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How I found my life's passion by asking myself these ridiculous questions.

'What's your favorite flavor of shit sandwich, and does it come with an olive?'

One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that one day he was going to be a senator.

My mom probably gave him the “That’s nice, dear,” treatment while I’m sure I was distracted by a bowl of Cheerios or something.

Photo via iStock.


But for 15 years, this purpose informed all my brother’s life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he connected with, and even what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

And, now, after almost half a lifetime of work , he’s the chairman of a major political party in his city and the youngest judge in the state. In the next few years, he hopes to run for office for the first time.

Don’t get me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business, it wasn’t until I was 28 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through: “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?” I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shaky logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here’s the truth: We exist on this Earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time, we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

When people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

This is an infinitely better question to ask. It’s far more manageable and it doesn’t have all the ridiculous baggage the “life purpose” question has. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you.

One of the most common email questions I get is people asking me what they should do with their lives, what their “life purpose” is. This is an impossible question for me to answer. After all, for all I know this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or filming gay bondage porn in their basement. I have no clue. Who am I to say what’s right or what’s important to them?

Photo via iStock.

After some research, I put together a series of questions to help people figure out for themselves what is important to them and what can add more meaning to their lives.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they’re a little bit ridiculous. But I made them that way because discovering purpose in our lives should be something that’s fun and interesting, not a chore.

1. What's your favorite flavor of shit sandwich, and does it come with an olive?

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would you like to eat? Because here’s the sticky little truth about life that they don’t tell you at high school pep rallies: Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic of me. And you may be thinking, “Hey, Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside-down.”

But I actually think this is a liberating idea.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all the time. So the question becomes: What struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds — if not thousands — of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer but can’t stand the 80-hour work weeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.

What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to have people laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years?

What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually. Might as well pick one with an olive.

2. What is true about you today that would make your 8-year-old self cry?

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself writing away about aliens, superheroes, great warriors, my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if we’re rewarded for it in some way.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn’t until I started my business that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites — something I did in my early teens just for fun.

The funny thing, though, is that if my 8-year-old self had asked my 20-year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied, “Because I’m not good at it” or “Because nobody would read what I write” or “Because you can’t make money doing that,” not only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old version of myself would have probably started crying.

3. What makes you forget to eat and poop?

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner.”

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it was kind of a problem for many years. I would sit and play video games instead of doing more important things, like studying for an exam, showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn’t until I gave up the games that I realized my passion wasn’t for the games themselves (although I do love them): My passion is for improvement, being good at something and then trying to get better. The games themselves — the graphics, the stories — were cool, but I can easily live without them. It’s the competition — with others, but especially with myself — that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for improvement and self-competition to an internet business and to my writing, well, things took off in a big way.

Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things efficiently or getting lost in a fantasy world or teaching somebody something or solving technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

4. How can you better embarrass yourself?

Before you are able to be good at something and do something important, you must first suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves — namely, because it sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will never end up doing something that feels important.

Yes, it seems that, once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.

But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” or “Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me,” then, OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about — because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out of you, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next-door says.

Living a life avoiding embarrassment is akin to living a life with your head in the sand. Photo via iStock.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

5. How are you going to save the world?

In case you haven’t seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is, “everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.”

I’ve harped on this before (and the research also bears it out), but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction.

So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed-up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the U.S. and it got me all riled up and wishing I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself, but you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee, I read all this horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Glad you asked …

6. If you absolutely had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you want to go and what would you do?

For many of us, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy.

And nothing new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don’t understand is that passion is the result of action, not the cause of it.

Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full contact sport, a trial and error process. None of us knows exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity.

Ask yourself, if someone forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook. You probably already do that.

Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

7. If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?

Most of us don’t like thinking about death. It freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to zero in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, “If you had a year to live, what would you do?”

As you can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring answers. A few drinks were nearly spit on me. But it did cause people to really think about their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

This man’s headstone will read: “Here lies Greg. He watched every episode of ’24.' Twice.” Photo via iStock.

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working toward that today?

And, again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then you’re failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s often because they don’t know what’s important to them or what their values are.

And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself and bigger than those around you.

And to find them you must get off your couch and act — and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and, paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

Visit Sweden
True

It’s no secret that modern life is stressful. Burnout is an epidemic. The World Health Organization boldly stated its dedicated efforts to help people improve their health and well-being through nature.

And thanks to a new initiative, Sweden is stepping up to offer a new holistic remedy: a physician-prescribed visit to Sweden, aka “The Swedish Prescription”.

“We have made great strides in making nature/social/culture prescription a more integral part of public health in the United States– but there is still so much more to be done,” said Dr. Stacy Stryer, Associate Medical Director for Park RxAmerica.“I welcome Sweden’s initiative and hope it will help break down institutional and organizational barriers, ultimately benefiting all patients.”

AdvertisementPatients can escape to Sweden’s pristine environment for true respite. Backed by scientific data and research from Yvonne Forsell, Senior Professor at Karolinska Institutet, healthcare professionals can prescribe Sweden as a destination where patients engage in non-medical treatments and outdoor activities to ease their ailments and offer a fresh reset.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Restore body and mind with the Swedish ritual of alternating ice baths and saunas. Swim, hike or forage through silent forests, lakes, parks and nature reserves – or simply sit in the stillness. Witness the Northern Lights dancing across winter skies, or soak up the calm of the summer midnight sun. In Stockholm, Europe’s clean-air capital, take a deep breath and feel the difference.

Or skip the great outdoors and spend time embracing Sweden’s unique cultural practices. “Our cozy fika tradition [Sweden’s daily pause for coffee and conversation], our “lagom”-balanced lifestyle [the idea of “not too much, not too little”] and our easily accessible nature are a soothing balm for body and mind,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

Sit back in front of a masterpiece in one of Sweden’s many art museums, or head out to a live music event after browsing concert options on Swedish-founded Spotify. You might catch chart-topping hits from producer Max Martin or discover the country’s thriving metal scene. Call it an early – or late – night, and enjoy restorative sleep in Sweden’s cool night air.

Sweden is the therapeutic destination your health has been craving. Learn more about “The Swedish Prescription” and its benefits for your mental and physical health here.

Health

12 photos of women before and after an orgasm shines a new light on women's sexual wellness

"We hope that everyone viewing this project will feel more confident about their bodies and sexuality."

Imagine if this kind of joy had a bigger place in the world.

You might recall Marcos Alberti's mega-viral "3 Glasses" project from 2016, in which he photographed people after they had consumed one, two, and then three glasses of wine. The series was impactful in part because it showed the physical transformation that comes from being relaxed after some wine. That, and it touched on a common curiosity. Haven’t we all wondered if we look as different as we feel after getting a little tipsy? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes.)

Using a very similar format to “3 Glasses,” as well as the elements of lightheartedness, novelty, and rawness that made it so special, Alberti utilizes his photography to delve into a topic much less discussed: women’s sexual wellness.

The concept is simple: photograph women before, during, and after an orgasm. You can see why he calls this the “O” project.

Despite the subject matter, Alberti assures viewers that the intention wasn’t to be explicit, or even erotic, for that matter. The 20+ women who participated, of varying ethnicities and varying levels of sexually liberated versus conservative countries of origin, were completely covered below the waist while using personal massagers.

“The underlying message: all women deserve to be in control of their sexuality, no matter their background. Women should be free to be empowered by–and have a little fun with–their sexuality,” Alberti wrote on his website.

Similarly, Fan Yang, Global Brand Manager of Smile Makers (a sexual wellbeing brand that partnered with Alberti for this project) noted that the goal was to break through stigma and show female pleasure in a positive, healthy light. The hope is that not only society normalizes female pleasure, but that women themselves connect to their sexuality without “shame and secrecy.”

Given that all the women who participated were “in awe” seeing themselves “glowing and radiant” in their final photo, as Yang put it, it feels safe to say mission: accomplished.

Take a look:

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

In a video posted to YouTube, we get a behind-the-scenes look at Alberti’s process. Welcoming the models in, setting up his camera behind a curtain for privacy, talking them through the process, making them feel safe and comfortable, etc.

We also get to see the “awe” that Yang spoke of. It’s palpable.

“Initially, I was still apprehensive… [with] a lot of worry. And this one [referring to the final image] is like “Ha! Life is beautiful!” one woman shared, grinning ear-to-ear.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

We can talk ad nauseam about how women’s pleasure shouldn’t be a taboo subject, about how it’s a natural, vital part of her overall wellbeing, how it can lead to better mood, heart health, immune function, sleep, intimacy, self-esteem…yadda, yadda yadda…but there’s nothing like actually witnessing its semi-miraculous powers firsthand. It’s one of the things that make photography so powerful. We feel something raw and honest on a visceral level, so that we can THEN talk about it with empathy and understanding. It’s clear that Alberti knows this on a deep level and is using that knowledge for something truly good.

Be sure to follow Alberti (@marcos_alberti ) on Instagram to keep up-to-date with all his work.





Canva

A woman pulls up her bed sheet

GiphyOnce again, the youngins are flabbergasting the older generations with their disregard for once-important things they now deem unnecessary. There's always something that gets dropped or altered generation to generation. We learn better ways or technology makes certain things obsolete. But it doesn't matter how far we've come, our beds still need sheets to cover the mattress.

The debate is on the use of top sheets, also known as flat sheets. They're the sheets that keep your body from touching the comforter, most Gen X and Boomers are firmly for the use of top sheets as a hygiene practice. The idea being that the top sheet keeps your dead skin cells and body oils from dirtying your comforter, causing you to have to wash it more often.

Apparently, Millennials and Gen Zers are uninterested in using a top sheet while sleeping. In fact, they'd rather just get a duvet cover, though they may be cumbersome. A duvet cover can be washed fairly frequently, but some may opt for a simple comforter, a cheaper option that should be washed even more often. Still, many young people don't care how much more frequently they'll need to wash their comforters because their distain for a top sheet is that strong.

top sheet, flat sheet, bedding, duvet, generations, millennials, Gen Z, hygiene, sleep, making the bed A woman snuggled up in her duvet coverCanva

But why on earth do Millennials and Gen Zers hate top sheets? It turns out it's mostly about practicality. Many Millennials are on the move holding a full-time job and a side hustle or two to make ends meet. To add an extra step when making the bed seems unnecessary.

“For a younger demographic, eliminating that step when making the bed in the morning really gives you a jump start on the day," Ariel Kay, CEO of Parachute tells Wall Street Journal.

Parachute is a company that offers bedding sets sans top sheets for folks who just don't like them and, boy, has Kay heard everyone's unsolicited opinions on the matter. She told WSJ that people will stop her on the street to get into debates about the importance or unimportance of top sheets. Yikes.

top sheet, flat sheet, bedding, duvet, generations, millennials, Gen Z, hygiene, sleep, making the bed Feet poking out from under the coversCanva

In a since deleted tweet, @JesseLynnHarte writes, "People say millennials “killed” chain restaurants, marriage, & napkins... But WHEN will they acknowledge our greatest take-down yet?? TOP SHEETS. I don’t know a single millennial who uses one. Top sheets are archaic. This is just the truth."

It would seem that Millennials and Gen Z would much rather wash their duvet covers weekly than to add a flat sheet into the mix. One big complaint about the flat sheet that adds another con to the list is they get bunched up or tangled around your legs if you're a restless sleeper. Not everyone likes hotel tucked corners on their sheets because it can feel confining.

top sheet, flat sheet, bedding, duvet, generations, millennials, Gen Z, hygiene, sleep, making the bedGif from "New Girl" of woman trying to make the bed via Giphy


But if you run hot, Boomers and Gen Xers might be onto something with the top sheet. It would seem that that thin piece of material that irritates some people can help control your body temperature according to USA Today. Even if you don't tend to need the cooling effect of a top sheet, what Mary Johnson, Tide Principal Scientist at Procter & Gamble has to say in a USA Today follow up article, just may make you rethink ditching the top sheet.

Simply by existing, "people produce one liter of sweat, 40 grams of sebum, 10 grams of salt, and 2 billion skin cells. All that stuff that happens below the waist [and] up by your head—skincare products, hair care products, ear wax, snot, drool, lots of really gross stuff—is transferred to your sheets," Johnson tells the outlet.

So whether you're team top sheet or not, it may be a good idea to at least wash whatever you use to cover your bed at least once a week.

@goodhousekeepingofficial

We asked the #GoodHousekeeping team what they really think about #topsheets, and the answers might surprise you. 😆 Keep watching to find out where everyone stands in this epic #bedding #debate.

This article originally appeared earlier his year.

Pop Culture

Frugal people say you don't need to be rich to buy these 15 life-simplifying 'luxuries'

Proof that you don't need to spend a fortune to afford peace and joy in your day-to-day.

A couple happy with their splurge on a cleaning service.

Being frugal isn’t about deprivation—it’s about living intentionally. Meaning you spend less on what drains you, and more on what gives you back time, peace, or comfort. That also means that sometimes throwing down a liiiiiiittle bit of moolah here and there to invest in a higher quality of life isn’t seen as a frivolous move, but a truly wise one.

That’s certainly a philosophy plenty of money-savvy Redditors seem to share. Across dozens of threads, people who pride themselves on being budget-conscious swapped stories about the little upgrades that made their life run more smoothly—time-saving robots, procedures that added convenience, mattresses that heal more than they cost, and more.

When you read through enough of these threads, a pattern emerges. The most “worth it” purchases bring more peace and joy to the day-to-day in some way, and they need not be super fancy to achieve that.

So, what are these life-changing splurges that even the most frugal swear by? Here are the simple, sanity-saving luxuries these folks say pay dividends.

Roombas, or robot vacuums in general

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A robot vaccuum. Photo credit: Canva

It’s like hiring a tiny, tireless butler who never complains. You come home to clean floors without lifting a finger…or a broom, for that matter. What’s not to like?

Fun fact: According to an article from Ecovacs, robot vacuums might be a more “effective” and “healthier option” than traditional dusting, since they stir up less dust.

Automatic pet feeders and litter boxes

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A kitty using a self-cleaning litter box. Photo credit: Canva

No more 6 a.m. guilt trips from hungry cats or late-night scooping marathons. Automation means your pets stay fed and happy while you reclaim a few precious minutes, sans any unsavory smells.

As some people noted, self cleaning litters boxes can be especially helpful for pet owners who might suffer from depression and have trouble maintaining routines.

LASIK surgery

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A woman getting LASIK. Photo credit: Canva

Listen, it’s great that glasses have broken through stigma to become a chic fashion accessory, but are still so annoying to need at all times. With LASIK, the luxury comes in simply being able to wake up and see the world without having to clumsily hunt for those specs. It’s like the ultimate set-it-and-forget-it upgrade for your eyes.

Did you know?—over 90% of LASIK patients achieve 20/20 vision or better after surgery, per the American Refractive Surgery Council.

A dishwasher

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A loaded dishwasher. Photo credit: Canva

Because no one has ever said, “I wish I spent more time scrubbing plates.” A great dishwasher saves time, water, and (most importantly) your will to live after dinner.

“I never had one growing up, and rented a bunch of apartments afterwards that didn't have one. I bought my first apartment 3 years ago and made sure to have one installed, and it was life changing. No more toiling over the sink for almost an hour every evening, and no more eczema on my hands and ruined nails.”

“The great thing about dishwashers is the simplicity of the routine for me. Empty it as the kettle boils in the morning. Rinse dirty dishes and stack them in as you go. Put it on when it's full. Repeat as needed. No more dishes on the bench 😇”

A quality mattress

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A woman waking up well-rested. Photo credit: Canva

We all know how important it is to get a good night’s sleep. According to the Sleep Foundation, quality sleep is the major key to our focus, immunity, and mood throughout the day.

Conversely, if you've ever woken up with a stiff back or neck (read: if you’ve over 32) you know that your mattress can make or break that much needed reset. So many people who have finally invested in a top notch mattress can attest to this.

“Being able to elevate my feet and head without juggling to organize a bunch of pillows feels like the epitome of luxury.”

And of course, there are money-savvy ways to make this big purchase.

“I'm glad I opted to put the purchase on my credit card, even though I paid it off right away with savings budgeted for the big spend. The store would have given me 0% interest, but since I didn't carry the balance, I didn't pay any interest, anyway, and my card basically paid me with a kickback/cashback.”

A bidet

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A bidet. Photo credit: Canva

Once you try it, you understand. It’s cleaner, greener, and oddly life-affirming. You’ll save money on toilet paper and feel like you’re living in the future. A win-win.

Another stat: Americans use 34 million rolls of toilet paper daily. Bidets can cut that by up to 75%.

Tools

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A man using a power drill. Photo credit: Canva

Whether it’s a power drill or a solid wrench set, the right tools turn frustrating chores into five-minute fixes. Plus, you get the earned confidence in your own self-sufficiency.

“Having the right tools to repair, modify, improve, or build something can vastly simplify automotive and home maintenance. It can also be cheaper to buy the tools once than it is to pay someone to perform the maintenance regularly. Especially the battery powered ones.”

An electric kettle and tea

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life An electric kettle and tea. Photo credit: Canva

A quiet moment with a cup of tea can reset your day faster than any productivity hack ever could. And harnessing the power of electricity can bring that peace ritual even sooner.

“Drinking tea and even the ritual of preparing it nurtures me and brings me so much peace and clarity. Maybe that sounds goofy, but staying hydrated and getting your antioxidants throughout the day makes life simpler and happier. Wow, I am making myself thirsty. Time for some chamomile.”

A key pad dead bolt

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A keypad lock. Photo credit: Canva

No more frantic pocket-patting or key-hunting at the door. Tap a code, and badda bing, badda boom, you’re home. It’s safety, simplicity, and peace of mind, especially for chronic key-losers everywhere.

Air-fryers

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life An air fryer with freshly made potatoes. Photo credit: Canva

It’s the holy grail of quick, crispy satisfaction; just ask any millennial. Dinner goes from frozen to fantastic in 15 minutes flat, with less mess, less oil, less calories (up to 70–80% less, to be exact) and zero regrets.

An Anker charging brick

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life A phone charging.Photo credit: Canva

Running out of battery-life in 2025 feels like running out of oxygen, so having one hand “oxygen tank” for all your electronic needs is beyond a luxury, and more of a modern day necessity.

“[I have one] powerful enough to run my laptop and charge devices. It has multiple USB ports. I no longer have to juggle multiple charging bricks or the awkward OEM laptop power supply. It’s noticeably simpler so much that several folks have commented at work when they saw my simplified setup in conference rooms.”

An espresso machine

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life An espresso machine. Photo credit: Canva

Behold, your kitchen is magically transformed into a café—minus the line, tip jar, or misspelled name on the cup. It’s an investment that pays you back in energy and joy. And you get to create your own latte art!

Monthly cleaners

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life CleanersPhoto credit: Canva

Sometimes, the most impactful luxury of all is walking into a spotless home you didn’t have to clean yourself. And doing it only once a month helps hinder burnout while still keeping within budget.

“It’s not so often that it feels over-indulgent, but it’s enough to help keep the house truly clean and relieves a lot of stress. Also motivates you to keep tidy, as cleaners clean, they don’t tidy, and they clean better if it’s tidy!"

Laser hair removal

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life Laser hari removalPhoto credit: Canva

Less shaving, less irritation, less time. It’s freedom disguised as skincare. Medi-spas seems to agree that, generally speaking, most people see a 50-70% reduction after 3-4 sessions, and 85-95% permanent reduction after 6-8 sessions. Then there’s 5+ years of being "practically hair-free" with minimal need for maintenance.

With this option, maybe I actually could take quick showers like a normal person!

Bluetooth speakers and headphones

frugal, frugal tips, frugal living, frugality, money, saving money, reddit, investments, quality of life Bluetooth productsPhoto credit: Canva

The right soundtrack—be it a playlist, or a podcast—makes everything better, does it not? One study found that students who used headphones while working were more focused, less distracted, and even enjoyed studying more…proof that good sound can help produce good habits.

Bottom line: investing in peace of mind, better sleep, or a cleaner home isn’t frivolous. It’s human. Because when life feels just a little lighter, you have more room to actually live it. Consider this your permission slip to appreciate some of the luxuries you might already have in your life. Or, bank account willing, even purchase something today that adds a little peace of mind.
Community

14 books that completely changed the way people see the world

"It’s incredible how the right book, read at the right moment, acts like a psychological lever."

Self-help books, philosophical novels, and children's classics abound.

In his (often misquoted) 1889 essay "The Decay of Lying: An Observation," Oscar Wilde boldly declares that “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.” While this question has sparked countless philosophical debates, there remains an undeniable kernel of truth: in a beautiful moment of kismet, for some indescribable reason, a piece of art resonates with you.

For Reddit user @_rahmatullah, that happened when they read a specific book. On the Subreddit “r/productivity” they wrote: “A few months ago, I stumbled upon a book (I won’t name it here to avoid biasing responses), and it triggered something I can’t fully explain. It didn’t just change how I think—it changed what I notice, how I react, and how I show up in life. Since then, I’ve made it a habit to collect these transformation stories—not summaries, not reviews—but real-life shifts triggered by reading a book. It’s incredible how the right book, read at the right moment, acts like a psychological lever.”

Then, they posed the following question: “I’m asking this out of pure curiosity (and maybe low-key research): Have you ever read a book that changed your internal wiring in any way—your mindset, habits, or how you see the world? … Sometimes, the best books aren’t bestsellers—they’re just the right words hitting us at the right time.”

books, recommendations, reading So many book recommendations, so little time. Photo credit: Canva

The comments were flooded with wonderful, life-changing book recommendations, from nonfiction epics about breaking through creative barriers to children’s books that remain on their mind. We’ve collected 14 of the most intriguing, below:

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (2002)

One user describes the book: “It’s not super long, and it’s written in this really straightforward, almost no-nonsense way. But it hit hard. The whole idea is about Resistance, that sneaky little force that stops us from doing the stuff we actually care about. It made me realize how often I make excuses without even knowing it. And Pressfield’s take is simple but powerful, just show up, do the work and don’t wait for some magical moment.”

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Others were quick to follow, with one person commenting, “The War of Art is the only book I have ever read more than once. Well worth the read” and another said, “Do The Work is a solid follow up to it. It’s short and to the point. Can easily listen to the audiobook in one sitting when you need a boost to GSD (get sh*t done). It’s 90 min.”

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (1989)

One of the great self-help books from the late 1980s was recommended by multiple people.

One commented, “If I wanted to suggest the ONE book anyone to read in their lifetime, it is it. The idea is simple—be proactive, live by your values, and focus on what’s in your control. It will change the way you think and approach life.”

Another agreed, writing, “7 Habits also changed my life years ago by making my interpersonal relationships better, even though it doesn’t talk much about it. The book just motivated me to be my authentic self, increase my self-worth, and hence improved my relationship with others as a side effect. I had also read how to win friends and influence people at that similar period, but that book didn’t add any value as much as 7 Habits did.”

If the World Were a Village by David J. Smith (2002)

The first children’s book to grace the chat is a best-selling thought experiment that imagines the world’s 6.8 billion population as a village of just 100 people. One person describes it as a “short picture book, but [one that] completely changed how I see the life, world.”

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They continue, “I was shocked how fortunate I was compared to all other people who do not even have basic food and water, and at the time, I was so ashamed that I took it for granted. Since then, I’ve traveled around the world, trying to interact with local people, and I try to learn about the history and the reality of these locations. (And I learned English to communicate.) I would not be who I am today without that book.”

The Anatomy of Anxiety by Ellen Vora (2022)

Acclaimed psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora’s nonfiction book helps readers understand how anxiety manifests itself in the body and mind as a fear mechanism—and walks them through steps they can take to overcome it.

“Before reading this book, I’d been focusing lopsidedly on the spiritual side and suffering from years of anxiety problems and panic attacks,” writes one Reddit user. “This book is a turning point for me, enabling me to view the mechanism of anxiety in the body more objectively.”

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (1966)

First published as a short story in the April 1959 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (which won the Hugo Award for Best Short Story the following year), Flowers for Algernon is a powerful novel about the treatment of people who are mentally challenged. It explores the complicated relationship between intellect, emotion, and happiness.

One person commented that the novel “really made me think about how we all judge and treat other people, especially how we as humans look down on other people in different, subtle ways. It actually made me sick in a way I’ll never forget” and “completely changed my view on how we treat ‘stupid’ people. It’s so profound, because it’s such a short text, but it just hits you like a bullet train. I never cried so much after reading a book before.”

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (1947)

Pirsig narrates a summer motorcycle trip undertaken by a father and his son, which slowly morphs into a man’s search for meaning.

“I can’t fully describe the feeling. Part of my love was his concept of ‘quality’ and it almost becomes religion-like,” commented one person. “It’s been probably 25 years since I read it. I should read it again.”

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Ishmael by David Quinn (1992)

“The metaphor about society being a faulty plane that is falling off a cliff but thinks it’s flying simply because it hasn’t hit the ground yet has always stuck with me,” wrote one Reddit user of the philosophical novel.

Framed as a Socratic conversation between two characters, author David Quinn explores the ways modern human supremacy causes irreparable damage to the environment.

Another user echoed their praise, writing: “I read a ton of self-help, and all the ones mentioned in this thread I have rolled my eyes at because they reiterate common thought trends with an occasional light bulb moment. Not to say they aren’t helpful, just not necessarily 'change my life' kind of books. Ishmael made me THINK and put life in perspective. It was the book that changed my conservative thinking to a very much empathy based way of living with intention.”

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (161-180)

The Roman Emperor’s series of personal writings resounded with readers, with one who commented, “Some of the best thoughts on how to live and grow, and how to deal with adversity, mortality, and impermanence. Dude was pretty in touch with the universal human condition for an Emperor.”

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Another person replied, “I think I really need to give a copy of this to my brother… It really helped me out, and I think I see him struggling with things that could be easier for him with some tools he could gain from this.”

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (2004)

Reddit users are not the only ones who loved this book about embracing life through the heart of a Buddha; beloved Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Radical Acceptance offers us an invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear, and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.”

Similarly, people on the thread sung its praises, writing, “Her RAIN method has literally saved my life and changed my perspective on how I interact with the world and how I treat myself. Thanks to her, I’m heading into a new chapter where trauma doesn’t rule my life,” and “This book helped me tremendously while navigating hard personal situations, including terminal disease in my family.”

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy (1963)

One person found this book, which posits our subconscious dictates life events, to be tremendously powerful.

“I’m a pragmatic person and would question this book would it be introduced to me now instead of when my mind was more open,” they begin. “Maybe it works because it makes you believe that all it takes is a wish and some work… I read it when I was about 15 and have had many things I wished for happen.”

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (1922)

Hesse’s ninth novel follows the spiritual journey of a man during the time of the Gautama Buddha. Originally published in 1922, it was later published in the United States in 1951.

One user writes, “We sometimes find ourselves most lost when we stop believing other people are going to be able to give us the mentorship we need. Often, literature can teach what straightforward non-fiction texts can’t.”

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Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant (2020)

For a user on the thread, Ravikant’s inspirational self-healing book “brought home how essential self-love is, and that it isn’t indulgent or narcissistic. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.”

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1943)

One of the best-selling books of all time, The Little Prince comments on life, adults, and human nature.

In particular, one part of the novel stood out for this Redditor: “The part in The Little Prince where the adult looks at his drawing and thinks it’s a top hat and the kid says ‘no, it’s a picture of a snake that just ate an elephant’ really helped little kid me understand how people can see the same things so differently. It seems small now, but as a little kid it’s hard to understand why adults ‘don’t get it’ when it seems obvious to kids. That helped me have patience for my parents/adults, and I think I carried it with me as a beginner builder of compassion for people in general.”

Get It Done by Aylet Fishbach (2022)

The final book recommendation came from a user’s friend. For them, psychologist and behavioral scientist Aylet Fishbach’s book “changed the way I think about how I manage my time and myself. I rarely think of ‘recovery’ and ‘productivity’ in the same sentence, and generally think in terms of opportunity costs or how to best use my time.”

This article originally appeared in June.

Culture

Generation Jones explains their major cultural differences with Boomers

"Think of us as a generation that got the tail end of the party but had to clean up the mess."

Generation Jones points out the biggest cultural differences between them and Boomers.

Generation Jones, people born from 1954-1964, is considered a 'micro-generation' between Boomers and Generation X. Though typically lumped in with Boomers, there are some pretty distinct differences between them.

In an online community of Generation Jones-ers, a member named @WalkingHorse, prompted those in Generation Jones to discuss how their upbringing differed from Boomers in a post titled "What is and who are Generation Jones. Step inside...".

"We're often described as pragmatic idealists—raised on big dreams but tempered by economic recessions and a sense of lowered expectations compared to the Boomers’ post-war prosperity," they wrote. "Think of us a generation that got the tail end of the party but had to clean up the mess."

How Generation Jones differs from Boomers

It inspired many Generation Jones members to share their thoughts and opinions. These are some of the major cultural differences those in Generation Jones have with Boomers:

"We were too young to fully participate in the counterculture of the '60s but old enough to feel its aftershocks." —@WalkingHorse

Gen Jones men also signed up for the selective service, but were not drafted as the Vietnam war had ended." —@tedshreddon

"Boomers had Elvis and The Beatles. We had Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd." —@Scr33ble

"First teenage generation to experience the Space Shuttle launch. First teen generation to watch music videos in between movies on cable TV then the birth of MTV. We laughed when hearing that golf obsessed President Gerald Ford would routinely slice or hook a ball into a crowd of spectators. Then laugh at Chevy Chase for mimicking our clumsy commander in Chief. We watched our parents go through the fuel rationing days where you could only buy gas for you car if the last digit on the plate was an odd or even number. We counted days along with the media on how long the Iran hostages were being held. We lost John Lennon while not in that sweet spot age to have experienced the musical British Invasion of the 60’s. Instead, MTV opened to floodgates to the Brit-pop invasion of Duran Duran followed closely by big hair, neon clothing and wondering why saying ‘too hip’ was all that and a bag of chips. Best part was that college tuition was sorta affordable." —@contrivancedevice

There for the start of major social change

"Not mentioned yet, but we were present for the rise of gay rights. Went to my first gay bar at 19. Music, especially Disco, was infused with pride and acceptance and coming out. 'We are Family', 'I’m Coming Out'. Queen and the Village People, etc. The rise of 'women’s music' like Holly Near and Chris Williamson. Activists like Harvey Milk and later ACT UP. We were young adults when AIDS hit and the fight for treatment led to a huge wave of coming out. We lost a whole generation of gay men to that plague. 😢" —@BldrJanet

"Boomers remember where they were when President Kennedy died. We remember where we were when John Lennon died." —@KJPratt

1950s kids, 1960s culture, MTV era, Vietnam aftermath, Led Zeppelin, gay rights history, disco music, Woodstock album, cassette tapes, space shuttle launch, Iran hostage crisis, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Freddie Mercury, cultural nostalgia, postwar generation RHCP on cassette is peak Generation Jones.Photo credit: Canva

"Musically speaking, I think we were blessed. Our musical heyday had everything. Our moms played Elvis the king on the radio, and we had Elvis Costello. The Stones and The Who transverse generations. We are old enough to remember Joan Baez and Bob Dylan pre-Chalamet, not to mention Freddie and Elton before their bio-pics. And Johnny Cash too. And shout out to the poster girl of the 80’s Cyndi Lauper (I got special love for her as a race tracker cause she walked hots at Belmont Park.)" —@Binky-Answer896

"We gave a hoot, and didn’t pollute!" —@Awkwardimplemet698

"We are the generation that got to see the war every evening at dinner 'live via satellite'. —@blurtlebaby

"Think: 45s—albums—-8 tracks—cassettes—-CDs—-Streaming! I’ve had the Rolling Stones on all!" —@NOLALaura

A generation marked by change and chaos

 Woodstock album, cassette tapes, space shuttle launch, Iran hostage crisis, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Freddie Mercury, cultural nostalgia, postwar generation Gen Jones was there for the launch of the tech revolution. Photo credit: Canva

"I always said that I experienced it all...born in 1957. I listened to my older siblings music. I stole my sisters Woodstock album when she went off to college. I still have it. I recall all the assassinations from JFK and MLK.I saw RFK being killed on live tv.(at least I think I did), I remember the chaos of the Vietnam war, the Chicago riots, the Nixon mess. I recall the beginning of the environmental fight, Sesame Street and the moon launch. Computers, and floppy discs, cell phones that came in small cases that would plug into the car. So much good stuff. So much chaos." —@mammaV55

"There’s a sure way to know if you’re Gen J. Were you deadly afraid of quicksand?!" —@NOLALaura

This article originally appeared earlier this year.