This mom's teaching her kids the most important financial lessons they can learn.
When Nyna Sorn came to America, her family had nothing. So she's had to spend her life making tough financial decisions.
All photos courtesy of Upworthy.
When Nyna was only five years old, she and her parents escaped the Khmer Rouge — the brutal regime of the Communist Party of Kampuchea (CPK) in Cambodia. The family had lost everything, and that meant that they had to scrimp and save in order to get by in their new country of the United States.
When she grew up, Nyna made a promise to herself: she would work as hard as she could in order to ensure that her children didn't have a childhood like hers. She would do her very best to provide for them in ways that her parents couldn't provide for her. She would make sure that their future was bright and full of possibilities.
"My dream is to see all my children successful," Nyna says.
Nyna's tried to impart her perspectives on money and saving onto her children, but as her kids got older, she's become concerned about their spending habits.
Nyna and her daughter, Macara.
Nyna has been a single mom for the past decade. While her youngest child isn't yet old enough to learn about responsible spending, she's worked hard to teach her older children, who are 15 and 18, how to save money when they can.
However, she worries that they're being swayed by society's proclivity for instant gratification, and becoming too materialistic. She's especially concerned about her daughter Macara who, at 18, will soon be in charge of her own finances.
Nyna and Macara's situations are very different. At 17, Nyna was already a mother. She didn't have any financial support. That's why she feels it's important for Macara to understand the possible impacts of the money decisions she's making now. But while Macara appreciates everything her mother's done for her (including paying for college), she finds it difficult to focus on her finances.
"I don't want to think about it too deep," says Macara. "I don't want to be in the future. I want to be in the present. I don't want to be stressed out."
It's not easy to talk about money, but Nyna knows that being open and honest with her daughter is the only way to help her make smart decisions.
Sometimes Nyna feels like she's being too hard on Macara, but it's only because she wants her to have a bright future.
"I want you to be able to do better than I did," Macara tells her daughter. "I believe in you. I believe that if you wanted to do something, you can do it."
“I'm just trying to help you. I'm trying to pave a path."
These kinds of conversations may be tough, but they're necessary.
By sitting down and talking about money as more than an abstract concept, Nyna's showing her daughter that she's someone she can always talk to about her future, financial or otherwise.
"It's like a signal for me to do something," says Macara. "Can we keep having these conversations?"
"You need something, you can talk to me. I will always support you," Nyna responds.
To learn more and Nyna and Macara Sorn, check out the video below.
Openly discussing money is an important part of raising financially literate childrenThis mother-daughter conversation shows why it's important families talk about money, even if it's not always easy
Posted by Upworthy on Monday, December 3, 2018
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.