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Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their 21 biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Great ideas for people of any age.

via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

- YouTube www.youtube.com



They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

hearing, millennials, regrets, millennial lessons, millennial regrets, loud music, headphones A big millennial regret is not taking care of their hearingImage via Canva

1. "Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2. "Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

millennial advice, work life balance, regrets, millennial regrets, work Millennials wish they had learned about work/life balance soonerImage via Canva

3. "Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. "Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

millennials, smoking, cigarettes, quitting smoking, millennial regrets, millennial advice Millennials smoke less than previous generations but it's still a big regret for manyImage via Canva

5. "Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6. "Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7. "I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

- YouTube www.youtube.com

8. "Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9. "I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10. "I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

millennials, millennial regrets, millennial advice, indecision, life choices Indecision can be a bigger regret than making the wrong decisionImage via Canva

11. "I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12. "Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

How To Save $10,000 FAST www.youtube.com

13. "I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14. "If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15. "Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

sunscreen, skin cancer, millennials, millennial regrets, millennial advice Millennials were the first generation to really adopt wearing sunscreenImage via Canva

16. "Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17. "Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses."

18. "When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19. "I imagine these are kinda universal: Not getting fit and healthyAssuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goalsAssuming higher education would help me achieve my goalsSpending far too long caring what people thinkNot taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to loseStaying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

millennials, finance, fair pay, salary, millennial advice, financial advice, millennial regrets Learning to ask for fair pay was a big challenge for most Millennials Image via Canva

20. "Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply


21. "Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Dad who grew up poor perfectly explains why it’s so hard to shake the poverty mindset

Even when you're doing well, the mindset never seems to go away.

via Blake Kasemeier, used with permission.

Blake Kasemeier and his children.

A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.

Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up, and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series Good Grief and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.

The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.

Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way."

The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.

“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”

"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like home."

The post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram.

"I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," one commenter wrote.

"Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," another added.

Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”

Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.

“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”

The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, "found a way.”

“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier said. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing poverty, check out these resources to get connected with organizations and support.


This article originally appeared last year.

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People say these 20 outdated financial myths could be hurting you in today's economy

"'That commodity prices, like gas and eggs, are controlled by the president.' False."

Photo credit: Canva

Credit is still wildly misunderstood.

The economy has changed a lot since we all took our high school Economics class. And it is certainly miles away from what our parents grew up with. And yet, many still hold on to certain money beliefs that come from these bygone eras. Or frankly, ones that never had a right to exist in the first place.

And honestly, there’s so much conflicting information out there (about all things, really, but we’ll stick to finances for the sake of the conversation) that it’s no wonder that so many people might just stick with what they know, even if certain money truisms aren’t all that true, and even they aren’t actually helping.

Recently, someone flat out asked, “What’s the biggest financial myth people still believe that’s actually hurting them in today’s economy?" Below are some of the most illuminating answers.

Right off the bat, we have some politically fueled myths to debunk:

1. "'That commodity prices, like gas and eggs, are controlled by the president.' False. They're actually priced on a trade market, bought and sold, with production controlled by large corporations."

2. "That immigrants are taking our jobs! Like seriously. If every immigrant, legal or otherwise, disappeared tomorrow, it wouldn't do a single positive thing for me personally, much less the broader economy."

"People are so ignorant about this. The trades would be hurting horribly if this happened,” one person replied.

Next up were long running myths that were also deeply entwined with our collective relationship to hustle culture.

Photo credit: Canva

3. "That hard work will lead to wealth. This simply is not correct for the vast majority of workers (read: anyone not C-level). The truth is that the US is a shareholder economy, not a labor economy. This means that even if someone is getting regular raises, they're likely barely keeping ahead of inflation."

4. "That your employer will be there for you when times are bad. Build and keep a savings. You are a liability to them, not an asset, and will ditch you the moment they can profit from it."

"^This. Always remember this,” someone replied. “You are a cog in the machine and if they can find a cheaper cog, they will. Oh, and HR is not your friend.”

Then there were the strategies many people implement in hopes to save money, which actually end up costing them in the long run, whether that’s with groceries or with housing.

Photo credit: Canva

5. "Dollar stores are generally a worse food value based on size/quantity. Sure, it's $1, but the $2.25 box at the grocery store has 500% more food by weight, therefore, is a much better value. You're paying a little less to get a lot less."

"If anyone didn't know, US grocery stores almost always put a price per unit on the price sticker (i.e., $1.23/lb or $0.0865/oz). You should be looking at these when comparing prices for exactly this reason," one person wrote.

6. "That cheapening out on your laundry doesn't impact your clothes' lifetime. You can vastly improve the life and sustained quality of your clothes by not throwing everything in the wash together. Also, most better quality laundry detergents need less to clean better, so spending a little more on a decent brand will give you better returns. I have also found they wash out better, too."

7. "'Paying rent is like throwing your money away.' The truth is renting is a better financial move than buying in a lot of markets where home prices are too high."

And yet, certain things that could definitely add value…people are afraid of, it seems.

Photo credit: Canva

8. "Not investing back into yourself. Investing doesn't always have to be some major cash return. It could be education, making your life easier so you have more time and energy, or simply relaxing. I know a lot of people who played the frugal game and are just now getting out in their 70s."

To this, someone replied, "I tell people that one of the best investments you can make early on in life is a top-tier mattress and office chair. The amount of money you'll save yourself on future medical bills is one of the best returns on investment you'll make in your life."

9. "'The stock market is just like gambling.' You are never going to accumulate enough money to retire without using the stock market. The market has always gone up in the long term. If it stops going up in the long term, society will be in pretty bad shape, and your money probably wouldn’t be worth anything anyway."

"'Time in the market beats timing the market.' The stock market can be gambling if you're into day trading and trying to achieve short-term gains. But if you're investing long term, then yes, it's a great tool for growing your wealth."

By and large, people seemed to think taxes were an elusive subject to most folks. And probably rightfully so. Along with credit cards, do any of us really ever get a basic education on this unless we actively seek it out?

Photo credit: Canva

10. "Turning down raises because 'it means a giant jump in my taxes.'"

"11. Understanding tax brackets (in the US) in general. Can't tell you how many times I heard mention that their raise/overtime/bonus will just be eaten up by taxes.Fine, I'll take your raise and pay the taxes. No one ever went broke paying taxes."

12. "People do not realize that a tax refund is their money to begin with and that they should have their deductions set up to break even or owe a little. A lot of people still think it's some kind of stimulus."

13. "That tax breaks for the wealthy will allow some of their wealth to 'trickle down' to us poors. Something is trickling down on us, but it's not money."

Speaking of credit cards, that was also a popular topic in the responses.

Photo credit: Canva

14. "Keeping a balance on your credit card DOES NOT improve your credit score. What it does do is get you comfortable having a balance on your credit card, which, when it likely gets out of control, is like napalm pouring down on your future financial hopes and dreams."

15. "Credit cards are great, but under no circumstance should you ever pay a penny of interest on your credit card. You absolutely need to pay off your entire credit card balance at the end of each month. Credit card debt is the last thing you want to have due to the ridiculous interest rates they charge."

16. "Credit cards are bad. If you use them right, you can actually come out ahead. Get a card with good cash-back rewards and use it for everything. I mean everything. If you can pay your rent, bills, and insurance with it, do it. If you can use it for work and they reimburse you, do it. Pay the balance off at the end of every month, and make sure you keep track of your ins and outs. It requires you to be responsible, but it's worth it."

There was also a lot of talk about how our mainstream views on success in general (what it looks like, how to actually achieve it, etc) are inherited myths.

Photo credit: Canva

17. "That you have the smallest of chances of becoming a billionaire. People don't understand the orders of magnitude difference between even a low-level multi-millionaire and a billionaire. At 100 million dollars, you're still 10 times closer to homelessness than you are to becoming a billionaire. Stop trying to get there. Stop voting for people and policies that promise you that opportunity. The only way these people achieve that wealth is through siphoning it away from everyone else."

"My wildly successful uncle came from true poverty and he's worth about $50 million. If you look at what it takes to get even there, it looks BARELY possible at best. He worked his ass off from his early teens, he's incredibly smart, he's incredibly good with money, AND he was lucky, and he's still only 5% of the way to a billion after a lifetime of work,"one person replied.

"18. That you need to spend big to look successful."

19. "That you deserve something you can’t afford because you work hard. Deserves has nothing to do with it."

Lastly, we have the myth of the savings account. More specifically, the myth of how helpful it really is.

20. "Just save money.' No. You need to do more. Most savings are not beating inflation. As a result your money is shrinking by doing that. One of the most insidious ways our money is effectively being stolen is just by having inflation make it worthless by the time you'll go to use it.The easiest thing I am aware of is to put it in an index fund that automatically reinvests. These are automatic funds that follow a set algorithm of stocks (an index) and do not have a human element in the decision making. They regularly outperform professionals. They typically do very well compared to inflation, and require zero maintenance."

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Mom's real world budgeting lesson goes viral after it leaves her kids feeling overwhelmed

"I just won't eat lunch. I'll just eat a big breakfast. I probably won't eat breakfast."

Ariel B.|TikTok

Mom does budgeting exercise with kids. They're stressed.

Kids, as much as we love them, they're like our little broke best friends. They seemingly always want something and have little to no concept on how much money things cost.

There are some parents that start explaining how finances and budgeting works at an early age so kids know what to expect. It also likely helps them understand that parents don't have an infinite amount of money to spend on unnecessary items. Ariel B. is a mom and content creator that created budgeting worksheets for her children to use to learn how to budget and uploaded the video to TikTok.

Let's just say, the kids were a bit stressed before they even finished the worksheet.

The mom of four gathered her children around the table with budgeting worksheets and a $3,000 imaginary budget, which is based off of a $15 minimum wage plus an additional $500. Ariel explained the average cost of rent in their area and instructed her kids to look up the average cost for utilities in an apartment.

"How long are you leaving your lights on," one of her daughters asks. To which Ariel responds, "well, all of our lights are on in here and you don't seem to mind."

At one point in the video, they're discussing a food budget when one of her children says he will eat take out daily. Reality quickly set in when Ariel encouraged them to crunch some numbers.

"That's too much money, actually," the younger daughter exclaims. "I just won't eat lunch. I'll just eat a big breakfast. I probably won't eat breakfast."

@the_arielb

Teaching my kids budgeting💰 FREE PDF 🔗 in bio ❤️

In another video, one of the children is appalled that they would be expected to pay first and last month's rent when moving into an apartment. The older daughter is simply flabbergasted at the lack of available money.

"I have nothing. I have no money at all. And I don't know what to do about it," the girl says. I cut all of my ones and I'm already on a bike. Like I don't know what to do. Like what else can I do?"

Oh, little ones, welcome to Adulting 101. These kids are likely thanking all of the stars in the sky that this was just an imaginary situation and not something they need to worry about for a long time.

@the_arielb

Teaching my kids budgeting, they only have $3,000 a month. 💰 FREE PDF 🔗 in bio ❤️

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