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How Being Gay Can Cost You Over $400K
Something that makes us look backwards and costs us money at the same time? Sounds like the America I know.
06.12.12
"It's not dirty, it's just messy."
Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.
It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, unless you have a live-in maid, it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.
The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.
TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.
"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."
The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.
The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.
"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.
TikTokker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.
"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.
But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.
"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.
"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.
Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.
She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of fast-motion videos.
@themessymama4 my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼♀️😅
Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of the job, she was exhausted. But she got the job done and that’s all that matters. It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.
@themessymama4 I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴
We’ll give TikTokker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head. “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”
This article originally appeared on 03.05.22
She has the perfect question to ask once your partner gets defensive.
Therapist Lauren Consul has one trick to stop arguments before they begin.
Arguments start to take off when one partner begins to get defensive. So, therapist Lauren Consul shared her relationship-saving tip to "stop an argument in its tracks" when one partner goes into self-preservation mode.
Lauren Consul is a couples and sex therapist who’s developed a following of nearly 160,000 people on TikTok and has received over 5.4 million likes. She is an infidelity expert and hosts retreats to help people "survive and thrive" after one partner has strayed.
"The next time you and your partner are talking, and your partner becomes defensive, I want you to do this: Pause, and say, 'I want to understand what happened there. What did you hear me say?'" Consul says in her TikTok video with over 42,000 views.
"This question is key because it does one of two things," she continued. "First, it can allow for clarification. A lot of times when we've become defensive, we've interpreted something our partner has said incorrectly. We've run it through a filter, we've told ourselves a story about it, it's triggered something... So we're not actually hearing what our partner says, and it allows for clarification."
@laurenconsul #communicationtools #communicationtools #defensiveness #couplesargument #learnontiktok #cyclebreaker #couplestherapist #relationshiptherapist #marriagecounseling #mytherapistsays #therapytol #tiktoktherapist
"The second thing: If your partner did interpret what you said correctly, it gives you an opportunity to slow things down and understand what is happening for them and address the underlying issue, rather than get caught in a spiral of defensiveness," she continued.
Consul's advice for stopping arguments before they explode is helpful because it clears up any potential misunderstandings. The key is to remember the tactic in the heat of the moment to prevent things from getting out of hand.
Did you know this?
An avocado tree farmer explains the science of Hass avocados
Have you ever seen anyone put an avocado pit in water to grow an avocado tree? I've seen lots of people try, but only a few succeed. My mom has a tiny avocado tree growing in her living room that she managed to grow from the pit of a Hass avocado she ate. It's small but thriving, and I've often wondered if it will ever grow actual avocados.
As it turns out, it could—but they won't be Hass avocados.
Wait, huh?
In a wow-that's-an-interesting-factoid-I-never-knew-before video, an avocado tree grower explains in this YouTube video why a Hass avocado seed doesn't grow into a Hass avocado tree. Avocados, apparently, are not "true to seed" plants, meaning if you plant the seed, you'll end up with a different variety of the fruit the seed came from. Apples are the same—if you plant a Fuji apple seed, you will not get a Fuji apple tree. In fact, chances are really, really high that you'll get an avocado or an apple that tastes terrible if you try to grow it from a seed of an existing fruit.
The guy from Sleepy Lizard Avocado Farm explains how it all works using an analogy with candy flavors. This is the genetics lesson we all needed in school when we were trying to figure out Punnett squares, and he explains it all so clearly.
Incredible how nature works, and so amazing what human beings have been able to figure out over millennia of agricultural advancements.
So how do you get a Hass avocado tree if you can't plant a Hass avocado seed to grow it? As he explains in the video, you can plant the pit and start to grow the tree, but if you want Hass avocados you have to graft a branch of a Hass avocado tree onto the stem of the tree you're growing.
Or, you can just buy a baby Hass avocado tree that's already been grafted, which is probably a heck of a lot easier than figuring out how to graft one yourself.
So go ahead and sprout that seed in water and grow yourself a pretty avocado plant if you'd like. Just don't expect any yummy avocados from it, since your chances are about 1 in 10,000 that it'll happen.
Thanks for the fascinating lesson, avocado guy!
This article originally appeared on 07.06.21
This comedy still hits.
Mannequins, pizza and magic stairs—oh my!
The 1989 film “Look Who’s Talking,” starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, made comedy gold out of the simple question…what’s going on inside a toddler’s head?
Actor and dad King Keraun is proving that this premise still provides endless laughs, one hilarious TikTok at a time.
Keraun told Today.com that he had been inspired to create his own version of “Look Who’s Talking” with his son Keraun Jr., saying “I thought it would be fun to get inside my kid’s head.”
Keraun was not wrong—a now-viral TikTok clip showing their indoor mall adventure in Los Angeles is tickling everyone’s funny bone.“My dad took me to the mall so that I could be stimulated because he says I’m a COVID baby and I need to see the world. And man, it was crazy!" Keraun says in a voice-over.
Crazy indeed. The dad and son shopping day included “magic stairs that move,” aka an escalator, as well as a “woman with no head.” Adults might refer to this headless woman as a mannequin.
Apparently, Keraun Jr. was “having too much fun” because he lost a shoe. But hey, he got three new pairs. Plus he had a “great idea” to go for a swim in the water fountain…until dad stopped him.
Next was lunchtime in the food court. Which was particularly exciting, because Keraun Jr. loves pizza.
“I was tearing that Sbarro up. You hear me?” the voice-over says.
“Then I got thirsty and I realized old boy next to me ain’t been drinking his drink—he wouldn’t mind..." it continues, showing Keraun Jr. walk right up to a stranger’s soda. Keraun can be seen making a swift interception.
Finally, it’s time to head home, but not without Keraun Jr. pretending like he forgot how to walk and being carried out by the arm. And thus concludes our mini-movie.
@kingkeraun Come get yall nephew ! 🙄
♬ original sound - kingkeraun
The video has racked up a whopping 11.8 views, with several joking about how “COVID babies are built different.”
Keraun feels like our modern-day culture of convenience has also deprived kids of visceral experiences once plentiful in his own childhood.
“My son is growing up in the COVID era—but it’s not only that. Everything comes to us now. Amazon packages arrive at my house every day, we order DoorDash instead of going out to restaurants,” he told Today.com.
Keraun plans to give audiences a few more “sequels,” including a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. It’s sure to be some wholesome and hilariously relatable entertainment, so give his TikTok a follow here.
Creating moments like these is why she opened her store in the first place.
Elyse Monroe found the perfect dress, then found out it costs nothing.
Adolescence is a harrowing time for body image and self-esteem all around, but few milestones are as universally daunting as finding a prom dress. Whether it’s due to budget constraints, not being able to find a dress that fits, or both, what should be a fun event is often viscerally dreaded.
This was certainly the case for Summer Lucille. Lucille told Today.com that growing up, “if you weren’t skinny, there weren’t many options, and it was devastating for me because I’ve always loved fashion.”
She recalled, “I went to my prom looking like a church lady in a suit dress with a jacket because it was the only thing that fit. It was a very sad period in my life.”
Wanting to ensure a more positive experience for others, Lucille opened up her plus-size-only dress shop, Juicy Body Goddess, in 2016. The boutique, based in North Carolina, features mostly Lucille’s own designs of formal dresses up to a size 6X.
Juicy Body Goddess really started gaining traction when Lucille set up a TikTok account sharing truly joyful interactions with customers as they try on different styles.
Besides having an eye for fashion, Lucille is a masterful hype woman, making others feel beautiful with her enthusiastic, heartfelt praises. She clearly loves what she does. Here's one of many, many examples:
@juicybodygoddess I had to get her number so she can model🤩 #plussizefashion#plussizeboutique#birthday#plussizetiktok#juicybodygoddess♬ original sound - JuicyBodyGoddess
Juicy Goddess’s TikTok presence is how 18-year-old Elyse Monroe found out about the store. Monroe and her family drove nearly six hours for a consultation, determined to find the perfect dress.
Lucille shared with People that Monroe was initially “nervous and shy,” but after trying on a sparkly, form-fitting purple gown, everything changed.
"When she got into that purple dress, she lit up," Lucille told People.
There was still a budget problem, however. Monroe’s family could only afford to pay $400. The dress was $700.
Thankfully, Lucille had one more surprise up her sleeve.
A now viral TikTok video shows the Monroe family approach the register, asking how much the dress would cost.
Lucille can be heard saying, “This dress is $700…but it’s free.”
Yeah, as you can probably expect, this leaves the teen and her family a bit emotional. Watch below:
@juicybodygoddess I didn't cry until I did edit #plussize#plussizetiktok#juicybodygoddess#plussizefashion♬ original sound - JuicyBodyGoddess
The video has had an overwhelming number of responses. Many commiserated with their own painful prom memories and applauded Lucille for her generosity. Some were even inspired to perform their own act of kindness by donating. Lucille told People that since posting the video, there has been $12,000 worth of gift card purchases. Yowza.
This is such an amazing example of what can happen when we celebrate uniqueness, spread generosity, and prioritize making everyone feel worthy of praise.
If you’d like to purchase a gift card from Juicy Body Goddess, click here. Or, if you wanna just follow along on some gorgeous fittings, you can find the Juicy Body Goddess TikTok here.There are currently 38 official Dark Sky Communities around the world. Here's why they matter.
Dark skies are good for people and the planet.
In the 17th century, the wealthy people of Scotland would escape to the small town of Moffat for its healing sulfurous springs. Today, people appreciate Moffat for another kind of healing escape…into darkness.
That's right. The healing power of the dark of night is a thing, not only for people but for the planet.
If you've ever had the bounty of sitting out under the stars far away from city lights, you know how magical it can be to gaze at the night sky, but there are benefits to natural darkness that go far beyond enjoying the aesthetic beauty of space. That's the premise behind Dark Sky Communities.
Moffat became an official Dark Sky Community in 2016 after it invested in changing the town's lighting to prevent light pollution. Now it's an ideal place for stargazing, with a community observatory housing a state-of-the-art telescope and townspeople dedicated to preserving the night sky. Moffat was one of the first Dark Sky Communities in Europe and is one of just 38 around the world as of January 2023.
What exactly is a Dark Sky Community and why does it matter?
The International Dark-Sky Association (IDA) began designating places around the world, from natural environments to cities and towns, as Dark Sky Places in 2001 as a way of recognizing "excellent stewardship of the night sky." Dark Sky Places preserve and protect the dark through responsible lighting policies and public education about the importance of reducing light pollution. A Dark Sky Community is a legally organized city or town that adopts outdoor lighting ordinances that reduce light pollution and undertakes efforts to educate residents about the importance of dark skies.
Darkness matters—a lot. Not only does light pollution make it harder to see the beauty of the night sky, but it also has a negative effect on wildlife and ecosystems. Many animals, from insects to migratory birds to nocturnal animals rely on the natural rhythm of sunlight and darkness, and artificial light can disrupt their natural behaviors, sometimes to deadly effect. Light pollution also has a detrimental impact on plants, disrupting the circadian rhythm of certain pollinators and leading to reduced plant-pollinator interactions.
Too much artificial light at night can impact human health as well, as light messes with our own circadian rhythms. It's also just a waste of energy when lights are left on unnecessarily. The IDA estimates that around 30% of outdoor lighting is wasted, just in the U.S. alone. The Artificial Light at Night (ALAN) Research Literature Database provides a wealth of scientific literature on all aspects of artificial light at night research.
But as much as science tells us about the importance of reducing light pollution, there's also what the IDA refers to as our "night sky heritage."
The night sky has inspired scientists and poets alike throughout human history.
Canva
The IDA website explains:
"Until recently, for all of human history, our ancestors experienced a sky brimming with stars—a night sky that inspired science, religion, philosophy, art and literature, including some of Shakespeare’s most famous sonnets.
The natural night sky is our common and universal heritage, yet it’s rapidly becoming unknown to the newest generations.
Van Gogh painted his famous “Starry Night” in Saint Rémy, France, in 1889. Now, the Milky Way can no longer be seen from there. If he were alive today, would he still be inspired to paint “Starry Night”?
Experiencing the night sky provides perspective, inspiration, and leads us to reflect on our humanity and place in the universe. The history of scientific discovery and even human curiosity itself is indebted to the natural night sky.
Without the natural night sky we could not have:
Our relationship with natural darkness is both practical and poetic, but in a world full of lights and screens, most of us probably don't it as much thought or care as we should. That's the whole purpose of naming and certifying Dark Sky Places.
The IDA shares that as of January 2023, there are 201 certified Dark Sky Places in the world, including 115 Parks, 38 Communities, 20 Reserves, 16 Sanctuaries, 6 Urban Night Sky Places, and 6 Dark Sky Friendly Developments of Distinction.
You can find the list of Dark Sky Communities here and an interactive map of all official Dark Sky Places here.
Let's all do our part to turn off lights and limit light pollution for the good of people and our planet.