His IT job didn't measure up to the excitement of his Coast Guard one. So he changed that.
Dave Riley has always been an adrenaline-chaser — and he probably always will be.
His love for adventure started with his life in the military, which was nothing short of thrilling. With a father in the Army, the military was always in Dave's blood. So he joined the Army himself, and then transferred to the Coast Guard, where he took on one of the most difficult, high-stakes jobs available — that of a search-and-rescue swimmer.
Photo courtesy of Dave Riley.
"It's still the best job I ever had," he says. "At any moment, an alarm could go off, and you would go and do whatever needed to be done. Anything from cliff rescues to surf rescues, boats going down to sailboats, you know, there's a lot of high adrenaline. It's a high-energy type job."
After he was transferred to Mobile, Alabama, Dave contracted an infection from bacteria in the water that made him gravely ill. He became septic and fell into a coma.
When he awoke, all four of his limbs had been removed in order to help him survive.
Photo via DAV (Disabled American Veterans).
At first, Dave felt that his life was over. He couldn't see a way forward for himself in his new body.
After the sepsis was eliminated, Dave recovered gradually and went back to school to get his bachelor's and master's degrees in computer science. But depression plagued him, caused both by his disability and uncertainty over what do with his life. He opened his own IT company in Alabama, but it just wasn't fulfilling to him in the same way his life in the military had been.
"I'd turned my hobby into a job, and then I hated it," he says.
Photo via DAV.
It was his caregiver and his community that helped Dave chart a new path forward.
Yvonne, Dave's wife, has been with him every step of the way. In fact, it had fallen to Yvonne to make the decision to amputate his limbs — a choice that saved his life but also altered it forever.
"Yvonne has been my caregiver for 30 years, really," Dave laughs. "20 years disabled, but she's been taking care of me for much longer than that."
Photo courtesy of Dave Riley.
Dave also became involved with DAV (Disabled American Veterans), a nonprofit charity that helps veterans get the benefits they earned, like health care, education, and disability, and overcome challenges like finding meaningful employment. Through them, Dave found a community, he learned ways to be active and play sports, and he met people who helped him learn how he could live the life he wanted.
As DAV began helping Dave heal, he decided that he wanted to help others do the same thing.
He became a volunteer with the organization, taking on more and more responsibility and working his way up through the ranks. He retired from his job as a computer analyst and turned to working with DAV full time, ultimately becoming DAV national commander.
Throughout the year, Dave and Yvonne travel all around the country to attend conferences and events, to visit with the military, and to speak to veterans with disabilities and their families.
Photo courtesy of Dave Riley.
Under Dave's leadership, DAV continues to do the work of identifying and reaching out to struggling veterans with disabilities and helping them see a way forward in life.
He's also made it his mission to help not just veterans, but also their caregivers get the benefits that they need. Right now, only caregivers of veterans injured after 9/11 receive the comprehensive caregiver benefits the VA offers — including respite care, financial assistance, training, and health and education benefits. In February 2017, Dave testified in front of Congress about the depth of service caregivers provide severely disabled veterans and how we should thank and honor them properly by giving them the support they need to carry out the selfless work they have dedicated themselves to:
"Family caregivers are critical members of a veteran’s health care team — they are unsung American heroes who often sacrifice their own health, well-being, employment, educational and other life goals and opportunities—to care for their loved ones."
Photo via DAV.
Many of the obstacles veterans with disabilities face when they return home are physical, but many are not. The caregivers and community members that surround returning military personnel with love and support are an essential part of veterans' healing.
When a veteran is first injured, there can often be a period of darkness and uncertainty, and we don't always get to see the beautiful stories unfold of people like Dave and Yvonne who have found great meaning in their work post-service. Under Dave's leadership, DAV will continue to help provide the support that veterans need to write those stories of success.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.