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Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.

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Image from Pixabay.

Big smiles in class at kindergarten.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important. From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.

It can be a little stressful. But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's what they found.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

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Meeting high expectations...

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

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Adam Sandler helps out a friend dealing with a stressful situations.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

Adam Sandler GIF of getting his groove on.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

But what does it all mean?

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Rare clip of the Bee Gees singing 'How Deep Is Your Love' a cappella somehow tops the original

Three brothers, no instruments, and pure magic.

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via Edu Seijas/YouTube

The Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

Not all live performances are created equal, but when the circumstances and the talent are just right, they can far surpass studio recordings. In 1998, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O'Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep Is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a cappella.

Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Connor, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

- YouTube youtu.be

Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Supastar” by Pras of The Fugees.

Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

You can watch the entire performance here:

- YouTube youtu.be

The Gibb brothers started making music together when they were children, and after their first public appearance together at a local movie theater in 1956, they were hooked on performing.

“It was the feeling of standing in front of an audience that was so amazing," said Barry. "We’d never seen anything like it. We were very young, but it made an enormous impression. We didn’t want to do anything else but make music.”

After the family moved to Australia in 1958, Barry, Maurice, and Robin were "discovered" at the Redcliffe Speedway, where they had asked to perform between races. Even over the tinny PA system, their harmonies made an impression. Speedway manager Bill Goode introduced the trio to DJ Bill Gates, who set them up with a recording session.

the bee gees, gibb brothers, maurice, barry, robin gibb Stayin Alive GIF by Bee Gees Giphy

If you've ever wondered how the Bee Gees got their name, that was it: Bill Goode, Bill Gates, Barry Gibb, and the brothers' mother Barbara Gibb all had the initials B.G. After a strong reception on the airwaves in Brisbane, Gates forwarded the brothers' recordings to a Sydney radio station. They got a lot of airtime there as well, and the band had a run of success performing in Australia, but it wasn't until their return to England in 1967 that they became the international sensation we all know today.

Manager Robert Stigwood had received tapes from the Gibbs brothers and called them up within weeks of their arrival in the U.K.

“I loved their composing,” Stigwood told Rolling Stone in 1977. “I also loved their harmony singing. It was unique, the sound they made; I suppose it was a sound only brothers could make.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

And, as they say, the rest is history. The award-winning 2020 HBO documentary, "The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" tells the story of the band with loads of footage from throughout their 40-year career, which includes not only their disco-era fame, but the various phases of their musical journey and the countless songs they wrote for other artists.

As one commenter wrote, "People that call the Bee Gees a 'disco group' don't have a clue. They had 10 albums out before they ventured into 'disco.' Their song catalogue is amazing and some of their very best songs were written long before Saturday Night Fever. Those 'disco' songs are classics as well. It is nice to see they are finally getting the recognition they deserve."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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European woman shares 11 unexpected realizations after living in America for 6 months

"The United States is the most beautiful country in the world."

living the the us, living in europe, europe vs usa, travel, europe, road trip, driving
Photo credit: Canva

Road trip adventure through stunning mountain landscapes.

Sometimes it takes an outsider’s eyes to remind us what makes our home special.

Eva zu Beck, a traveler on YouTube, was born in Poland, grew up in England, and lived in a variety of European countries throughout her life. Hence why she says she’s “as European as it gets.”

So when she spent six months traveling in the United States, it was definitely a different experience. In a recent video, she shared what some of those “cultural shocks” were. Sure, there were some expected things in there (our car-centric culture, outrageous tipping practices, the neverending-ness of Texas, etc.) but also some lovely unexpected things as well.

Most surprisingly of all, it was anything but a "dump on America"-fest. Instead, it was chock full of lighthearted, positive realizations.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Here are some of the most interesting ones:

1. Everybody smiles

“And gives you random compliments!” said zu Beck, recalling the random strangers that would yell “nice tattoo!” from across the street.

2. Bonkers date formats

“That makes no sense, surely you should go from smallest, to biggest, right? Day, month, year.”

3. Being able to turn right on a red light

“I can't tell you how many cars have…honked at me…before I realized I could do it.”

4. All way crossroads

“It’s super confusing, like a big mental workout. In Europe, the person that’s on the right always has priority, that’s it.”

5. Guns aren’t quite as prevalent as they seem

“I thought I would see guns everywhere. Every Walmart would sell guns. However, they are more common than in Europe.”

6. Politics is in the American psyche, but it's not being talked about 24/7

Zu Beck noted that while she was surprised that she was constantly hearing conversations about politics, “the way you have regular conversations in the US heavily indicated one’s political leanings. Or, ya know, what giant sign they put on their fence."

7. Good American food exists…if you’re willing to pay a little extra

According to zu Beck, America has both the best and the worst food. Quality food could certainly be found, at a higher price point, at places like Whole Foods. However, it's worth noting that zu Beck also follows a “mostly vegan diet.” The odds of finding quality vegan food is probably even harder than for most of us omnivores.

8. Montana, Wyoming, and Central Nevada are awesome

“So much nature, space and beauty,” recalls zu Beck, noting that these were her favorite places to see.

9. Yellowstone National Park, on the other hand…not so much

Zu beck likened it to a “massive glorified parking lot” and “nature Disney-fied,” though she also recognized she went during a peak tourist time.

10. It makes sense now why so many Americans don’t travel

According to zu Beck, many Europeans make fun of Americans for not being cultured and well-traveled. But after seeing the “sheer diversity of the country” she gets it now. There’s already so much to see here in our own backyard.

11. She would “1000%” live here

“Some people love it. Some people hate it, [but] to me the United States is the most beautiful country in the world. It really is.”

Down in the comments, Americans shared how touching it was to hear zu Beck’s overall positive assessment.

“It’s so refreshing to hear foreigners say they love my home.”

“I just want to say thank you for such kind words. We have issues in our country for sure and we often times only hear the negative from other countries but what you said was absolutely a breathe of fresh air. Thank you.”

“As an American, sometimes we can get so focused on all of the negatives that we see in the country...it is so refreshing to have an outsider's view. I have been fortunate enough to have lived, traveled and worked in many other countries, and when I come back to the States I am re-astonished by its sheer beauty and amazing cultural diversity. Thanks for the reminder,.”

“As an American, it was refreshing to hear an unbiased view from an open-minded European about your experiences without just being the usual slam of the negatives. America definitely has a unique culture (outside of the big cities) and there's plenty of beauty if you actually travel through our beautiful nation without just looking for the usual negatives pushed through mainstream news and the ‘haters.’ Thank you!”

Zu Beck's takeaway isn't that America is perfect—far from it. But in her eyes, it’s still one of the most beautiful, surprising, and welcoming places she’s ever been. That alone feels like something many of us need to hear right now.

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51-year-old empty nester who struggled to declutter her house shares 8 tips that finally worked

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house."

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips
Photo credit: Canva

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.

"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

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Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

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Rainn Wilson's new creative tool for exploring spirituality is refreshingly inclusive

It takes you on a deeply comprehensive and delightfully creative spiritual journey, no matter your faith background or belief.

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Courtesy of Soul Boom/Instagram

The Soul Boom Workbook is deeply comprehensive and delightfully creative.

Sometimes the best things come from the most unexpected of places. Like, who would imagine a comedic actor who played the iconic beet-farming paper salesman Dwight Schrute on The Office would come up with a creative tool to help people explore their own spirituality?

Rainn Wilson isn't exactly new to talking about the soul. He co-founded the Soul Pancake media company in 2009, spent years having philosophical discussions in his Metaphysical Milkshake series, wrote a whole book during the pandemic about the need for a global "spiritual revolution," and created his current Soul Boom Podcast out of that book in which he interviews all kinds of people from all faiths and spiritual paths to have meaningful conversations.

But his newest offering feels different. Instead of giving us something to consume and then reflect on, his Soul Boom Workbook: Spiritual Tools for Modern Living is a hands-on, interactive, deeply comprehensive, delightfully creative tool to help us personally explore our own spirituality and figure out how our own spiritual transformation can also transform the world.

Wilson tells Upworthy that the idea for the workbook was born out of the response to the Soul Boom book. "When I, a former sitcom actor, decided to write a book about spirituality, there were a lot of question marks," he says. "Would people respond? Would they like it? Would they laugh me out of Hollywood?"

However, the response to the New York Times bestseller was "overwhelmingly positive."

"People seem to be hungry for spiritual paths and wisdom more and more as various systems start to unravel," Wilson says. "The response was so strong. And part of it was like, 'Well, what do we do if we want a spiritual revolution? If we want to find a spiritual path, and truth, and harness the kind of ancient wisdom traditions from the world's great faith traditions on our journey forward?' And that's when the idea of a Soul Boom workbook was born."

soul boom, rainn wilson, spirituality, spiritual workbook, faith and religion Soul Boom Workbook: Spiritual Tools for Modern LivingScreenshots courtesy of Rainn Wilson

Wilson and his co-creator, Shabnam Mogharabi, wanted to create an interactive place for a person to take a spiritual journey, either by themselves or with others in their lives who are interested in connecting on a deeper level. They also wanted it to connect spirituality and creativity.

"We wanted to give people an experience that I had years ago when I did The Artist's Way," Wilson explains. "That was a really important book for me, and it has been for dozens of people that I know. This classic workbook about creativity, which also has spiritual elements in it, has been revolutionary. It has sold millions of copies and allowed people to kind of undertake a creative journey that they didn't know was possible."

soul boom, rainn wilson, spirituality, spiritual workbook, faith and religion The workbook includes all kinds of activities designed to get you reflecting on all aspects of spirituality.Screenshots courtesy of Rainn Wilson

The workbook includes drawings, essays, reflective writing exercises, doodles, games—there's even section where you create a stand-up comedy act. Whatever you imagine a "spiritual workbook" might be, this is likely more. Tackling concepts like God ("The Notorious G.O.D."), faith and religion, meditation and prayer, values and morals, tests and difficulties, death and dying, creating community and a better world, and more, the Soul Boom Workbook is incredibly comprehensive. And it feels unique in that anyone from any background or belief, no matter how devout or skeptical, can utilize it to explore what they find divine or sacred, what parts of their beliefs might need to be challenged or "excavated," and how they can contribute to building a better world.

The "guy who played Dwight" may seem like an unlikely source of spiritual wisdom, but thankfully, Wilson doesn't claim to be that at all. He is not a guru offering enlightenment or an academic pontificating on the meaning of existence; he's simply someone who has run the spiritual seeker gauntlet himself, who has a deep and abiding interest in exploring this stuff, and who offers a refreshingly down-to-earth, accessible, and inclusive way of talking about it all.

Wilson says his favorite thing about the workbook is how it starts off intensely personally but then takes you on a journey that expands and expands into exploring how you can apply your spiritual "superpowers" to create a more just, kind, and loving world. Ultimately, it's all about exploring spiritual tools for personal and social transformation.

"I would love it if someone started the workbook in a certain place and finished it at a very different place, and that it actually affected their lives in a transformational way," Wilson says. "Could you do a book, and by the end of it be a different person? Or at least see the world in a slightly different way at the end of this process?"

You can find Soul Boom Workbook: Spiritual Tools for Modern Living here.


As a participant in the Amazon Associates affiliate program, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

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Here's why the world's strangest traffic light in Japan only turns green one day a year

Everyone waits until a special day in May, when it finally turns green.

himakajima stoplight, traffic light, street corner, octopus, japan, japanese island
via Flickr

The Himakajima traffic light.

The island of Himakajima, a few dozen kilometers south of Nagoya in between Ise Bay and Mikawa Bay, Japan, is home to around 2,000 residents. It’s best known for its picturesque beaches and local delicacy, octopus. The dish is so famous in the town that it even has cute pictures of it emblazoned on its manhole covers. Himakajima is also known for its one stoplight that blinks yellow for 364.25 days of the year.

Himakajima doesn’t really need any stoplights because the tiny island sees very little foot or car traffic. However, the children who grow up on the island may not live there forever; many will grow up to attend schools or find jobs on the mainland. So it’s important that they know how to cross a street with a traffic light, or they could get seriously injured.

The Himakajima traffic light

In 1994, at the request of the local Himaka Traffic Safety Association, stoplights were installed on the east side of the island so the town’s children could practice crossing the street like they would in a big city. The light blinks yellow most of the time, so when it becomes fully operational, it’s a real event in the city.

- YouTube youtu.be

Every year in May, the town’s teachers, children, parents, and officials gather near its East Port and the stoplight becomes fully operational, cycling through red, yellow, and green lights.

Last year, on May 21, the kids congregated at the light and practiced looking left, right, and left again before crossing the street. To be extra sure that other pedestrians and motorists know they are crossing, they hold their hands high in the air so they’re sure to be seen.

According to SoraNews24, one girl told reporters that things got “tricky” when she was walking her bike across the zebra strips and the light turned red. It goes to show that kids need to know not only when to walk but also how quickly to do so.

The annual children’s crossing has become so popular that people planning to visit the island often hunt online to catch wind of when the stoplight will be fully operational. After the special day, the light reverts to its blinking yellow state, encouraging everyone to proceed with caution until sometime the next May.

himakajima stoplight, traffic light, street corner, octopus, japan, japanese island The Himakajima traffic light.via Google Maps

The official Green Light Day in Himakajima is a beautiful example of how, even in the smallest of communities, parents and teachers find a way to help their children prepare for the real world. It’s a testament to the community's importance of safety and learning through real-life experience. A lesson in class where the teacher holds up a red or green light sign may give kids a vague notion of how to cross the street in a big city, but getting to travel to see the real light and trying to judge how quickly to move across the street is a lesson the kids will never forget.

Further, for the vast majority of us who live in towns where streetlights are commonplace, it’s refreshing to see a community gather around something that we take for granted.

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