America's biggest sports day of the year is right around the corner, and yes, I'm talking about the Super Bowl.
Unless you completely despise American football, there's a good chance you'll watch Sunday's matchup between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers. Over 114 million people in the U.S. tuned in to last year's Super Bowl, and it's likely that number will increase this year.
Since the big game is also a big social event, you may choose to watch it with others. Not that there's anything wrong with watching it alone, of course.
Some of us will even host a Super Bowl party. When you're a parent, you sometimes need an excuse for a me-time party. This is a great one.
Of course, you'll need the right crew. These are the five parents you absolutely should invite to your Super Bowl party.
1. The secondary entertainer.
This parent has zero interest in football, but instead of complaining about it, he or she will do something positive to keep the kids and other non-sports fans happy.
It could be magic tricks or funny stories. Maybe this amazing human will transform his or her face into an easel for the kids' amusement.
Or gather the kids into another room for lightsaber training so the other grown-ups can watch the game in peace.
Needless to say, the value of this is immeasurable. We salute you.
2. The master-chef-in-training.
Maybe it's the dad who spent the majority of the year perfecting his family's famous chili recipe — and his singular mission is to impress you and the other guests with it on Super Bowl Sunday. He takes cooking more seriously than he takes the game, and if the guests are happy with his creation, he wins.
Besides, he's a new dad now. He realizes that he has to step up his culinary game in order to effectively pass down the proper techniques to his kids for their future Super Bowl parties.
Just don't ask him for the recipe because he's not giving it up.
3. The no-leftovers family.
You made and bought a lot of food. So much food that it could easily feed an entire city block. Luckily, you're friends with the no-leftovers family. They come ready to eat and enjoy your food, which makes you really, really happy.
They'll probably spend more time at your dining room table crushing your grub than sitting in front of the TV. But hey, you worked hard on the spread and it's awesome to see people appreciating that. And you won't have to worry about clearing out any additional fridge space.
4. The dirt-fighting superhero.
Adults drinking beer, kids running wild, and messy food make for a bad combination if you're a fan of cleanliness.
This parent is so used to picking up after the kids that he or she can't turn the internal switch off — even at a party. They'll wash dishes, vacuum floors, heck, they may even offer to give your kids a bath before the night is over. Basically these parents are vigilantes protecting the sanctity of Neatness Nation — and their temporary headquarters is your house.
5. The good sport parent.
Sports can really make people act weird. When the game isn't going their way, they might get angry. Really angry.
Screaming and stomping out of the room may be cool at home, but when you're at a Super Bowl party, just as many people are interested in the game as the commercials and the halftime show.
That's why it's essential to have parents who are good sports. It's all about the big picture with them. They understand that the outcome of the game isn't nearly as important as having a good time. I mean, isn't the whole point of a party to have fun?
These parents absolutely get it.
The Super Bowl is a day when everyone can be happy, as long as you're surrounded by the right people.
Of course we want our team to win, too — but let's not focus on the insignificant stuff.