+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Identity

What's the best response to 'Dad, I think I'm gay'? Here are 20 of the funniest and most heartfelt.

There are some perfectly deplyed dad jokes in here.

coming out, lgbtq, coming out stories

A young woman comes out to her father.

In a previous Upworthy article, we shared how dad jokes aren’t just a way for fathers to embarrass their children. But a way to build them up and teach resilience is by showing that it’s ok to embarrass yourself.

When a dad tells a joke that gets more of a groan than a laugh, it demonstrates his ability to handle an uncomfortable situation. According to researchers, dad jokes appear in many cultures and are a way for fathers to teach their kids that it’s okay to put themselves out there without worrying about what other people think.

A recent viral thread on Reddit shows how some fathers have used dad jokes to show how they accept their child’s sexuality in a way that made a tense situation comfortable for everyone.


A Redditor with the username Expert_Recover3061 asked the online forum, “What’s the best response to ‘Dad, I think I'm gay’?” the question received nearly 24,000 responses. Many of the stories were first-hand accounts of people who were afraid to broach such a sensitive topic with their father and were surprised he responded with love and a side of humor.

The responses are a great way to show people the best way to support their LGBTQ children. Here are 20 of the best replies to the question: “Dad, I think I'm gay.”

1.

"Your mother owes me £10." — PotterWhoLock01

2.

"You still have to wear a condom." — Ginchy1971

3.

"It's okay, your mother likes guys too, maybe I am the weird one." — Drendari·

4.

"'I thought you were about to give me bad news! Don’t scare me like that!' My granny when my uncle came out in the ‘70s. She was decades ahead of her time." — LongjumpingCake1924

5.

"One of my friends from high school was gay, and when he came out to his family his dad literally didn’t look up from his newspaper and told him his sister didn’t need to tell him she was straight so why would he need to explain that he was gay? He’s known him his whole life and already knew that. It was cute because he was so worried." — 0Diamond0

​6.

"You still have to take out the garbage." — Most_Original_329

7.

"When I came out to my dad when I was 16, I thought he would disown me. He said: 'Son If anyone ever hurts you for that, I’ll f**king kill them.' In that moment, I realized that I had the best dad in the world." — Winterpegs

8.

"This story does not involve a dad, but it involves a very religious grandma. One of my friends was very nervous about telling his grandma that he was gay, and put it off for a long time. But when he turned 18, he decided that he had to get this done. When he told her she just looked at him calmly and answered, 'Of course you are. I have known that since you were 10.' At the age of 10, he didn't even know it himself yet." — Ashtar-the-Squid

9.

"I was getting ready to go to a sleepover with a girl I was totally crushing on and my mom was like 'You look like you’re getting ready for a date!' And I paused and was like 'Would it be okay if I was….Going on a date with a girl?' My mom just said, 'Of course, just remember to practice safe sex. You can get STDs from girls too!'" — Psychological-Run679

10.

"Lesbian here. When I came out to my dad, he said 'That’s okay honey, I don’t like guys either.'” — wafflemaker9093

11.

"My daughter was looking extremely nervous one night while I was cooking dinner. I could see her talking quietly with her mom but she continued to look uneasy. After a bit of time, she came into the kitchen and I asked her what was wrong. She didn't want to tell me at first but I could tell she was uneasy so I said she could always tell me anything. She finally said that she was pansexual. I just looked at her and said 'That just means twice as many people that can turn you down for dates now' and she busted out laughing as I went back to cooking to finish dinner. She was apparently really nervous about telling me for some reason and was glad I wasn't upset." — tahquitz84

12.

"When my daughter told me she was gay, I just told her I loved her, and that none of that would change my feelings. Then I began giving her the heads up when hot ladies would walk by." — PLoddingClot

13.

"My stepdad, who I consider my dad, was the man that raised me, and he's a big redneck steel worker. I came out at 18 and he sat me down and said 'Son, I've loved you like you were my own for the past 14 years. Why the hell would I stop now?''" — KeyboardRoller

14.

"Take a note from Olivia Coleman in Heartstopper: 'Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me that.' Honestly, that would have been the perfect thing to hear." — Amastarism

15.

"My friend's daughter came out to her parents when they were all over at my house. Her dad looked her dead in the eye, took a deep breath, and in his big, booming voice said 'DUUUH!' We all got a good laugh but he just said, 'Sweetheart, I couldn’t care less who you love. All I care about is that they treat you with love and respect and that you’re happy. And maybe your gf will like working on cars with me.'” — ItsMRslash

16.

"Hi gay, I think I’m dad. Seriously though when my son came out I just said he was my son and it changed nothing between us other than I was happy he was discovering himself and growing up. Any man who would abandon or shun his own son for being gay is no man at all." — Open_Action_1796

17.

"Firstly, I love you. Now, did you steal one of my beers?" — February83

18.

"When I came out my dad had the best response ever: 'Wow! Now maybe I'll get a son-in-law that I really like!' and then he hugged me." — Gracie305

19.

"A customer of mine told his gay and trans kids 'I’d still love ya even if you were straight!'" — RoyStokes

20.

"A guy in a Walmart parking lot was on the phone and screamed, 'I don't care if you're gay, as long as you marry someone rich!' And angrily hung up the phone." — Shecallsmeherangel

Education

Why didn't people smile in old photographs? It wasn't just about the long exposure times.

People blame these serious expressions on how long they had to sit for a photo, but that's not the whole picture.

Public domain images

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.

1800s photographsWhy so serious? Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain

In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

wedding party photoEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons

Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

Family

Mom's viral take on 'kids vs. marriage' offers a refreshing perspective on family balance

Parents are embracing her view that it’s okay to let kids be the ‘main characters’ for now.

Kaitlin Klimmer and her husband Michael

As many parents know, balancing marriage and parenthood is no easy feat. Kaitlin Klimmer, a baby and toddler sleep expert, sparked a conversation on Instagram with an eye-catching statement: “My marriage doesn’t come before my kids.” Her post resonated with thousands, challenging the notion that parents must always prioritize their relationship above all—even during the intense, early parenting years.

"Basically, IT’S OK if in these chapters, the kids are the main characters of our love story. We still have the rest of the book to write."

— Kaitlin Klimmer

Reflecting on an early attempt to reconnect with her husband, she shared, “When my first was a baby, our family kept telling my husband and I we ‘needed’ to reconnect and we ‘needed’ to prioritize our relationship and we ‘needed’ to go out on a date just the two of us. So we did. And I was anxious the entire time... The best part of the night was changing into our sweats, putting my sleeping baby on my chest where she belonged, and cuddling on the couch to watch a movie together.”


Klimmer and her husband Michael have been together for 12 years and married for five. They have two young daughters, ages 7 and 3, and a third child on the way. Their approach to balancing family needs is seasonal, she explains—intense parenting now doesn’t mean ignoring their marriage; it just means it looks different.

Questioning the “bounce-back” culture

Klimmer’s message also critiques “bounce-back” culture, which pressures new moms to return to pre-baby routines, including regular date nights. “The pressure to maintain the pre-baby relationship POST babies is just another example of the patriarchy telling women… no one around them should feel the impact of having those kids—including their partners,” Klimmer wrote.

Followers agreed, with @michellethompson_sa commenting, “Our kids are 1000% our number one priority, and my husband and I couldn’t be happier.” Another added, “Kids come first. They are only little for a short time—they always need you, but when they are older, it’s not the same as when they are babies.”

Other commenters, like @littlebearlactation, argued that parents shouldn’t feel pressured to choose, saying, “You can absolutely meet your kids' needs without putting marriage on the back burner… It’s not either-or. It can be both.” This sentiment aligns with studies, such as one published in the Journal of Family Psychology, which found that stable parental relationships can foster secure family environments.

Trusting a strong foundation

Klimmer’s approach focuses on trusting the strength of her relationship through early parenthood. “My husband is a grown man with a developed brain. He understands that the intense neediness of young children is a relatively short phase in our relationship,” she said, adding, “If my husband and I put our marriage on the ‘backburner’ for a bit during this season, it’s a blip in the radar of what will be a decades-long partnership.”

Embracing “micro-moments” over big gestures

For Klimmer, staying close doesn’t mean big date nights but finding “micro-moments” to connect: watching a favorite show together or just chatting after the kids are asleep. This approach resonated with many parents who feel overwhelmed by the expectation to maintain a “perfect” marriage while meeting young kids’ needs.

“We are both involved in raising our little guy and try to show him what a healthy partnership looks like,” said @sashalekasha. “I feel like this has actually made our marriage grow stronger with time.” This view aligns with insights from Psychology Today, which suggests that shared parenting itself can strengthen marriages.

Not everyone agreed...

Some commenters felt strongly that prioritizing the marriage is essential for family health. @lindsaylayden shared a counterpoint, saying, “Not only is it important to prioritize your marriage to keep it healthy so it doesn’t fall apart when the kids grow up, BUT keeping it healthy and prioritizing it brings safety to the home as a whole. Your kids want to see their parents happy and stable. That’s not going to happen if the marriage is on the back burner.”

"When parents prioritize their marriage they show their kids ‘we love you but our job is to help you become a great, successful, confident person not make you the center of our world’.”

— @lindsaylayden

For some, like @lindsaylayden, keeping the marriage in focus helps provide a stable and nurturing home, showing children what a committed relationship looks like and fostering a sense of security.

Finding what works for your family

Ultimately, Klimmer’s post is a reminder that families are unique, and each finds its own rhythm. While some parents argue that nurturing the marriage offers stability, others see focusing on their children as a natural, temporary shift.

"How about we not judge or assume our way is the best way at all? We’re all empowered to make decisions that work for us and for those we love."

— @bethbovey

Klimmer added that she and her husband both prioritize their children, and this choice has strengthened their bond rather than weakened it. She wrote that their united approach actually makes them feel “really connected in this journey of caring for little humans.” Klimmer’s story reminds us that the best way forward is to let each family thrive. Whether you’re a “children come first” parent, a “marriage comes first” parent, or somewhere in between, the only right choice is the one that makes your family feel whole.

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs couldn't even reach the pedals, but that didn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy in 2022. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.


Alberto first started playing in 2020 in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Italy was one of the first countries to experience a serious lockdown, and Alberto's mother used the opportunity to start teaching her son to play piano. Alessia Cingolani and her husband Simone Cartuccia are both music conservatory graduates, and mom Alessia told Italian entertainment website Contrataque that she and her husband recognized Alberto's talent immediately.

She said that although Alberto spends a lot of time at the piano, he also has plenty of time for school and play and television, like a normal kid.

There's genuinely nothing "normal" about this kid's piano playing, though. Watch:

Wow, right? There are countless adults who took years of piano lessons and never got to that level of playing. It's like he's channeling Amadeus himself.

According to Corriere Adriatico, by the time he was 4 1/2 years old, Alberto had participated in seven national and international online competitions and won first place in all of them. His mother told the outlet that he started out practicing for about 10 minutes a day and gradually increased to three hours.

"He has a remarkable flair for the piano," she said. Um, yeah. Clearly.

Some commenters expressed some concern for the boy based on his seriousness and what looks like dark circles under his eyes in the video, but if you check out other videos of Alberto playing at home, he is more relaxed. Most of his playing and competition entries have been done online, so performing for a crowd is probably new for him. And in interviews, his mother has made it clear that they prioritize normal childhood activities.

Some children are just genuine prodigies, and Alberto certainly seems to fit that bill. Can't wait to see what kind of musical future awaits this kid.


This article originally appeared on 5.4.22

@bigtimeadulting/Instagram

"Memories not macros."

It was hard enough to find sound health advice before social media. But now, we are bombarded by conflicting information, pseudoscience, and product-pushing from influencers every time we open up Instagram or TikTok.

Just to really drive home the next level ridiculousness of it all, a mom named Caitlin Murray recited every single bit of diet, fitness and wellness advice you've no doubt heard online in one hilarious take.

Delivered with all the dryness of a Daria episode, Murray begins:

"Hey ladies. Have you been struggling to lose belly fat? Guess what? You've ruined your metabolism by not eating enough. You're not getting enough protein. Okay, you're going to need to take grams of protein and multiply it by the number of stars in the sky, and that's how much protein you're going to need in a day in order to lose weight, but you're also going to need to stay in a caloric deficit in order to lose weight. Idiot."

But of course, she quickly retorts, “you also have to live your life, okay. Memories not macros."

Also included in her “advice” is to start lifting heavy weights 3-4 times a week and stop doing cardio…while also still getting in 10,000 steps per day, “"Sounds like cardio but we don't call it that anymore." That one had me literally LOL’ing.

In essence, we need to "Get with the times," Murray says. Which is really simple: get your 10,000 steps every day, but don't exercise every day. Oh, and rest. “Otherwise your cortisol levels are going to be through the roof."

And if you’re still somehow confused by all this, don’t worry. Just comment “science” to receive Murray’s “six-week plan to get totally snatched.” Oh, and “follow for more tips."

It wasn’t long before thousands of viewers applauded Murray for her spot-on accuracy.

"You are ... hilarious! And yes, it does feel EXaCTLY like that! Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone," one person wrote.

Another echoed, “The F’d up thing is that this was probably the most comprehensive and logical summary of all the shit on my IG feed these days. So, thank you? 🙃”

A few celebrities even chimed in. "Omg this is the funniest thing ever," Pink wrote, while model Molly Sims added, "You're PHENOMENAL."

In an interview with Good Morning America, Murray shared that her own frustrations with being exposed to so much wellness content inspired her parody.

"I've been consuming this content like it's my other job,” she told GMA. And during that time she had repeatedly come across fitness catchphrases like "snatched" and "belly fat," which are specifically targeted toward women. Shocker.

Besides offering the world some grade-A comedy, Murray hopes it also reminds people—especially women—that there are no extreme diets, pricey supplements, or quick-fix plans that can replace long term, consistent good habits. So all advice suggesting otherwise should be “taken with a grain of salt.”

But hey, at least you burned a few extra calories giving yourself a good laugh.

'Love is Blind' alum tackles mental health of reality tv stars

Since MTV first aired "The Real World" in 1992, people have been obsessed with watching people's real life interactions from the comfort of their home. It started off sort of like people-watching, but subsequent shows like "Big Brother" and "Survivor" kicked it up a notch. Instead of just watching a bunch of young roommates figuring out how to live with people from different backgrounds in a new city, it became high intensity, curated living situations.

Basically, 1999 was the last year that reality television resembled a form reality. By the year 2000, unscripted TV became people-watching on steroids. By putting people on an island they can't escape while having to complete challenging tasks with strangers or in a house filled with cameras that they're not allowed to leave cranked up the drama.

Audiences lived for the alliances formed, the enemies made, the arguments, and in more recent years, the love triangles. It all makes for excellent television, but there's a pretty large caveat that seems to be overlooked—these are real people. There's a misconception that because someone is on television that they're overpaid, but the reality is, people that star on unscripted television shows aren't paid very well.

File:Real world go big or go home.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

In fact, most cast members have regular jobs or no job to return to. Many are lacking adequate insurance, if they have insurance at all. A lot of them go onto these shows in good faith, hoping to find love, win life-changing money or hoping to land a scripted gig to further their career aspirations. But there are things that go on behind the scenes of reality television that cast members aren't privy to until the contract is signed and cameras are rolling.

While audience members speculate if producers are creating scenarios to increase the drama, it's something that is very rarely confirmed. But even if you're a huge fan of that kind of TV, you're not typically hoping for some sort of mental harm to come to the cast members whether you like them or not. Yet, more than 20 reality TV stars have died by suicide since 2004 and it seems no one was really addressing the issue in an impactful way until UCAN Foundation came into existence.

Bb22 GIF by Big BrotherGiphy

UCAN stands for Unscripted Cast Advocacy Network and was founded by former "Love is Blind" cast member, Jeremy Hart. who has since been joined by fellow alum, Nick Thompson. The two work with Licensed Clinical Psychologist Dr. Isabelle Morley to create a directory of qualified mental health therapists that have experience working with people in the entertainment industry.

"As a cast member of season 2 of Netflix’s 'Love is Blind,' I've experienced firsthand the abusive and exploitative environment perpetuated within unscripted production environments," Hart's UCAN bio reads. "I decided to start the UCAN Foundation to create a catalyst for change in an industry that historically has been immune to transparency and accountability in its practices."

Challenge Digging GIF by Survivor CBSGiphy

The goal is to connect reality television cast members with therapists that either accept the cast member's insurance or can provide services at a reduced rate. This isn't something just for cast members that are no longer on the show; they provide assistance before, during and after production. UCAN isn't just a mental health matching service, either; the nonprofit assists with contract review, helping cast members understand their rights and legal support if a dispute arises. The board of directors is also made up of former reality television cast members, so there's an empathetic ear at every turn.

Hart and Thompson teamed up with More Perfect Union for a short documentary about the realities unscripted TV cast members face. In a shocking revelation, the alleged mistreatment starts immediately.

Love Is Blind Television GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

"They are in control of every element of your life. You're put into a hotel room and you don't have a key. You don't have access to water unless you want to drink it out of the faucet or the shower. We're all just sitting there not being fed on a regular cadence but definitely being fed a lot of alcohol," Thompson shares with More Perfect Union.

Hart discloses an initial experience equally as concerning. "Not only did they take our phones, they took our wallets, they took our IDs, they took our passports, all in the same instance, without telling us ahead of time this was going to happen," he says. "You never see daylight unless you're allowed to use the bathroom, which is a trailer outside."

UCAN's website asserts, "While the content is enjoyable, you may not realize how much exploitation goes on behind the scenes. Many cast members are treated poorly, subject to inhumane working conditions, sophisticated psychological manipulation tactics and a threatening atmosphere—all for little to no pay. Cast members often leave shows mentally distraught with nowhere to turn."

Additional cast members have come out to talk about their time on different reality shows, which seems to be similar to the experiences of Hart and Thompson. With reality TV becoming a large part of Western culture, it's not likely to end anytime soon. But thanks to UCAN and their team of dedicated former cast members and therapists, no reality television star has to go through the process alone while the agency fights for conditions to improve.