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Here's what having gender dysphoria feels like using an analogy everyone can understand

Here's what having gender dysphoria feels like using an analogy everyone can understand

Transgender rights are some of the most controversial issues of the day. In recent years, there have been passionate fights in state and federal governments over transgender people's rights to serve in the military, gain access to gender-affirming healthcare, and use the appropriate restroom.

It's reasonable to believe that we could make more progress on these issues if people understood the experiences of transgendered people.

Gay, lesbian, and bisexual Americans have gained greater acceptance into mainstream society over the past few decades after becoming more visible.


When then-prime-time sitcom star Ellen Degeneres came out of the closet on her show in 1997 it was a landmark moment for gay rights because many Americans who weren't familiar with the community felt they knew Degeneres.

This led to greater understanding and acceptance of LGBT people.

One way that we can help others better understand the transgender community is by explaining what it feels like to live with gender dysphoria. Many transgendered people experience gender dysphoria which, to put it simply, is the excruciating feeling of being trapped inside the wrong body.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, "Some people who are transgender will experience 'gender dysphoria,' which refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one's sex assigned at birth and one's gender identity."

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)1 defines it as "a marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender."

According to Black's Medical Dictionary, gender dysphoria occurs in one in 30,000 male-assigned births and one in 100,000 female-assigned births. A study published by Cedar's Sinai says that 73% of transgender women and 78% of transgender men first experienced gender dysphoria by age seven.

"Gender dysphoria can come from the body, where one may feel distress over a part of their anatomy, such as their genitals, chest, or hair," Jessie Earl writes for The Advocate. "Dysphoria can also come from social factors, such as not feeling comfortable wearing 'women's' clothing or being referred to by gendered pronouns.

These explanations provide a clear way for the medical community to understand gender dysphoria. But how do you get through to someone who's still stuck in an outdated mindset that being transgender is a form of perversion?

A Reddit user who goes by the name Cascadeon recently provided an easy-to-understand metaphor for what it feels like to live with gender dysphoria. Their simple answer is a great way to explain the issue to someone who has a hard time understanding what it's like seeing things from a transgendered perspective.

This is an analogy I used to tell people, I don't know if it helps but maybe.
Gender is a lot like a pair of shoes. If you have on a good, comfortable, well fitting pair, you don't notice it or think about it. As you walk around you aren't constantly thinking about your shoes and the comfort, it's just there and fine and normal and it doesn't concern you one single bit. It's almost hard to notice because if they feel fine it seems to silly and unimportant to spend energy thinking about it.

But if your shoes are too small and tight or there is a rock in them it's all you can think about. Every step is annoying and miserable and you don't want to do anything else until you fix this damned rock. Doing anything else seems crazy until your shoes stop hurting you.

So I think in that sense, most people probably can't really conceptualize the feeling of their gender well because it just fits right and always has, so it's hard to imagine how all the small, normal things just constantly feel wrong, even if you are alone in your home.

In the end, empathy is the key to understanding. By finding more effective ways to present the experiences of marginalized groups, we can bridge the gap between these communities and those who deny them their rights. Or, in other words, teach them what it's like to walk a mile in their shoes.

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

carowendelinart/Instagram

A beautiful gift, indeed.

It’s amazing what values, wisdom, and even talents we bestow upon our kids simply by leading by example. Artist Caroline Wendelin got to experience this firsthand when her four-year-old daughter, who also loves painting and has spent a lot of time in Wendelin's studio ever since she was born, decided to make her very own canvas art as a gift to mom.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Wendelin shared that her daughter had mostly only used tempera sticks on small canvases and normal paper, but since seeing mom handle acrylics on big canvases, she wanted to give that a go.

So Wendelin gave her a large canvas, some acrylic paints, and let her go to work only offering guidance when asked, with suggestions like “maybe you can try adding the same colour but a few shades darker”, “would you like to add some circles or lines?”, or “have you tried covering all the white parts?” but mostly she just provided a loving container for her daughter to express herself and follow her imagination.

And truly, the results speak for themselves. The work is beyond a kid painting (not that regular kid paintings aren’t special in their own way). The composition, the color, everything is so meticulous and well done. Talk about a great gift. It’s totally understandable that Wendelin, who normally keeps things like this private, decided to share it online.

Since posting the video, which has been viewed over 8 million times, Wendelin’s daughter has received an outpouring of love, which Wendelin thinks is due to “her genuine joy while she's painting.”

“It brings a lot of people back to childhood memories, myself included."

She’s not wrong, judging by some of these comments. One person wrote, “Literally the physical representation of girlhood I remember when my mind looked like this also,” while another echoed, “How colorful the world is through the eyes of a child.”

Others were just impressed by the girls’ next-level skills

“Her use of color is INSANE. This looks like a David Hockney landscape. I just looked it up, David Hockney's landscapes he did in 4th grade look similar but are not quite as insane as what your daughter did...she's FOUR.”

“I’m obsessed with her style. She has a very clear voice 😍💖✨”

“Her concept of color theory is insane.”

You could chalk it up to artistic talent just running in the family, but there’s something to be said about how much of an impact it makes when kids are given the proper environment to explore their talents and interests—allowed to figure things out on their own, but still given proper guidance when they seek it out, and of course seeing adults setting good examples.

By the way, if you love this painting as much as everyone else does, prints of it will be available in a few days! Wendelin says that all proceeds will be for her daughter’s savings account for her future. Go to Wendelin’s website or follow her on Instagram to stay in the loop.

Joy

MoonPie renames Florida 'MoonPieTown' because apparently 'We can just do this now!'

A tweet from the company says the change is "effective immediately."

MoonPieTown? Might as well.

When the President of the United States changes the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America as one of his very first actions in office, you know we're living in unprecedented times. The fact that the world has called the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Mexico for 400 years and that the name change only affects people in the U.S. doesn't matter. Changing the name of a major geographical feature by executive decree was clearly seen as a vital, first-day-in-office priority.

Why? Excellent question. Another excellent question is how have we found ourselves in a version of the U.S. where there's a bill—an actual, official, "sitting here on Capitol Hill" bill—introduced to the House of Representatives "to authorize the President to enter into negotiations to acquire Greenland and to rename Greenland as 'Red, White, and Blueland?'” Taking over Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland. This is where we are. Might as well rename ourselves The United States of Absurdity at this point.

One of the ways people cope in unprecedentedly absurd times is humor, which is why a tweeted announcement from MoonPie, the famous chocolate-covered marshmallow cookie company of all places, has grabbed people's attention.

"Effective immediately," the tweet reads above a screenshot of a branded letter from the company.

The letter says:

To whom it may concern,

Thanks to recent geographical updates, we are excited to announce that the land mass previously known as Florida will now be referred to as MoonPieTown.

"But Florida is a state," you say. No, Florida was a state. Now it's MoonPieTown. We can just do this now!

Please continue to enjoy our delicious marshmallow sandwiches and don't think too much about it. :)

MoonPie

MoonPieTown is cute, but the "We can just do this now!" is the funny bone punch. It was a risky move, though. Some people found the announcement hilariously on point, while others vowed that they would never eat a MoonPie again. Apparently some were downright offended by the company's little jab at the executive branch.

In some ways, tweets like this are filling the void left by the loss of political cartoons, which served as an outlet for political parody and snark for centuries but have largely fallen by the wayside with the demise of print media. Political cartoons are still around, but the average person is far more likely to see a viral social media post making a political statement with humor than they are a cartoon these days. And humor, for better or for worse, has long been a vital coping tool for people dealing with political upheaval.

political cartoon of two men cutting up the earthA political cartoon from 1805Public Domain

"In the 19th century, the main form of political humor would be cartoons, and some were quite brilliant, biting, and powerful,” says Dr. Patrick Giamario, associate professor of political science at University of North Carolina Greensboro. “In the 20th century, we saw late night TV hosts and a few comedians doing HBO comedy specials. That brings us to where we are now. Everyone can engage in X memes and trolling. They can make funny videos on TikTok."

Giamario explores how political humor has evolved in his book “Laughter as Politics: Critical Theory in an Age of Hilarity” and says laughter over the political landscape is "a symptom of this time we’re in, with a lot up for grabs."

Humor in politics has long been a source of controversy, prompting questions about whether political issues should be taken more seriously. Some may argue that laughter in the face of authoritarian power diminishes it. Others argue that humor runs the risk of trivializing serious issues. Giamario warns of another issue in the modern era where humor meets capitalism.

"A lot of humor becomes mere entertainment,” he says. “A late-night TV show host making fun of the president may sound subversive or transgressive because they’re making fun of the most powerful person in the country. But they’re also trying to sell tickets or advertising. It can be quite cynical. Unfortunately, I think that’s where a lot of political humor has gone in the last decade.”

Jimmy Fallon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

However, he says, approaching political humor with intention and introspection can help people analyze its impact.

“What’s promising about laughter is its aesthetic effect,” says Giamario. “It shakes people, quite literally, in a physical sense. It shakes the body out of conventional, existing ways of thinking, whether it’s social, political, religious, or something else.”

Does a silly little tweet about MoonPieTown shake people's thinking? Maybe, maybe not. It does, however, provide a little comic relief for those who feel overwhelmed by the political tsunami washing over America, and maybe that's all we need from a cookie pie company.

@sva_feenstra/TikTok

Can you blame him, though?

For every picky eater out there, there is also a kid whose love for that one food item knows no bounds. Remember “Corn Kid” and “Pickle Girl”? Seems like they’ve met their match with Bronx, a 22-month-old with a red-hot passion for Hidden Valley ranch dressing…which coincidentally goes great with both corn and pickles, but that’s neither here nor there.

In a viral video captured by Bronx’s mom, Savannah Feenstra, we see the adorable toddler filling up his kiddie shopping cart to the brim with the popular condiment—along with a singular bottle of ketchup. Perhaps he was planning on jazzing things up a bit by mixing them together. Who knows.

As Feenstra explained in her onscreen text, she had told her baby boy that he could “pick a treat,” and this was his choice, apparently. Needless to say, she couldn’t help but crack up.

Watch:

While Feenstra mentioned in an interview with PEOPLE she didn’t end up buying all the bottles Bronx put in his cart (since that would mean emptying the store, essentially) she did buy in bulk, since they were on sale, joking that “After all, he spotted a good deal!"

All in all, people totally got on board with little Bronx’s ranch obsession.

"I’d choose the same thing," one person wrote, while another said, "Little guy has impeccable taste."

Even Hidden Valley Ranch entered the chat, writing "Smart kid," in the comments section.

And just how much does Bronx love ranch dressing? According to a follow-up video…enough to drink it straight. Yep, you read that right.

While this might be off-putting to some, Bronx found himself in good company.

“This is my spirit animal,” one viewer wrote.

Another echoed, "I found my twin.”

What can ya do, ranch is just one of those polarizing food items that people generally either get grossed out by, or want to bathe in. Bronx clearly falls into the latter category. In fact, a lot of kids like it for its rich, creamy, milky texture and mild taste.

And in case you're concerned, Feenstra also assured PEOPLE that Bronx “doesn’t live on ranch," and actually has “quite the refined palate for such a little guy,” with favorite foods ranging from blueberries, to avocados, to bananas, to hamburgers and shrimp. Though she did not specify which of these foods he probably drowns in the ranch.

And hopefully that love for ranch doesn’t run out any time soon, since Hidden Valley has apparently arranged to “send Bronx a gift.” We’re hoping for at least a 6 month supply for the wee fella.

It’s just so wholesome to see how kids can have such a pure, unadulterated joy for the simplest things, be it food, nature, a song, a color, you name it. And even more wholesome to see parents who support their adoration. Hopefully we can all find something to love as much as this little boy loves his ranch.

Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?