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Identity

A message to my fellow Christians: I hope you're having a super uncomfortable Pride month

I know from painful, hard-earned experience what discomfort can do to change minds.

Two people smiling together wearing Pride gear
Photo credits: Mary Katherine Backstrom, Steve Johnson/Pexels

Nobody should live in fear.

This post was originally published on Substack. You can find it here.

I was a small town, conservative girl when my husband and I relocated to Orlando, Florida. I spent my time going from work to the barn, work to the barn, crying as I brushed my horse's mane.

"I'll never make friends in this town,” I sobbed over the phone with my mom one night.

The next day at work, I met Matt.

He had a brilliant smile and a southern drawl and he sounded like home. He loved horses, too, having spent years doing rodeo. Our friendship was instant and easy.

He visited the barn and taught me how to lasso. I picked up his favorite latte on the way to work. And on our lunch breaks, he would gush all about the love of his life, Jesse. I assumed Jesse was a girl, but that assumption turned out to be wrong. When we all met for lunch one day, I couldn't conceal my shock.

"Oh my GOSH, Matt! You're gay?"

"Um, DUH." He laughed. “Did the cowboy hat throw you off?”

I then remembered he had recently pointed out a bar a few blocks from my house. He mentioned that it was a fun place to go, and I replied that one day we should….but I hadn’t noticed the rainbow details.

"MK, your gay-dar isn't malfunctioning. It's completely nonexistent."

Matt and Jesse told me funny stories about drag contests and bouncers who wore shorty shorts. They insisted I would love Thursday night karaokes, but I assured them it wasn't my scene.

I blushed and giggled a little at the idea. It sounded fun, if not a bit scandalous.

Two people smiling together wearing Pride gear

Pride is not just some party.

Mary Katherine Backstrom

A week or so after that hilarious lunch date, I was driving home from a friend’s house, when I witnessed a young lady get struck by a car. I swerved to the side of the road and jumped out of my vehicle, screaming.

In an instant, people poured out of the bar to assist in the emergency. I barely registered that they were dressed flamboyantly. Their make up didn't strike me as strange. In that moment, we were all scared human beings. Their hearts were racing just like mine.

A drag queen cradled the woman’s head in his hands as I called the police.

“Don’t move, baby girl,” he comforted the woman. “Don’t mess up these pretty braids.”

It was a fraction of a moment that felt like forever. I can still hear her crying for Momma. Thankfully, the club was a block from the hospital. The ambulance arrived in an instant.

When the lights and sirens finally faded, my adrenaline couldn’t handle silence. It was like every one of us had been shaken like soft drinks, and in that moment, we had all cracked open. There were hugs and prayers exchanged between strangers. I remember someone humming a hymn.

Then slowly, one by one, the crowd dispersed. We had to go back to our lives. But not before exchanging a couple of phone numbers, promising to disperse any updates.

I called my friends, Matt and Jesse. I knew the gay community was a close one and I wondered if they had heard any news.

Matt asked around, but didn’t hear much.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “We will know more tomorrow.”

I decided to stay up until then.

The next morning, we all went to breakfast with the drag queens who had started a text thread for updates. We bonded over hash browns and our collective trauma—and after coffee, just some regular life stories.

The woman, we learned, was in critical condition. Two broken legs and a fractured spine. James, who had cradled her head so gently, had probably saved her life. Turns out, he had done so with great intention because not only was he a drag queen, but once a month he returned to his rural hometown to serve as a medic for the volunteer fire department.

A hero. An absolute gem of a human.

Two years later, those same gentle heroes were working their jobs at Pulse when a hate-crazed terrorist made his way through the doors with a semi-automatic rifle. When he first started shooting, some patrons kept dancing.

They thought it was part of the music.

That detail never fails wreck my heart.

They kept dancing.

They just wanted to dance.

I’ll never forget the pit in my stomach as I stared at my phone through the night. Praying each name in that years-long text thread was sleeping at home in their beds. After four sleepless nights, we received confirmation—two of the group had been working. Both had escaped and survived the massacre.

But it wasn’t a happy ending.

An act of hate forever changed their lives, and they were deeply, irreversibly altered. One turned to drugs and the other disappeared. I pray he is still alive, somewhere.

But, yes. They survived. Thank God, I should say.

In an act of terror that killed 49 and hurt scores more, they were the lucky ones.

But when I think of that word...”lucky”.

God, it honestly pisses me off.

That’s how low the bar is, y’all. That’s where we are as a society.

Our gay friends are sometimes just lucky to survive.

How can this be who we are?

If you talk to the LGBTQ community, and I mean really get to know them, you will hear a whole lot of heart breaking versions of what they consider to be “lucky.”

Their parents didn’t disown them. They are lucky.

They haven’t been physically assaulted. Lucky.

They survived a terrorist attack.

Lucky.

I am so deeply over this shit.

Nobody, nobody should live in fear. Nobody should feel lucky that they’ve avoided physical abuse, or emotional abuse, or my Lord, mass murder.

Six short years after the Pulse shooting, what is it going to take?

Look how broken America is. Look what this hate has cost us.

And look at the religious mouthpieces for hate who are becoming more and more emboldened.

Just last week, I posted a meme celebrating the beginning of Pride. It said:

Wishing all the homophobes a SUPER uncomfortable month!

I post it every year and I usually laugh my butt off. It’s too easy to predict all the comments. It’s the same old crap, different mouths, every year.

“Well, that’s not very Christlike.”

“I don't hate anyone! I hate the sin, but I don’t hate the sinner.”

“Ohhhhhh, well who is intolerant now?”

This year, I am truly done laughing. I used to abide this shit, but to be honest, I really can’t do it, anymore. I’ve read and I’ve lived through enough horrible history to understand this terrible truth: Polite hate is the most dangerous kind of hate. It loads the gun, then just backs away quietly.

Christians, please, open your eyes. It’s two thousand and freaking twenty four. I know that you know exactly how this works. You don’t get a pass for good manners.

I won’t let you hide behind pat platitudes when your beliefs give motive to terrorists.

You don’t get to say “it’s the sin that I hate” when that mantra makes bullets for terrorists.

And yah, I guess you could call me intolerant. Smack that sticker on my forehead, I don’t care. For years, I have tolerated far too much from the bigoted backrow Baptists. But the paradox of tolerance states that if a society's practice of tolerance is inclusive of the intolerant…in the end, intolerance will win the day.

And that’s exactly how people die dancing.

So yah, not only do I wish the homophobes reading an incredibly uncomfortable month—I hope this discomfort convicts your soul, and makes you question EVERYTHING. I hope the itch in your spirit spreads to places you can’t bend over to scratch.

I hope enough people walk away from your screeching that you are left alone with your hate. And I hope that hate makes you sick to your stomach when you realize the harm it has caused.

Being gay is not a sin. And Pride is not some party.

It’s a courageous protest that weak minded fearful bigots just can’t comprehend.

It’s authenticity in the face of oppression. Vulnerability in the face of violence.

Pride is the spirit of millions of people who have chosen to dance in the crosshairs.

Growing up in the church, I was frequently told that there are evil forces at work. That these forces were fighting against God’s will, and causing harm to His people. Now, I can see that the threat was true, but it was coming from inside the house.

There are evil, hateful forces at work right now…against the LGBTQ community. Some of those forces look like Saints when they’re hiding behind stained glass.

It’s gonna take a force, equal and opposite in power and passion, to turn the church around. So, if you’re a Christian who has been fence-sitting this issue, it’s time to get off the damn fence.

This June, I beg you to look past the prejudice and the preaching you’ve had crammed down your throat your whole life. Look past your anger, and your pastor’s fear. Look at these beautiful humans. Trying with all their hearts to claim the dignity and love and safety that they, as humans, deserve.

This?

THIS is what you are scared of?

These are the forces of evil?

If that’s what you think then, my friend, you’ve been brainwashed.

I get it. I was brainwashed, too.

But all along, I deep down in my heart, I knew there was something amiss. I couldn’t quite rationalize what I knew of God’s love with the hate I saw coming from church.

For twenty years, I was too afraid to challenge my faith. I thought that it might fall apart.

But that is EXACTLY why I wish all the homophobes a SUPER uncomfortable month. Because I know from painful, hard-earned experience what discomfort can do to change minds.

So, instead of doubling down on your hateful theology…I ask you, non-affirming Christians, in the name of our faith. In the name of God’s love.

Will you please put your weapons down?

Will you consider the lesson that I learned on the street in front of Pulse so many years ago?

Will you feel the heartbeats of your fellow humans, and for once SEE YOURSELF IN THEM?

I beg you to try.

I beg you to grow.

It’s already been far too late.

You can follow Mary Katherine Backstrom on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

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National Geographic Documentary Films
National Geographic Documentary Films
Family

Nat Geo's 'Blink' tracks a family finding beauty while facing blindness as they travel the globe

“Let's go all in and fill their visual memory with as much beauty as we can."

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.

However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

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Education

The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to literary genius Leo Tolstoy

He was a master of understanding the human condition.

en.m.wikipedia.org
File:L.N.Tolstoy Prokudin-Gorsky.jpg - Wikipedia

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as"War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina.” His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul.

His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.

Juan de Medeiros, a TikTokker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent, and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women

De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

Through the words of Tolstoy, de Medeiros makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence. Truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.


This article originally appeared on 10.13.23

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Family

'It's not Little Sun': Mom admits she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

It was fine 'til other people tried to say it and now she's confused.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off-guard and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either.

"I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."


@justusmoms29

Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"

Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.



The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

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Internet

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

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Pop Culture

Non-Americans share weird things about the U.S. that Americans don't realize are weird

Apparently American conversational habits are legendary. 🇺🇸🤝

Photo credit: Canva

Our relationship to coffee is like no other.

One very fun thing about living in a vast, multicultural world is getting to discover how certain ways of life that you find completely ordinary are actually quite baffling to those outside of those customs.

Americans, for instance, might have no idea how strange things like being able to substitute things in restaurants or having toilets with a TON of water in them can seem to non-Americans.

How do we know this? Non-Americans said so.

Recently, Redditor rickyjones75 asked, "Non-Americans who have been to the US: "What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realize is weird?" And man, the responses were just too good not to share.

One thing that soooo many people mentioned, which might come as a surprise, was just how friendly Americans are.

Our social skills are apparently second to none—be it striking up random conversation or just being polite and kind to strangers.

As u/Muter put it, “Yall can strike a conversation with a tree. You literally don’t need anyone to respond and you’ll yabber away relentlessly,” adding, “I love it, I’m a fairly quiet dude - New Zealand’s a fairly reserved place, so just being able to stream your consciousness out like that is just something truly remarkable..”

u/Guycg also wrote, “Americans can strike up a sincere conversation and not be weird about it. No one precedes a question with 'Sorry to be weird'. They don't feel embarrassed if they don't know something. They can listen to you tell a story without jumping in to tell a vaguely similar story related to them.”

“I went there for university and honestly Americans just do a lot of little things that are generally nice. Holding the door open, smiling if you make eye contact while walking, randomly saying a quick greeting, etc. Random compliments too, and I never got the vibe that people were just making them up,” shared u/faeriefountain_

u/Bungle_bogs also noted how Americans are so “enamored you are with British culture and people.”

“I was invited to a BBQ, in a public place, by someone that I met because he liked the t-shirt I was wearing. I felt like some sort of celebrity! I’m an average guy, but everyone wanted to chat to me,” they said, adding, “I’ve traveled extensively and have met many other nationalities, whilst in their country. I’ve been made to feel welcome in almost all, but how I was treated once my accent was heard in the US was on another level.”

Also, it’s not just America’s tipping culture that leaves non-Americans scratching their heads. Here’s what a few folks had to say.

“The options when ordering food, I thought it was a TV joke! I feel naughty asking to swap chips for mash but you guys can request pretty much anything!” -Bizzle_B

“Weirdest thing for me, visiting Madison, Wisconsin, was the absolute top cheese curd selection and cheap and delicious local beer.” -u/Throwawaythisoneplz

“My friend from the Netherlands described his visit to the US as the 'land of endless choices' which is how Americans like it.” -u/RedSolez

“The restaurants expect you to NOT finish the food and take it home. My mother finds taking home leftovers from a restaurant to be embarrassing and will not do it. But American restaurants have portion sizes that seem to expect this.” -u/Repulsive_Tear4528

Aaaaand we also might have a caffeine problem (masking a productivity problem, of course).

“Coffee in the states is a ‘to go’ thing while in the rest of the world it's a ‘sit and relax’ thing,” said u/vivalaroja2010

"Coffee all the time. I got a tattoo in Barcelona and was completely embarrassed when I asked the artist if he wanted a coffee from next door. He told me, 'Oh no, I have to keep working.' He thought I wanted to go sit with him for a while."—u/MattSk87

America’s signature love of diversity in many forms also manifests itself in our lawmaking, which can be baffling to an outsider.

“Radically different laws for each state? like you could be illegal in one, then travel a few miles, then boom you're safe?” asks u/Frequent_Print7915

u/omnipresent_sailfish might have hit the nail on the head when they quipped, "The United States is not so much a single country as it is 50 raccoons in a trench coat."

Driving around in America seems to feel very odd as well.

“The gigantic open spaces everywhere. SO.MUCH.SPACE.” -u/Murmurmira

“The billboards on the interstates.... 'Only 20 miles to....,' 'Only 15 miles to....' and some chain or business. Oh, and fireworks... everywhere…” -u/Iracing_Muskoka

On a related note…"Driving through rural Oregon on US26 and seeing billboards proclaiming Hillary Clinton to be the anti-Christ who wants to steal your guns and eat babies."—u/ConstableBlimeyChips

“Tailgating on highway (even people complaining about tailgaters were themselves often tailgating).” - u/bolyai

"The car dependency. I was in LA, and when I said I was walking to places, people looked at me like I was out of my mind."—u/VisibleElephant

“The flags everywhere.” -u/davorg

Then there were a few things that even Americans can probably agree are on the weirder side:

“Putting the real estate agent's face on the for-sale signs.” -u/toastehmonstah

“Prescription drug ads on TV that casually say ‘side effects may include death.’ I was shocked.”-u/Lattice-shadow

“Your news channels display FAR TOO MUCH info on the screen.” -uRaioc2436

"Not using the coin/token system for your shopping carts. And while on the subject, grocery baggers are also super weird."—u/No_nukes_at_all"

The love for all things drive-thru. You can find 30 cars in a drive-thru and not a single person inside a place."—u/PrettyBoyLarge

"I've never been to the US, but something I think is really weird is how the election works there."—u/Cinefilo0802

“You guys do love your big cars, huh :p” -u/Bman1465

“The toilet is so FULL of water. I always have to convince myself that I'm not about to dunk my cheeks.” -u/Hazz3r

Speaking of toilets…"The gaps in toilet stalls."—u/Affectionate-Emu1374

“You advertise antidepressants on the TV. 🤯”-u/Melonpan78

And then some that totally caught us off guard:

"The taste of apples. I've tried ones in Turkey, New Zealand, Japan, Thailand, and China, and they all taste pretty much the same. American apples, on the other hand, are like frozen French fries with all the sweetness sucked out and replaced purely by weird sourness. My German, French, and Japanese friends also agreed with me."—u/PassakornKarn

"Measuring distance in time. (ex: 'I'm two hours away from you')."—u/sss100100

Dorito chips and Cheetos have like ten times the amount of orange powder. Everything is so sweet and tastes 'heavy' for some reason." —u/Bman1465 (Hmm, maybe this one isn't so much of a surprise…)

"Using paper towels to wipe things in and out of their homes. ESPECIALLY if they are inside the house." —u/passionate_milf

"I find military people boarding airplanes first strange."—u/MrChicken23

"Chips with everything; if you invite Americans to a party, definitely bring chips. Even if it's a romantic dinner, be prepared for chips." —u/Exotic_Second2734

"I was there on Valentine's Day. Random wait staff and hotel staff wished me a happy Valentine's Day and gave me roses. It was so weird. In Australia, it's a thing for couples only." —u/harrywho23

Lastly, our favorite: “They have those angry sinks that chop sh_t.” -u/Mind_Extract

Bet you’ve never thought of a garbage disposal that way. And you’ll never think about it the same way again.

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Mom has 4 big reasons why people shouldn’t 'shame' parents who send their kids to daycare

"I see her more than her daycare teacher sees her."

via Canva

Children playing at a daycare

There’s a popular sentiment among some stay-at-home parents and those with a family member taking care of their kids that it’s better than sending them to daycare. One common criticism is that parents who send their kids to daycare are letting other people raise their children.

This causes many parents to feel ashamed that they can’t be there for their children during the day.

However, Veronica, a mother of two, believes that stay-at-home moms who shame those who send their kids to daycare must stop perpetuating this myth because there are some great benefits that kids get out of daycare.

Veronica shared why that “narrative” needs to be reconsidered in a viral TikTok video with over 56,000 views.

@vfrieds

Giving parents guilt for daycare is CRAZY #daycare #momguilt #workingmom #daycarelife #workingparent

“I hate the narrative that if you send your kids to daycare, you're not raising them,” Veronica begins the video. “And people are like, ‘Oh, you know, we made some sacrifice. My kid used to have fun at Water Day, but now we go to the water park together’ and she's better for it,’” she said.

Then she shared four big reasons why parents need to stop daycare-shaming.

1. Not all parents can stay home

“One, that's not an option for every family. So, stop making moms feel like crap because they send their kids to daycare.”

2. Kids have fun at daycare

"Two, my kid freaking loves Water Day and daycare. In fact, she gets pissed when I pick her up 'cause she's having fun with her friends.'"

3. Kids learn a lot at daycare

“Three, she's so smart because they teach her so many things there. So smart.”

4. You don’t have to be either/or

“Like, I'm instilling morals with her. I see her more than her daycare teacher sees her. I can raise her and she can still have fun at school. They're not mutually exclusive like things.”

daycare, stay-at-home moms, parentingChildren playing at a daycare.via Canva

The video's commenters were overwhelmingly on Veronica's side. The most popular comment was from a woman who mentioned that stay-at-home moms will eventually send their kids to school. "My question to all the moms that feel that way, are they planning to stop raising their kids when they start kindergarten? Like, do they think they’re just done when they start 5k?" Tayler asked.

Others shared some of the many benefits that come with going to daycare.

"It's really frustrating when people assume daycare is something negative. I often say that we WANT her in school, she's learning so much and has great social skills and independence,” Elmarie wrote. "I’m an early intervention service coordinator and kids speech and emotional skills usually improve so much when they start daycare and school,” Tay added.

Is daycare good for children?

What do the experts say? Regarding whether sending your kids to daycare is outsourcing parenting, the findings show that home life has a much more significant impact on a child’s development than daycare. “An over-arching finding in the literature is that daycare influences are less important than home influences, even for children who spend much time in daycare,” Noam Shpancer Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today.

On the negative side, research shows that the quality of the daycare is very important and that kids raised in low-quality establishments can have some behavioral problems later on. On the positive side, daycare benefits “cognitive development and school readiness” in children and especially helps low-income children from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Given the positive aspects of having children in daycare, it’s interesting that parents are still shamed for doing so. Parents like Veronica should be happy about their parenting decisions because there is little to suggest that sending their kids to one means they aren’t raising them. Ultimately, the most important thing is quality care; if a child is in good hands, it shouldn’t matter where they happen to be.

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