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Mom blasted for not wanting to go to her kid's parent-teacher conference. Is she in the wrong?

This was a surprisingly heated debate.

@mamasreadingjournal/TikTok

"Am I a bad mom for not wanting to go?"

Parent-teacher conferences are considered a crucial tool in a child's education and development. They help both parents and teachers get on the same page about a student's progress, strengths, and areas where improvement is needed. What's more, it helps parent maintain a participating role in this aspect of their child's life, making them hopefulll feel supported and cared for.

That said, with all the mandatory activities that parents today have to manage on top of their work and other households responsibilities…not to mention all the various ways parents are constantly inundated with information from schools…it's understandable why some parents might question whether or not these one-on-ones are actually necessary. Or at the very least…if it could be sent in an email.

For mom Tatiana (@mamasreadingjournal), the dread of having to go to her kid’s parent-teacher conference was so strong that she posted a TikTok video asking if other moms and dads felt the same way. “Do you go to your kid's parent-teacher conferences every year? Am I a bad mom for not wanting to go? Like I'm gonna go, but I really don't wanna go, you know?” she asked in the clip, just before quipping, “sorry if his teacher finds this, it's not you, I swear, it's me, I'm lazy.”

parent-teacher conference, parenting, education, kids, school, moms of tiktok “This can't be an email?”Photo credit: Canva

Considering Tatiana is already in communication with her kid’s teacher through an app, she also couldn't help but wonder why “this can't be an email?” A very, very relatable thought for anyone in the 21st century. Tatiana’s confession was met with…a lot of concern. Clearly, people do, in fact, feel pretty strongly about this topic. And a common point brought up was how a child might feel if their parent doesn’t show an interest in their education in this particular way.

@thisthatlifeandmore Do we really have to go every year? Like let the teachers go home #parentteacherconferences #everyyyear #teachers ♬ original sound - Tatiana🫧 | This & That

“Your child is worth the effort, showing up to things like this is showing up for them,” one person wrote.

Another asked, “I guess the question is why aren’t you interested in learning from your child’s teacher about how their learning journey is going, if they’re a good friend to their classmates, etc? I see how it can be an inconvenience but being a parent means being involved in their life at school as well.”

A few teachers also weighed in, who admitted that even they didn’t exactly love parent-teacher conferences. Still, one advised, “always go. As a teacher it builds the connection we have with the parent, helps communication to overall support the child.”

Another teacher was a little more blunt, saying, “girl. we don't want to go! but you create so much work for us if you don't go. we gotta document so many attempts of trying to get you in. also, your kid wants you to go. I see hs kids sad that their parents don't care to go. It's important I swear.”

There was even a heated sidebar debate as to which parent, if only one, should be attending said parent-teacher conference—the stay-at-home-parent (SAHP), or the parent who works. Some argued that the SAHP should be the one to go as part of their at-home responsibilities. Others argued that SAHPs are the ones in regular correspondence with teachers, and therefore it’s the other parent that needs to get caught up.

But all moral judgments aside, this mom wasn’t necessarily saying she planned on skipping out. She was merely sharing a feeling that quite honestly a lot of folks can probably relate to. Even the most involved parent on the planet could get overwhelmed with the ever increasing amount of random school events that seem more or less mandatory. That goes double for parents who already have demanding schedules or social anxiety, which has to describe at least 99.9% of parents, right? It more so sounds like she was looking for commiseration than anything else.

To that point, Tatiana did make a follow-up video sharing that she “did not know” that not attending a parent-teacher conference results in more work for the teacher. She assumed it meant they’d “get to go home earlier if I didn't go.” Honestly, fair assumption.

She also clarified that she did in fact go to the conference, and had always planned to go. However, she tells Upworthy that “outta my 15 minute slot we talked about my kid’s actual performance for maybe two minutes. Even my husband was shocked how much we chitchatted vs discussing actual grades and progress.”

@thisthatlifeandmore Replying to @The Next Ten Minutes ♬ original sound - Tatiana🫧 | This & That

But regardless, while she still feels that there’s “too much weight” put on this particular event, she will “go every year with bells on.”

“A mom who’s willing to accept feedback and adjust their attitude. We love to see it,” one astute viewer said.

This goes to show a few things. One, it’s a reminder of how so many aspects of education could stand for a revamp to fit with modern times. Two, productive conversations really can lead to better understanding. And three, parenting comes with going to a lot of things that you’d really rather not go to. Be it a parent-teacher conference or a Peppa Pig pop-up.

Also bonus number four—it can almost always be an email instead.

This article originally appeared last year.

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'What happened to kindergarten?' Long time teacher laments how hard the grade has become

“The curriculum is insane for elementary school kiddos. They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

@the_wondermint/TikTok

"They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

It’s nothing new for parents to lament their kid’s ever-growing list of school requirements. From piles of homework to getting graded for school supplies, the pressures seem to be not only racking up over time, but spreading to younger and younger grades. And it’s not just parents who have noticed the shift. Recently, longtime kindergarten teacher Ms. Kelli, of the TikTok account @the_wondermint, reflected on how different it is for students at even an introductory level.

In the clip, Kelli begins, “So I just gotta ask, as a 20-year kindergarten teacher myself, remember when we went to kindergarten that we just had to be potty trained and not eat the glue?” Comparing that to the long list of requirements nowadays, the educator says she feels sorry for families going through it.

“My heart breaks when I see all these videos of what do you need to do to prepare your child for kindergarten, and things your child must know before going to kindergarten, and these lists of things that parents need to be working on.”

Keli argues that, “Human development hasn't changed. What a five or six-year-old child is physically, mentally and developmentally able to do hasn't changed, in all these years.” Still, the standards have changed. And kids are paying the price.

So she encourages fellow teachers and parents to not force the educational aspect.

“The learning will come. The development will come, the ABCs, the one, two, threes, writing, all of it, it will come ... Curriculum, it will happen. The learning, it will happen,” she says.


@the_wondermint

Little bit of a plea and PSA for the day… let them be kids! #teachersontiktok #teachertok #teachersoftiktok #iteachk #kindergarten #ilovekindergarten #iloveteaching #foryoupage #teacherforyoupage #fypage #teacherfyp #playbasedlearning #seethewonderkeepitfresh #handsonlearning #reggioemilia #letthemexplore #parentsontiktok #parentsoftiktok #kindergartenparents #kinderprep #backtoschool

Instead of placing more pressure, Kelli suggests a gentler, simpler approach.

“Let them play, let them socialize with each other. Let them learn to be away from their mommy and daddy and be sad for a little bit and be comforted. Let them find friendships that are gonna make them laugh so hard that their bellies ache and tell stories that go home. Let them create something that they never thought they could. Let them do an art project where they turn a box into a robot and they’re so excited to show their parents!”

In short: “let kids be kids.”

Kelli’s video seemed to really resonate with parents and teachers alike, who have definitely felt like certain aspects of childhood have been sacrificed in the name of “productivity.” Especially when it comes to homework.

“Yes! My son struggled in Kindergarten last year and even had homework! I could not believe what all he had to know. Teacher said he had a hard time paying attention… yeah he is 5!” one mom shared.

“Finally someone said it,” added another. “The curriculum is insane for elementary school kiddos. They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

One person noted that “the kindergarten report card used to be things like skipping, walking on a balance beam, the hardest thing was counting to 100.”

As for whether or not a more academic-focused approach to kindergarten is, in fact, less beneficial to kids— a 2019 study in the American Educational Research Journal did find that it led to improvements, both academic and interpersonal, in the long run.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean we need to load them up with a ton of work for after school. Another study reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times the recommended amount of homework.

This is why Kelli created a follow up video sharing why she doesn’t assign homework to her own students.

@the_wondermint

Replying to @Drea_keevs Controversial but yet it shouldn’t be… 5 year olds should not be doing homework! Talk as a family, snuggle and read, enjoy their favorite sport activity, have a dance party! Their days are filled inside school, make the time outside of school good for their hearts and souls! #t#teachersontiktokt#teachertokt#teachersoftiktoki#iteachkk#kindergarteni#ilovekindergarteni#iloveteachingf#foryoupaget#teacherforyoupagef#fypaget#teacherfypp#playbasedlearnings#seethewonderkeepitfreshh#handsonlearningr#reggioemilial#letthemexploreparentsontiktok #parentsoftiktok #parentingtips #homework #homeworkhelp

“We are covering what we’re covering in the five or six hours with these little babies, and if we can’t cover that in that time, we’re definitely not gonna get the best out of them at 5, 6 o’clock at night when they’re tired and they should be enjoying time with their family,” she said.

She does, however, advocate trying to instill a “love of reading,” if you can count that as homework. But even then, that assignment looks more like snuggling in bed, cozying up with a book, and having their parents read it to them.

Point being: of course school is meant to help set up students for success. But if it robs them of their precious, formative, and oh-so-temporary childhood, then is it really worth it?


This article originally appeared last year.

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Mom calls out teacher who gave her son a 'zero' grade for not providing class with supplies

Her viral video sparked a debate as to whether or not providing school supplies should be mandatory for parents.

@shanittanicole/TikTok

A zero grade for not providing school supplies?

The debate as to whether or not parents should supply classroom supplies is not new. But as prices continue to rise, parents are growing more baffled as to how they can be expected by teachers to provide all the various glue sticks, colored pencils, rulers and other various items the incoming students might need.

What’s even more perplexing, however, is penalizing the children of parents who won’t (or can’t) provide them. This was the case for Shanitta Nicole, who discovered her son received a zero grade in his new school for not bringing school supplies for the entire classroom.

Nicole was especially surprised by this reaction since she had already gone through the effort of making sure her son had every supply he needed from the school’s list, which was slightly different than the one they previously had.

And yet, the 7th grade teacher informed her son that he was still expected to provide for the classroom, not just himself. And, thus, a zero grade, for failing the assignment, so to speak.


Even though Nicole thought the rule was “weird,” she went out and bought the bulk items, which included tissues, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, pencils, Expo markers, and red pens.

And yet, the next week—her son still has a zero. Concerned, Nicole emailed her son’s teacher.

“I’m like, ‘hey…my student has a 83 in the class and everything else in the class is 100s and 98s and he still has a zero for something called ‘classroom supplies.’” she said in a video.

“‘We bought the supplies anyways, but I don't feel like it's the parents' responsibility to supply your classroom. And I definitely don't think it's appropriate to assign a grade to students based off of whether or not they've supplied your class with supplies. That doesn't make any sense.’”

@shanittanicole Am I doing too much? #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

And while Nicole’s email did get the teacher to reconcile the grade, there was no mention to her other concern regarding the responsibility for parents to provide the entire class with supplies.

“So, I emailed the principal because I just, I might be extra, but I just want to see what's going on. Why do I have to buy supplies for the classroom?” the frustrated mom concluded.

Nicole’s video quickly went viral on TikTok, and several weighed in to agree that the teacher’s actions were misguided.

“That is so unfair!! Especially for the kids whose parents CANT afford groceries let alone classroom supplies,” one user wrote.

Another added, “You are not wrong. It is 100% ok for [the teacher] to ask for supplies, but mandate it for a grade? Absolutely not.”

And this point is truly what Nicole took umbrage with, as she noted several times in the comments. It has less to do with being asked to help and more to do with her son’s grade depending on it.

In a follow-up video, Nicole shared that the school principal did end up reaching out, notifying her that while, yes, teachers are allowed to ask for donations, it should never be mandated.

@shanittanicole Replying to @yafavv._.dancer😍😘💞😍😍💞 Graded Supplies Update #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

“What the teacher was trying to accomplish, but it definitely wasn't appropriate,” the principal told Nicole.

While the teacher might have not handled this situation in the best way, it goes without saying that this is a larger systemic issue—one that isn’t exactly fair to parents, teachers and students alike.

Most public school teachers spend a significant amount of their own money on classroom supplies, to an average of $673 per year, according to a recent survey of more than 1,100 educators by the Association of American Educators (AAE). That number only goes up for teachers in high poverty schools.

At the same time, according to a 2022 survey with Savings.com, the typical parent also spends nearly $600 on school supplies. Plus things like clothes, backpacks, haircuts etc.

In the grand scheme of things, there’s no use placing full responsibility or blame onto teachers or parents. Because either way, students get caught in the crossfire. This is clearly a universal burden that needs attention.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Middle school teacher shares Gen Alpha slang parents should know as kids go back to school

"Skibidi" and "sigma" are alive and well, but what do they mean?

Philip Lindsay/Instagram

Mr. Lindsay translates Gen Alpha slang for the rest of us.

Every young generation invents its own slang, much to the befuddlement of older folks who quickly tire of trying to keep up with constantly changing terminology. Remember Gen X's "bogus" or "gnarly" or "grody to the max"? How about millennials with "basic" and "extra" and "clapback"? Gen Z is still going strong with "giving" and "eating" and "mid," but even the older teens and young adults of Gen Z are beginning to feel their cool factor waning as Gen Alpha steps up to the plate.

Gen Alpha, born between 2010 and 2024, has arrived with a whole new vocabulary that parents of school-aged kids are scrambling to adjust to. Does anyone beyond high school age know what "skibidi" means? How about "sigma" or "gyat" or "Ohio"?

One group of people who have their fingers on the pulse of young folks' language is teachers. When you're immersed in tween and teen culture all day, you pick up some things, which is why Mr. Lindsay, a middle school teacher, shared a little Gen Alpha slang primer for the beginning of the school year.

"Mr. Lindsay here to remind you of some of the words that are coming to a classroom near you this fall," he began. "Word number one—GYAT. Still going strong, okay? It does not mean, 'Go You Athletic Teens,' it does not mean 'Get Your Act Together,' it is a reference to a big butt, and when they say this they are referencing a big butt."

"Next we have 'skibidi,' it's alive and well," Lindsay continued. "Are we any closer to a consensus on the definition of this word? Absolutely not. Some say it means something good, some say it means something bad. Most of them just use it as a filler word whenever they have the impulse to say it. Skibidi."

How about "sigma"? Or "what the sigma"? Watch Mr. Lindsay explain:

The line between Gen Alpha and Gen Z can be blurry, and right now the cuspers between those two generations are in middle and high school—prime time for slang usage. Mr. Lindsay made another video demonstrating how a millennial teacher might try to relate to those students on the first day of school and it's a masterclass in cringe cross-generational slang usage that somehow manages to slay.

Watch:

Others who work with young people confirmed that these terms are, indeed, alive and well among the tween set.

"These are now sliding down to the elementary grades as well. Teaching 3rd-5th grade vacation bible school this week and I’ve heard multiple skibidi and what the sigma references."

"I took my soon to be first grader to a baseball camp this week. It was for 1st to 6th but it was mostly the younger kids. I laughed so hard when one of them yelled, “what the sigma?!”

"My 12 year old overheard me listening, ran in and said- you can’t listen to our stuff!!!! And tried to steal the phone. 🤣🤣🤣. I said what the sigma, Bro. He hates me."

Parents are deeply appreciative of both Lindsay's vocab lesson as well as demonstration of terminology they've heard from their kids and are reluctantly fluent in:

"This lowkey kinda ate and I hate that I understood it 😂😂😂"

"Saying using your phone in class is giving pick me is the MOST effective way to stop it. Lol"

"My Gen Alpha kid overheard this and was like 'BET.'"

"If everyone does this we can unalive this slang, no cap."

"Why do I understand all of this?! 😂🤣😭 Parent problems I guess."

Millennials using Gen Z and Gen Alpha slang is endlessly funny. Social media creator Elle Cordova wrote a "first gen alpha poet laureate" poem using Gen Alpha slang in a poem written in the year 2060, and it's perfection. ("Ohio" means weird/boring/bad, by the way.)

There ya go, parents. At least now you know what your kids are saying, sort of. And if you really want to impress and horrify your children, make these words a regular part of your own vocabulary and see how long they keep using them.

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