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grief

Thích Nhật in 2014.

There are times when it seems no words can soothe the sadness following the death of a loved one. Whether you're a child just discovering grief or a fully grown adult with years of trials and tribulations behind you, grief can sneak up and feel insurmountable.

Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh was a spiritual leader and Zen philosopher, whom many referred to as "the father of mindfulness." Coining the idea of "Engaged Buddhism," his aim was to turn the concept of reflection into action.

From Harvard.edu: "Some observers may associate Buddhism, and especially Buddhist meditation, with turning inward away from the world. However, many argue that the Buddhist tradition, with its emphasis on seeing clearly into the nature of suffering and, thus, cultivating compassion, has a strong impetus for active involvement in the world’s struggles. This activist stream of Buddhism came to be called 'Engaged Buddhism'—Buddhism energetically engaged with social concerns."

 Buddha, Buddha statue, Plum Village, Engaged Buddhism, Th\u00edch Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain.  Photo by abhijeet gourav on Unsplash  

Hạnh spent the entirety of his life meditating on and writing about nonviolent conflict resolution, love, death, compassion, and mindfulness—and then urging people around the world to take action to make impactful change. He connected people of all faiths through his writing, teaching engagements, and the founding of the Plum Village Monastery in the Dordogne, southern France near the city of Bordeaux. In all he did, Hạnh worked with the intent to encourage people to seek both inner and outer peace.

Proving he was also a powerful poet, in an Instagram reel making the rounds, Hạnh was once asked by a child how she can "stop being sad." In the video she says, "I had a doggy. And this doggy died and I was very sad." She turns to him, "So I don't know how to be not so sad." Gently, he responds, "Suppose you look up into the sky and you see a beautiful cloud. And you like the cloud so much."

The child looks at him intently, her eyes welling up with tears. He continues, "And suddenly the cloud is no longer there. And you think that the cloud has passed away. Where is my beloved cloud now? So if you have time to reflect, to look, you see that the cloud has not died. It has not passed away. The cloud has become the rain. And when you look at the rain, you see your cloud."

Her eyes remain bright with curiosity, as he says, "And when you drink your tea, mindfully, you can see the rain in your tea and you can see your cloud in your tea. And you can say, 'Hello, my cloud. I know you have not died. You are still alive in a new form.' So the doggy is the same. And if you look very deeply, you can see doggy in its new form."

The girl starts laughing and crying in what seems to be a very pure moment of understanding. "You are still alive in a new form" seemed to help transform her thoughts on change and death in just minutes.

Aubert Bastiat (@aubertbastiat) posted the Instagram clip, which is a snippet from the documentary Walk with Me about Thích Nhất Hạnh's teachings. Bastiat comments, in his own words, "Love doesn’t vanish, it simply transforms." This concept is backed up in much of Hanh's work, including his book, No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life, in which he wrote, "Birth and death are only a door through which we go in and out. Birth and death are only a game of hide-and-seek. So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye. Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before."

  Thích Nhất Hạnh, Buddhism, death, Buddhist monk  www.youtube.com, Plum Village  

And just under the first comment on the reel, the director of the documentary, Marc J. Francis, writes, "I shot this for my film Walk With Me…. Love seeing this scene being shared."

Something about the deep need to make sense of death spawned many vulnerable comments. People shared their heartfelt stories—from those who have lost someone recently to those who are sick and facing their own mortality.

And of Thích Nhất Hạnh himself, a commenter simply writes, "One of my life’s best teachers."

by.erikahernandez/GoFundMe

After Erika Hernandez's son Jovan passed away, his best friend Mali kept visiting her.

One of the most painful consequences of grief is the loss of community. People fall away, lose touch, and become strangers with those who once were close.

But when Erika Hernandez lost her son Jovan in 2023 to gun violence, his best friend Mali never failed in supporting her and keeping Jovan's memory alive through their friendship. Now, a year and a half after his passing, Mali has created a tradition with Hernandez: The two get together every Wednesday night to watch the TV show The Equalizer with Mali bringing along dinner and his girlfriend.

In a new TikTok video shared by Hernandez (@by.erikahernandez), she shared the special routine the two share every week together. "My son's bestie shows up every Wednesday evening with dinner and his girlfriend to watch The Equalizer. My son passed away a year and a half ago," she wrote in the video's caption.

@by.erikahernandez

He’s been begging for a set of house keys. 😂 #momsoftiktok

In the video, Hernandez films Mali and his girlfriend eating at a table together. Mali makes himself at home, hanging in the kitchen and then grabbing the remote to put on their show. In the caption, she added, "He's been begging for a set of house keys 😂."

In an interview with PEOPLE, Hernandez shared that Mali and Jovan had been close friends for seven years before his passing. "Their friendship ran deep. They had this dream of naming their future sons after each other so their kids could be friends, too," she shared. "Even when life got busy, they made sure to stay close, meeting at our neighborhood country club to catch up and talk about life. Those two were a handful, but their shared passion and drive to push each other forward made it feel like they were long-lost brothers."

@by.erikahernandez

Homework? He’s done his homework at my home and has had proof read his papers. The nerve! 🙄🥴😂 Enjoy Pt. 4. #momsoftiktok

After Jovan's unexpected passing, Mali continued to stop by the family's home. "After Jovan passed, Mali would randomly show up almost every day—no heads-up, no text, just there," Hernandez said. "I could be on a work Zoom call, and there he was outside the window, being his usual silly self, trying to get my attention. It got to the point where I'd text him, and instead of replying, he'd walk right in."

Mali started to come by on evenings when Hernandez would watch The Equalizer, and it became a new tradition to watch together. "He sat down, watched with me, and got totally hooked," Hernandez added. "Afterward, I mentioned that the earlier seasons were on Netflix and told him if he wanted to watch, he could come over—but he had to bring pizza."

The weekly ritual has been healing for both of them. "Some people say his visits are a promise he made to Jovan — to watch over me if something ever happened to him — and that could very well be true," Hernandez told PEOPLE. "What I truly believe is that I'm the only tangible connection Mali still has to my son. And as long as Mali wants me in his life, I'll always be here for him."

Mali's consistent visits touched her TikTok viewers, who shared their thoughts in the comments:

"Ma'am, your son left you a son 🥺"

"this is my first time seeing a parent getting adopted."

"they say grief is just love with no where to go. I’m so happy that you all have a way to express that. keep spreading the love because I know Jovan is smiling ear to ear every Wednesday ❤️🩹."

"I think it heals him as much as it heals you 🥰."

Many called for Mali to get a house key for her place, and home improvement store Lowe's commented: "We know where you can get him one 👀." Hernandez indeed delivered for her "bonus son," and created a key for him.

Adam Trunell

The Goodbye Line project

There are times when we want to say goodbye to a person, a concept, a city, an inner child, or even just an idea, but, for whatever reason, that opportunity has passed. Maybe the recipient is unavailable and what's left is a void that leaves our well-wishes with no real place to land.

Documentary filmmaker Adam Trunell and his partner Alexis Wood wanted to help fill that void by not only giving a creative outlet to help people bid adieu, but to create a sense of community by sharing it with people online. We all experience loss, heartbreak, grief—and this seemed like a way to strip down to our most vulnerable memories, perhaps the ones that got snagged somewhere, in order to process them so that we can let them go.

One of the reels on The Goodbye Line TikTok page (@thegoodbyeline) simply states: "The void calls. We answer." And that's exactly how it works. From any payphone (or cell phone, if one wishes), a person can call a toll-free number. A recording answers to welcome them to "The Goodbye Line," explaining, "This payphone, like us, is here now but won't be forever." From there, one is encouraged to leave a goodbye, fleeting thought, or poem—whatever they need to get off their hearts. If they want to opt out of having their stories shared on social media, they just have to say so in the call.

@thegoodbyeline

The void calls. We answer.


Upworthy spoke with Adam and Alexis about how this unique art/social project sparked. Adam shares, "It came out of a rainy day conversation about loss and community, and we sort of walked backwards into an idea. We designed a sticker, put it up on some of the remaining payphones around LA, and couldn’t say whether we’d get a single call. They come in now all day, every day, and run the full spectrum of goodbyes. There’s no single type of goodbye, but every message is an attempt to pin something down before it disappears completely. And a reminder that loss, in all its forms, connects us."

The line doesn't speak back, he tells us. "The line just listens. It doesn’t judge, doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t try to make things OK. It just takes what you give it, without question, and holds it. And sometimes that’s enough.”

What's even more impactful is the community of people who listen to these goodbyes. "The fact people show up and listen, and follow, and comment and share, tells us that grief isn’t just about loss. It’s about connection. And mourning isn’t just something we do in private — it’s also deeply communal. So that even if we aren’t the ones speaking, we can hear ourselves in other people's messages.”

Alexis adds that because there are so many different versions of "loss," the calls range in tone. "A lot of the calls are about losing someone who’s passed, but there are just as many about losing relationships or friendships with people who are still alive. And honestly, I don’t think we talk about that kind of loss enough.”

She explains how the payphones themselves have become a character in the art piece. "There’s something raw and immediate about stumbling on a payphone out in the world—it catches people off guard, and that moment feels different than someone who finds us through Instagram and comes in with a bit more context. What’s even more fascinating is how each payphone seems to absorb the energy of its neighborhood. They take on their own personalities—what gets said, who picks up the phone—it all shifts depending on where they are. The calls start to reflect the place, and that’s been one of the most powerful parts of this whole thing.”

payphone, phone, landline, the goodbye line, phone calls, closureThe Goodbye Line Payphone project Photo credited to Adam Trunell

Adam acknowledges how complex letting go can be. "There are some things we never get to say, and that doesn’t just disappear. Loss doesn’t have an expiration date. Some goodbyes take years to find a voice. And when they do, for a moment, even saying a name can restore a presence. You hear it in the messages; sometimes people pick up the phone and don’t know what they’re holding onto until they say it out loud.”

Family

After son's tragic fentanyl death 2 years ago, this dad gave emotional speech on grief

"While the weight of grief can sometimes feel unbearable, I made the decision today not to stay in bed, but to show up."

equiteaco/Instagram

Quentin Vennie gives emotional speech on anniversary of son's death.

The loss of a child is an unimaginable pain. Parents who outlive their children live with a deep grief that often settles in the questioning of why they didn't 'go' first. Hard days are a given, especially the anniversary of a passing.

For tea shop owner and entrepreneur Quentin Vennie (@quentinvennie) that day recently came on April 13, 2025. In a moving video shared on Instagram, Vennie shared in a speech at his shop The Equitea Co. in Baltimore, Maryland, that it was the second anniversary of his son Christian's passing due to accidental fentanyl consumption.

Rather than stay in bed all day grieving, he found himself at his shop surrounded by supportive friends and community. "Today marks 2 years since my son Christian passed away 💔🕊️," he wrote in the post's caption. "There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about him. And while the weight of grief can sometimes feel unbearable, I made the decision today not to stay in bed, but to show up—with love, for the people who continue to show love to us."

Vennie can be standing up behind the counter of his shop as he begins to give a speech to his customers. "I'm sure nobody knows this, but two years ago today I lost my son. He was 17. He accidentally consumed fentanyl," he says as he starts to become overwhelmed with emotion.

He continues, "I just want to share my humblest gratitude and appreciation for everybody here right now, because ordinarily on this day I'd probably be home grieving. And instead I'm here making matcha for everybody," he says, as people in the shop begin to cheer him on and give him encouragement.

He ends his speech with more words of gratitude. "I'm truly humbled by the love and support that you all show and continue to show, and how you continue to show up. This is a hard day for me and my family. And you all are the only reason I got out of bed this morning. So thank you so much," he says as he begins to cry with his head in his hands.

The shop erupts in applause. As the camera pans to the crowd, many people can be seen wiping away tears.

In the post's caption, Vennie shared more about the loss of Christian and how a day doesn't go by where he doesn't think of him. "Every day, I do this for Baltimore. But today, I did it for Christian. I love you, baby boy and I miss you more than I can express," he wrote. "Thank you to everyone who continues to support our journey. Your presence means more than you know 🙏🏾."

The emotional video got a resounding response from viewers. "A loud reminder to be kind because you don’t know what someone had to push through to show up today. Love and light to this family ❤️," one wrote. Another shared, "Your candor is so pure. Next time I'm in town, straight to this spot. Thank you for your honesty." And another viewer added, "You are a Superman and an incredible father! Give yourself the grace to grieve and be Clark Kent! We love you brother!"