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Dad who grew up poor perfectly explains why it’s so hard to shake the poverty mindset

Even when you're doing well, the mindset never seems to go away.

via Blake Kasemeier, used with permission.

Blake Kasemeier and his children.

A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.

Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series “Good Grief” and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.

The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.

Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way."

The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.

“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”

"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like home

The post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram.

"I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," thewitchofportobell0 wrote.

"Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," Jakemerten added.

Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”

Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.

“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”

The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, found “a way.”

“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier told Upworthy. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”


This article originally appeared on 2.8.24

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NFL star Malcolm Jenkins is working to bridge the ethnic wealth gap by giving kids real money to invest

via Wikimedia Commons and Goalsetter

America's ethnic wealth gap is a multi-faceted problem that would take dramatic action, on multiple fronts, to overcome. One of the ways to help communities improve their economic well-being is through financial literacy.

Investopedia says there are five primary sources of financial education—families, high school, college, employers, and the military — and that education and household income are two of the biggest factors in predicting whether someone has a high level of financial literacy.

New Orleans Saints safety, two-time Super Bowl Champion, and social justice activist Malcolm Jenkins and The Malcolm Jenkins Foundation hope to help bridge the wealth gap by teaching students about investing at a young age.

"It's projected that by 2053 that African Americans will have on average a negative net worth, with Hispanics being right behind," Jenkins said according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. "How do we begin to chip away at that? The earlier you can get kids focused on saving money and investing and understanding how to make money, the better off you are."

So Jenkins and his foundation are giving $40 investment account deposits to 1,000 students in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Ohio, and Louisiana. The Ogontz Revitalization Corporation will donate an additional $10 per student, bringing the total to $50.

The accounts are run by Goalsetter, a Black-owned family banking, and financial literacy app.

The students will not be able to withdraw the funds until they are 18 but can add to them all they like. In addition to the ability to save and invest, the Goalsetter App offers an engaging way for kids to learn about money.

The app provides five years of financial literacy tools, kid-friendly educational games, and fun quizzes.

via Goalsetter

There's no better way to learn about a subject than by doing. Which, when it comes to finances, can be nearly impossible if you're underprivileged. These accounts give kids the ability to watch their financial seeds grow over the years and create a habit of saving that will hopefully last throughout their lifetimes.

"Malcolm is saying, 'I want you to know that this is for the long term. You're going to be saving for your future because you do have a future and it's a future that we're going to help to prepare you for,' " Tanya Van Court, founder, and chief executive of Goalsetter, said.

Jenkins believes that financial literacy shouldn't aim for stability but go the extra mile and focus on building wealth.

"I was always taught that if you work hard and that if you save your money that that creates financial freedom and financial stability, and that's not how it works," Jenkins told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

"That's not how you gain freedom. It comes through investing. It comes in making good decisions. It comes from estate planning. Life insurance," he continued. "All of these different financial tools that are out there to create wealth for people. It's really about creating that education as early as possible so you create the next generation of financially stable people."

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5 ways financial literacy could make your relationship better than ever.

Aside from politics and religion, what is more polarizing than money?

A 2013 survey found that money is the #1 cause of stress in a relationship.

More so than in-laws or whose turn it is to do the dishes. In fact, arguing about money is easily the top predictor of divorce. Yipes.

But, a deeper understanding of how money works can affect our lives in many surprising ways.

Ways that go beyond just making more of it and can change our relationships for the better.

Jeffrey Dew, Ph.D., a professor at Utah State University, told Upworthy, "Financial literacy is important because it can help inform couples about how to handle their money on a day-to-day basis as well as inform their long-term financial goals."

Well said, Professor Dew. Now, here are five things everyone needs to know about money.

1. Proper planning will lessen your financial stress immensely.

Ahhhh yes! The sweet, soothing touch of financial literacy.

No surprise here! No couple wants to go through the doldrums of financial stress. BUT if you’re smart about your expenses and budget accordingly, there’s peace of mind and, well, peace in general.

One way to start is by signing up for a financial app to help you budget. There are a lot of options out there that let you integrate all your accounts, provide forecasts, and fast-track the stress-relieving process to get you looking like that baby owl in no time. You and your partner can review your accounts, set savings goals, and watch your progress together!

2. Talking about money actually brings you closer together.

A romantic getaway. A candlelit dinner. Fixing your finances.

Yes, all of these can strengthen your relationship. Taking the time to assess your financial situation together not only gives you a clearer idea of where you stand, it reinforces a crucial relationship dynamic — teamwork! By figuring out each of your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to managing money, you can build a solid foundation for working together that you'll use again and again throughout your relationship.

Let's never argue about money again! GIF from "Saturday Night Live."

Teams don’t go splurging on stuff in secret. Teams look out for the well-being of one another and do what’s best for the whole.

3. Understanding your finances will help you predict the future.

Oooohh! I see a comprehensive financial plan in your future.

Well, kind of. For couples, a financial plan is probably the closest thing to a real crystal ball. I mean, it can help both of you figure out exactly where you want to be in five, 10, 20, or 50 years if you want to!

The perfect house? The perfect car? All of it (plus more) can be yours for the incredibly low price of putting in the work and creating a solid plan that makes sense and keeps you on the path toward your goals.

4. Creating a budget will actually save you more time in the long run.

Time is money, money is time, and so on and so on. GIF via Vortex Anomaly.

Breaking down your finances will take time. It’s just a question of how much.

If you put in the work early, you save yourself from all the unnecessary hours rummaging through paperwork and dealing with collectors later on. That’s time you can spend going out, watching "Game of Thrones," or even actually spending your money on experiences and creating memories together.

Which leads me to my last point...

5. You can still treat yo selves, you know.

Aziz knows what's up — style-wise and money-wise.

OK, so this is pretty money-related, but it’s not about having more of it. It’s about understanding that you should enjoy the fruits of your labor.

The trick is finding the middle ground so you can still splurge, just smarter. When you’re efficient with your funds, you can find ways to buy the things you want and maximize every single cent.

Now go call your significant other! Tell them you love them, and tell them you have a plan to ease all your money-related stress.

We did it! We did it! GIF from "Seinfeld."

(Just don’t do it in an "I won the lottery!" kind of way.)

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Financial literacy is too often a privilege of the wealthy. Justin Tuck is changing that.

It's not uncommon to hear about the financial struggles of former NFL players who, in spite of multimillion-dollar deals, are now living paycheck to paycheck.

It's easy to judge them, but that's ignoring a very real truth: Financial literacy is a privilege often afforded to the already wealthy, not the newly wealthy.

As Justin Tuck, retired Giants defensive end, told Reuters, "Look at the average NFL roster, and most players come from low-income families. They go from being 18-year-old kids with nothing to being 21-year-olds with millions of dollars. ... They get all this money all of a sudden, and they just don't know how to handle it."

Image via Heath Brandon/Flickr.

That kind of wealth isn't easy to manage, and when it happens in such a short period of time, at such a pivotal moment in the player's lives, it's too easy to lose control and wind up in dire financial straights.

That's part of the inspiration behind Tuck's R.U.S.H. for Literacy.

The solution to being poor isn't just to acquire more money; it's also to know how to manage and grow your money. So in 2008, Justin and his wife, Lauran, founded Tuck's R.U.S.H. for Literacy, an organization dedicated to addressing a number of issues, including financial literacy for low-income families.

R.U.S.H. stands for read, understand, succeed, and hope, and Justin and Lauran set out together to encourage those ideals by donating lots and lots of books — over 86,000 of them, in fact — to children who needed them. They wanted to help decrease summer learning loss, when kids lose a lot of the momentum gained throughout the school year.

Image via Ginny/Flickr.

But they noticed that encouraging regular literacy was only part of the equation when it came to keeping the kids motivated and invested in their academics. Financial literacy is also a huge factor. So they set out to equip students and their families with the skills, tools, and hope needed to thrive in school, college, and beyond.

Financial literacy is directly related to which kids pursue undergraduate degrees.

As explained in a 2010 Center for Social Development research brief by William Elliott III and Sandra Beverly, financial planning has a huge effect on college attendance:

"We assume that savings and wealth may have two effects on college attendance. The first effect is direct and mainly financial ... . The second effect is indirect and mainly attitudinal: If youth grow up knowing they have money to help pay for current and future schooling, they may have higher educational expectations."

Image via Tax Credits/Flickr.

The people behind R.U.S.H. noticed this link between having a college savings account and going to college. Lauran told Upworthy that in spite of efforts to even the playing field, "there were still barriers to college access. A lot of the kids — especially those that were at risk — were responding saying they still didn't think they were going to go to college. They said it's too expensive."

Seeing this problem, R.U.S.H. stepped in with a long-term solution.

Lauran and Justin partnered with a number of organizations and began seeding college savings accounts and raising matching funds. Megan Holston-Alexander, R.U.S.H.'s program director, shared that the initial "seed was $150,000, given at $100 per student. As of June 1, 2015, the accounts have risen another $40,794." And that amount will only continue to grow.

Lauran explained that the financial contributions have been supported by efforts to educate the families so that "parents and students understand why we're saving for college and so that parents understand that their money is going to be matched."

Image via Nazareth College/Flickr.

Justin emphasized to families that "if it's important to you, then you have to be prepared to sacrifice."

R.U.S.H. isn't making college free; it's planting the seed of hope and arming families with the information necessary to prepare for their children's futures.

As Lauran stated, "what keeps us going is the 'H' in the acronym, the 'Hope' piece of it. We want to provide for so many kids and families hope, where the opportunity gaps do exist. It's the hope that motivates us."

By giving parents the skills necessary to maintain financial health and enabling them to set up college-savings accounts for their kids, R.U.S.H. helps these communities to build a legacy of achievement. They're making it possible for the kids and their families to see and work toward goals that may have felt impossible. R.U.S.H. is making it possible to dream. But more importantly, it's making it possible to achieve.

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