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Education

In the U.S. more women than men graduate from college, by a lot. What does it mean?

People share their thoughts on the what's behind the higher education gender gap.

college students listenig to a professor

Women outpace men in college enrollment and graduation in the United States.

For much of human history, women faced societal and cultural obstacles to formal education. In some parts of the world, that’s still the case, but in the U.S., the barriers for women to enter and excel in higher education have all but disappeared. In fact, for decades, women have outpaced men in college enrollment and graduation rates.

That’s good news for gender equality, but now American colleges and universities are facing a different dilemma, as the data shows that gender gap is widening. According to government data for the year 2021-2022 shared in Forbes, women accounted for for 62.8% of associate degrees, 58.5% of bachelor’s degrees, 62.6% of master’s degrees and 57% of doctoral degrees—a solid majority across all post-secondary degrees at every level.

What does this mean? What's causing the growing disparity and what effect does it—or will it—have on society?

from AskMen

People shared their thoughts on these questions on Reddit and it's quite eye-opening. Here are various explanations for the gap:

Women tend to be more attentive and engaged students

Some teachers and professors shared their personal experiences with female students compared to male students, saying that women just tend to be "better" students in general.

"I work at a trade school for a very male dominated field and yet my female students are consistently my highest performers. They are typically the tops of their class, bring in more scholarships, and are the first to achieve certification by farrrrrr! They just typically seem more self motivated."

"I'm a professor at a community college and I teach a trade. From my experience the women just have it together better than the men do. They know how to study, they come prepared, they're organized, they pay attention, they are more mature, they know how to manage time and prioritize what's important."

Men and women are not equally incentivized to pursue higher education

Men have more options for well-paid work that doesn't require a college degree, including trades jobs that require greater upper body strength where men have an advantage. If women want to have financial independence, a college degree is their most promising path.

"A lot of younger dudes are told they can make more money not going to college. They are constantly hit with messaging about how the richest people in the world didn't go and so they don't have to. That they can be entrepreneurs or do get rich schemes with crypto, etc. They just see the amount of money they could make (which is complete speculation) vs the amount of money they will spend. Lastly, a lot of people have been told that college is a scam to get them into debt for the rest of their lives. Not to mention the whole military industrial complex that wants these men to go to the military instead of college so they do invade a lot of men's spaces like video games.

Meanwhile women have been pushing other women to go to college for a many reasons like it still being one of the best ways to boost your overall income. College was one of the many things kept away from women and so modern women will take advantage of their rights."

woman studyingWomen have more incentive to go to college.Photo credit: Canva

"For a woman to not be financially dependant on a man, she needs an education. Financial independence. For decades, women were locked in terrible marriages because they couldn't get jobs that they could live on. Low paying secretarial and teaching jobs (much like today) were the only things available so they had to stay in destructive marriages to survive. Men knew this, probably why up until the 1960's, women were not allowed to make contracts, wills, buy or sell property or get a credit card without her husband or father co-signing. Only 1.2% of women went to college. The social changes in the 1960's led to women outpacing men in college starting in the 1970's. Honestly, women saw the value of a college degree more than men did. Still do, probably. It is the only way they can live their lives without being dependant on men."

"Women’s salaries are enhanced by college to a much higher degree than men’s are. That’s partly because there’s seemingly a wider range of non-college jobs for men to go to and still earn a good salary. So some of what’s happening is an economic substitution effect where men are opting to do something equivalent."

The trades aren't as viable an option for women—and not just because of physical differences

The trades, unfortunately, are not always the safest avenue for women to take. Not to stereotype tradesmen, but anecdotal evidence about women's experiences highlight a genuine concern.

"I think women tend to go where other women are. Women can do plenty of a trades work that won't require a degree but can they do it and count on being safe at work? Construction workers have a reputation for harassing women, for example. It's just more of a necessity for women to get a degree and avoid manual labor alongside men. The kind of things you get away with in terms of how you interact with coworkers is much more controlled in an office environment.

A big reason I went to college was how people at my uncle's contracting company treated each other and me when I helped out in the summer. I just didn't like dealing with the constant grab assing and I know it would be even worse for a woman."

"My family besides my dad and one sister are all in trades work. Outside of a cousin who took over my uncle's auto shop all the women felt shit on in trades, everything from attempted assaults by coworkers and clients, to just dealing with misogynistic bullshit. They stick with it, but its a lot. I can see why, especially if you come from a working class family that was exposed to that, you'd be extra incentives to go to and stay in college.

"Yep. I graduated trade school for painting/plastering/flooring/tile. Was the top of the class. Got onto a crew at 19 and it was hell.... I couldn't even climb a ladder without sick/gross comments. I left and never went back. I ended up doing housekeeping for a decade and broke into property management."

Programs that encourage women to pursue degrees where they've traditionally been underrepresented

Certain fields, like STEM, were traditionally male-dominated, so programs to encourage and enable women to go into those fields have been created with success. There aren't really similar programs for men, despite the education gender gap.

"Professor here in a STEM field that was predominantly male students for decades, many of the more successful programs are now predominantly female students. Our program became predominantly female in 2012. We collect information about our students attending the program and placement thereafter. The reasons for that change were elementary and secondary education programs promoting STEM for female students and lower pay than other tech and engineering fields, as well as, trades. I don't see this changing any time soon."

women in a labPrograms for women in STEM have exploded in the past few decades.Photo credit: Canva

"There is no consensus on what causes this disparity or how to fix it. Potential root causes:

  • Grading: Teachers have been found to grade girls more generously than boys (Study 1, Study 2)
  • Teachers/Role Models: Teachers, especially for young boys, are overwhelmingly women (87% of elementary teachers are women)
  • Government Support: The Women's Bureau works to create parity for women in the workplace. Leading up to Title IX, this agency researched and developed policies to increase the number of women college graduates. There is no Men’s Bureau developing policies to increase the number of men graduating college.
  • Programs: There seemingly are many more programs promoting young women’s academic achievement than there are programs promoting young men’s academic achievement."

Boys and young men are being pushed ahead in school before they're ready

Some people pointed out that boys mature slower than girls, which may account for some of the disparity.

"Let me recommend Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. His key point is the (a) boys mature later than girls and so (b) 'redshirting' boys makes a lot of sense. So for example, if a 5 year old boy seems maybe not quite ready for kindergarten, then keep them home another year, let them begin at age 6.

Now fast forward to the last years of high school and into college, the issue becomes 'Peter Pan Syndrome,' boys/young men who don't want to grow up. I've seen that in my experience teaching college, it's not unusual for a '101' course to have one student who doesn't submit all the homework, skips classes, and so on, and in 20 years of teaching, it has always been men, not women. They flake out because of lack of maturity, and 13 years ago, maybe their parents should have just kept them home for one more year. Also, I've had men who did a military (including National Guard) term first, and they have told me that it helped them grow up."

"I was that guy in college. I muddled through for 3 years before dropping out. I just didn't have the discipline to do the work, my days were all spent drinking, smoking, and sleeping. I wish I had postponed college for a couple years and worked a real job first, I think I would have been more appreciative of the opportunity."

Boys and young men are being 'left behind'

Culturally, some are pointing out, there's a difference in how males and females are perceived as a group when they fall behind.

"There’s a lot of theories why guys tend to do more poorly than girls in school, and while some explain this as biological, most theories I’ve heard are cultural. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard moms or even some teachers saying how boys are being 'left behind' in academic settings. My own mom is a retired teacher and she would make comments about this stuff too (and she has a chip on her shoulder with males)."

boy studying, holding his head in his handsBoys tend to struggle with school more often, starting early on. Photo credit: Canva

""When girls on average fall behind in a subject, there is a push to figure out why and correct it. For example STEM subjects have been made increasingly accessible to women. But when boys fall behind in a subject, there isn’t the same push at all, it’s just blamed on them. Boys are being failed, and at the same time being blamed for it. It’s a crazy way to approach educating children."

"Men get told to pick themselves up by the bootstraps and figure stuff out themselves without any help. Meanwhile when women fall behind there's societal pushes to help them out. It's this lack of a more generalized outlook on who needs help that's part of the problem here."

There are surely many reasons for the gender gap in education, but whatever they are, the disparity has implications for the employment market and research in various fields. While exact gender parity in all things is unrealistic, large disparity isn't ideal and deserves some thoughtful consideration no matter who is being outpaced.

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals

Kids in the 1970s pretending to cook

"What's for dinner?" has been asked by kids for millennia, probably, and the most common answers depend on both where and at what time in history it was asked. In ancient times, people were limited to what they could hunt or gather. Medieval recipes look different than what people ate in the 19th century. And what our grandparents ate when they were children was different from what our kids eat today.

Obviously, people couldn't DoorDash Chipotle in the '70s, but when someone on Reddit asked people born before 1970 what they ate for dinner most weeks, there were some standard meals a lot of Americans clearly ate regularly growing up. Lots of meatloaf and beef stroganoff. Pork chops and chop suey. Convenient assistance from Shake n' Bake, Hamburger Helper and TV dinners. Canned fruits and veggies. So much Jell-O.


Here are some of the most popular responses:

"Overcooked pork chop, minute rice, canned green beans, canned fruit cocktail

Spaghetti with ground beef and sauce made from a packet (Durkee?)

Pot roast (whatever cut of meat was on sale) cooked with Lipton onion soup mix. Frozen peas. Canned peaches.

Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and canned green beans. Canned pears

Shake n bake chicken and scalloped potatoes from a box. Canned fruit of some kind.

On awesome days Chef Boyardee pizza mix from a box.

I liked LaChoy chop suey.

Always with a jug of milk on the table."

1970s, '70s, generations, meals, meatloaf Meatloaf was a staple dinner.Photo credit: Canva

"So I think many of our moms went to the same home ec classes. Our house also had on rotation:

Goulash: It wasn’t what I have come to understand is Hungarian Goulash, but ground beef/spices/tomatoes.

Chicken Diane: Way overcooked chicken with rosemary, thyme and other seasonings.

Meatloaf: Yes, ketchup on top.

And the ever-present rice. Dad bought an aluminum rice cooker from his time in Japan and we had rice (he added soy sauce on top) 3x per week. The other side was baked potatoes.

The big treat!!!??? Chef Boy Ar Dee pizza from a tube on Friday once per month. Mom had a round aluminum baking pan and make dough, spread the included sauce on the dough, add the Parmesan Cheese (in the included packet). That was the biggest treat - and in all honesty I would go back to that day cause I miss my mom. Best pizza ever."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Hamburger patty or braised round steak, green salad, canned vegetable (peas, beans, corn, beets). Occasionally a baked potato. Sometimes my mom would toss chicken in a flour/seasoning mix and bake it and we'd have oven fried chicken--maybe once every couple of weeks. We got beef from a cousin so it was cheap, and chicken was expensive.

Mom also made spaghetti with ground beef, and beef stew with the tougher cuts of the cow. Oh--and liver--God how I hated liver night.

We always had cheap grocery store 'ice milk' in the freezer for dessert."

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals, spaghetti Spaghetti is still a classic.Photo credit: Canva

"Sunday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.

Monday - Roast chicken, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Tuesday - Pork chops, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Wednesday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.

Thursday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Friday - breaded and fried fish (ugh--haddock, halibut, or cod if the latter was on sale), a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Saturday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Dessert would be supermarket ice cream (carton, usually Neopolitan), Jello chocolate pudding, Table Talk pie (usually apple)."

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals, pork chops Why were pork chops so popular?Photo credit: Canva

"Typical meals: stroganoff made with ground beef and egg noodles. Pot roast. Swiss steak. Chicken cacciatore. Fried chicken. This was in California, but my parents were from the Midwest so pretty meat-and-potatoes. There was always a side vegetable and a starch. Rarely bread or rolls. Occasionally salad but not always until the 1980s. No formal/planned dessert except for special occasions like birthdays and holidays, but sometimes there was ice cream in the freezer or there were cookies (store bought; my mom wasn't a baker). In the late 70s my mom loved Julia Child and started to be more adventurous with cooking; later she took Asian cooking classes too."

"Beef stroganoff, fried bologna, weiners wrapped in bacon and then broiled, baked beans, (from scratch) liver.

Jello 1-2-3 (so space age!) Bundt cake, canned fruit salad, canned pears, canned peaches."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When we had some money (early in the pay period):

Spaghetti with sausages and homemade sauce

Liver and onions

Chop suey

Spare ribs and sauerkraut

Pork chops with mashed potatoes and gravy

Beef stew

Boeuf bourguignon

Beef stroganoff

When we were short on money:

Spam & scrambled eggs

Homemade macaroni & cheese

Cold cereal

That’s all I can think of right now.

We very rarely ever had dessert and almost never ate out. We never had fast food, the only fast food chain in town was Burger King, and McDonald’s was a town away and only open about six months of the year."

Here's to all the meals that nourished us in every era of our lives.

service dog, golden retriever, disney cruise, disney characters, good dog, dogs, pets, funny animals
Photo credit: Canva

A service dog named Forest lost his mind when he got to meet his hero: Pluto the Dog.

Service dogs are professionals who are trained to be attentive, helpful and extremely well-behaved for their owners who rely on them for everyday living. They aren't easily distracted and have solid control over their impulses because their job performance is vital to humans who need them. No one wants a service dog going rogue.

But underneath all of that self-control and professionalism, service dogs are still dogs, and they deserve to have a little fun every once in a while. An adorable recent encounter onboard a Disney Cruise Ship makes that abundantly clear.


service dog, golden retriever, disney cruise, disney characters, good dog, dogs, pets, funny animals Pluto and Goofy along with Chip and Dale. Photo by Taha on Unsplash

Ashton McGrady is a content creator who shares her adventures with her Golden Retriever service dog, Forest, who has an affinity for Disney characters. In one video, she shows Forest choosing his own stuffy at a Disney gift shop, even putting the money on the counter to pay for it himself.

In another video, McGrady takes Forest onto the high seas via a Disney cruise ship: The Wish. Onboard, Forest was lucky enough to be reunited with his favorite character, Pluto. People the world over are feeling his joy vicariously.

Watch:

@radiantlygolden

proof that distance won’t keep the very best of friends apart ❤️🚢✨ we love you pluto!!! #servicedog #servicedogteam #disneytiktok #disneycruiseline #disneycruise #hostedbydisney

Ashton calls Forest her "best pal and lifesaver," and it's clear from her videos that they make a great team. People loved seeing the good doggo get to let loose and enjoy a romp with Pluto and how the cast member interacted with him as well. Over two million people viewed the video on TikTok and hundreds chimed in to share how happy it made them.

"Those dogs are such good pups and work so hard to keep their owners safe, it’s nice to see them play for a bit ❤️"

"This is the most golden retriever golden I’ve ever seen 🥰🥰🥰"

"i just know the actor under the costume was having the best day ever."

"DID PLUTO WAG HIS OWN TAIL??? This is the best thing I’ve seen all day"

"It's like the Disney hug rule applies to dogs...but it's play with them until they are done."

"This truly made me smile"


service dog, golden retriever, disney cruise, disney characters, good dog, dogs, pets, funny animals Dogs aren't normally allowed onboard cruise ships unless they're service dogs, like Forest. Photo by Stephen Mease on Unsplash

The "Disney hug rule" referenced here is an apparently unofficial "rule" that Disney cast members when dressed in character don't end a child's hug until the child lets go—basically letting the child hug the character as long as they want to. It's not an actual rule, but it's a thoughtful practice some cast members use to make sure their young guests don't leave a character meet disappointed.

For Forest, the equivalent is playing until he (or his owner—he's on the job, after all) decides he's done.

This isn't the first time Forest has had a touching reunion with Pluto. Ashton shared another video with a similar interaction—it's clear that Pluto truly is Forest's bestie.

@radiantlygolden

I just want to go back to this moment 🥹 if you’re friends with pluto and you see this, you made our entire day ♥️ #waltdisneyworld #wdw50 #epcotfestivalofthearts #festivalofthearts #epcot #charactermeetandgreet #disneytiktok #distok #servicedog #servicedogteam #servicedogsatdisney

Ashton also uses social media to educate people about service dogs, as there are a lot of misunderstandings out there about what service animals are, how they work, and where they are allowed to be.

Though service dogs and their owners will often naturally form a bond, a service dog is not a pet; it's a working animal that assists a person with disabilities or health conditions. In fact, service animals are considered medical equipment, in the same category as a wheelchair or an oxygen tank, and they are allowed to go anywhere the person they are serving would normally be allowed to go—even if other animals are not allowed. As the Americans with Disabilities Act website states: "Under the ADA, State and local governments, businesses, and nonprofit organizations that serve the public generally must allow service animals to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of the facility where the public is allowed to go."

Service dogs are sometimes confused with emotional support animals, but they are not the same thing. Service animals are trained to do specific tasks related to mitigating a person's disability, which could range from recognizing when their owner is needing medical attention to reminding them to take a medication to guiding them around an obstacle or across a street.

@radiantlygolden

If a business is not pet-friendly, they may only ask these TWO questions! note: “emotional support” is NOT considered a valid answer to question 2. thank you @Disney Parks for this great example of how it should be done. #servicedog #servicedoglife #servicedogteam #disabilitytiktok #disneyparks

There are some guidelines and laws that govern how the general public as well as private businesses should interact with service animals. First, no one should pet a service animal unless their handler specifically invites them to. Second, there are only two questions a business owner or their staff members are allowed to ask a person with a service dog: 1) Is the dog a service animal who is required because of a disability? And 2) What work or task has the dog been trained to perform? They are not allowed to ask for documentation, ask what disability the person has or ask that the dog demonstrate what they can do.

For people who need them, service animals like Forest are a vital part of living a full life. They are also working professionals who deserve a break now and then, so it's fun to see this good doggo having the time of his life: like the time he met a pair of dolphins who were endlessly fascinated with him, or when he scored a great seat at the Taylor Swift Eras Tour. Rolling around with his best bud, Pluto, though, definitely takes the cake.

You can follow Ashton and Forest on TikTok and YouTube.

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service

A German man explains why smiling at strangers in public is weird in Germany

Americans have such an interesting reputation internationally, but one that seems to give our nationality away in Germany is our habit of smiling. That's not to say that Germans don't smile because of course they do! But they don't smile while passing strangers on the street or use it as a social nicety.

Some may consider the constant smiling that many Americans do as fake or disingenuous because it's not part of their cultural norms. Dominik, a German man who runs the YouTube channel Get Germanized, explains that Americans may be taken aback by the lack of smiling by German citizens in public settings.


In America, it's considered polite to smile when greeting people or even when entering a place of business while passing another customer. It's a social norm that signals to the other person that you're acknowledging them. Sometimes this can be followed by a good morning or a thank you if the person in question held the door. There are places in the country where this is not as prevalent, but even in large cities where everyone seems to be in a rush, smiling still seems to be an understood custom.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling girl chatting outdoors with a friend.Photo credit: Canva

Cultures vary from state to state, so it's no surprise that German social niceties are different than those in the U.S., Dominik explains, "Smiling is social lubricant everywhere else. [In] Many cultures, especially English-speaking ones, smiling is a social default. You smile at strangers. You smile to soften social interactions. You smile even when you don't mean it. It's a universal, friendly, 'I'm harmless' gesture. In Germany, that's suspicious. People will think, 'Why is this person smiling at me?'"

He goes on to share that the German smile is rare because it is only used when they're familiar with the person and are genuinely happy or amused. According to Dominik, a German offering up smiles to random people could "feel fake, intrusive, or overly familiar." It can also be seen as nervousness, insecurity, or manipulation. Germans don't smile to soothe the discomfort of themselves or others. Instead, their faces remain neutral until they experience an emotion that would elicit change.

"German communication is built on honesty. Not just in words, their body language too. If they're tired, you'll see it. If they're annoyed, you'll feel it. If they're happy, they'll show it, but only when they actually are. No forced cheerfulness. No plastic service smile. No, 'How are you? Fine,' dance. It's refreshing once you get used to it. Like taking off a mask you didn't know was there," Dominik says.

The no-smiling cultural norm extends to the service industry in Germany. Customer service employees are there to solve the customer's problems, not to be entertaining. Dominik explains that Germans trust professionals who look focused while working. Even on public transportation, no smiling is going on between commuters; people mind their own business. They're not unfriendly, they're respecting your space." Dominik shares.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling warmly in a cozy sweater, feeling relaxed and happy.Photo credit: Canva

The German culture enthusiast assures viewers that Germans smile a lot, but it's reserved for friends, families, and cute puppies. They also smile at people they like, so it's not that Germans think Americans are strange for smiling; their cultural norms are just different.

duck egg on the ground, duck egg in incubator, duckling just hatched, humanity, kindness, ducks, animals, wildlife, conservation
Courtesy of Riyadh Khalaf/Instagram (used with permission)

When Riyadh found an egg, he had no idea how much it would change his life.

Some love stories are so out of the ordinary that they are worth sharing with the world. And few love stories are as extraordinary as the one between a man and the sweet creature that hatched from a mysterious egg he found and incubated.

The true tale of Riyadh and Spike's starts like the opening to a children's book: "One day, a man was walking along and spotted a lone egg where an egg should not have been…" And between that beginning and the story's mostly sweet ending is a beautiful journey of curiosity, care, and connection that captivated people all over the world.


Irish author, broadcaster, and activist Riyadh Khalaf was out walking in Devon, England, when he came upon an egg.

"We just found what we think is a duck egg," Riyadh says in a video showing the milky white egg sitting in a pile of dirt. "Just sitting here on its own. No nest. No other eggs."


duck egg on the ground, duck egg in incubator, duckling just hatched, humanity, kindness, ducks, animals, wildlife, conservation What do you do when you find an egg where it doesn't belong? Photo credit: Canva

Thinking there was no way it was going to survive on its own, Riyadh put the egg in a paper cup cushioned with a napkin and took it home to London, which entailed two car rides, a hotel stay, a train ride, a tube ride, and a bus ride. He said he used to breed chickens and pigeons, so he had some experience with birds. Knowing the egg could survive for a while in a dormant state, he ordered an incubator on Amazon. An incubator keeps eggs at a particular temperature and humidity range in order to allow them to continue growing. They mimic the warmth the egg receives from the mother bird sitting on it in the nest. Without that warmth, the fetus inside the egg will die.

With the egg tucked safely inside the warm incubator, the journey to see if the egg was viable began.


Even though it was "just an egg," Riyadh quickly became attached, and once it showed signs of life he took on the role of "duck dad."

Every day, the egg showed a drastic change in development. The incubator was working, and Riyadh's giddy joy at each new discovery—movement, a discernible eye, a beak outline—was palpable. He devoured information on ducks to learn as much as he could about the baby he was (hopefully) about to hatch and care for.

Finally, 28 days later, the shell of the egg began to crack. The baby was coming!


"I could see this very clear outline of the most gorgeous little round bill," Riyadh said—confirmation that it was, indeed, a duck as he had suspected. But duckling hatching is a process, and one they have to do it on their own. Ducklings instinctively know to turn the egg as it hatches so that the umbilical cord detaches, and the whole process can take up to 48 hours. Riyadh watched and monitored until he finally fell asleep, but at 4:51am, 29 hours after the egg had started to hatch, he awakened to the sound of tweets.

"There was just this little wet alien staring back at me," he said. "It was love at first sight."

Riyadh named his rescue duckling Spike. Once Spike was ready to leave the incubator, he moved into "Duckingham Palace," a setup with all of the things he would need to grow into a healthy, self-sufficient duck—including things that contribute to his mental health. (Apparently, ducklings can die from poor mental health, which can happen when they don't have other ducks to interact with—who knew?)

"My son shall not only survive, but he shall thrive!" declared the proud papa.


Riyadh knew it would be impossible for Spike not to imprint on him somewhat, but he didn't want him to see him as his mother. Riyadh set up mirrors so that Spike could see another duckling (even though it was just himself) and used a surrogate stuffed duck to teach him how to do things like eat food with his beak.

He used a duck whistle and hid his face from Spike while feeding him, and he played duck sounds on his computer to accustom Spike to the sounds of his species. He knew that Spike could not stay and live with him forever, so he'd need to learn how to become a normal, everyday duck.

"It's just such a fulfilling process to watch a small being learn," said Riyadh.

As Spike grew, Riyadh took him to the park to get him accustomed to the outdoors and gave him opportunities to swim in a small bath. He learned to forage and do all the things a duck needs to do. Throughout, Riyadh made sure that Spike was getting the proper balanced nutrition he needed as well.

In the wild, most ducks eat plants, small insects, seeds, grains, and fruits. Some species of ducks will even eat small fish. Contrary to popular belief, bread is not good for ducks. It's not inherently harmful, but it's basically candy to them — it has little to none of the nutrients their bodies need. So if they fill up on bread, they may eat less of the foods they really need. Riyadh had a lot to learn!

Check this out:


After 89 days, the day finally came for Spike to leave Riyadh's care and be integrated into a community of his kind "to learn how to properly be a duck."

A rehabilitation center welcomed him in and he joined a flock in an open-air facility where he would be able to choose whether to stay or to leave once he became accustomed to flying. Within a few weeks of being at the rehabilitation center, his signature mallard colors developed, marking his transition from adolescence. Spike has been thriving with his flock, and Riyadh was even able to share video of his first flight.

This is where "And they all lived happily ever after" would be a fitting end to the story, but unfortunately, Spike and his fowl friends are living in trying times. The rehabilitation center was notified by the U.K. government in December of 2024 that the duck flock needed to be kept indoors for the time being to protect them from a bird flu outbreak and keep it from spreading.

Building an entire building for a flock of ducks is not a simple or cheap task, so Riyadh called on his community of "daunties" and "duncles" who had been following Spike's story to help with a fundraiser to build a "Duckingham Palace" for the whole flock. Riyadh's followers quickly raised over £11,000, which made a huge difference for the center's owners to be able to protect Spike and his friends.

All in all, Riyadh and Spike's story is a testament to what can happen when people genuinely care. If Riyadh had left that egg where it was, it may not have made it. If Spike hadn't survived and been moved to the rehab center, the ducks there would be in greater danger of the bird flu due to the costs of building an indoor shelter for them. Despite the ongoing bird flu threat, the story really does have a happy ending.

In an update from June 2025, Riyadh shares that Spike is currently living with Leanne Clarke, who built a rescue shelter called "The Quack Shack" in her home. Riyadh's story and fundraising made much of the construction possible. Spike is starting to remember Riyadh less and less, which is bittersweet, but means that Spike is thriving in his new, safe, domesticated life.

Thanks to Riyadh for sharing Spike's journey with us. (You can follow Riyadh on Instagram here.)

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

mil, mother in law, awesome mother in law, toxic mother in law, care package, motherhood, family

Smiling woman receives lovely care package

As many modern-day parents can attest, grandpdarents like to give a lot of...stuff. It can be overwhelming and frustrating, bringing all these things into your home that you have to find a place for, all of it adding to the clutter and mental load. Some informal surveys say 75% of parents are frustrated that grandparents give the kids too many gifts. And it's not just gifts, but food, baked goods, and groceries that noboday asked for—it's all too much!

It's a double-edged sword, though, because sometimes the stuff is great and really helpful. It's important to remember that there is a lot of generosity and love behind grandparents' (sometimes outlandish) gifting. It's a way for them to stay connected to the family when they can't always be there during the day-to-day. A little gift here and there is a way to show the grandkids they love them, and sending a batch of brownies you definitely don't want to be eating is just their little way of helping out.


To that end, a mom on TikTok recently showed off her outrageous haul from her mother-in-law, who sent a laughably generous care package when the family was sick with the flu.

mil, mother in law, awesome mother in law, toxic mother in law, care package, motherhood, family Sick woman in bed with thermometer, scarf, and hot water bottle on neck.Photo credit: Canva

Makenzie Hubbell can barely contain her laughter as she begins telling the story on camera.

"My entire family is sick and we asked our mother-in-law to shop for us, so this is everything she got."

Hubbell then holds up two eight-packs of Gatorade, or enough to hydrate a professional sports team.

"We asked for some goldfish for my son, for when he starts eating." Cue enormous, bulk-sized tub of Goldfish crackers. Then two giant bags of Tyson's chicken nuggets. "We asked for ground turkey. She got us two," Hubbell says, showing off the packs.

"Did not ask for these, but very thankful," she says, holding up a container of strawberries. "Strawberries are very expensive."

It went on and on. A huge package of chicken breast that could feed their family for a week. But the package wasn't just food and rations. There was a book for the little one, cupcakes for mom's birthday, and a gift in an adorable bag (spoiler: It was a candle and a t-shirt).

The care package was a veritable clown car of supplies and gifts. It's safe to say that mom-in-law went way overboard, in the way that grandparents do. Watch Hubbell show it all off here:

@chunkymak i fear the gatorade wont last more than 3 days😂😭 #plussize #plussizeedition #groceries #groceryhaul ♬ original sound - chunkymak

Commenters related heavily to the video, and it's got us wondering if mother-in-laws have been getting a bad rap all this time.

Turns out that mothers-in-law, despite their reputation, are coming in clutch all over the place! We might not always see eye to eye, but they're some of the most reliable and generous family members out there.

"You won the mother-in-law lottery."

"This is my MIL but she gives so much and won’t allow us to pay any portion back."

"My ex's mother, my oldest son’s grandma, drops off a care package of groceries every time she goes to Costco. Always a rotisserie chicken. Muffins, fruit, snacks for school and fresh veggies."

"Welcome to the best mother in law club. My husband had a lot of health issues before he passed and my MIL would schedule her cleaning lady to come over the day before he came home from the hospital."

"My MIL is the same way…but times 4. If I asked her to pick some things up, it would be a haul. Those of us that are blessed, APPRECIATE!"

"So happy when I hear positive MIL stories on this app. While I am not one nor do I have one it always seems like they’re getting such a bad rap."

To add to the comedy of it all, Hubbell's mother-in-law was back with more rations and an entire pharmacy's-worth of medical supplies the very next day:

@chunkymak Replying to @weetchofthewoods she also got us the sams club big pack of pampers cruisers in the wrong size so she's going to exchange them but she's got such a huge heart🩷 #plussize #plussizeedition #groceries #groceryhaul ♬ original sound - chunkymak

Conflict between women and their mothers-in-law might be a little exaggerated by sitcoms and stand-up comics, but it is a tricky relationship to manage.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Mothers-in-law are naturally protective of their own children and have strong feelings and opinions about how their grandchildren are being raised. Communication and boundaries are key, but can be a challenge for any family to navigate with grandparents.

Case in point: Just as many commenters on Hubbell's video expressed regret that they didn't have nearly as good of a relationship with their own MIL.

It's a good exercise for any married person to look past the conflicts and disagreements and recognize how generous grandparents, and especially those pesky mothers-in-law, can be with their time and money. They just love to go overboard like in Hubbell's viral video, and seem to take pride in being more helpful than you could possibly ever ask them to be. Sure, that generosity also comes with a lot of junk and a little more spoiling of the kids than you'd like, but Hubbell's video is a good reminder to stop and be appreciative for just a moment if you're lucky enough to have an overly generous mother-in-law in your life.

This article originally appeared last year.