, we don't want it.

Nolan Reid / TikTok
A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Minimalism is on the rise, not just in design and architecture, but in the way people live their lives. Having fewer things, sporting simpler styles, and enjoying the fundamental good things in life is cool now. Regular people who aren't influencers post fewer updates to social media. The world is just so loud and chaotic, more people are getting satisfaction out of just... chilling out and existing.

There's an old joke/meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple things.


@nolanreid7

It’s that simple #beer #mustache #muzzymade



People loved Nolan's list—so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love." The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us! The video was such a hit that Reid put out two sequels where he added things like skipping rocks, throwing a thumbs up in a photo, or making something from scratch. "A dog" seems to make an appearance in every single video, and for good reason: Dogs make guys happy!

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #muzzymade

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world—influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, and relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid: taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything. And I love that all the things listed are timeless. They were enjoyed by men, and all people, in the 50s, in the 90s, and they'll be enjoyed by people 50 years from now, too.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts

A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #men #happy #muzzymade

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life." And now, I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Fatherhood

Anthony Mackie explains his refreshingly old-school approach to raising his boys to be men

"In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male."

@thepivot/TikTok

Anthony Mackie explains how he raises his boys to become men.

While on an episode of The Pivot podcast, Marvel star and father to four sons Anthony Mackie recently took a strong stance regarding masculinity, saying: "In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male…but I raised my boys to become young men.”

While that sentence might at first seem like we’re heading into some cringey “alpha male” territory, the Captain America: Brave New World actor also elaborated on the values he instills in sons, like being respectful, having humility, saying “yes sir” or “yes ma'am” and “thank you,” opening the door for women, making sure their mother is "taken care of and provided for.”

Mackie then provided an example, saying that before leaving for a job, he would make his 15-year-old son the “man of the house,” with the responsibility of making sure the doors were locked and the alarm was on. Because, as Mackie put it, “if I’m not there to protect, he gotta be there to protect.”

This sentiment reflects a broader shift that many parents are experiencing. While there are certainly many praises to sing about modern practices like gentle parenting, many people are also longing for a return of some “traditional” approaches that are equally beneficial, particularly when it comes to setting helpful boundaries and teaching manners.

As one viewer put it, “That’s called structure, responsibility, accountability, and direction.”

But there’s also Mackie’s take on masculinity itself—involving caring for and protecting others, showing up for responsibilities, and embodying true leadership—which people are positively responding to.

leadership, raising sons, fathers and sons, young menMasculinity doesn't have to be toxic. Photo credit: Canva

Mackie's take t seems to touch on admirable traits that can go unnoticed by both far left progressives, who wave the flag of “toxic masculinity” (and thus alienate half the population), and the right wing "manfluencers" like Andrew Tate who offer a place for men to be welcomed while promoting actual toxic traits like misogyny, narcissism, and domination.

“That’s not the masculinity that needs to die. More fathers need to teach this,” one person wrote about Mackie's take.

Another echoed, “What a beautiful way to articulate being a man.”

As another viewer noted, parents can of course teach boys these traits while also teaching “emotional intelligence too—vulnerability, honesty, empathy, care. Then the boys will be golden.”

And just as we can incorporate both new and old parenting styles, we can also integrate some nuance in the way we talk about masculinity. Our conversations surrounding gender roles are constantly in flux, and yet there's a bit of stuckness around this topic—what makes a “real” man, how to be a “good” man, and so on. Mackie’s take put to words what a lot of folks are feeling: that the good parts of masculinity are being erased along with the bad, and that if we really do want the next generation of men to be fully realized, we need to teach them what that looks like.

Watch the full podcast episode below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Canva Photos

Alpha males share their cringe takes.

The 'manosphere' is a multi-million dollar industry. If you've never heard of it, you've probably heard of some of its major figureheads like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson. They profit by claiming to teach impressionable young men, and lonely older men, how to be alpha males so that they can attract more women, more success, and the respect and happiness they crave.

The advice usually starts out pretty innocuous. You've got to get in shape and get your life in order! But it quickly spirals into the deeply misogynistic and, from there, even the ludicrous.

Guys are sharing the worst 'alpha male' tips they've ever heard and, yeesh, are they painful to read. Most of these come from pretty extreme fringes of the men's movement, but the scary thing is that a lot of this stuff is really out there being recommended. Lucky for us, we get to laugh at how ridiculous it all is.

1. Real men don't eat salad / The all meat diet

meat, all meat diet, manly mealGiphy

Social media users on Reddit's r/AskMen subreddit sounded off in the thread:

"I once ordered a salad and water with some lemon and got razzed endlessly by the guys who were with me. Apparently, it was not a 'manly' meal. Joke’s on them, I was the only one among them that didn’t have a beer belly and probably artery disease."

"The number of guys who think it's unmanly to eat vegetables is insane."

It calls to mind Jordan Peterson's famous all-meat-and-only-meat diet. Never mind that eating outrageous amounts of meat is a great way to fast-track the destruction of the planet, almost all doctors and nutritionists agree that eating a diet of only or mostly meat is a horrible idea that deprives your body of many key nutrients. Too much meat can lead to high cholesterol and heart disease, among many other problems, including feeling absolutely horrible all the time.


2. Real men don't display love and affection for their partners

My father told me never say I love you to a woman and never buy a woman flowers. He's been divorced twice last time I talked to him.

Crying on your wedding day? Pathetic! The manfluencers would definitely have you believe that buying flowers, planning dates, or displaying any amount of sentimentality costs you crucial alpha points. Happy husbands everywhere would gladly disagree.

3. Sex with the woman on top / going down on a woman is not manly

So-called "alpha males" are supposed to sleep with tons of women, but only in an approved masculine manner. Being in any kind of sexually submissive position is, apparently, unmanly.

This one sparked plenty of jokes in the thread: "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman?"

4. Wiping your butt is gay

confusion, gag, dumbGiphy

Yes, sadly, this is a real one. It's a documented phenomenon. Women are complaining all across the Internet upon discovering that the men they're with refuse to wipe their butts because...wait for it...touching in between your own butt cheeks is gay, and using hygiene products (including toilet paper!) is feminine.

"That is apparently a newer trend among some of the Andrew Tate toxic 'alpha male' crew. A couple women have complained on other reddit subs about their partners no longer wiping or washing his butt. The general response is to tell him that they didn't marry a toddler and he needs to wipe his ass or leave."

5. Carrying an umbrella or wearing a coat is girly

Men vs umbrellas. It's an ongoing war as old as time itself.

“Umbrellas are for protection,” an expert told Buzzfeed. “Men often interpret protection from the weather as a subtle sign of weakness. Social norms dictate that men shouldn’t be afraid of getting wet, should embrace the elements, and don’t need protection. As antiquated as this may sound, it still rings true for many men. ‘Real men don’t need an umbrella, because real men aren’t afraid of the rain.’”

Same goes for jackets and coats:

"Also, the whole 'men don’t need a jacket/coat/feel the cold.'Like DUDE it’s literally snowing and you’re shaking. Take my jacket you’re being sad rn"


6. Real men don't wear purple/pink

"My ex father in law told me 'real men don't wear purple.' It was a f*cking throwback Randy Moss jersey."

An oldie but a goodie: Real alphas don't wear girly colors! Only problem is, there's nothing inherently feminine about pink, purple, yellow, or any color, really. And that's not just lip service: Pink even used to be known as primarily a masculine color, so maybe we're the ones who have it backwards.


7. Alpha males don't cook

gif, cook, Gordon RamseyGiphy

"Men shouldn’t cook! …. I mean men don’t eat? So why shouldn’t they cook?"

"It's weird. When I tell people I do most of the cooking at home, I get weird faces and comments"

"[It's OK] to cook and get payed for it but if you do it for free for yourself or your family it’s weird."

This is a weird one, because outside of needing to occasionally cook for yourself so you, you know, don't die of starvation — many of the world's greatest and most successful chefs are men. Guess they're all beta losers!

8. Alpha males don't wash their hands, care about their appearance, or tend to basic hygiene

We've already learned the unfortunate truth that some men are too fragile in their heterosexuality to wipe their butt, but the problem sadly and grossly extends even further.

"Every time I go to the bathroom I reckon about a third of men actually wash their hands and half of that use soap"

Maybe it's because they're being told by segments of the manosphere that wanting to be clean or, God forbid, smell good, is girly and beta behavior.


9. Real men save up their magical semen

The manosphere has all kinds of ridiculous notions about male reproductive fluid, including that it can cure women's depression and that they can get addicted to it. Really! They also say it contains a man's life force and must be cherished at all costs.

"Most proponents of semen retention also say it gives them more confidence and self-control, less anxiety and depression, increased motivation, better memory, concentration and improved cognitive function," say the experts at Healthy Male. "Again, there is no evidence to support these claims."

For the record, there really is no such thing as "alpha males" in humans.

The term is loosely based on a problematic and recanted study involving the social hierarchies of wolves. Even in some primate species, where alphas do exist, it's rarely based on which one is the biggest or strongest alone. Humans are more complicated still. There are traits in men that are correlated with "social dominance," like being tall, having a deep voice, or sporting a handsome face. But there really is no one type of male person that is better or more desirable than another, and there is no exact set of behaviors that can be adopted to guarantee all the riches life has to offer. Even if there was, I'd be willing to bet that "not wiping your butt," would not be one of them.

When a woman acts like she knows a man it's a clear signal

Most women, at one point or another, have felt some wariness or fear over a strange man in public. Sometimes it's overt, sometimes it's subtle, but when your instincts tell you something isn't right and you're potentially in danger, you listen.

It's an unfortunate reality, but reality nonetheless. A Twitter thread starting with some advice on helping women out is highlighting how real this is for many of us. User @mxrixm_nk wrote: "If a girl suddenly acts as if she knows you in public and acts like you're friends, go along w[ith] it. She could be in danger."

Other women chimed in with their own personal stories of either being the girl approaching a stranger or being the stranger approached by a girl to fend off a situation with a creepy dude.

One wrote, "A girl did this FOR me one time when I was sitting alone at a bar because she could tell I was in a very uncomfortable situation and I'll never forget her. It was bld of her to do that for a stranger but she literally saved me from some creep ass guy."

Another added, "I had a waitress do this for me once when an ex was yelling at me. She didn't leave me out of her sight and when he went to the bathroom she asked if I was ok and if I had roommates or if I was going to be alone with him after. An actual angel."

Another shared how a woman joined her and her husband as if they were old friends until her friends arrived.

good men, women, men, stalkers, harassment, adviceA man holds a woman's hand while another man watcheswww.flickr.com

"A woman walked up to my husband and I saying 'I haven't seen you guys in so long!!' then hugged us. We were ???, but went w/ it. She then pointed out a group of guys that followed her in, and the one that wouldn't leave her alone. He kept getting drinks right near us. Which was odd because we were in the corner out of the way. She hung out w/ us until her other friends got there. Once we realized what had actually happened we were a little shocked."

User "AmberLUVV" shared a story of being in a Dominican Republic port on a cruise when two girls pretended to belong to her family.

"When I went on a cruise with the fam, we ported in DR for a day. My dad and I decided to go the local shopping market. We had took a break on a bench cuz it was HOT! But all of sudden two girls walk up to us and addressed my dad as their own, and proceeded to say that they had And scared! We played it out for a minute longer until they told us what happened! Some men in a van were following them promising to take them to the beach and wouldn't leave them alone! They pointed out one of the guys and I had seen him turn away when they addressed my dad!"


"Raeloe" shared how a girl approached her at a nightclub to get away from a creepy guy when she'd been separated from her friends.

"I had this happen in a nightclub once. My hubby and I were working PAX and this club let's [sic] the enforcers in for free with their badges, I've never been before so he said c'mon let's go. Bout 2 hours in this girl comes up and dances with me and asks if it's okay to stay awhile. She lost her friends and this dude was creeping on her. I told her to take all the time she needs to find her friends. She came back with them later and gave me a big hug for making her feel safe. Would do it again without hesitation."


Another person shared how they'd been the one who needed help.

"Been the person who needed this. Creepy dude wouldn't leave me tf alone, so I walked over to a group of girls and acted very excited to see them again. They immediately caught on and we started talking about whatever. For over an hour. Bcuz he wouldn't leave. They ended up giving me a ride around town bcuz the creeper was following. Made some friends and we made him run a red light, which had a cop chasing him. They got me home and we hung out regularly after that."

And another explained how grateful she was to a woman on the bus who let her act like they were best friends.

One person even shared a video showing exactly what such a scenario looks like in real life.


Some people responded with various "what if" scenarios, like what if a woman is really trying to lure them into a dangerous situation, or what if they want them to accompany them somewhere that might not be safe? But those questions seemed to miss the point that no one was suggesting anyone go anywhere private with anyone, and also seemed to miss how often women actually do find themselves in situations where they need to turn to a stranger for help.

As one woman wrote, "All the people fighting this saying it'll be a setup are underestimating how often women actually do this to get away from creepy men. I've had to do this at a bar and I've also gone up to a women I saw distressed and pretended to be her friend and she played along. It happens."

men helping women, harassment, danger, women, men Most men want to be helpful to women and this is a great way to do thatPhoto by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash

"I've yelled back. I've thrown drinks in guys faces. I've pushed them away from myself and others. I've reached out for help and asked other guys or security to step in. Sometimes the path of least resistance for a good night is to blend in real quick."

And others pointed out that women don't generally approach men for help unless they feel like they really need to—usually because they end up in situations where men don't respond to the word "no."

Finally, someone suggested a tip for using your phone to ask a girl if she's in danger while pretending to show her a picture, so you both can be clear on what's really happening.

But the bottom line is, if a girl or woman walks up to you and pretends to know you, more often than not it's because she's trying to get away from someone. Play along and accompany her until she's safe. Guaranteed she'll be eternally grateful.

This article originally appeared five years ago.