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There are actually 5 different types of imposter syndrome and each one feels a bit different

I'm a moose! I swear!

The term “imposter syndrome” is pretty commonplace in mental health circles. At first glance, the concept is simple: it’s that super fun (not) anxiety you get when success knocks at your door. You know, when someone tells you “good job!” and what you somehow hear instead is “you’re a fraud and I see right through you!” Just a bout of low self esteem, right? Eh, not so much.

As it turns out, imposter syndrome is a lot more complex and nuanced than that.

In her book “The Secret Thought of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It” Dr. Valerie Young uncovered that when it comes to feelings of inadequacy, there isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are actually, five, count 'em, five, different types of imposter syndrome … ready to knock us down a peg in the blink of an eye.

While it might be overwhelming to discover your “competence type,” as Dr. Young calls them—or hey, maybe you’ll be like me and realize you’re a bit of all five—recognizing it can be really helpful for identifying what’s holding your mojo back. As they say, knowing is half the battle.

Something worth noting: Despite the (very long) title suggesting that this is primarily a female issue, the author herself notes that men also come up against imposter syndrome. In fact, though experts formerly believed it was experienced mostly by women, that has proven to not be the case. In fact, under some circumstances, men might be more likely to feel it. Long story short: Everyone can benefit from this information.

Let’s break down those five types:

1. The Perfectionist

via GIPHY

Can the Type A, Overachiever, Micromanager Control Freaks please raise their hand? It’s OK, you’re welcome here.

For the Perfectionist, life is about setting excessively high, next-to-impossible standards for themselves. And then when inevitable failure comes along (again, impossible goals), that leaves the Perfectionist beating themselves up. Even the smallest error in a performance can suddenly morph into something huge. And from that point on, it’s the only thing that matters.

Perfectionism is its own brand of double-edged sword, as the fear of failure causes a hyperfocus on what might just be small details. And that can go one of two ways: overworking or procrastinating. Neither are very fun. And neither build confidence.

2. The Superwoman/man

Luisa Madrigal Encanto GIFfrom Luisa Madrigal GIFs

Just listen to the lyrics of Encanto’s “Surface Pressure” and you’ll get a quick understanding of what this one means.

To be a Superwoman/man means feeling like you must excel in every role of your life. Having to be the best spouse, the best parent and the best worker—all at the same time. Cause, who needs a healthy work-life balance? Not Superhumans!

People pleasing and Superhumaning go hand in hand, because the need to impress and “do good” is of the utmost priority. A day in the life of a Superwoman/man might involve saying yes to every request, neglecting hobbies and juggling plates to the point of burnout. But, of course, this comes at a cost, because at the end of the day no matter how super we are, we are still undeniably human.

3. The Natural Genius

Whats Even The Point Confused GIFfrom Whats Even The Point GIFs

If at first you don’t succeed … then don’t bother trying again because clearly you don’t have a natural gift for it.

Those who believe in Natural Genius subscribe to the idea that if something isn’t easy, then it isn’t a natural talent. And therefore, if you must work hard at something, you must not be very good at it. People must be born talented or skilled. Setbacks aren’t just setbacks, they’re bona fide stop signs. This can make life very frustrating, as hobbies keep getting switched, a scroll through social media thwarts all hope and opportunities for growth are missed simply because they are challenging.

The Natural Genius type might look like a symptom of laziness at first glance, but really, it’s another form of judging ourselves harshly. With such ridiculously high expectations, our confidence has nowhere to go but down.

4. The Soloist

via GIPHY

There’s no “I” in “TEAM,” but that’s OK because you don’t need a team anyway. You’ve got it all covered and don’t need any help. After all, needing others is clearly a sign of weakness … right?

Where independence is a valuable strength, the Soloist takes it to the nth degree. When you turn down assistance as a means to prove your worth and refuse to take any credit if you did receive any assistance … then you, my friend, might be a Soloist.

5. The Expert

via GIPHY

To the Expert, there is no greater defeat than having to utter those three little words.

I. Don’t. Know.

Because to this type, self-worth is directly linked with having as much knowledge and as many skills as possible. Learning as you go? Nah. Feeling ashamed when you come upon a question you can’t answer? Yes, please.

For the Expert, life is about striving for more. More courses, more training, more certifications. And yet still feeling like you just don’t quite have a handle on it all yet. Often Experts are held back from going after jobs they are already well qualified for, simply because they’re convinced they haven’t learned enough.

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

If imposter syndrome comes in many shapes and sizes, then it’s no surprise there's no be-all-end-all solution for it. A lot of it comes down to directly facing your fears and taking small steps (baby steps, even) toward a different outcome.

Here are a few ideas:

Celebrate any and all wins. Even the small ones.

Take a piece of paper and write it all out. Did you move at all today? Check. Brushed your teeth twice? Gold star for you. Writing out small successes might give you the validation kick that your little heart has been seeking.

Use your words.

Are you a perfectionist? Try the affirmation “Done is better than perfect.” A Soloist? How about “Receiving help allows me to be the best version of myself?” It’s a small gesture of self-love that really can help reframe our thoughts over time.

Stop scrolling.

If you find yourself looking at influencers, celebrities and teenagers showcasing their best moments and suddenly feeling inferior, then give yourself a digital detox. You might find a lot of extra time on your hands to put directly into building yourself up.

Seek the help of an expert.

This could be a mastermind group, a career coach or a therapist. Or, it could be delegating a certain task to a professional, such as hiring a housekeeper or accountant. This is a great way to ask for help (you’re welcome, Soloists) in a way that’s constructive.

At the end of the day, it’s understandable that many of us feel like frauds. But this feeling can be alleviated through a little honesty, some self-care and allowing ourselves to be both flawed and deserving all at the same time.

If you’re interested in taking a quiz to further dive into which type best fits you, you can check that out here.

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Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s worker. And here's my jaw dropping to the floor.

So we've all heard the numbers, but what does that mean in reality? Here's one year's wages — yes, full-time wages. Woo.

Making a little over 10,000 for a yearly salary.

I've written tons of things about minimum wage, backed up by fact-checkers and economists and scholarly studies. All of them point to raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting folks off of public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it.

Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of a full-time paycheck? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it would be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken system

One year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.

assets.rebelmouse.io

This story was written by Brandon Weber and was originally appeared on 02.26.15

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Family

Husband is certain wife’s baby name will cause too much pain for their child. Is he wrong?

"It's going to cause him major problems with passports and ID as well as job and college applications."

via Nathan Cowley/Pexels

A father can't handle the name his wife chose for the baby.

It’s one thing to debate with your spouse over giving your child a name that is so unique it could cause them trouble. It’s another to fight with your spouse over giving your child a name that is so incredibly common it’s used as a placeholder when an unidentified man has passed away.

This was the problem a Reddit user (The_Doeberman), whose last name is Doe, faced when his wife wanted to name their baby boy after her grandfather, John.

“My wife is six months pregnant and wants to name our future son after her grandfather, who died of cancer in September. His name was John,” the husband wrote on the AITA forum

“I liked her grandfather, and I know he and my wife were very close, but I won't even consider it, not even for our son's middle name,” he continued. “I feel that's just setting him up for a world of problems, especially when he grows up and has to apply for jobs. Nobody's going to believe ‘John Doe’ is his real name.”

The wife thought that the husband was being difficult for vetoing the name and claimed he was “exaggerating” the issues the child would face.

But he has a pretty strong argument. The name John Doe is synonymous with the unclaimed dead body that someone finds in a roadside motel in the middle of nowhere or an anonymous victim of trauma that can’t be named in court documents. It’s also often used as a placeholder, which could cause the child problems when applying for college or a job.

There is no exact answer to why John Doe was chosen to represent the “everyman,” but it has been used in the UK for hundreds of years. It’s believed because John Doe was a popular name at the time. Later, in the US, unidentified females would come to be known as Jane Doe.

The husband used Reddit’s AITA page to ask whether he was in the wrong and the commenters were overwhelmingly supportive of him.

One commenter thought that "John Doe" was a bad idea but gave a solution that could work for the wife. “People will think it's a fake name. It's going to cause him major problems with passports and ID as well as job and college applications. He may have issues with medical stuff etc.,” they wrote. Instead, they suggested using an alternative version of “John” from another language.

“As an example only: Look for other languages' version of John. For example Eoin is the Irish way of spelling Owen. Eoin in itself is the Irish version of John…” they wrote.

Another commenter was blunt about their objection.

“I'm not superstitious, but I'd feel uncomfortable having a kid whose name basically stands for ‘found dead in the park, stab wound to the chest, no ID,’” they added.

One commenter noted all of the legal troubles that could come with having the name John Doe.

“I imagine a lifetime of getting stopped by the TSA for enhanced screening, of job applications being tossed for being fake and just everything being harder than it should be because you have a fake name,” they wrote. “If giving him the grandfather's name is so important, why not give him the grandpa's middle name?”

In the end, it's touching for a mother to name their newborn son after her grandfather, but according to the father and a legion of people online, “John Doe” simply carries too much baggage and would be more of a hindrance than a tribute. The good news is that there are many ways that the wife can pay homage to her grandfather that won’t make her son’s life more difficult.

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Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

The map may not subvert one's intuitive assumptions, but it nonetheless quantities and presents the cost of living by geography in a brilliantly simple way. For instance, if you're looking for a beach lifestyle but don't want to pay California prices, try Florida, which is about as close to "average" — in terms of purchasing power, anyway — as any state in the Union. If you happen to find yourself in a "Brewster's Millions"-type situation, head to Hawaii, D.C., or New York. You'll burn through your money in no time.

income, money, economics, national average

The Relative Value of $100 in a state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

If you're quite fond of your cash and would prefer to keep it, get to Mississippi, which boasts a 16.1% premium on your cash from the national average.

The Tax Foundation notes that if you're using this map for a practical purpose, bear in mind that incomes also tend to rise in similar fashion, so one could safely assume that wages in these states are roughly inverse to the purchasing power $100 represents.

This article originally appeared on 08.17.17

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Health

Hospice nurse who's seen a hundred people die shares the one regret her patients always have

Gratitude is everything.

via Gustavo Fring/Pexels

A kind nurse offers a flower.

As the old saying goes, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.” Sadly, this hard truth becomes increasingly evident as we reach our final days. The things we take for granted today, such as our health, relationships, and time itself, become much more precious when we know they are about to end.

How much happier would we be every day if we lived with the perspective of those who are experiencing their final days?

Julie McFadden, known to her hundreds of thousands of followers on social media, as Hospice Nurse Julie, helps people appreciate their lives by regularly sharing her experiences with those who are living their final days.

Recently, she stopped by Rob Moore’s “The Disruptors” podcast, where she shared some of the big lessons she’s learned from the dying. Moore is a public speaker, entrepreneur and bestselling author of “Life Leverage.”

Given his background as an entrepreneur, Moore assumed that when people reach their final days, they regret the amount of time they spend working. "People definitely say that. 'I wish I didn't work my life away. I wish I didn't wait until retirement to do the things I wanted to do,'" McFadden said. However, there is another big regret that many share. “The main thing people say, that I don't hear a lot of people mention, is ‘I wish I would have appreciated my health,’” she added.

“I think the biggest thing I hear from people [who are] dying is that they wish they would have appreciated how well they how well they felt before,” she continued.

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A post shared by Julie McFadden (@hospicenursejulie)

It seems that when people’s health begins to decline, they miss the vitality they never fully appreciated.

"I think most people take for granted things that have always been,” she told Moore. “You know, it's really easy to forget. We're so lucky to be alive in this moment. We're taking a breath right now. We're here on a rock that's like soaring through space. I mean, that alone can blow your mind."

McFadden believes that her profession reminds her to be grateful because dying is just as natural as living.

“I think because of my job, it's easier for me to see how once-in-a-lifetime this is. The fact that everything works together in our bodies to make us live and grow and I see that in-depth, too. I see how our bodies are biologically built to die,” she said. “That, right there, is so fascinating. We literally have built-in mechanisms to help us die. Our body can naturally do it. That's wild."

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Julie McFadden (@hospicenursejulie)

To get the most out of the miracle of life, McFadden writes a gratitude list every night so she’s sure to appreciate everything she has. Because, in the blink of an eye, it can be gone. “I like the fact that I can breathe, I'm walking around, I can feel the sunshine – little things like that,” she shared.

Our lives are filled with incredible gifts, whether it’s the people we love, the amazing things our bodies can do, or the places we get to see. But without gratitude, these beautiful gifts can easily go unnoticed and unappreciated. Practicing gratitude allows us to cherish these moments, so we’re fulfilled by what we have, instead of disillusioned by what we don’t.

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Pop Culture

What is 'Generation Jones'? The unique qualities of the not-quite-Gen-X-baby-boomers.

This "microgeneration" had a different upbringing than their fellow boomers.

Photo Credits: Michelle Obama, US Department of Education, Lawrence Jackson

Generation Jones includes Michelle Obama, George Clooney, Kamala Harris, Keanu Reeves and more.

We hear a lot about the major generation categories—boomers, Gen X, millennials, Gen Z and the up-and-coming Gen Alpha. But there are folks who don't quite fit into those boxes. These in-betweeners, sometimes called "cuspers," are members of microgenerations that straddle two of the biggies.

"Xennial" is the nickname for those who fall on the cusp of Gen X and millennial, but there's also a lesser-known microgeneration that straddles Gen X and baby boomers. The folks born from 1954 to 1965 are known as Generation Jones, and they've been thrust into the spotlight as people try to figure out what generation to consider 59-year-old Vice President Kamala Harris.

Like President Obama before her, Harris is a Gen Joneser—not exactly a classic baby boomer but not quite Gen X. Born in October 1964, Harris falls just a few months shy of official Gen X territory. But what exactly differentiates Gen Jones from the boomers and Gen Xers that flank it?

"Generation Jones" was coined by writer, television producer and social commentator Jonathan Pontell to describe the decade of Americans who grew up in the '60s and '70s. As Pontell wrote of Gen Jonesers in Politico:

"We fill the space between Woodstock and Lollapalooza, between the Paris student riots and the anti-globalisation protests, and between Dylan going electric and Nirvana going unplugged. Jonesers have a unique identity separate from Boomers and GenXers. An avalanche of attitudinal and behavioural data corroborates this distinction."

Pontell describes Jonesers as "practical idealists" who were "forged in the fires of social upheaval while too young to play a part." They are the younger siblings of the boomer civil rights and anti-war activists who grew up witnessing and being moved by the passion of those movements but being met with a fatigued culture by the time they themselves came of age. Sometimes, they're described as the cool older siblings of Gen X. Unlike their older boomer counterparts, most Jonesers were not raised by WWII veteran fathers and were too young to be drafted into Vietnam, leaving them in between on military experience.

Gen Jones gets its name from the competitive "keeping up with the Joneses" spirit that spawned during their populous birth years, but also from the term "jonesin'," meaning an intense craving, that they coined—a drug reference but also a reflection of the yearning to make a difference that their "unrequited idealism" left them with. According to Pontell, their competitiveness and identity as a "generation aching to act" may make Jonesers particularly effective leaders:

"What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs. Our practical idealism was created by witnessing the often unrealistic idealism of the 1960s. And we weren’t engaged in that era’s ideological battles; we were children playing with toys while boomers argued over issues. Our non-ideological pragmatism allows us to resolve intra-boomer skirmishes and to bridge that volatile Boomer-GenXer divide. We can lead."

Time will tell whether the United States will end up with another Generation Jones leader, but with President Biden withdrawing his candidacy, it has now become a distinct possibility.

— (@)

Of note in discussions over Kamala Harris's generational status is the fact that generations aren't just calculated by birth year but by a person's cultural reality. Some have made the argument that Harris is culturally more Gen X than boomer, though there doesn't seem to be any record of her claiming any particular generation as her own. However, a swath of Gen Z has staked their own claim on her as "brat"—a term singer Charli XCX thrust into the political arena with a post on X that read "kamala IS brat." That may be nonsensical to most older folks, but for Gen Z, it's a glowing endorsement from one of the top Gen Z musicians of the moment.

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