upworthy

college

Equality

People shared their experiences encountering insanely rich kids for the first time

"Her parents used to call her and check on her because she 'wasn't spending enough money.'"

Are they out of touch with reality or just living in a different one?

Most people grow up going to schools where people are of a similar social status. Lower-income people tend to grow up with people in the same situation and affluent people usually grow up around people who are rich as well. But things can change dramatically in college. People who are from completely different sides of the socioeconomic spectrum attend class together and sometimes wind up sharing the same dorm room.

One student can be there on a scholarship and have a part-time job to make ends meet. The other may be on a massive allowance from their parents who pay full tuition without batting an eye. What exacerbates the issue is that many people go through college dirt poor. If they have a job, it's often low-paying, they can't work many hours and they aren't old enough to have accumulated any wealth. According to the Lumina Foundation, a nonprofit based in Indianapolis dedicated to providing "opportunities for learning beyond high school" for all, 47% of today's college students don't have or rely on parental support, and of those students, one in four live below the poverty line.

The differences are stark. So stark that seeing one of your peers wasting other people's hard-earned money can be downright stupefying. It can also seem highly immoral for some to have so much and not appreciate it when others are struggling to get by.

College is also a time when people begin to learn about income inequality and why it exists.

college students, income, inequality, socioeconomic status, richIncome inequality becomes more obvious in college. Image via Canva.

In the summer of 2020, freelance journalist Jake Bittle started a fun conversation on Twitter where people shared stories of some of the insanely rich kids they knew in college. Many of the responses came from people who went to the University of Chicago.

Bittle's story started with seeing a girl open her laptop to reveal a ton of money in her bank account while they were taking a class on Marxism. The tweet inspired people to share stories of the insanely rich kids they met in college and how some of them were terribly wasteful with their money.

(Jake has since deleted his original tweet.)


shock, rich kids, college, students, socioeconomic spectrumDonald Glover Reaction GIFGiphy


facepalm, insanely rich kids, rich, college studentsJudge Judy No GIF by Agent M Loves GifsGiphy


One thing really becomes apparent when reading all of these Tweets: the severe lack of financial literacy among the college students in these anecdotes. According to EBSCO, over 40% of college students are "still not equipped with adequate financial literacy knowledge and skills." This also touches on the correlation between student debt and financial literacy. A 2024 study from Auburn University published by the Social Science Research Network (SSRN) notes that students with more than $100,000 in student debt especially lack "adequate financial understanding," exacerbating the student debt crisis.

student debt, student, finances, financial literary, rich, poorThe student debt crisis affects millions.

No matter what side of the socioeconomic spectrum these students hail from, it's well known that schools do not take the time to educate students on real-life skills like taxes, banking, budgeting, etc. before they head out into the world. Even if a student's affluent family hasn't wised them up to how money works in the real world, imagine how much better off everyone would be if we were required to take financial literacy courses before we hit adulthood?

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Education

In the U.S. more women than men graduate from college, by a lot. What does it mean?

People share their thoughts on the what's behind the higher education gender gap.

Women outpace men in college enrollment and graduation in the United States.

For much of human history, women faced societal and cultural obstacles to formal education. In some parts of the world, that’s still the case, but in the U.S., the barriers for women to enter and excel in higher education have all but disappeared. In fact, for decades, women have outpaced men in college enrollment and graduation rates.

That’s good news for gender equality, but now American colleges and universities are facing a different dilemma, as the data shows that gender gap is widening. According to government data for the year 2021-2022 shared in Forbes, women accounted for for 62.8% of associate degrees, 58.5% of bachelor’s degrees, 62.6% of master’s degrees and 57% of doctoral degrees—a solid majority across all post-secondary degrees at every level.

What does this mean? What's causing the growing disparity and what effect does it—or will it—have on society?

from AskMen

People shared their thoughts on these questions on Reddit and it's quite eye-opening. Here are various explanations for the gap:

Women tend to be more attentive and engaged students

Some teachers and professors shared their personal experiences with female students compared to male students, saying that women just tend to be "better" students in general.

"I work at a trade school for a very male dominated field and yet my female students are consistently my highest performers. They are typically the tops of their class, bring in more scholarships, and are the first to achieve certification by farrrrrr! They just typically seem more self motivated."

"I'm a professor at a community college and I teach a trade. From my experience the women just have it together better than the men do. They know how to study, they come prepared, they're organized, they pay attention, they are more mature, they know how to manage time and prioritize what's important."

Men and women are not equally incentivized to pursue higher education

Men have more options for well-paid work that doesn't require a college degree, including trades jobs that require greater upper body strength where men have an advantage. If women want to have financial independence, a college degree is their most promising path.

"A lot of younger dudes are told they can make more money not going to college. They are constantly hit with messaging about how the richest people in the world didn't go and so they don't have to. That they can be entrepreneurs or do get rich schemes with crypto, etc. They just see the amount of money they could make (which is complete speculation) vs the amount of money they will spend. Lastly, a lot of people have been told that college is a scam to get them into debt for the rest of their lives. Not to mention the whole military industrial complex that wants these men to go to the military instead of college so they do invade a lot of men's spaces like video games.

Meanwhile women have been pushing other women to go to college for a many reasons like it still being one of the best ways to boost your overall income. College was one of the many things kept away from women and so modern women will take advantage of their rights."

woman studyingWomen have more incentive to go to college.Photo credit: Canva

"For a woman to not be financially dependant on a man, she needs an education. Financial independence. For decades, women were locked in terrible marriages because they couldn't get jobs that they could live on. Low paying secretarial and teaching jobs (much like today) were the only things available so they had to stay in destructive marriages to survive. Men knew this, probably why up until the 1960's, women were not allowed to make contracts, wills, buy or sell property or get a credit card without her husband or father co-signing. Only 1.2% of women went to college. The social changes in the 1960's led to women outpacing men in college starting in the 1970's. Honestly, women saw the value of a college degree more than men did. Still do, probably. It is the only way they can live their lives without being dependant on men."

"Women’s salaries are enhanced by college to a much higher degree than men’s are. That’s partly because there’s seemingly a wider range of non-college jobs for men to go to and still earn a good salary. So some of what’s happening is an economic substitution effect where men are opting to do something equivalent."

The trades aren't as viable an option for women—and not just because of physical differences

The trades, unfortunately, are not always the safest avenue for women to take. Not to stereotype tradesmen, but anecdotal evidence about women's experiences highlight a genuine concern.

"I think women tend to go where other women are. Women can do plenty of a trades work that won't require a degree but can they do it and count on being safe at work? Construction workers have a reputation for harassing women, for example. It's just more of a necessity for women to get a degree and avoid manual labor alongside men. The kind of things you get away with in terms of how you interact with coworkers is much more controlled in an office environment.

A big reason I went to college was how people at my uncle's contracting company treated each other and me when I helped out in the summer. I just didn't like dealing with the constant grab assing and I know it would be even worse for a woman."

"My family besides my dad and one sister are all in trades work. Outside of a cousin who took over my uncle's auto shop all the women felt shit on in trades, everything from attempted assaults by coworkers and clients, to just dealing with misogynistic bullshit. They stick with it, but its a lot. I can see why, especially if you come from a working class family that was exposed to that, you'd be extra incentives to go to and stay in college.

"Yep. I graduated trade school for painting/plastering/flooring/tile. Was the top of the class. Got onto a crew at 19 and it was hell.... I couldn't even climb a ladder without sick/gross comments. I left and never went back. I ended up doing housekeeping for a decade and broke into property management."

Programs that encourage women to pursue degrees where they've traditionally been underrepresented

Certain fields, like STEM, were traditionally male-dominated, so programs to encourage and enable women to go into those fields have been created with success. There aren't really similar programs for men, despite the education gender gap.

"Professor here in a STEM field that was predominantly male students for decades, many of the more successful programs are now predominantly female students. Our program became predominantly female in 2012. We collect information about our students attending the program and placement thereafter. The reasons for that change were elementary and secondary education programs promoting STEM for female students and lower pay than other tech and engineering fields, as well as, trades. I don't see this changing any time soon."

women in a labPrograms for women in STEM have exploded in the past few decades.Photo credit: Canva

"There is no consensus on what causes this disparity or how to fix it. Potential root causes:

  • Grading: Teachers have been found to grade girls more generously than boys (Study 1, Study 2)
  • Teachers/Role Models: Teachers, especially for young boys, are overwhelmingly women (87% of elementary teachers are women)
  • Government Support: The Women's Bureau works to create parity for women in the workplace. Leading up to Title IX, this agency researched and developed policies to increase the number of women college graduates. There is no Men’s Bureau developing policies to increase the number of men graduating college.
  • Programs: There seemingly are many more programs promoting young women’s academic achievement than there are programs promoting young men’s academic achievement."

Boys and young men are being pushed ahead in school before they're ready

Some people pointed out that boys mature slower than girls, which may account for some of the disparity.

"Let me recommend Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. His key point is the (a) boys mature later than girls and so (b) 'redshirting' boys makes a lot of sense. So for example, if a 5 year old boy seems maybe not quite ready for kindergarten, then keep them home another year, let them begin at age 6.

Now fast forward to the last years of high school and into college, the issue becomes 'Peter Pan Syndrome,' boys/young men who don't want to grow up. I've seen that in my experience teaching college, it's not unusual for a '101' course to have one student who doesn't submit all the homework, skips classes, and so on, and in 20 years of teaching, it has always been men, not women. They flake out because of lack of maturity, and 13 years ago, maybe their parents should have just kept them home for one more year. Also, I've had men who did a military (including National Guard) term first, and they have told me that it helped them grow up."

"I was that guy in college. I muddled through for 3 years before dropping out. I just didn't have the discipline to do the work, my days were all spent drinking, smoking, and sleeping. I wish I had postponed college for a couple years and worked a real job first, I think I would have been more appreciative of the opportunity."

Boys and young men are being 'left behind'

Culturally, some are pointing out, there's a difference in how males and females are perceived as a group when they fall behind.

"There’s a lot of theories why guys tend to do more poorly than girls in school, and while some explain this as biological, most theories I’ve heard are cultural. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard moms or even some teachers saying how boys are being 'left behind' in academic settings. My own mom is a retired teacher and she would make comments about this stuff too (and she has a chip on her shoulder with males)."

boy studying, holding his head in his handsBoys tend to struggle with school more often, starting early on. Photo credit: Canva

""When girls on average fall behind in a subject, there is a push to figure out why and correct it. For example STEM subjects have been made increasingly accessible to women. But when boys fall behind in a subject, there isn’t the same push at all, it’s just blamed on them. Boys are being failed, and at the same time being blamed for it. It’s a crazy way to approach educating children."

"Men get told to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and figure stuff out themselves without any help. Meanwhile when women fall behind there's societal pushes to help them out. It's this lack of a more generalized outlook on who needs help that's part of the problem here."

There are surely many reasons for the gender gap in education, but whatever they are, the disparity has implications for the employment market and research in various fields. While exact gender parity in all things is unrealistic, large disparity isn't ideal and deserves some thoughtful consideration no matter who is being outpaced.

via Canva

A mother and her adult child.

Studies show that today, roughly 45% of people ages 18-29 live at home with their families, the highest number since the 1940s. The top reason these Gen Zers and young Millenials live at home is to save money (40%), while 30% say they can’t afford to live independently and 19% are recovering from emergency costs.

By comparison, in 1970, just 7% of adults ages 25 to 35 lived at home with their parents.

There are bound to be some struggles when young adults live at home as parents try to understand how to navigate life with their grown children. When you’re raising teenagers, it’s a lot easier to draw the line when it comes to house rules, but how should parents treat their kids when they are grown adults?

Mom and parent coach Kim Muench shared some practical advice recently on Instagram for parents who aren’t sure how to create healthy boundaries with their college-age kids. Muench is the mother of 5 adult children and coaches parents of adults to become the “clear, confident, and consistent guide that’s needed in this stage of parenting.”


In her video, Muench says parents need to give their children more freedom while expecting them to be more responsible.

“Your 20-year-old daughter, who's living at home, does not need a curfew. She does need to communicate whether or not she's going to be home that night,” Muench said in an Instagram video. “Your 24-year-old son needs to do his own laundry. He also needs to move it from the washer to the dryer and back to his room in a timely manner,” she continued.

She adds that parents should stop monitoring the daily activities of their adult children.

"Your college kid does not need to be tracked. Unless, it's part of an agreement that everyone in the family has, for safety purposes. You don't need to be counting the amount of alcohol or the number of beers in the refrigerator after your son has been home for the weekend. Your son does need to buy his own alcohol and drink responsibly."

Parents should also have open lines of communication with their adult children so everyone knows what’s expected of them. “If you're not coming to an agreement on what should be done or what is happening or not happening yet that's supposed to be happening, then you need to sit down together and talk about how you can solve the problem together,” she said.



Most of the younger commenters thought this was the exact message their parents needed to hear. “People will freakishly control their kids all their lives into their 20s and be confused as to why their children are still continuing to live at home. It's creating an unhealthy view of boundaries and fear of being on their own,” Ppris0nwifee wrote in the comments.

A young adult who lives with her parents praised Muench’s approach because it works in her home.

“My parents are this way with me and it makes living here and having a social life so easy with no conflict. I can go out whenever I feel like it for however long. I just have to communicate where i'm going and if I'll be back. other than that they mind their business, it makes living at home really easy,” Strangelydeceased wrote. “Props to the parents who have boundaries but let their adult children live like adults when living at home.”

Having a young adult in the house can be hard for parents because they have to break many of the habits they developed while parenting over the past 18-plus years. That’s why it’s great that parenting coaches like Muench are here to help them navigate this tricky stage of life in a way that supports both parent and child’s needs.

There can actually be some advantages to starting college later.

Recently a 31-year-old wondered if they were making a “stupid” decision for wanting to start college, and sought the opinions of strangers online.

In a post made to Reddit, they shared how they had been working retail and dealing with self esteem issues since they were 19, and felt like maybe, just maybe going to school could help them reach their full potential and give them a “purpose.”

However, they also shared that they currently lived with their parents, who warned them that college would be “wasting time and going into debt.” Hence the dilemma.


So this person asked the community, point blank: “Is this a bad decision?” and got a flood of support from well wishers and fellow later bloomers reminding him of the power of embracing second chances. It was a pretty amazing display of humanity for being a plethora of Reddit comments.

Many who had been in similar situations argued that the life experience gained will only help with this person’s studies.


“I’m in skool rn @ your age and it’s actually super easy, you’ll be surprised how things make much more sense with a bit of life experience under your belt. Good luck, you’ll have fun,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Same. I am 34 and started a little over a year ago. I think I am in a much much better position for it now! I am mature, and I am a lot more focused than 18 year old me would have been. It isn’t “easy” at any age. But you’ll be surprised at how much easier it will be than you think it will be now.”

“I graduated at 42. Feels great. Nice to have a lived life of variety and waited to really find my calling. There’s no ultimatum on improving yourself,” said another,

Even those who hadn’t experienced this personally could share stories of loved ones who had–and succeeded.

“My Dad got his university degree after he retired. He previously only had a Grade 8 education. I was proud of him and I’m proud of you OP,” one person wrote.

Another said, “My anecdotal story. My second year in college, a 30-year old man (who was divorced, and had two kids) enrolled as a freshman. They put him as a roommate with someone in the suite I was in. He had been a coal miner for 12 years are was tired of being "covered up", which was his term for being in three cave-ins. He was actually a really cool guy and despite being clearly older, fit in well. And, very long story short, I heard he just retired as the second-in-command in the state's department of energy. So, using his degree, he had a good career in energy policy that spanned over 30 years. So, my answer is no, you are not a loser.”

One person pointed out how starting from this clean slate, however late, might actually be easier than trying to pivot from a career that's already established.

“So many people are stuck in jobs or on career paths that just don't really suit them (me included). I find it all very disappointing, and deeply dissatisfying, and changing paths is honestly very difficult once you're in the daily grind and have responsibilities,” they wrote.

Still another reminded the OP that learning is an integral part of life, no matter what age you are.

“I have always kept learning, and still learn new things and new ways. After I graduated, I continued off and on to pick up new ways. When you quit learning, you might as well crawl in your casket. I'm older and continue, I do not want to get put in a care home and told to watch some insipid show. No, always continue learning. Good for you.”

And some simply came in to offer encouragement, like this person, who wrote, “I just want to chime in that you are absolutely crushing it in life. Throw everything you can into this. Truly rooting for you. I hope I read your ‘I did it’ story in five or so years.”

Tips for Going to College after 30

There can be many reasons for people 25, 30, 40, and beyond to pursue higher education—be it to boost employment prospects or just to continue being lifelong learners. Sure, it might be daunting, but the most worthwhile things usually are. Here are a few things that can help make that process a smoother one.

Make a solid plan

This is just about researching different schools and programs. Hone in on WHY you want a degree, what kinds of opportunities you hope will come from it, how much time you can commit, will you be going in-person or online, etc. A clearly defined, realistic plan that includes specific timelines, milestones, and even little rewards helps keep you on track and motivated.

And remember you don’t have to do this portion alone. There are often career guides that can help. Speaking of which…

Take Advantage of Student Support Services & Resources

Most colleges offer resources like financial aid advisors, academic advisors, tutoring, technical support, on-campus childcare centers, and writing and career centers that can be very helpful. It’s also worth noting that many programs that accept transfer credits or work credits, so that you can leverage on your previous life experience.

Stay organized

Odds are, you will be multitasking schoolwork along with various other adulting tasks. That’s why things like calendars, to-do apps, or even accountability groups are imperative. Plus, you’ll want to find which note taking system works best for you, because it’s definitely not a one-size-fits all approach.. Also, never underestimate the power of designated study space.

Manage stress

Nobody wants to burn out. It might seem impossible to eat well, exercise, get a good night’s sleep and find time to relax when you have so many demands, but even the smallest amounts of consistent self care will give you more energy to put out in the long run.

Commit and Celebrate!

Participate in class, ask questions, tell friends and family of your milestones. A) because you’ll be able to look back and really have memories, beyond just academic accomplishment and b) because you deserve it.