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Health

How abortion ban exceptions muddy ethical care for pregnant patients

"How imminent must death be?"

woman in a doctor's office getting an ultrasound

Obstetricians are facing impossible dilemmas with abortion care in some states.

When the Dobbs decision overturned Roe v. Wade in the summer of 2022, experts warned that there would be medical consequences. Politicians have made abortion a black-and-white issue when it's a vast ocean of gray, and doctors are now stuck in dilemma after dilemma in states like Tennessee, which enacted some of the strictest abortion laws in the nation in the wake of Dobbs.

In Tennessee, it is now a Class C felony to perform an abortion. Exceptions are made for rape and incest, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, and if "the abortion was necessary to prevent the death of the pregnant woman or to prevent serious risk of substantial and irreversible impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant woman."

But as OB-GYN Sarah Osmundson explained on Radio Atlantic, that last exception is "very gray." Working as a maternal-fetal specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, Osmundson serves on the abortion committee that decides whether a doctor has the green light to perform an abortion to save a mother's life or bodily function. In an interview with Hanna Rosin, Dr. Osmundson shared how making those calls can feel like an impossible task as providers walk the line between ethical care and the threat of legal action.

Osmundson explained that it's unclear what the exceptions to the law even mean because there's no predictable line for when a patient will cross over into imminent death or permanent injury. "It is a continuum of risk," she said. "Where is the cut point that we have to decide some aspect of risk is too high?"

Some cases are cut-and-dried, she said, but others present a conundrum for those who are tasked with assessing whether the risk to a mother's life or health is high enough to warrant an abortion. There are no clear thresholds, especially since risk assessment isn't an exact science.

She offered an example of a patient who has diabetes combined with an autoimmune condition, but they're both currently well managed, on top of kidney disease.

"You know, these are the kind of cases where we’re really trying to guess at: What is their risk of death or serious morbidity?" she said. "And even when I see these patients in the office, like, I can’t sit down with them and say, Your risk is X percent. I don’t have data to drive that individual case. Maybe their risk of serious problems in pregnancy is like 5 percent."

Osmundson pointed out that some patients choose not to screen for chromosomal abnormalities with an amniocentesis because there's a 0.1% risk of complication and they decide it's not worth the risk. "So we don’t do certain things because of very low risk. How am I to say that a risk of 5 percent is too low of a risk?" she asked.

Dr. Lisa Harris, an OB-GYN and professor at the University of Michigan, posed a similar questions to NPR shortly after the Dobbs decision was announced.

"How imminent must death be?" Harris asked. "There are many conditions that people have that when they become pregnant, they're OK in early pregnancy, but as pregnancy progresses, it puts enormous stress on all of the body's organ systems – the heart, the lungs, the kidneys. So they may be fine right now – there's no life-threatening emergency now – but three or four or five months from now, they may have life-threatening consequences."

Osmundson gave a specific example along those lines that posed a problem for some doctors on her committee. A woman was 14 weeks pregnant with a fetus that had no skull, which meant it had no chance of survival but an increased risk of excessive amniotic fluid, which could threaten the mother's life. Osmundson thought the case warranted an abortion, but others on the committee wouldn't commit, with one saying they weren't "brave enough."

The doctors were concerned about the way the decision would be scrutinized and the potential legal consequences if someone brought the case to court. Dr. Louise King, an OB-GYN at Boston's Brigham and Women's Hospital, had warned of this scenario when Roe v. Wade was overturned.

"Laws will exist that ask [physicians] to deprioritize the person in front of them and to act in a way that is medically harmful," King told NPR. "And the penalty for not doing so will be loss of license, money loss, potentially even criminal sanctions."

The reality Osmundson described in the Radio Atlantic interview demonstrates how prescient that warning truly was.

"I feel like I’m making a decision thinking about: How would our attorney general interpret this? How would the optics appear? And it makes me feel really uncomfortable, as a physician, that I’m considering care for the optics, rather than for what is right and best for the patient," she said.

Legal abortion ban exceptions like "to prevent the death of the pregnant woman or to prevent serious risk of substantial and irreversible impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant woman" may sound straightforward to the average person, in the reality of medicine, it's not. Doctors aren't magicians or oracles, they don't have a crystal ball that tells them if a patient is going to live or die or be irreparably harmed—they make their best guesses based on their deep well of knowledge and experience, which lawyers and politicians deciding on legal boundaries don't have. Abortion restrictions and exceptions like Tennessee's force doctors to think as lawyers and lawyers to think as doctors when they don't have the training for it, all while people's lives hang in the balance.

The ambiguity in risk thresholds also makes these legal questions impossible to navigate. As Osmundson pointed out, a 5% risk is actually quite high, especially when it's your own life on the line. That's a hard enough choice for a person to make for themselves, much less a choice we should expect a doctor to make for someone based on political decisions and legal judgments made by people with no experience in the intricacies of medicine.

The challenges are even causing some doctors to leave states where they feel they can't care for patients properly. Kylie Cooper, MD was a maternal-fetal specialist who moved from Idaho to Minnesota in the wake of the Dobbs decision.

“My husband and I would talk about this every day. It was consuming us,” she told the AAMC. “What if I lost my license? What would happen to our kids if I went to jail? What about my guilt if I didn’t help a sick patient to my fullest ability? It was a nightmare. I didn’t feel I could remain a health care provider in a place where I couldn’t help a patient sitting right in front of me. It was unbearable.”

And for many, it doesn't seem to be a matter of making the law clearer. There are simply too many factors on an individual patient basis for more clarity in the law to even be possible, much less helpful, while also preserving a doctor's ethical standards of care.

So what's the answer?

The simplest answer is medical privacy—the protection that was provided by Roe. v. Wade—which was argued for and passed by the majority of Republican-nominated Supreme Court Justices, by the way—for doctors and patients together to decide on healthcare decisions without government interference. We were warned by doctors of what would happen when abortion laws were left fully up to each state, and now we're seeing those consequences play out in state after state.

After going through various challenging scenarios, Osmundson summed up the crux of the issue with two questions that every person ought to consider: "Do you want your cancer doctor to be considering the opinion of an attorney general when they’re making recommendations about your cancer care? Why would you want those kind of external things involved in your care during pregnancy?"

Listen to Dr. Osmundson's enlightening Radio Atlantic interview here.

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

@susandoingsusanthings/TikTok

Though this image might infuriate you, know there's more to the story.

We’ve probably all (especially moms and wives) have had it up to here with stories of men not being able to really pull their weight in partnerships.

So when I present to you a story about a husband leaving behind a sink full of dirty dishes for his wife to find, you’d probably sooner roll your eyes and contemplate hopping over to Instagram instead than give this one a read.

But hold on just a second, because this story has a surprising hopeful twist.

In a now-viral TikTok post, a wife named Susan shows the mess she woke up to the morning after her husband had friends over to watch a game.

She was initially fuming as she approached the disarray. That is, until she saw the note her husband left behind, saying “I got it!”

For Susan, this changed everything. Her husband acknowledged his mess, communicated that awareness with his wife, and didn’t leave it assuming someone else would take care of it. Which, in turn, made her feel seen and looked out for.

“I just love that he acknowledges that [he] left a mess in the sink, and don't worry, he'll take responsibility for it, but anyways, we've come so far,” Susan says in the clip.

@susandoingsusanthings Leaving a simple note instantly made me not care about the dishes in the sink!! I love communication and we have come so far!! #susandoingsusanthings #marriedlife #marriage #marriagehumor #marriagegoals #marriagecomedy #marriagelife ♬ original sound - SusanDoingSusanThings

Many viewers agreed that this small shift made a world of difference.

“I love this. Like he was tired and didn’t want to do it but knows you shouldn’t have to. What ace communication and all it took was a post-it” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “It’s that easy!!! Like do I want to do the dishes after hosting? Heck no. Let me sleep and I’ll do it in the morning. But the note changes it ALL 🥰.”

On the other hand, many people were still left frustrated, arguing that expectations were still far too low if this simple gesture is receiving such applause.

One person even lamented, “That big sigh and you’ve come so far, I wonder how many fights it took 😫,” to which Susan replied, “We’ve been together for 20 years… Fight = growth.”

She also reiterated that the purpose of the post was to show in real-time how healthy, thoughtful communication between partners can help transform even the most menial task into a positive, even relationship-fortifying, experience.

And that is probably the biggest, most beneficial takeaway to lean into here. Ongoing communication difficulties is listed as the number one cause of divorce, even beating out infidelity. Yes, of course, moms are tired of being the default parents and wives are tired of pulling double duty, but if this story is any indicator, they are also yearning for their partners to meet them halfway on the communication front as well.

And as we can see, even the smallest gestures make big impacts.

In case anyone was wondering: Susan's husband did do the dishes the next day. ❤️


This article originally appeared last year.

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

Airport staff track down footage of woman's last moments with dad

After a woman lost her father suddenly, she remembered their last moments together were in an airport hugging goodbye so she reached out to see if they were willing to locate the footage. It was a day like any other day for Megan Cyr. The Canadian woman was visiting her father in due to fly back home from Winnipeg to Calgary only to miss her flight due to a mix up in time.

This seeming moment of misfortune turned out to be a gift of extra time with her dad before he died. She writes, "On December 28, 2020, I was set to leave Winnipeg and head to Calgary. However, I misread my departure time. My flight was at 7:00 AM, not 7:00 PM, as I had told my parents. I woke up that morning to realize the flight had already departed."


Cyr wasn't too concerned about the mix up in time. It was an easy fix with a quick call to the airline to get on a flight leaving the following day. Her extra day at home was a pleasant surprise for her dad as he was expecting her to already be back at her own home when he finished his shift at work. The pair spent the evening playing board games before she needed to head back to the airport in the morning.

Due to a delicious carry-on package that Cyr didn't want to see tossed in the trash if security wouldn't let it through, her dad hung back right out side the security checkpoint. He was on breakfast burrito rescue duty and took his job very seriously.


"My dad patiently waited to ensure no burrito was wasted. I gave him a thumbs-up once they went through the scanner, and that was the last time I saw him alive," Cyr shares.

That last goodbye was etched in the grieving daughter's memory. Knowing how special it was and likely never wanting to forget it, Cyr decided to take a chance and reach out to Winnipeg Richardson International Airport where she and her father had their last moments together. The woman knew the request for security footage was a long shot so after she sent the email she didn't think much about awaiting a response.


But to Cyr's delight she heard back, sharing, "every few days, I received an email from someone at the airport. I remember one stating the request had been moved to Upper Management and that there was hope. After a few exchanges, on January 20, 2021, I was gifted the video of our final moment together."

Thanks to the kindness and determination of Winnipeg airport staff, a grieving daughter has an unimaginable priceless gift–the gift of seeing her last embrace with her father. Cyr says while she'd much rather have her dad instead of a video that she will be forever grateful for the kindness of strangers.

"There is no logical reason I should have a video of our last goodbye. Typically, those moments are granted when we can anticipate someone’s death," Cyr writes, but the video of her getting an extra squeeze from her dad will be cherished forever.

A woman who is frustrated with her name.

It’s fair to blame parents if they give their child a name and the initials spell out something unseemly or embarrassing. They should have considered this before giving the child the name. However, you can’t blame someone with funny initials after getting married because no one will reject the love of their life for having a last name that starts with the wrong letter.

A woman shared that she can’t stand her initials because she can’t wear monogrammed clothing. "[My initials] are the bane of my existence, and I can never have traditional monogramming (first, last, middle) without it being a sandwich." Yes, her initials, in the traditional monogram form, are BLT. They are a tasty option for lunch but probably not something you’d want on a fancy necklace or bathrobe. She also refuses to eat the sandwich. "Raw tomatoes are disgusting to me personally,” she adds.

Why is it that in traditional monogram form, a married woman’s initials are different than if she was writing them first, middle, and last? “A monogrammed gift for a woman should include her first, middle, and last initial or, if she is married, her first, maiden name, and married name initials. Traditionally, a woman's monogram is presented in first, last, and middle initial order,” The Monogram merchant writes.

For example, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy would have a traditional monogram of JKB.



Some commenters shared their initials, and many were worse than BLT.

"My friend's is AIDS, so dont worry, i remember in secondary school having to sew our initials on pillows for home economics. I felt bad for her."

"I’m D.M.B. - all I’m missing is the U."

"Mine are TB.... just as unappealing haha."

"My initials are BS, so don't feel bad. I get cracked on all the time."

"Hubs initials are ET. Cue 'ET phone home,' circa the '80s from all his so called friends at work."



"My initials are RAD, lol."

"I knew a girl with the initials PMS, I think food is better than that."

"Mine happen to spell 'ELF', and I hated it as a kid. Now I embrace it, lol."

"My brother’s are R.A.T. He kinda embraced it, an animal lover and all."

"I'm APE lol."



It was once believed that having unfortunate initials meant more than suffering the occasional embarrassment—they could take years off your life. In 1999, a study found that men with positive initials, such as WOW or JOY, lived 4.5 years longer than those with neutral initials, while those with negative initials, such as DIE or ROT, died 2.8 years later.

The idea was that people with negative initials subconsciously think less of themselves, which could lead to an unhealthy lifestyle compared to someone with positive initials. However, six years later, that study was debunked by a subsequent study that found there is “no persuasive biological theory of how longevity should be significantly affected by initials."

Pamela Redmond Satran, author of "Baby Names Now," says we should still consider initials when naming children.

"Every conventional naming book gives the guideline, 'Don't forget to look at the initials,'" Satran said, according to CBS News. "Even if the second study contradicts the first, and having bad initials is not going to shorten your life span, it could make what there is of your life less pleasant. And who wants to foist that on innocent children?"