Shop
 Explore 

5 magical mind tricks to help you declutter your home

Can figuring out how to fold your underwear help you process your past and trust yourself more? According to Marie Kondo, the author of "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," it definitely can.

I bought this book at the airport. I was drawn to the words "life-changing magic." Turns out that was an accurate description and a good decision. This book was magic.

Sparkly star emphasis mine. Image via me.

What really what sets this book apart is the perspective it has on tidying. Tidying isn't really about knowing your drawer space, tidying is about knowing yourself.

And because of that, much to my surprise, this book taught me about joy.

Here are just five of the joy-inducing, perspective-shifting principles of Kondo's amazing book:

1. Don't blame yourself for not knowing how. Tidying is not a gift; it's a skill.

The author dispels a big myth right out of the gate. That myth? That you should just *know* how to tidy.

"The general assumption, in Japan at least, is that tidying doesn't need to be taught but rather is picked up naturally."

That's pretty crippling, huh? Either you have the gift or you don't. Sorry, messier folks, there's no hope for you! Wrong.

The fact is, you can't tidy if you never learned how. That's the title of one of the very first chapters! And learning to tidy doesn't involve magic, and it's not a gift that the Tidy Fairy bestows once in a generation.

You don't need magic to be tidy. Save it for flying, Mary! Image via "Mary Poppins."

Tidying is a simple physical act, like a dance move. It's something anyone can learn.

Here are the two tidying "dance moves:"

Decide whether or not to dispose of something.
Decide where to put what you keep.

And when you do the moves, you're doing it right. But there's one special sauce to add ... FEELINGS!

2. You can trust yourself and your emotions. They're actually very precise in their wisdom.

The secret sauce of the one-two step of tidying above is ... put a little feeling in it! (OK, put a lot of feeling in it! You deserve it.) When you're tidying, feel your clothes. Then feel your feelings. If you feel a jolt of joy, you're keepin' it.

If your tiny phone brings you joy, hold on to it. Image via "Saturday Night Live."

Your emotions are your divining rod, leading you toward goodness.

"You're not deciding what to throw out, you're deciding what to keep. In your house, but also in your mind and in your future."

And they're precise! According to Kondo, if you really listen to that jolt of joy, you'll wind up with the PERFECT amount of possessions. You cannot fail yourself.

3. No comparing.

This is your dance.

Rihanna gets it.

As Kondo says, "You are the standard." I love how straightforward this principle is. You can't possibly compare your tidying process to anyone else's. Those jolts of joy that are telling you to keep one item but not the other? Those are your jolts and yours alone. They're special!

4. Be prepared for completing, not for starting.

"Storage should reduce effort to put things away, not effort to get them out. "

You'll start that project anyway, but will you be ready for the NEXT start? This doesn't mean you should always be looking toward the future. Rather, it means that the hard part is moving on.

Create a world where you can put what you're doing away and move on to the next phase.

Next adventure, please. GIF via Henrik Nielsen/YouTube.

Finally, the most mind blowing thing ... why tidying in this way really matters:

5. It's not actually about your stuff. It's about YOU.

Kondo talks about sorting through clothes, books, and mementos in a very personal way.

"It is not our memories but the person we have become because of those past experiences that we should treasure."

This is where it gets very "your possessions have a lot to tell you," a la Beauty and the Beast.

GIF via "Beauty and the Beast."

Because you're not just processing your stuff, you're processing your past.

"By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past."

For example, that book you haven't read isn't a negative representation of your lack of stick-to-it-ness. If you haven't read that book, perhaps its purpose wasn't to be READ by you, but to teach you that you didn't really need to read it.

And by dropping unused things that don't bring you joy in your home, you drop things that don't bring you joy in your life! And along the way, you discover you might just be doing it — aka life — right.

Just imagine all your unused things saying, "You got this," as you toss them into the resale bag. That's right, even your possessions believe in you!

It's as easy as going through your stuff and noting what brings you joy.

And when something brings you joy, in your closet or in your life, KEEP IT. It's as simple as that.

Personally, I needed to learn that. And, not gonna lie, it's kinda working for me! I'm sharing this story in the hopes that you or someone you know gets a little jolt of joy knowing they're not the world's most messy person, but just on a journey of knowledge!

That's some magic.

Community

Facebook group brings people together IRL to make meaningful friendships

True

Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by 𝐍𝐘𝐂 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐒𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝® (@nycbrunchsquad)

Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

Keep ReadingShow less

friendship

Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

Keep ReadingShow less

money

Identity

One man turned nursing home design on its head when he created this stunning facility

"What if we design an environment that looks like outside?" he said. "What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building?

92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.

Every night around 5:30 p.m., she stood up and told the staff at her Ohio nursing home that she needed to leave. When they asked why, she said she needed to go home to take care of her mother. Her mom, of course, had long since passed away.

Behavior like Norma's is quite common for older folks suffering from Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. Walter, another man in the same assisted living facility, demanded breakfast from the staff every night around 7:30.

Keep ReadingShow less

Pop Culture

People are sharing the adult problems that 'nobody prepared you for' and they're so true

Here are 21 of the most relatable.

via PixaBay

Being an adult is tough.

Nothing can ever fully prepare you for being an adult. Once you leave childhood behind, the responsibilities, let-downs and setbacks come at you fast. It’s tiring and expensive, and there's no easy-to-follow roadmap for happiness and success.

A Reddit user named u/Frequent-Pilot5243 asked the online forum, “What’s an adult problem nobody prepared you for?” and there were a lot of profound answers that get to the heart of the disappointing side of being an adult.

One theme that ran through many responses is the feeling of being set adrift. When you’re a kid, the world is laid out as a series of accomplishments. You learn to walk, you figure out how to use the bathroom, you start school, you finish school, maybe you go to college, and so on.

Keep ReadingShow less

adulthood

Health

If you're grieving a loved one this holiday season, here's a gift you can give yourself

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.

Images courtesy of Kelly Cervantes

Kelly Cervantes wrote her way through grieving the loss of her daughter, Adelaide.

Kelly Cervantes begins the Introduction to her book with five words: "Grief sucks. It's also weird." It's a concise truth that anyone who has lost a loved one knows all too well.

Grief is a universal experience—none of us get through life without loss—but it's also unique to each person. Most of us are familiar with the popular "stages of grief" theory, but denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (along with guilt and a host of things) are less like sequential rungs on a ladder and more like pools you fall into at various times as you stumble your way through the grief process. Grief is not linear and it's not neat and tidy and it's not predictable.

Take it from someone who's been there. Kelly Cervantes lost her daughter, Adelaide, to epilepsy just shy of her 4th birthday. Using writing as a therapeutic tool to help her process Adelaide's medically complex life, death and everything that came after, Kelly created the book she wished she'd had as she was trying to navigate her own grieving process.

Keep ReadingShow less

grief

5 magical mind tricks to help you declutter your home

Can figuring out how to fold your underwear help you process your past and trust yourself more? According to Marie Kondo, the author of "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," it definitely can.

I bought this book at the airport. I was drawn to the words "life-changing magic." Turns out that was an accurate description and a good decision. This book was magic.

Here are just five of the joy-inducing, perspective-shifting principles of Kondo's amazing book:

1. Don't blame yourself for not knowing how. Tidying is not a gift; it's a skill.

Tidying is a simple physical act, like a dance move. It's something anyone can learn.

2. You can trust yourself and your emotions. They're actually very precise in their wisdom.

3. No comparing.

4. Be prepared for completing, not for starting.

Finally, the most mind blowing thing ... why tidying in this way really matters:

5. It's not actually about your stuff. It's about YOU.

And when something brings you joy, in your closet or in your life, KEEP IT. It's as simple as that.

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

"What if we design an environment that looks like outside?" he said. "What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building?

92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.

Confusion is common in Alzheimer's patients, but Makesh knew there had to be some way to minimize these conflicts.

Instead of rooms or units, each resident gets a "home" on a quiet little indoor street reminiscent of the neighborhoods many of them grew up in.

Instead of a boring panel ceiling, residents look up and see a digital sky, which grows dimmer late in the day to help keep their biological clocks in tune.

Throughout the day, nature sounds and fresh aromas like peppermint or citrus are piped in.

For Makesh, this isn't just about making patients comfortable, though. He wants to change how we think about the endgame of severe dementia.

Of course, we're a long way from a cure for Alzheimer's.

Here are 21 of the most relatable.

1. Lack of purpose

2. No bed time

3. Friendships

4. Bodily changes

5. People don't change

6. Money

7. Our parents age, too

8. Free time

9. No goals

10. Constant upkeep

11. Exhaustion

12. Loneliness

13. Dinner

14. Time changes

15. You're responsibile, even if you didn't mean it

16. Work is like high school

17. Nowhere to turn

18. The happiness question

19. Constant cleaning

20. Life costs money

21. Keeping above water

"You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can't."

1. You're going to have to get uncomfortable.

2. "Your black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn't want to appear to be that 'angry black man.'"

3. We are constantly monitoring our surroundings and adjusting our clothes, hair, speed, and speech to maintain white comfort.

4. "Your black friend wishes you'd play more than Beyoncé. There are more black performers than Beyoncé."

5. Speaking of which, performative blackness is really uncomfortable.

6. "Your black friend feels like a man without a country."

7. We would love it if we could stop talking about our anxiety and frustrations regarding racism. But right now, that's impossible.

The billionaire passed away on November 28 at the age of 99.

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.