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Education

When it comes to love, prehistoric humans have a lot to teach us all.

Discover seven things about pre-modern love that everyone — single, married, and everything in-between — really needs to know.

love, sex history
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Maybe we've doe some DEvolving in the love department

We're taught that "traditional love" goes something like this: Be a virgin, find a soulmate, get married, NEVER CHEAT, share resources, have kids, and dance at your 50th wedding anniversary.

It's a lot of pressure. And, frankly, if it really worked that way, divorce rates would be at 0%.


Love, as we know it, doesn't work the same way for everyone.

Chris Ryan, co-author of "Sex at Dawn" puts it like this: "You can choose to wear shoes that are too small, but you can't choose to be comfortable in them."

In other words, our outdated beliefs about the nature of sex and relationships could be hurting many of us.

"Sex at Dawn" was published in 2010, but people are still talking about it.

The book looks into prehistoric human sexuality — it studies the behavior of bonobos and other primates in order to get at the true origins of human love. Though readers loved it for offering a more positive vision of evolutionary psychology than ones proposed by Darwin, Hobbes, and Freud, the book isn't without its critics.

Still, as a filter for anyone trying to make sense of modern love, "Sex at Dawn" has a lot to offer.

Some of the insights in "Sex at Dawn" might surprise you, some might comfort you, some may shock you. It's an interesting journey into the prehistoric past, and it might sound more familiar than you'd expect.

So let's enter the shame-free zone and discover seven things about love that everyone — single, married, and everything in-between — really needs to know.

1. Competition was never about who was the biggest, strongest, or richest.

Disney, king, soulmates, relationships

The King doesn't always get what he wants.

media.giphy.com GIF via Disney's "Robin Hood."

Competition for mates didn't happen in our everyday actions, according to "Sex at Dawn." It all took place inside ... not our heads, but our bodies! The competitive advantage for males, prehistorically, wasn't decided in the ring of life, with men competing for wealth, status, and resources to woo a lady.

It was decided ... INSIDE THE FEMALE BODY. From the book:

"Rather, paternity was determined in the inner world of the female reproductive tract where every woman is equipped with mechanism for choosing among potential fathers at a cellular level."

So ovaries are the original matchmaker? And what they're matching is the right biological match from prehistoric ladies casting a very wide sex net?

The book is right when it states that this theory "turns the standard narrative inside out and upside down."

2. The friend zone isn't real.

movies, teen angst, comedies, funny

Bill and Ted are surprised by the situation.

media.giphy.com GIF via "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

Though the book mostly offers observations, it does posit one solution to the problem many societies have with thinking of female sexuality as property. You know the kind — frustrated Internet commenters complaining about being put in the friend zone (as if they had some prior claim to sex with a woman but the zoning commission came and denied that access to them).

According to the authors, there's a way out.

"If you’re unhappy at the amount of sexual opportunity in your life, don’t blame the women. Instead, make sure they have equal access to power, wealth, and status. Then watch what happens."

3. It's totally natural to miss or still have strong feelings for your exes.

movie stars, love, destiny, romance

The social norms are exposed through the movie "The Notebook."

media.giphy.com GIF via "The Notebook."

Back in the prehistoric day, it's believed that there wasn't really any such thing as an ex, because there wasn't really any such thing as a relationship.

In the olden days, a man wouldn't have even known for sure if he was a child's dad. He (and every other dude — and lady for that matter) would have more likely just assumed that they were each child's parent and provided and cared for them accordingly.

"... we hypothesize that Socio-Erotic Exchanges [forms a] crucial, durable web of affection, affiliation, and mutual obligation. In evolutionary terms, it would be hard to overstate the importance of such networks."

So if you find yourself getting that old feeling, just chalk it up to some prehistoric memories of communal village life, in which overlapping relationships were more like a '70s rock band tour bus.

cinema, music, autobiographical, Oscars, Hollywood

What happens on the tour bus, stays on the tour bus.

media.giphy.com GIF via "Almost Famous."

"For professional athletes, musicians, and their most enthusiastic female fans, as well as both male and female members of many foraging societies, overlapping, intersecting sexual relationships strengthen group cohesion and can offer a measure of security in an uncertain world."

4. Ladies make the first move.

Just not in the way you probably think.

dominance, pursuit, social norms, empowerment

The recently deceased Olivia Newton John makes her moves on John Travolta in the movie "Grease."

media.giphy.com GIF via "Grease."

It's all biology, baby. Meredith Small, an anthropologist cited in the book, suggests that during fertilization of a woman's egg, the egg actually may be reaching out and enveloping the sperm.

How's that for making the first move?

She goes on to emphasize:

"Female biology ... even at the level of egg and sperm interaction, doesn't necessarily dictate a docile stance."

5. Sexuality can be selfless.

Sex, in prehistory, was a way to bond your community together and provide a stable place for all the community's kids to grow, according to "Sex at Dawn."

I know. I'm a little scandalized by this as well. I'm a Methodist girl from Missouri; all this monogamish stuff is blowing my mind. But bear with me.

A story of elite World War II pilots stands out as an example of prehistory bumping into modernity.

WW2, pilots, war, history, sex symbols

Pilots of WW2 are markets with sex appeal.

Photo via Pixabay.

In World War II, the book notes, elite pilots were facing the highest fatality rates in the military. They had wives and families; they had a community. But every time they went to fight, they risked abandoning and possibly hurting that community in their death.

How'd they respond? These elite fighter pilots started to ease up on the strictness of their marriages and began some of the first "key parties" on record. Rather than being scandalized, author Chris Ryan was moved.

"It was so moving to think about what motivated them to open their marriages with other couples. They were cultivating these webs of love, or at least real affection, because they knew that some of the men wouldn’t survive the war, and they wanted the widows to have as much support and love as possible. This confluence of selflessness and sexuality seemed to connect so directly to the hunter-gatherer groups, where men also have a high mortality rate from hunting accidents, falls, animal attacks, and so on. It was an unexpected yet very clear reflection of the distant past."

6. The whole "women want resources and men want novelty" yarn is kind of contrived.

It's more subtle than that. And also, rude! This myth implies that all women trade sex for stuff, and that's not cool.

“As attentive readers may have noted, the standard narrative of heterosexual interaction boils down to prostitution: a woman exchanges her sexual services for access to resources."

Monogamy and relationships are assumed a default in our world. But they're not — they're a convenience born out of humans switching from hunter-gatherer mode to agriculture mode. The authors explain:

"... upheavals in human societies resulting from the shift to settled living in agricultural communities brought radical changes to women’s ability to survive. Suddenly, women lived in a world where they had to barter their reproductive capacity for access to the resources and protection they needed to survive."
beauty, health, standards, grooming, gender roles

The ladies on the television show, "Friends," wax their legs.

media.giphy.com GIF via NBC's "Friends."

Interesting. And totally outdated.

The good news is because this possessiveness isn't an innate human thing, that means just as we were conditioned INTO objectifying and commodifying women, we can condition ourselves right on out of it.

7. Sex doesn't have to be so serious.

As Ryan said in an interview with Dan Savage, "We hope [the book] encourages and empowers people to give themselves a break, to cut themselves and their partners some slack."

"We need to chill out. Like music, sex can be sacred but it doesn't always have to be. Sometimes we hear God in a Bach toccata, but sometimes we're just dancing and having a good time listening to the Rolling Stones. Nothing sacred about it."

If you try sometimes, you get what you need. GIF via The Rolling Stones.

This book is an interesting read, and it definitely provides a different lens on the way human sexuality came to be.

This article originally appeared on 02.12.16



True

Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

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Education

3,700-year-old Babylonian stone tablet gets translated, changes history

They were doing trigonometry 1500 years before the Greeks.

via UNSW

Dr. Daniel Mansfield and his team at the University of New South Wales in Australia have just made an incredible discovery. While studying a 3,700-year-old tablet from the ancient civilization of Babylon, they found evidence that the Babylonians were doing something astounding: trigonometry!

Most historians have credited the Greeks with creating the study of triangles' sides and angles, but this tablet presents indisputable evidence that the Babylonians were using the technique 1,500 years before the Greeks ever were.

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This iconic hotel transforms your favorite Christmas stories into frozen masterpieces

Ice artisans from around the world create a spectacular holiday canvas at Gaylord Hotels

Imagine stepping into a winter fairytale where your favorite Christmas stories are not just told but spectacularly frozen in time. This is what awaits you at the Gaylord Hotels' renowned ICE event. Each year, these iconic hotels transform into a frosty wonderland, where millions of pounds of ice are intricately carved into breathtaking scenes from beloved holiday tales.

It's not just an exhibit; it's an immersive journey through the heart of winter's magic. Whether you're a fan of the whimsical, the nostalgic, or just looking for a unique holiday experience, the ICE event at Gaylord Hotels promises a dazzling fusion of art and festivity, genuinely making it a standout holiday destination.

Artisanal Mastery Behind the Scenes

The magic of the Gaylord Hotels' ICE event doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s the handiwork of over 40 master ice artisans hailing from Harbin, China – a city celebrated for hosting the world's largest ice and snow sculpture festival. These artists travel thousands of miles to bring the stories to life, dedicating over six weeks to sculpting over two million pounds of ice.

Each stroke, carve, and chisel is a testament to their unparalleled skill. They transform colossal 300-pound ice blocks into delicate scenes, capturing the essence of holiday classics with astonishing precision. This intricate art form is more than just sculpting; it’s a way of storytelling that these artisans have perfected, turning ice into a canvas for holiday wonder.

The Magic of Ice Sculpting at Gaylord Opryland

At Gaylord Opryland in Nashville, the beloved holiday tale "The Polar Express™" springs to life in a frozen panorama. Imagine wandering through a world where the storybook train, the North Pole, and the enchanting characters are all intricately carved from ice. This isn't just viewing art; it's like stepping into the book.

The artisans' mastery shines in every detailed sculpture, capturing the warmth and wonder of the story in a paradoxically cool setting. Each scene, from the steam train's billowing smoke to the twinkling lights of the North Pole, is crafted to draw you deeper into the magical journey, making the Gaylord Opryland's ICE event a spellbinding experience that goes beyond mere spectacle.

A Christmas Story Comes to Life at Gaylord Rockies

Step into Gaylord Rockies, and you're stepping into a scene straight out of "A Christmas Story™." This Colorado location turns the timeless holiday film into an icy reality. Imagine gliding down ice slides beside Ralphie's house or peeking into the frosty windows of Higbee's department store, all sculpted from ice. It's an interactive playground where the story's most cherished moments are frozen in time, offering a unique twist on the traditional Christmas narrative.

The ice tunnels, resembling the streets of a snowy Indiana town, add to the immersive experience. Each slide, tunnel, and sculpture invites you not just to see but to actively participate in a winter adventure, capturing the essence of the beloved classic in a way you've never experienced before.

Whimsical Winter Wonderland at Gaylord National

At Gaylord National in Maryland, the timeless charm of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer™" is brought to life in a whimsical winter wonderland. As you wander this icy marvel, you'll meet Rudolph, Clarice, and the entire gang, all beautifully carved from ice. It's a scene that ignites childhood memories and creates new ones for families.

Picture the joy of snapping photos next to a life-size ice sculpture of Bumble the Abominable Snow Monster or standing beside the glowing red nose of Rudolph himself. This Maryland extravaganza is more than just a visual feast; it's an interactive experience where every corner offers a new opportunity for families to bond and capture memories that will last long after the ice melts.

Dr. Seuss’s Classic at Gaylord Texan

At the heart of Texas, the Gaylord Texan transforms into a Dr. Seuss wonderland with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" Each sculpture in this icy expanse brings the whimsy of Whoville and its quirky inhabitants to life. Visitors are invited to wander through scenes straight from the beloved book, encountering the Grinch, his loyal dog Max, and the cheerful Who-folk, all expertly captured in ice.

It's a place where Seuss's playful rhymes meet the magic of the holiday season, offering a delightfully unique spin on festive celebrations. From the Grinch's cave to the bustling streets of Whoville, these sculptures are not just impressive in scale but in the joy they bring, creating an unforgettable holiday adventure deep in the heart of Texas.

Holiday Nostalgia with “A Charlie Brown Christmas” at Gaylord Palms

In the sunny setting of Florida, Gaylord Palms takes a nostalgic turn with "A Charlie Brown Christmas." Here, ice transforms into a sentimental journey back to the simpler joys of the holidays, as seen through the eyes of Charlie Brown and his friends. As you stroll through the exhibit, the beloved Peanuts characters, from Snoopy's doghouse to the iconic sparse Christmas tree, are all vividly recreated in ice.

This Florida spectacle taps into the heartfelt essence of the season, reminding us of the warmth and joy that come with holiday traditions. It's a place where each frozen scene, from Charlie Brown's quiet contemplation to the jubilant group gathering, resonates with the timeless message of holiday spirit and togetherness.

Beyond the Ice - Additional Attractions

But the wonder at Gaylord Hotels extends beyond the ice. Each resort turns into a holiday hub, brimming with activities for all ages. Think dazzling light shows, snow tubing adventures, and even encounters with Santa himself! Culinary delights await at various dining venues, offering everything from festive treats to gourmet meals. And let's not forget the captivating live shows, ranging from acrobatic performances to heartwarming musicals.

Each Gaylord Hotel becomes a comprehensive holiday destination, offering an array of experiences to make your festive season truly unforgettable.

Experience The Magic

Don't just dream of a white Christmas; click here to learn more about the Gaylord Hotels' ICE event – your new holiday tradition awaits!

Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

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Family

Woman bakes cheeky curse word pies for her grandma and it becomes a quirky holiday tradition

2023's pie is an homage to her favorite word to use while stuck in traffic.

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You never know where a holiday tradition will come from.

Tried-and-true holiday traditions certainly have their merit, but there’s something quite special, magical even, about discovering personal rituals that commemorate one’s unique life. In my household, for instance, nothing quite rings in the Christmas spirit like sipping my partner’s delicious coquito and putting up a cardboard gingerbread house for my cats.

The beauty of creating customized holiday traditions is that they can be as festive, sentimental, or as silly as you want them to be. And you never know how one small moment can become the catalyst for a tradition that sparks joy year after year.

For Jess Lydon, that tradition is baking expletive-laden pies for Thanksgiving. (This is your profanity warning—the images below contain swear words.)

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Peter Bence's piano cover of "Africa" by Toto

Peter Bence’s performance of “Africa” by Toto has over 17 million views on YouTube because of his creative reimagining of the song and, well, just about everyone loves “Africa.”

Bence is a Hungarian composer and producer who has become a viral sensation for his Michael Jackson, Queen, Sia, and Beatles covers. He has over 1.1 million followers on YouTube and has toured the globe, playing in more than 40 countries across four continents.

His performance of “Africa'' is unique because it opens with him creating a rhythm track and looping it by strategically tapping the piano and rubbing its strings to create the sound of shakers and congo drums.

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Joy

Family posts a very chill note to neighbors explaining why their dog is on the roof

“We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door.."

via Reddit

Meet Huckleberry the dog.

If you were taking a stroll through a quiet neighborhood and happened to catch a glance of this majestic sight, you might bat an eye. You might do a double take. If you were (somewhat understandably) concerned about this surprising roof-dog's welfare, you might even approach the homeowners to tell them, "Uh, I'm not sure if you know...but there's a...dog...on your ROOF."

Well, the family inside is aware that there's often a dog on their roof. It's their pet Golden, Huckleberry, and he just sorta likes it up there.

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