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Family

NICU nurse adopts teen mom after she delivered triplets alone

It was an understanding that only teen moms could share.

NICU nurse shares why she opened her home to teen with triplets.

Having your first baby is a scary experience. Everything is new—you've quite literally never done this before—not to mention an entire human is going to be removed from your body one way or another. Childbirth, no matter how your baby leaves your body, is not for the weak. But imagine giving birth alone to not just one baby, but three, all at the same time. Then imagine doing that feat at the age of 14.

Shariya Small experienced that scenario in a hospital in Indiana, and her nurse Katrina Mullen took note. Small's babies were premature, born at just 26 weeks, when the average gestation for triplets is 33 weeks, according to ReproductiveFacts.org. Due to their early birth, the babies, Serenitee, Samari, and Sarayah, had to stay in the NICU at Community Hospital North in Indianapolis for more than five months, according to Today.com.

During their time in the NICU, Mullen noticed the young mom visited her babies alone, not appearing to have much of a support system. “She’d be there alone for days at a time sitting at her babies’ bedside,” Mullen told Today.com.

The pair got to know each other over the months that the babies were in the hospital, but Small continued to be reluctant to open up about her family life. That changed after she found out that Mullen had her first child at 16 and had given it up for adoption. Their experiences bonded the two moms, and Mullen began helping to care for the babies and Small by giving her advice and showing her how to care for the infants properly.

Eventually, Mullen gave Small her phone number before the babies were discharged from the hospital. It quickly became apparent that Small did not have a support system, as she called Mullen often asking for advice. Out of concern, the nurse went to visit Small an hour away, where she was living with a family member.

The condition of the home was concerning enough, but Mullen became even more worried when she saw how thin Small's son Samari was. It turns out he had to be admitted to the hospital, which prompted a visit from Child Protective Services, who determined that Small and her three infants would need to enter foster care. She gave the social worker Mullen's information and things began to fall into place.

Listen to Small and Mullen explain their unique story below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


The triplets in April 2023.


shariya small, triplets, adopted children, kids eating burgers, today show, gofundme Shariya and the triplets.via Katrina Mullen/GoFundMe


Shariya and the triplets in 2024.


shariya small, triplets, adopted children, today show, gofundme Shariya and the triplets.via Katrina Mullen/GoFundMe

Since this story was published in 2023, things have gone well for the family of nine. After the story gained national media attention, a GoFundMe was started to help the family and raised over $140,000. Shariya is now 18 and completed her first year of college, Katrina was able to buy a house, and her boys' high school football team won the state championship. "We are so blessed," Katrina wrote on the GoFundMe page. "Thank you all for your kind words supporting our family. Every day is an adventure."

This article originally appeared two years ago and has been updated.

Education & Information

Professor's hilariously exasperated message to students illustrates how teachers are so done

"I will then promptly print 100 copies of the assignment out, put them in a pile, light that pile on fire, and dance around the rubble as it burns. I will then put my hand on the smoldering embers so that I may feel again. Feel what, you might ask? Anything. Literally anything."

Photo by Vanessa Garcia from Pexels

A professor's message to students has gone viral.

If you know any teachers, you probably know how utterly exhausted they all are, from preschools all the way up through college. Pandemic schooling has been rough, to say the least, and teachers have borne the brunt of the impact it's had on students.

Most teachers I've known have bent over backwards to help students succeed during this time, taking kids' mental and emotional health into consideration and extending the flexibility and grace we all could use. But teachers have their own mental and emotional needs, too, and at some point, something's gotta give.

A college student posted screenshots of a professor's message on X (formerly Twitter) with the comment "someone PLEASE check on my professor." It's simply incredible.

The message reads:

"There is no class tomorrow. I've got some things to take care of regarding this and my other class, and my full time job. I have received countless emails about zeroes on assignments either through errors I've made, you've made, or simply people not realizing or knowing they were supposed to turn it in and then realizing in panic they received a zero on it for (surprise), not turning it in. It seems that giving you a free assignment so long as you turn SOMETHING in created far more chaos than good will. Apologies. That's on me. And you. But also me. But also you."

Then it went on…

The professor gave a bulleted list of instructions for what clearly sounds like a very simple, easy assignment designed to give students an opportunity to boost their grades:

  • Submit it. I've extended the deadline until tomorrow before Midnight.
  • If you do NOT turn it in before then. I'm sorry. It's a zero. No excuses at this point and frankly, I regret ever trying to make this assignment easier because it's created more problems at this point.
  • I will look at these, do not do something stupid like type 'b' or 'i did it'. I will become enraged and bitch about you for exactly 15 seconds to anyone within my proximity who will listen. I will not hold back.
  • After I receive these, I will give you full credit (pending the above prerequisites). I will then promptly print 100 copies of the assignment out, put them in a pile, light that pile on fire, and dance around the rubble as it burns. I will then put my hand on the smoldering embers so that I may feel again. Feel what, you might ask? Anything. Literally anything.
  • I will then sleep like a baby, having put this nightmare behind me.

Absolutely classic.

The professor saw the tweet his students shared after it went viral and chimed in with a response.

And he added an update on how things were going on the assignment front.

Other teachers responded to his woes, commiserating over students being handed a chance to improve their scores and simply … not doing it.

It's been a challenge during the pandemic to figure out how much to expect of any of us, hasn't it? Some leeway is definitely warranted, but are we enabling bad habits when we give too much? There are no right answers to that question. We're all winging it, trying to navigate uncharted waters and having to constantly readjust as things change.

It's exhausting. We're all exhausted. But teachers are at a level of "done" that few of us can fathom. Healthcare workers can fathom it. Anyone working with the public during the pandemic might get close. But until you've actually taught, you don't know. Teaching is hard under normal circumstances. Pandemic teaching is a whole other ballgame.

We feel you, teachers. Hang in there, and enjoy this bit that will undoubtedly feel familiar:

This article originally appeared four years ago.

Education

In the U.S. more women than men graduate from college, by a lot. What does it mean?

People share their thoughts on the what's behind the higher education gender gap.

Women outpace men in college enrollment and graduation in the United States.

For much of human history, women faced societal and cultural obstacles to formal education. In some parts of the world, that’s still the case, but in the U.S., the barriers for women to enter and excel in higher education have all but disappeared. In fact, for decades, women have outpaced men in college enrollment and graduation rates.

That’s good news for gender equality, but now American colleges and universities are facing a different dilemma, as the data shows that gender gap is widening. According to government data for the year 2021-2022 shared in Forbes, women accounted for for 62.8% of associate degrees, 58.5% of bachelor’s degrees, 62.6% of master’s degrees and 57% of doctoral degrees—a solid majority across all post-secondary degrees at every level.

What does this mean? What's causing the growing disparity and what effect does it—or will it—have on society?

from AskMen

People shared their thoughts on these questions on Reddit and it's quite eye-opening. Here are various explanations for the gap:

Women tend to be more attentive and engaged students

Some teachers and professors shared their personal experiences with female students compared to male students, saying that women just tend to be "better" students in general.

"I work at a trade school for a very male dominated field and yet my female students are consistently my highest performers. They are typically the tops of their class, bring in more scholarships, and are the first to achieve certification by farrrrrr! They just typically seem more self motivated."

"I'm a professor at a community college and I teach a trade. From my experience the women just have it together better than the men do. They know how to study, they come prepared, they're organized, they pay attention, they are more mature, they know how to manage time and prioritize what's important."

Men and women are not equally incentivized to pursue higher education

Men have more options for well-paid work that doesn't require a college degree, including trades jobs that require greater upper body strength where men have an advantage. If women want to have financial independence, a college degree is their most promising path.

"A lot of younger dudes are told they can make more money not going to college. They are constantly hit with messaging about how the richest people in the world didn't go and so they don't have to. That they can be entrepreneurs or do get rich schemes with crypto, etc. They just see the amount of money they could make (which is complete speculation) vs the amount of money they will spend. Lastly, a lot of people have been told that college is a scam to get them into debt for the rest of their lives. Not to mention the whole military industrial complex that wants these men to go to the military instead of college so they do invade a lot of men's spaces like video games.

Meanwhile women have been pushing other women to go to college for a many reasons like it still being one of the best ways to boost your overall income. College was one of the many things kept away from women and so modern women will take advantage of their rights."

woman studyingWomen have more incentive to go to college.Photo credit: Canva

"For a woman to not be financially dependant on a man, she needs an education. Financial independence. For decades, women were locked in terrible marriages because they couldn't get jobs that they could live on. Low paying secretarial and teaching jobs (much like today) were the only things available so they had to stay in destructive marriages to survive. Men knew this, probably why up until the 1960's, women were not allowed to make contracts, wills, buy or sell property or get a credit card without her husband or father co-signing. Only 1.2% of women went to college. The social changes in the 1960's led to women outpacing men in college starting in the 1970's. Honestly, women saw the value of a college degree more than men did. Still do, probably. It is the only way they can live their lives without being dependant on men."

"Women’s salaries are enhanced by college to a much higher degree than men’s are. That’s partly because there’s seemingly a wider range of non-college jobs for men to go to and still earn a good salary. So some of what’s happening is an economic substitution effect where men are opting to do something equivalent."

The trades aren't as viable an option for women—and not just because of physical differences

The trades, unfortunately, are not always the safest avenue for women to take. Not to stereotype tradesmen, but anecdotal evidence about women's experiences highlight a genuine concern.

"I think women tend to go where other women are. Women can do plenty of a trades work that won't require a degree but can they do it and count on being safe at work? Construction workers have a reputation for harassing women, for example. It's just more of a necessity for women to get a degree and avoid manual labor alongside men. The kind of things you get away with in terms of how you interact with coworkers is much more controlled in an office environment.

A big reason I went to college was how people at my uncle's contracting company treated each other and me when I helped out in the summer. I just didn't like dealing with the constant grab assing and I know it would be even worse for a woman."

"My family besides my dad and one sister are all in trades work. Outside of a cousin who took over my uncle's auto shop all the women felt shit on in trades, everything from attempted assaults by coworkers and clients, to just dealing with misogynistic bullshit. They stick with it, but its a lot. I can see why, especially if you come from a working class family that was exposed to that, you'd be extra incentives to go to and stay in college.

"Yep. I graduated trade school for painting/plastering/flooring/tile. Was the top of the class. Got onto a crew at 19 and it was hell.... I couldn't even climb a ladder without sick/gross comments. I left and never went back. I ended up doing housekeeping for a decade and broke into property management."

Programs that encourage women to pursue degrees where they've traditionally been underrepresented

Certain fields, like STEM, were traditionally male-dominated, so programs to encourage and enable women to go into those fields have been created with success. There aren't really similar programs for men, despite the education gender gap.

"Professor here in a STEM field that was predominantly male students for decades, many of the more successful programs are now predominantly female students. Our program became predominantly female in 2012. We collect information about our students attending the program and placement thereafter. The reasons for that change were elementary and secondary education programs promoting STEM for female students and lower pay than other tech and engineering fields, as well as, trades. I don't see this changing any time soon."

women in a labPrograms for women in STEM have exploded in the past few decades.Photo credit: Canva

"There is no consensus on what causes this disparity or how to fix it. Potential root causes:

  • Grading: Teachers have been found to grade girls more generously than boys (Study 1, Study 2)
  • Teachers/Role Models: Teachers, especially for young boys, are overwhelmingly women (87% of elementary teachers are women)
  • Government Support: The Women's Bureau works to create parity for women in the workplace. Leading up to Title IX, this agency researched and developed policies to increase the number of women college graduates. There is no Men’s Bureau developing policies to increase the number of men graduating college.
  • Programs: There seemingly are many more programs promoting young women’s academic achievement than there are programs promoting young men’s academic achievement."

Boys and young men are being pushed ahead in school before they're ready

Some people pointed out that boys mature slower than girls, which may account for some of the disparity.

"Let me recommend Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. His key point is the (a) boys mature later than girls and so (b) 'redshirting' boys makes a lot of sense. So for example, if a 5 year old boy seems maybe not quite ready for kindergarten, then keep them home another year, let them begin at age 6.

Now fast forward to the last years of high school and into college, the issue becomes 'Peter Pan Syndrome,' boys/young men who don't want to grow up. I've seen that in my experience teaching college, it's not unusual for a '101' course to have one student who doesn't submit all the homework, skips classes, and so on, and in 20 years of teaching, it has always been men, not women. They flake out because of lack of maturity, and 13 years ago, maybe their parents should have just kept them home for one more year. Also, I've had men who did a military (including National Guard) term first, and they have told me that it helped them grow up."

"I was that guy in college. I muddled through for 3 years before dropping out. I just didn't have the discipline to do the work, my days were all spent drinking, smoking, and sleeping. I wish I had postponed college for a couple years and worked a real job first, I think I would have been more appreciative of the opportunity."

Boys and young men are being 'left behind'

Culturally, some are pointing out, there's a difference in how males and females are perceived as a group when they fall behind.

"There’s a lot of theories why guys tend to do more poorly than girls in school, and while some explain this as biological, most theories I’ve heard are cultural. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard moms or even some teachers saying how boys are being 'left behind' in academic settings. My own mom is a retired teacher and she would make comments about this stuff too (and she has a chip on her shoulder with males)."

boy studying, holding his head in his handsBoys tend to struggle with school more often, starting early on. Photo credit: Canva

""When girls on average fall behind in a subject, there is a push to figure out why and correct it. For example STEM subjects have been made increasingly accessible to women. But when boys fall behind in a subject, there isn’t the same push at all, it’s just blamed on them. Boys are being failed, and at the same time being blamed for it. It’s a crazy way to approach educating children."

"Men get told to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and figure stuff out themselves without any help. Meanwhile when women fall behind there's societal pushes to help them out. It's this lack of a more generalized outlook on who needs help that's part of the problem here."

There are surely many reasons for the gender gap in education, but whatever they are, the disparity has implications for the employment market and research in various fields. While exact gender parity in all things is unrealistic, large disparity isn't ideal and deserves some thoughtful consideration no matter who is being outpaced.

via Canva

A mother and her adult child.

Studies show that today, roughly 45% of people ages 18-29 live at home with their families, the highest number since the 1940s. The top reason these Gen Zers and young Millenials live at home is to save money (40%), while 30% say they can’t afford to live independently and 19% are recovering from emergency costs.

By comparison, in 1970, just 7% of adults ages 25 to 35 lived at home with their parents.

There are bound to be some struggles when young adults live at home as parents try to understand how to navigate life with their grown children. When you’re raising teenagers, it’s a lot easier to draw the line when it comes to house rules, but how should parents treat their kids when they are grown adults?

Mom and parent coach Kim Muench shared some practical advice recently on Instagram for parents who aren’t sure how to create healthy boundaries with their college-age kids. Muench is the mother of 5 adult children and coaches parents of adults to become the “clear, confident, and consistent guide that’s needed in this stage of parenting.”


In her video, Muench says parents need to give their children more freedom while expecting them to be more responsible.

“Your 20-year-old daughter, who's living at home, does not need a curfew. She does need to communicate whether or not she's going to be home that night,” Muench said in an Instagram video. “Your 24-year-old son needs to do his own laundry. He also needs to move it from the washer to the dryer and back to his room in a timely manner,” she continued.

She adds that parents should stop monitoring the daily activities of their adult children.

"Your college kid does not need to be tracked. Unless, it's part of an agreement that everyone in the family has, for safety purposes. You don't need to be counting the amount of alcohol or the number of beers in the refrigerator after your son has been home for the weekend. Your son does need to buy his own alcohol and drink responsibly."

Parents should also have open lines of communication with their adult children so everyone knows what’s expected of them. “If you're not coming to an agreement on what should be done or what is happening or not happening yet that's supposed to be happening, then you need to sit down together and talk about how you can solve the problem together,” she said.



Most of the younger commenters thought this was the exact message their parents needed to hear. “People will freakishly control their kids all their lives into their 20s and be confused as to why their children are still continuing to live at home. It's creating an unhealthy view of boundaries and fear of being on their own,” Ppris0nwifee wrote in the comments.

A young adult who lives with her parents praised Muench’s approach because it works in her home.

“My parents are this way with me and it makes living here and having a social life so easy with no conflict. I can go out whenever I feel like it for however long. I just have to communicate where i'm going and if I'll be back. other than that they mind their business, it makes living at home really easy,” Strangelydeceased wrote. “Props to the parents who have boundaries but let their adult children live like adults when living at home.”

Having a young adult in the house can be hard for parents because they have to break many of the habits they developed while parenting over the past 18-plus years. That’s why it’s great that parenting coaches like Muench are here to help them navigate this tricky stage of life in a way that supports both parent and child’s needs.