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6 songs that seem romantic but aren't, and one that seems like it isn't but is

Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.

6 songs that seem romantic but aren't, and one that seems like it isn't but is

The Beach Boys (1965)

Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.


Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.


On the other hand, that time you told that girl you just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."

Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.

That time you held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? You did that because of a love song. And 50 hours of community service later, you're still not back together.

Love songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.

They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.

Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:

1. "God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys

You can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."

When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.

Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

File:The Beach Boys (1965).png - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.org

Here's why it sounds romantic:

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you

If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.

If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.

If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it wrong.

It's a song that just feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.

What could be wrong with that?

Here's why it's actually really, really unromantic:

There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.

gray asphalt road towards treesPhoto by Nic Y-C on Unsplash

But there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much.

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?

Look, I get it. Breakups suck. There's no getting around that. But good God.

There's a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."

But that's pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...

God only knows what I'd be without you

...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"

That's not love. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a form of emotional abuse.

Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — one that, by definition, might one day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be done before you can do anything else.

No wonder she took that job in Seattle.

2. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars

Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.

Bruno Mars

Photo by Brothers Le/Flick

Here's why the song sounds romantic:

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town (ew).

Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.

Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they will think you're weird — but probably still make out with you.

In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America because of this song.

And I'm OK with that.

But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:

Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.

Including its attitudes about gender.

Things start to go south right from the very beginning:

Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby
I gotta tell you a little something about yourself

Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."

What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book about early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?

"Thanks for teaching me all about Martin Luther's bible!"

Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.

Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.

You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else

Oh. It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.

Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).

So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A good way to spend a three-day weekend.

And then later, of course, the narrator can't help himself:

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue.

He respects her so much, he's actually straight-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody's got a thing.

Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."

He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:

You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are

By this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.

I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not just any thing.That's ... something, right?

3. "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," by Bob Dylan

For as long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.

Bob Dylan

commons.wikimedia.org

Here's why it sounds romantic:

Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Even you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a-traveling on
But don't think twice, it's all right.

Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.

"Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.

Sure, it's about the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?

Here's why it's actually sooooo messed up:

Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.

In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It's your fault."

Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:

I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul

Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is take out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna go play guitar." And then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!

You could have done better, but I don't mind

Yes. You do mind! You mind! You wrote a song about it, you passive-aggressive prick.

You just kinda wasted my precious time

Ah yes. Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit.

Photo by Bill Bradford/Flickr.

The minute you start breaking it down, the message of "Don't Think Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt's wind chime store, which would have closed forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.

Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving as:

A child, I'm told

That's right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.

Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.

Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.

Which, I suppose, may be the point.

4. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver

Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?

John Denver

Photo by Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.

'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane

To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer camp. Not easy to do!

Oh babe, I hate to go

You see — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner just that much?

Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.

Why indeed?

Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all:

All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the song's main character is well, kind of a jerkweed.

And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates being away all that much:

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."

Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all evidence to the contrary.

And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are you? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad you were forced to choke down as you sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious adventure?

Photo by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons

He continues:

Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you

Ah cool. He'll think about her while strumming and making "my love is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.

Then he demands:

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me

After all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?

And here's the kicker:

When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.

Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family bank account, and just been a general screwup and disappointment.

But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.

I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.

5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge

When you look up "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.

Percy Sledge

Photo by Gene Pugh/Flickr.

Specifically, it plays you the very first line.

Here's why it sound very romantic:

When a man loves a woman

Sure, you can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious pain-belting:

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

Closer ... but still no.

WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!

Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!

It's an elemental lyric.

It's a heart-shattering lyric.

It's a lyric that demands you put your back into it.

It's perfection.

As long as you don't keep listening.

Here's why the song is actually pretty horrifying:

From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.

Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman?

He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be.

Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.

Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.

No! Jeez. No. A man can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! Once a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a man's mental health will deteriorate.

I gave you everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Baby, please don't treat me bad.

This is not what happens "when a man loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

And that's not healthy.

Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you.

(Side note: Lest it go unsaid, there is way more than one way for a man to love a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Maybe they sleep in separate bedrooms. Maybe they dress up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)

Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There's more than one way to skin a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. It doesn't matter if it's the right metaphor, as long as it's a metaphor.

Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a call.

Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.

6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," Heart

Honestly, Heart could sing a list of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bawl my eyes out in the arms of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.

This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's just that important.

I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.

Nancy and Ann Wilson playing at a charity concert

FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons

So much passion. So much pain. So much hair.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for one night of mind-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone — but never quite as compellingly ever again.

They sing:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while

I don't have to go on because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.

Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all:

The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. And it is. Because it's not an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.

It's a...

It's a...

Well. You know what it is:

For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:

I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it's right, is this love at first sight?

Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you gotta go with your gut.

I can respect that.

We made magic that night
He did everything right

Great! Seems like it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.

But then, without warning, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:

I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there"

I'm not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sex was first invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!

HELLO! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons

Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."

To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:

Then it happened one day
We came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise
When he saw his own eyes

There are two possibilities here.

One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:

Photo by eyedonation.org

Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.

I said, "Please, please understand

Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.

I'm in love with another man

Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but two lives.

And what he couldn't give me, oh, no
Was the one little thing that you can"

A HUMAN LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!

The best you can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .

But ... it's not cute. It's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).

And at the end of the day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night.

Which... is saying something.

But there is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.

A song that does everything right.

A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to last.

A song that can double as a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship.

And that song is...

"Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia

Here's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:

As catchy as "Candy Shop" is, as fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it can be to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.m., there's no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop

I'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop

Way to take one for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!

At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody's idea of a classic love song.

The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."

It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.

It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It's not a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.

It's just not.

But it should be.

So here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:

The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang it up with "Candy Shop."

But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female voice joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion call.

She sings:

I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have you spendin' all you got (come on)
Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa

It's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex on each other!

Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!

Photo by liz west/Flickr

Go, cunnilingus doves, go!

50 Cent himself may not be the world's greatest partner — for example, according to one of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.

But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:

You could have it your way, how do you want it?

Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat you like a chest full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me up!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.

Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.

And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?

It's whatever you're into

'Cause consent is sexy!

I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya

The narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly ... assertive about his desires.

But here's the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so.

The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are bright red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky club floor.

Grim23/Wikimedia Commons

Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer.

Girl what we do ...
And where we do ...
The things we do ...
Are just between me and you

No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will be private. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).

If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho

Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Candy Shop") minutes long.

She may have a high sex drive, but dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.

And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?

Thanks, Obamacare! Photo by Wonderlane/Flickr

It's like it's a race who could get undressed quicker

Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.

I touch the right spot at the right time

Of course, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, but if we're to take him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.

The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a good partner.

"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It's dirty. It's not your grandmother's love song.

But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

So seductive.


This article originally appeared on 12.21.22


Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared last year.

Tanya Sangani/Instagram (used with permission)

So many people aren't used to getting compliments.

Asking random strangers questions has become a fun way to utilize social media in the 21st century, with viral gems like "the corn kid" and couples sharing their love stories delighting audiences. But one woman in New York has a unique twist on the "asking strangers" trend that has people inspired to see the beauty in everyone.

Tanya Sangani, whose social media content focuses on kindness, asks random people in New York City one question: What's it like to be beautiful? That's it. So simple. But the way people respond to that question speaks volumes about how they're used to—or not used to—seeing themselves.

Watch these reactions:


@tanyasangani

Hope core in New York #god #hopecore #actsofkindness #humanity #actsofservice

First of all, "Oh bro, that's so wholesome," is the most wholesome response possible to that question, right? And clearly the guy at the end needed to hear the compliment embedded in the question.

See how everyone's first reaction to the question is to smile and then seem sort of humbly embarrassed? Being told they're beautiful as the baseline of the question takes them off guard. The question they're being asked to answer is "What's it like?" but the underlying message is an unequivocal "You are beautiful, no question about it."

That's the wisdom of the question itself. Sangani doesn't ask people, "Do you think you're beautiful?" or "Do you see your own beauty?" Their inherent beauty is not in question. It's a given. And just that simple wording disarms people in way that's truly beautiful to see.

"When I ask others, 'What’s it like to be beautiful?' my intention is not only to explore the meaning of beauty but to help each person recognize it within themselves," Sangani tells Upworthy. "I want them to see their own light—the radiance that starts from within and shines outward. Through their stories, I hope to remind all of us that beauty is not just seen, it is felt. It is within all of us."

In video after video, we see similar responses, with some people even getting teary as they try to figure out what to do with the question.

@tanyasangani

Hype up these amazing humans in the comment section ! #hopecore #actsofservice #actsofkindness #wordsofaffirmation #newyorkers

"I started asking people what it’s like to be beautiful because, growing up, I was bullied for not fitting into conventional standards of beauty," Sangani tells Upworthy. "It made me question: What does it really mean to be beautiful? Is beauty something we can see and measure, or does it come from a deeper place within us? This question stayed with me for years, shaping how I saw myself and the world. There were times when I felt I looked good on the outside, but something still felt missing—I didn’t truly feel beautiful. It was in those moments of disconnect that I came to understand: beauty isn’t just about appearance. True beauty is found in the essence of who we are and the energy we bring into the world."

People in the comments share what seeing these videos means to them and how simple acts of kindness like this can make a surprisingly bit impact.

"Normalize treating people with love and watching them glow."

"Omg the lady who cried. Why is it the most beautiful people and ypu just feel her beautiful aura too that just never know their true beauty."

"This was wonderful because those young men will remember that compliment when they are 80. Guys almost never get an honest compliment so it will hold with them."

"I love this. You be amazed how many people are shook with a question like this. It shows you how many people struggle with their self esteem. This was a sweet experiment."

"Girl you healed something inside each one of them that day. 🫶"

"Sometimes I really really love humans. Wow."

"If only we could all see the beauty in ourselves and others.... what a wonderful world this would be."

What's interesting is that the responses are so similar, whether it's a person considered "conventionally beautiful" or not. People often don't see their own beauty, even when others do, and

The word "beautiful" also means so many things—it's not just about meeting some arbitrary criteria for social beauty standards. It's not the same as "pretty" or "handsome." Beauty is something bigger, deeper, more than what someone looks like on the surface.

As one person said, "I was noticing how they actually look more beautiful after you asked them the question." So true.

As Sangani says, "Beauty is the kindness that lives in your heart, the part of you that touches others and never fades. It’s the warmth you give—the way you make people feel seen, loved, and valued. It’s found in the how you make others laugh, the comfort of being with those who matter most, and the light you carry that can brighten someone’s day, even without a word. Beauty is an energy, an aura, a presence that can touch lives even before a conversation begins."

Who would imagine that a question as simple as "What's it like to be beautiful?" could elicit such emotional responses, both from the people being asked and the people witnessing their responses?

"This made me cry. Love it. We need to compliment each other more!!!!"

"My eyes are getting watery, what’s happening 🥺 ugh, i love this!!!!!!!!"

"Crying for everyone of us that doesn’t know how to respond to this question. This touches my heart so deeply. ❤️"

"Thank you for making me cry and I mean that in the most awesome way. 🥰"

"This is the most positive life affirming act. It is so easy to tell someone they are beautiful and mean it. Why can’t we do this more?!?"

It's true. This is something any one of us can do at any time. Clearly, most of us could use the confidence boost, and who wouldn't want to see a stranger's face light up the way these folks' do?

Thank you, Tanya, for the inspiration. Let's all vow to pay people more compliments, however we choose to do it.

You can follow Tanya Sangani on Instagram and TikTok for more examples of humans being beautiful.


Lagotto romagnolo puppy.

Many a canine lover would agree that all dogs add value to our lives. But let’s face it, Ollie takes it to a whole new level. Adam Clark and Kim Mcguire of Blackpool, England, originally bought little Ollie as a surprise for their daughter Alice. However, it turns out they were in store for a lovely surprise as well.

Ollie is much more than an adorable face. His breed, the lagotto romagnolo, once used its keen sense of smell to hunt waterfowl in the wet marshlands of Italy, according to Dog Time. Here's an example of what a lagotto romagnolo looks like:

Cuteness at 110%.upload.wikimedia.org

Pretty much a teddy bear on four legs.

These pups are also natural diggers, and nowadays the only dogs bred specifically to hunt for truffles.

These talents came into play rather quickly when after only 10 minutes into his first family walk in the park, Ollie began to frantically dig into the soil.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Ollie dug up what appeared to be 15 sovereign coins, meaning pieces of gold that could date back as far as 1489.

puppy finds gold coins worth $8000

A gold sovereign.

www.publicdomainpictures.net

Clark took the coins to be examined by a reputable gold dealer, who not only deemed the coins legitimate, they valued them to be £5,943.96, equivalent to $7,564. It's not clear how much the family paid for Ollie, but it seems safe to say that they got their money back … and then some.

Though Ollie’s find is remarkable, Clark still finds his presence to be the ultimate gift. "The treasure is one thing, but the fact is, I've bought myself my very own gold hunter, and I cannot wait to take him out again," he told The U.S. Sun. "He is obviously a very special pup, and I'm thrilled with what he brings to the table — quite literally!"

And while lagotto romagnolos work really well for finding truffles (and potentially 19th century gold coins), they also make for great companions. Dog Time adds that they are easily trainable, good with children and their hypoallergenic coats keep allergies at bay, though they do require dedicated grooming. It's a pretty even trade-off for their undying affection and easy-going attitudes. Especially if they happen upon a small fortune!

There’s no real telling what other trinkets Ollie might dig up. But one thing’s for sure—he’s making his family very happy. And that is priceless.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Disability

From “Breaking Bad” to breaking barriers: RJ Mitte celebrates a theater redefining inclusion

The Prospector Theater has paid $26 million in wages to employees with disabilities—and sparked a movement.

Sarah Elizabeth Farrell

RJ Mitte at the Prospector's Gala, celebrating 10 years of changing the lives of those with disabilities.

RJ Mitte, best known for his portrayal of Walter White Jr. in Breaking Bad, has never shied away from using his platform to advocate for inclusion and opportunities for people with disabilities. Recently, he attended the Prospector Theater’s 10th anniversary gala in Ridgefield, Connecticut, where he celebrated the theater’s innovative approach to meaningful employment and shared how the arts can create transformative change.

The Prospector Theater celebrates 10 years of making a real difference. Sarah Elizabeth Farrell

The Prospector Theater, a nonprofit cinema, has a clear mission: to provide competitive and fulfilling jobs to people with disabilities. This "sparkly beacon of hope" stands as a testament to what’s possible when a community commits to inclusion. The theater was founded by Valerie Jensen, who drew inspiration from her sister, Hope, born with Down syndrome. Jensen’s determination to create opportunities for people with disabilities led to the transformation of a historic Ridgefield, Connecticut building into a state-of-the-art, inclusive workplace.


"Val really inspired me to continue to push forward and to continue my missions."

— RJ Mitte

A model for inclusion

In its first decade, the Prospector Theater has employed over 330 people, combining competitive wages with an empowering workplace culture. It’s not just a theater—it’s a symbol of what’s possible when businesses commit to inclusion.

Ryan Wenke, Valerie Jensen, and State Senator Julie Kushner pose for a photo.Sarah Elizabeth Farrell

“Everyone in this world deserves a job or a career that they feel passionate about, that they feel connected to, that they feel that they want to wake up and go to work in the morning,” Mitte said.

"When you enrich someone's life and you give that opportunity, it changes people—not just the individual that you're giving the job to, but everyone around that individual."

— RJ Mitte

He went on to note that while many jobs available to people with disabilities are isolated or low-visibility, the Prospector prioritizes customer-facing roles that showcase employees’ skills and talents.

"I think where the Prospector is today is 100 years past many organizations when it comes to this type of meaningful employment and business model."

— RJ Mitte

Representation in action

At the gala, attendees celebrated the theater’s success with a screening of The Wizard of Oz, a film that resonates deeply with themes of courage, inclusion, and hope. The timing felt especially poignant, as it coincided with the release of Wicked, featuring Marissa Bode as Nessa Rose—the first authentically disabled actress to play the role and a major step for authentic casting in a major production.

Prospect Tom Gollogly and RJ Mitte pose for a photo together.Sarah Elizabeth Farrell

For Mitte, the connection between the Prospector Theater’s work and milestones like Bode’s casting couldn’t be clearer. “This is the kind of progress we’ve been working toward for years,” he said. “Representation matters—not just in the stories we tell, but in who gets to tell them.”


Mitte reflected on how far inclusion in entertainment has come and the work still left to do."Now that we've seen people with disabilities in film and television not just play characters but succeed in playing these characters... We do have a long way to go... We may mess up along the way... but that's part of finding and growing, especially in the entertainment business."

The ripple effect

For Mitte, the gala was also a reminder of how businesses like the Prospector Theater can create ripple effects in their communities.

“For me, seeing that outpour of support and community—and the Ridgefield community specifically—was really, really nice to see, " Mitte said. "It doesn't happen everywhere.”

Mitte pointed to broader research showing that companies employing people with disabilities often see improved morale, greater innovation, and even higher profitability. The Prospector Theater, with its thriving business model and growing popcorn line, exemplifies how inclusion is both socially and economically beneficial.

How others can help

For businesses inspired by the Prospector model, Mitte offered practical advice. “Start small,” he said. “You don't have to employ 150, 250 people, but employing one—getting that one—because it's going to make a difference in your business.”

Prospector Production member Gabe Kavookjian holds a camera as he looks over his shoulder.Sarah Elizabeth Farrell

He emphasized that inclusion is an investment, not just in employees but in the future of the business itself. He added that the talent pool among people with disabilities is enormous, and creating an inclusive workplace allows businesses to access new perspectives that can lead to transformation.

"The Prospector Theater is a sparkly beacon of hope for the millions of Americans who can work, want to work, yet struggle to find meaningful employment."

— Valerie Jensen

A legacy in the making

Through his own foundation and advocacy work, Mitte continues to push for greater inclusion in all areas of life. But the Prospector Theater holds a special place in his heart.

“I wish programs like the Prospector existed when I was growing up,” he said. “What they've built here is truly amazing.”

Want to support the Prospector Theater? Visit prospectortheater.org to learn more, or treat yourself to their signature popcorn at prospectorpopcorn.org. As Mitte suggested, even purchasing their signature popcorn can contribute to making a difference.

Actor and author Henry WInkler.

Over the past few years, there has been a lot of talk about nepo babies, the children of the rich and famous who use their privilege to get elite positions in the entertainment world. As people become more conscious of the advantages of the rich and powerful, there has been a backlash against those who some feel haven’t earned their positions.

That’s why people applaud actor-author Henry Winkler for protecting his daughter, Zoe, from becoming a reality TV star. Winkler played one of the biggest roles in TV history, Arthur Fonzarelli, on “Happy Days” from 1974 to 1984. In 2018, he won his first Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for portraying acting teacher Gene Cousineau on “Barry.”

Even though Winkler has been in the spotlight for 6 decades, he didn’t want the same for his daughter. The two shared the story on a recent episode of Zoe’s podcast, “What in the Winkler?!” which she hosts with her mother, Stacie.



"Do you remember when I was in the running to be ‘The Bachelorette’?" Zoe asked her father. "Oh, my goodness, and we put a stop to that," he said. "But only for your protection."

Zoe was also almost a star of “Quater-Life Crisis,” a proposed VH1 show starring Zoe’s friends, Kim Kardashian and Sarah Howard. "There wasn't even that much reality TV out. It was just ‘The Real World,’" Zoe said. "And me, Kim, and Sarah Howard were asked to be on a show called ‘Quarter-Life Crisis.’"

However, her father quickly ended her dreams of being a reality star in a calm and collected way that only “The Fonz” could. Unbeknownst to the elder Winkler, VH1 producer Matt Hanna put together a sizzle reel of the 3 girls and flew to Los Angeles to meet with her when he ran into the “Happy Days” star in his home.

"I said, 'It is so lovely that you're here. I can suggest some really good restaurants. My daughter is not doing your show,’” Henry recalled. Reality TV, however, would work out for Kardashian; “she went on to become the most famous person in the world,” Zoe said.



Kardashian recently appeared on Zoe’s podcast, where the “lifer” friends discussed their friendship, parenting and how to keep up with their kids’ social media.

Henry knew that becoming a reality TV star would have distracted Zoe from achieving her life goal of being a teacher. "[Reality TV] was so not the right thing for you to do in your life. It would have just perverted your trajectory. I really believe that,” Henry said, and Zoe agreed. "I became a teacher, which was the best job and what I always truly wanted to do,” she said.



In addition to her work as an educator, Zoe founded This is About Humanity, a nonprofit that raises awareness for families and children who have been separated and reunited at the U.S.-Mexico border. The nonprofit also educates people on being allies and advocates and helps support those affected by separation.

Zoe married actor-writer Robert Reinis in 2009 and the couple has 3 sons.