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Equality

A useful response to the bigoted copy-and-paste post your acquaintances keep sharing

Canva, u/beerbellybegone/Reddit

The U.S. has long engaged in discussions and debates over civil rights and social justice—issues that certainly don't seem like they should be controversial, but somehow turn out to be. In an ideal world, no one would ever have to fight for their rights or beg for equal justice, but we've never lived in an ideal world. And while much of the work that needs to be done to get there lies at the level of systems and institutions, those systems and institutions are run and upheld by people. So by extension, people's individual beliefs and attitudes matter.

A post shared on Reddit shows a viral copy-and-paste post that has been circulating on social media that reads:

"YOU KNOW FOLKS, I never cared that you were gay, until you started shoving it down my throat, and I never cared what color you were, till you started blaming me for your problems, and I never cared about your political affiliation, until you started condemning me for mine. I really never even cared where you were born, until you wanted to erase my history, and blame my ancestors for your problems...you know I never even cared if your beliefs were different than mine, until you said my beliefs were wrong, but now I care, my patience and tolerence [sic] are gone, and I am not alone in feeling this, there are millions of us who feel like this..."

u/beerbellybegone/Reddit

The screenshot was shared along with a response that the poster called "as devastating a response as they come." It reads:

"'I never cared that you were gay, I just supported laws making it a felony for you to have sex with the partner of your choices, preventing you from marrying who you love, stopping you from adopting children, and saying it was okay to fire you for being gay. ESPECIALLY if you're in the military, where I wanted firing you to be a requirement.'

'I never cared what color you were, I just made excuses for discrimination against you in hiring and law enforcement and fetishized a movement that fought and lost a war to keep you from being treated as human beings with actual rights.'

'I never cared about your political affiliation as long as you shut up about it and let mine have total control of the government.'

'I never cared about your beliefs as long as you let me use the government to impose mine.'

'And when I say all my patience and tolerance are gone, I mean I never had any in the first place.'

Fixed it for you."

u/beerbellybegone/Reddit

The most interesting thing about the initial post is the sense of victimization coming from the original poster. It seems to say that having to pay attention to issues of justice and civil rights and being asked to acknowledge the ongoing impact of historical oppression and what role each of us might play in keeping others down somehow takes something away from them.

Being asked to see and care about victims of injustice doesn't make you a victim yourself. The logic there is so strange. And what does it mean to shove being gay down someone's throat? Because of course it would be reasonable to push back against someone actually cramming something down your throat, but the in this context "shove it down my throat" usually means "did something publicly in my line of vision." Not the same thing.

As a few commenters explained:

"The trouble is that the top phrases are all dog whistles. For example, 'shoving (being gay) down one's throat' is simply another term for being gay in a public space. This can range from being openly gay, mentioning your boyfriend to a coworker, etc to calling yourself a sparkle fairy or whatever. It's not just the literal definition of what they say, but how these terms are used in real life."

"I spend so much time surrounded by straight guys who talk about nothing except women's bodies and sex, but my pride flag bumper sticker is apparently throwing my sexuality in people's throats."

"Ok, so I am a lesbian, in the relationship with the woman who is now my wife and the mother of my children for the last almost 2 decades (for reference that I really do have a ton of experience), and from personal experience when people say 'don't cram it down my throat' they mean 'stay in the closet'. When I talk about my relationship at work, it is 'cramming things down their throat'. When I hold her hand in public, same deal. When the laws about marriage were discussed, it was 'cramming down their throats', when health insurance was being discussed - the same, same again when adoption was discussed. As soon as being a lesbian was equal to being not lesbian, all of a sudden I appear to have stopped 'cramming' anything anywhere."

Another commenter summed up the gist of the initial post in one sentence.

"I never cared about other people being different because society used to make it easy to pretend they didn't exist."

The thing is, the complaints in the original post are not actual complaints. People being gay in public isn't cramming it down people's throats. People pointing out all of the insidious ways ingrained white supremacy works is not blaming an individual for their problems. Pointing out that someone's political views or affiliation are doing real harm to real people could be seen as condemnation, but shouldn't things that harm people be condemned? And as for erasing history, that's a hard no. No one is erasing history, because 1) that's literally not possible and 2) a good portion of our history has been "erased" through omission or dishonesty, such as school textbooks referring to enslaved people as "workers." All that's being asked if for history to be taught accurately and for the heinous parts of our history not to be celebrated with monuments to it. And as for patience and tolerance, the irony of a person who clearly doesn't fit into the marginalized categories of people they are addressing saying they've lost both simply because they're being asked to actually care about the ways people have been and still are experiencing injustice is quite rich.

No one is asking people to care about their sexual orientation or race or religion political affiliation or beliefs. They're asking people to care about those things being used as excuses or tools discrimination. Until we have actually achieved equal justice and society no longer tacitly accepts or perpetuates people being marginalized due to race, sexual orientation, gender, or non-harmful beliefs, we have to care about those things.

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People from around the globe share 15 signs that someone is obviously an American

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

tourists, american tourists, us tourists, vacation, american style

via Tarnie/Flickr, Paul Duncan/Flickr, tAlex Bikes/Flickr

Americans on vacation.

One of the fun things about traveling to different countries is that you not only get to learn about other cultures, but you also learn some things about your own. Americans who travel abroad often learn that people around the world appreciate them for being open, friendly, and good at spreading hope and optimism.

On the other hand, people in other countries can often tell when an American is coming from a mile away because they speak loudly, whether indoors or outdoors. Americans also have a very peculiar body language and are known to lean on things when they have to stand for an extended period.

A Reddit user posed a question in the AskReddit subforum to learn more about how Americans stand out abroad: What's an "obvious" sign that someone is American? The post received more than 35,000 responses, with an overwhelming number of commenters noting that Americans are all smiles and love to make small talk, something most people appreciate.

According to Redditors, here are 15 "obvious" signs that someone is American:

1. They have a unique confidence

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

"Been taught to walk fast, and look worried.. People think you know what you're doing."

2. They're friendly

"I worked as a cashier in a tourist place in Paris, I always recognised Americans because they were kinda friendly to me and they always left tips."

"I guess there are worse things than friendly and generous."

3. Time = distance

"If someone asks how far away something is, an American will tell how you long it takes to get there as opposed to a physical distance."

"It actually pisses off some Americans to give a distance in miles, unless they're calculating gas mileage. In some places, you have to give with and without traffic options. I think it's more valuable info in time than in distance."

4. Grinning at strangers

"The gentle grins you give to strangers if you make eye contact with them as you pass by, at least in the Midwest. was not well received in Germany."

"I dated a European man here in the US. When we walked together, every time I made eye contact with someone on our path I would smile at them, and they would always smile back. Boyfriend was so confused at all these strangers smiling at me. Kept asking if I knew all these people. It was hilarious."

5. They like personal space

"How much personal space they give themselves. Americans like at LEAST an arm's length."

"We're conditioned to fill spaces evenly. I noticed when i worked delivery, spending lots of quality time on elevators that for every new person that enters, everybody shuffles to even things out. Similar thing plays out in social gatherings and bars. Not sure if that's universal or not, but I find it interesting. I think the size of our personal bubbles is because our spaces are generally much larger because we've got the space (heh) to build bigger buildings, sidewalks, roads etc. Might also explain why we're louder. Used to filling larger spaces with volume."

Body language expert Joe Navarro says that among Americans, the social zone for acquaintances and casual interactions is four to 12 feet, while family and close friends stand 1.5 to four feet apart. The intimate zone, for those closest to us, ranges from the skin to about 18 inches.

6. They lean

"According to the CIA, when training to be a spy, you have to unlearn how to lean. Americans tend to lean on things when standing still."

All of this is true, according to Jonna Mendez, the former chief of disguise at the CIA, who has shared some of her tips and tricks for making Americans seem more European. "So we would de-Americanize you," Mendez told NPR. "They think that we are slouchy, a little sloppy. And they think that they can almost see that in our demeanor on the street because they stand up straight. They don't lean on things."

7. They don't have an indoor voice

"I've lived in America for 25 years, and it still irritates me that instead of lowering their voices in restaurants so everyone can hear, Americans just scream over each other and make their restaurants as loud as clubs."

"For some reason, my otherwise smart and wonderful American friends will speak in the same volume, diction, and speed regardless of any outside factor unless specifically asked."

8. Dessert for breakfast

"In my homestay in London, I was told that I was 'so American' for enjoying a piece of cake for breakfast (not frosted cake, but like a nuts and dried fruit spiced coffeecake kind of thing). Apparently, that's exclusively for like a 4 pm snack, and breakfast is more of a savory meal."

"A lot of American breakfast items in my mind are desserts (pancakes, muffins, waffles, etc.). It doesn't mean I won't eat them, but it's kinda weird to do so."

9. They wear their clothes differently

"A British man once told me he knew I was American because I was wearing a baseball cap backwards."

"An Italian told me they could tell I was American because I wore my sunglasses on the top of my head when I wasn't using them."

10. Exposed soles

"While visiting Turkey, I was told that I looked American because I was sitting with one leg across the other, and the bottom of my shoe was exposed. Apparently, it's rude idk."

"In a lot of places outside of the US, showing the bottom of your shoe is rude."

11. Tactical gear

"Tactical sunglasses."

"I'm in the US, and virtually anything marketed towards men has the word 'tactical' in front of it."

12. They love small talk

"I'm from California (though a smallish town), and we wave to neighbors on our road, even if we haven't met, and start conversations in the grocery line with people if the opportunity presents itself. Also, smiling and saying hello to someone you happen to walk by and make eye contact with is quite normal. We are a social species, it would be so weird not to be friendly, even to strangers, for me, and I'm not even that social of a person."

"What really gets me to it is not that Americans do small talk constantly, but the fact that they are so good and fast at it. I mean, I say 'yeah, it's hot,' and they reply with some interesting fact or make a connection to their hometown. I feel less of myself after this. They must have some small talk class in school or some sh*t."

13. They like to point

"I've always observed my US friends like to point at stuff while walking and say what it is…. We were out walking around Amsterdam recently and they were like 'hey look it's a smoke shop'…. 'Oh look a sex shop'…. 'Oh hey, it's a prostitute' …. 'Look at the canal'…. 'Wow it's another prostitute'….. 'another canal' etc etc. It was like watching Netflix with Audio Descriptions turned on."

"You know that little voice inside your head, your internal monologue? Americans seem to monologue their thoughts."

14. Optimism and enthusiasm

"Dunno in all context, but Americans in Europe stand out with their ceaseless optimism and enthusiasm."

"I'm reminded a lot of Ted Lasso. Everyone I know (all Americans) loves the show. I wonder what kind of European fan base it has."

"Americans are so positive and have such a thirst for life. It sickens me."

15. They eat while walking

"When I lived in Europe, people said only Americans eat while walking. I'd be eating a bagel or something on the way to work or class, and multiple people asked if I was American lol."

"Jay Leno said on Top Gear, I think it was, that Americans are also the only people who eat while driving. I don't do this, but I constantly see people who do, haha, especially in LA, where people spend a lot of time in their cars."

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Pets

Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals

Photo credit: Canva

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! 🐶❤️Photo credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Culture

Frugal people share the best money-saving advice from parents and grandparents they still use

"My mother taught me how to compare prices per item or ounce rather than by the package."

frugal, frugal lifestyle, frugal advice, frugal living, money saving tips

Images via Canva/spxChrome, irynakhabliuk

People who live frugal lifestyles share best frugal advice from older generations.

For those with great grandparents, grandparents, and parents from the Greatest Generation (those born 1901 to 1927) and the Silent Generation (those born 1928 to 1945), much can be learned from how to live a frugal lifestyle. These two generations lived through the Great Depression and World War II, two events that forced Americans to become more resourceful due to difficult financial situations, food scarcity, and rations.

Today, people who consider themselves frugal are always looking for more ways to save money. To glean frugal wisdom from older generations that would still be applicable today, one frugal person posed the question on Reddit: "What frugal lesson from your parents or grandparents you still use today?"

And many frugal people offered their best money-saving tips from their relatives that they still use today. From how to save on money to utilities, these are the best frugal tips from Redditors:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Reuse from your kitchen

"My grandma rinsed and reused foil until it crumbled. I rolled my eyes then, now I catch myself doing it. Funny how those 'silly' habits end up smart. Mine also saves glass jars, labeled lids with tape, turned t-shirt into rags, and froze veg scraps for stock. :)" - YourxCherry

"I save butter wrappers in the fridge to use for greasing baking pans. To get everything out of empty condiment bottles, I pour a little vinegar, milk or whatever is fitting, then shake it up and use that for salad dressing or other cooking needs." - so-many-cats

"I love Tostitos salsa jars. Whatever I cook, such as soup, ground beef, pasta, the extras, or leftovers, everything goes into these jars. They are so perfect for portioning. One jar = one person's meal portion. I literally have more than 30 jars, and they are incredibly convenient!" - Proud_Possibility256

"I do not go grocery shopping until my fridge is empty including my freezer zero food waste. I have become very creative with recipes. Saves me money. Always take lunch to work." - Samantha-the-mermaid

"My grandmother took care of her five siblings during the depression after her parents died on .45¢ an hour. I make more money in an hour than she made in a week. She never wasted ANYTHING. She taught me to save bacon grease for seasoning, bread ends for bread pudding, leftovers for soup, and coffee grounds and eggshells for the garden. We didn't carve our pumpkins- we painted them and made pumpkin pie out of it after Halloween." - That-Response-1969

"I sometimes hate it that I am like this, but one of the first odd things that come to mind is labeling bottles of home goods like dish soap, body wash, bars of soap, hand soap, etc. so you know which one lasts the longest after purchase. Keep in my mind, my grandmother grew up during the Great Depression. I also spent a majority of my days with her making food (predominately just standing around doing nothing useful). All of the meals we hold dear to our hearts are actually just frugal meals to stretch out. She would get extremely nervous if she came to your home and there were not canned goods. This is winter in the upper Midwest during the Great Depression to put it into perspective, along with canning and preparing for everything. This is a person that lived by candle light basically. When she finally had a icebox, every last meal had to be frozen. No matter what you made, it had to be able to sit there when necessary. You make no meal that cannot be eaten for three days or frozen solid for the next month. I still live by this routine." - WideRoadDeadDeer95

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Make your money go further

"My mother taught me how to compare prices per item or ounce rather than by the package." - Chicpea09

"My parents always framed purchases by how much time I would have to exchange for the item. So when I was in 6th grade and I wanted a TV for my bedroom and it was $120, I would have to do 6 to 10ish baby sitting jobs - then ask myself is it worth that exchange. This is still how I frame most purchases." - BagNo349

"My grandfather told me as a teenager that debt is how other people control you. I didn't realize how true this was until my early 20s when I got into mild debt problems. Since then I have been majorly debt averse." - Egon88

"Mine told me if you cant pay the milkman 6pence this week, how will you pay him 12pence next week? Lesson learned. I pay my bills on time ALWAYS." - Mundane_Sail_4155

"My dad always said it's not a deal if you can't afford it. Of course he didn't have slickdeals either lol." - JasonG5

"My grandpa always said ‘Pay yourself first.’ Even when money was tight, he’d stash $5–10 in savings before paying bills. I thought it was silly but that habit built a nice cushion over time." - samdaz712

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Save on utilities and living expenses

"I hang dry my clothing whenever possible. I find it strangely relaxing to stand outside and carefully hang everything up so it has good airflow. It reminds me of helping my grandmother hang out laundry on their farm. The only thing I changed was painting the tips of my clothespins so I can see them better and don’t forget them on the line accidentally." - SpecificSkunk

"MAINTAIN and REPAIR what you already own. Lubricate, tighten, clean. Change filters. Replace belts. Flush. Air out. Condition. Resurface. Store properly. Take care of your stuff." - i_know_tofu

"I patch and repair clothes that can be repaired instead of immediately buying new. For instance, we have a comforter that has gotten holes from the washing machine - cheap materials. I'm learning the Japanese art of Shashiko to patch it over my Thanksgiving week break. I find a used item instead of buying new immediately, when our dryer went out, I bought one from an estate sale for the same price as repairing the old one would have cost (and since it was on it's 3rd repair - heavy eye roll on cheaply made crap - I don't feel so bad. I line dry a lot of things. Not everything but a lot." - LeftwingSH

"I put on hoodies and blankets and refuse to turn the heater on until the outside temps are about 45 degrees." - thedoc617

"How to drive in order to maximize your miles per gallon and reduce wear and tear on the car. Accelerate slowly and try to keep under 2 RPMs. Leave a wide berth between yourself and other cars. Anticipate traffic/stopping, then let off the gas and cruise. Don't ride the brakes." - OrdinarySubstance491

This article originally appeared last year

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Pets

Veterinarian shares 7 signs a cat loves you, even if it seems like they couldn't care less

What looks like aloof behavior in cats is often a sign of love.

cats, pets, veterinarian, cat behavior, kitties

Photo credit: Canva

Cats don't always show their affection in the way we expect.

One of the reasons so many people love dogs is that they usually make their bond with their favorite humans quite clear. Dogs wear their loyalty and affinity on their sleeve, whereas cats are a bit more...aloof.

Sure, some cats are affectionate little cuddle bugs, but many cats seem as if they couldn't care less about anyone, and even the snuggly ones can't be coaxed into affection if they're not into it at the moment. That doesn't mean they aren't feeling or expressing love, though. Some of the behaviors that make cats appear bored or disinterested are actually signs that they like you.

Dr. Sarah Wooten, a small animal veterinarian, shared a list of 7 signs that a cat loves you with Cats.com, and it might make cat owners feel better about their feline friendships.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. Slow Blinking

When a cat sits across from you and stares at you with sleepy-looking eyes, blinking slowly, it might seem like they're bored or tired. But those slow blinks are actually how they communicate peace and connection. "If you're seeing that with your cat, they love you," says Dr. Wooten.

2. Lap Sitting

One of our cats loves to sit in our laps, but only with her head facing away from us, which feels a bit impersonal. We'll take it, though, since sitting in our laps is apparently a sign of love.

"Not all cats love a large amount of body contact, petting, and things like that with humans," says Dr. Wooten. "Remember every cat is individual…but if your cat is a touchy-feely cat and loves to be touched by humans, then sitting in your lap for an extended period of time is definitely a sign that your cat loves and trusts you."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Cat sitting in a woman's lapPhoto credit: Canva

3. Present Dropping

If you've never had a cat bring you a dead mouse or the head of a bird or some other disgusting offering, consider yourself lucky. However, if you have, you should also consider yourself lucky, as it means your cat loves you. "Even though to us humans it seems pretty unsavory, to your cat it is a sign of love and dedication," says Wooten. Of course, it's not always dead animals—sometimes cats might bring you inanimate objects they've collected (which makes you doubly lucky).

4. Kneading Biscuits

The rhythmic kneading cats do on blankets, pillows, or their humans is a behavior that mimics what they did while nursing as kittens. "It's just a leftover instinctual thing that they do when they feel super happy and super connected," says Wooten. "So if your cat makes biscuits when they're near you, that is a sign of love and connection."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Cat making biscuitsPhoto credit: Canva

5. Purring

This one might seem like a no-brainer, but purring doesn't always mean affection. Cats purr for many reasons, including happiness or contentment, but also for pain or sickness.

"But if your cat's just hanging out at home and they're near you, and suddenly you hear the motor go on, that's a pretty good sign that they love you," says Wooten.

6. Rubbing or "Bunting"

If a cat comes up and rubs its face or body on you, that's a sign of love and connection. It's called bunting, and essentially, it's how the cat marks you as "theirs."

"Cats have scent markers in their paws, they have them on their face…and they also have them on the base of their tail," says Wooten. "So what cats will often do is they will rub their paws or their face or their tail on the people that they love and consider to be their property."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Who knew yawning and stretching could be a sign of love?Photo credit: Canva

7. Yawning and Stretching

Much like slow blinking, yawning, and stretching may easily be mistaken for sleepiness, but there's often more to it than that. It's a sign that they are comfy around you. "Especially if they're sleeping, if they see you [and] suddenly they get up, maybe they meow at you and then they yawn and they stretch, they get everything all good and feeling good, and then they come hang out with you, it's a sign of love," says Wooten. "That's a sign that they're very comfortable and that they're very happy to see you."

Cats may appear to be standoffish or only affectionate when they feel like it, but it could be that they are showing you they love you in ways that you might not recognize. Cats can be a lot harder to read than dogs, but they really do love us—just not always in the ways we expect.

This article originally appeared last year

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Health

12 photos of women before and after an orgasm shines a new light on women's sexual wellness

"We hope that everyone viewing this project will feel more confident about their bodies and sexuality."

Marcos Alberti

Imagine if this kind of joy had a bigger place in the world.

You might recall Marcos Alberti's mega-viral "3 Glasses" project from 2016, in which he photographed people after they had consumed one, two, and then three glasses of wine. The series was impactful in part because it showed the physical transformation that comes from being relaxed after some wine. That, and it touched on a common curiosity. Haven’t we all wondered if we look as different as we feel after getting a little tipsy? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes.)

Using a very similar format to “3 Glasses,” as well as the elements of lightheartedness, novelty, and rawness that made it so special, Alberti utilizes his photography to delve into a topic much less discussed: women’s sexual wellness.

The concept is simple: photograph women before, during, and after an orgasm. You can see why he calls this the “O” project.

Despite the subject matter, Alberti assures viewers that the intention wasn’t to be explicit, or even erotic, for that matter. The 20+ women who participated, of varying ethnicities and varying levels of sexually liberated versus conservative countries of origin, were completely covered below the waist while using personal massagers.

“The underlying message: all women deserve to be in control of their sexuality, no matter their background. Women should be free to be empowered by–and have a little fun with–their sexuality,” Alberti wrote on his website.

Similarly, Fan Yang, Global Brand Manager of Smile Makers (a sexual wellbeing brand that partnered with Alberti for this project) noted that the goal was to break through stigma and show female pleasure in a positive, healthy light. The hope is that not only society normalizes female pleasure, but that women themselves connect to their sexuality without “shame and secrecy.”

Given that all the women who participated were “in awe” seeing themselves “glowing and radiant” in their final photo, as Yang put it, it feels safe to say mission: accomplished.

Take a look:

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

In a video posted to YouTube, we get a behind-the-scenes look at Alberti’s process. Welcoming the models in, setting up his camera behind a curtain for privacy, talking them through the process, making them feel safe and comfortable, etc.

We also get to see the “awe” that Yang spoke of. It’s palpable.

“Initially, I was still apprehensive… [with] a lot of worry. And this one [referring to the final image] is like “Ha! Life is beautiful!” one woman shared, grinning ear-to-ear.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

We can talk ad nauseam about how women’s pleasure shouldn’t be a taboo subject, about how it’s a natural, vital part of her overall wellbeing, how it can lead to better mood, heart health, immune function, sleep, intimacy, self-esteem…yadda, yadda yadda…but there’s nothing like actually witnessing its semi-miraculous powers firsthand. It’s one of the things that make photography so powerful. We feel something raw and honest on a visceral level, so that we can THEN talk about it with empathy and understanding. It’s clear that Alberti knows this on a deep level and is using that knowledge for something truly good.

Be sure to follow Alberti (@marcos_alberti ) on Instagram to keep up-to-date with all his work.

This article originally appeared last year

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wellness