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Gay men gave straight guys relationship advice and they'd be dumb not to follow it.

​Gay men have a unique view of the straight man’s world.

They know what makes a man attractive and they're also guys, too.

Gay men also tend to form deeper friendships with straight women, so they get the inside scoop on what they really want from relationships.

According to a recent question posted on Reddit, gay men and straight women often want the same thing: a guy who’s  emotionally available and reasonably well-dressed.

To help straight men with their relationships and life in-general, Reddit user OurOhnlyHope posed the question “Gay Men of Reddit, what advice do you have for Straight Men of Reddit?” on the online forum. Since it was first posted, the thread has received over 11,000 responses.

That's a lot of advice, so here's here’s 12 of our favorite gems.

  1. We can help you find Ms. Right.
As long as a gay friend isn't crushing on you, we're really good at helping you figure out if a girl is right for you or if you're just blinded by pussy. We have a special ability with hot women called, "You have no power here!" and we find out very quickly which ones become hell to deal with if they can't wrap you around their finger. Our opinion also isn't shaded by female politics as a female friend's can be.

I saw so many friends in college chase after girls that were completely wrong for them, just because of their looks. Gay men totally do the same thing when it comes to other men, so we can use your help as a filter as well.

(Reddit user BrobearBerbil)

2. It's important to stretch.

Flexibility and stretching is really important for good blood flow. Improving this part of your life will definitely improve your mental capacities and give you more energy. A study has shown that women find men who stretch more attractive.

The best way to stretch is to use one hand to grab the other wrist and raise your arms above your head and stretch to the sky. Hold the stretch for 10-15s. Feel free to add a little sway to either side. The stretch is best accomplished when wearing a loose-fitting shirt that exposes the midriff during the stretch. As a matter of fact, it's really best done shirtless and in a public setting, preferably ending the stretch with a few pelvic thrusts.

Just remember that if it doesn't work to get your blood flowing...well, it will work for me. ;)

(Reddit user coldize)

3. It's OK to express your emotions.

As a gay man, I just want to say that it's ok to express your emotions.

I cannot tell you how many times my brother's girlfriend would come up to me going, "Did I do something wrong!? He's so... quiet lately!" and me replying, "Nah, he had a bad day at work and is a bit stressed."

It's also ok to discuss your feelings and may even help your relationship with a significant other.

Too many men today put their feelings in an air tight container and end up losing part of themselves, yet feel it's the right course of action to preserve their machismo.

(Reddit user Cananbaum)

4. Flirt with no agenda.

Try to stop worrying too much when interacting with women you fancy; I've known a fair few of my straight friends incapable of flirting with women, whereas I've had to turn down the same women without even realising I was seeming flirtatious because I was just talking to them as I would anyone else without any agenda.

(Reddit user Birtyboy)

5. Not every gay guy is into you.

DON'T, and i can't put enough emphasis on this, DO NOT consider yourself so desirable that every gay guy will try to suck your dick every chance he gets.

You have no idea how many bloated, ugly as fuck straight guys reacted somewhere in the lines of 'Oh, you're queer? Thats okay, as long as you don't grope me.' when they figured out i was gay. Take a fucking honest look at yourself. You (probably) are very average looking, and implying that any gay guy wants to jump you is offensive as fuck.

Also, take care of your fingernails. Get a manicure once in a while. Hands are sexy.

(Reddit user Grailclipper)

6. Be confident, not creepy.

This thread needed a serious tag. I'll offer my best as I have lots of girlfriends that discuss this stuff with at times.

1. Dress nice. (You may think sweats are cool but ladies notice when you dress nice. Jeans, a nice pair of shoe, and a fitted tee or button up can really raise your stock with the ladies.)

2. Clean up. (Personal hygeine is key. Shower and deodorant. We guys sweat and can stink. A good cologne will make the ladies swoon. Also guys you can moisturize, lotion is fine. Lastly a nicely groomed beard is a good thing.)

3. Don't stereotype us. (Gay men come in all shapes and sizes and have a variety of interests.)

4. Be confident, not creepy.(I have seen so many good looking guys totally blow it when hitting on my friends.)

5. We can be friends. (I have lots of straight guy friends but some guys are so afraid to befriend me. Just cause a guy is gay doesn't mean he is interested. If I want to get laid I would sooner check Grindr than hit on a straight guy.)

Edit: Wow this blew up. More tips since you guys asked.

1. Dark jeans are great, please match your outfit, fitted clothing is wearing your size or if you can afford it tailored. You don't have to break the bank to dress nice discount stores like Marshall's, Ross and TJ Maxx offer nice clothes at a discount. Forever 21 and H&M offer trendy affordable clothing. I can name more expensive stores like Express, Banana Republic. Guys there are more than video games and porn on the Internet look at mens fashion advice or style tips. Lastly GQ, Esquire and Details offer great fashion tips.

2. A few people mentioned brush your teeth if you have to be reminded to do this you are beyond help. Cologne is tricky. We all have a natural scent so find one that mixes well with you. Go to Sephora or any major department store find an employee ask if they can help. Sometimes these people work on commission so they will be eager to help but don't let them force anything on you. I never buy the same bottle twice, but that's just me. There are so many. Gucci Guilty, Dior Homme, Kenneth Cole Black, Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue,Bleu De Chanel, YSL, way too many. Calvin Klein offers a good affordable variety. A few last tips. Don't use anything that smells like your uncle Bobby. Also don't spray the whole bottle, focus on key areas. Neck, chest, wrists.

3. Confident not creepy. Example my friends and I are dancing, you grinding up on one of them from behind is creepy. Don't be pushy be polite. Offer to buy her a drink. Ask her to dance. Guys sometimes a girl just wants to go out and chill so don't take it personal if she declines your advances. Other times she wants to get laid so spark up a conversation and see where that takes you.

(Reddit user Mattie4fun)

7. Don't be afraid to be feminine

Don't be so afraid to be feminine! You wanna wax your eyebrows, go ahead, you're not less of a man. Wanna dye your hair bright colors? Go ahead! Wanna paint your nails? Go ahead. Wanna wear a skirt? Go ahead! Your manliness is decided by you, not your lack of femininity.

(Reddit user ViolaExplosion)

8. Don't be afraid of beautiful women.

Here's a little semi-secret: You have nothing to lose by approaching a beautiful woman. We know this. We're gay. We have nothing invested in approaching a beautiful woman, chatting her up, and suddenly becoming best friends by the end of the night. And sometimes, beautiful women will invite us to touch their boobs, just to check 'em out.

We are not intimidated by beautiful women because we have nothing to lose. We have invested nothing in her until we start talking to her. By that calculation, there is absolutely no reason not to approach a beautiful woman at a bar, a party, or some other social gathering.

But you? You make a mistake. You mistakenly think that you have something to lose. Your attraction, your lust, your ... whatever you feel at that moment, you think that you already have something hanging out there to lose. Or you imagine that you will be turned down if you approach her, as if that is a loss of something.

You need to get over that mistake. Know that you have nothing invested before you approach a beautiful woman, so you have nothing to lose.

Don't be a douche. Don't think you have more to offer. Just realize that any person you meet at any moment in time presents the opportunity to achieve a relationship with an equal.

(Reddit user PDXHusker)

9. Size isn't that important.

I guess this is more... reassuring? But we hear a lot from your girlfriends. Like, a lot. If we're close, she'll tell us the whole story. And one thing I've learned from woman I know/hardly know/have literally met that night, it's that dick size doesn't matter. Most women and gays would much prefer a guy who knows what he's doing than someone who just sits on his high horse because his dick's above average. And yeah, there are size queens, but they aren't important.

(Reddit user I tried to be nice)

10. Just stop.

stop wearing white oakley sunglasses with coloured lenses. just stop.

(Reddit user [deleted])

11. We've seen your nudes.

If you send nudes to a female who has a gay best friend, he's seen your dick.

(Reddit user Thisguy2869)

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Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

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Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Education

Expert says there's only one laundry cycle you ever need, no matter what's being washed

Straight from Patric Richardson, the "Laundry Guy" himself.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

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Family

Supportive husband writes a fantastic 'love list' to his depressed wife

“He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is."

Image from Imgur.

Husband shares a list of love with his wife.

Imgur user "mollywho" felt her life was falling apart. Not only was she battling clinical depression, but she had her hands full.

"I've been juggling a LOT lately," she wrote on Imgur. "Trying to do well at work. Just got married. Couldn't afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends, yaddadyadda.”

She was also upset about how she treated her new husband.

"I've not been the easiest person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I've lost all hope and even taken my anger out on my husband."


When she returned home from a business trip in San Francisco, mentally exhausted, she collapsed on her bed and cried. Then she noticed some writing on the bedroom mirror. It was a list that read:

Reasons I love my wife

1. She is my best friend
2. She never quits on herself or me
3. She gives me time to work on my crazy projects
4. She makes me laugh, every day
5. She is gorgeous
6. She accepts the crazy person i am
7. She's the kindest person i know
8. She's got a beautiful singing voice

9. She's gone to a strip club with me
10. She has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity i know
11. She has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time
12. Without realizing it, she makes me want to do more for her than i have ever wanted to do for anyone
13. She's done an amazing job at advancing her career path
14. Small animals make her cry
15. She snorts when she laughs

love letters, support, marriage, mental illness

The list of love.

Image from Imgur.

This amazing show of support from her husband was exactly what she needed. "I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me," she wrote. "Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today…"

She ended her post with some powerful words about mental illness.

"I'm not saying mental illness is cured by nice words on a mirror. In fact, it takes professional care, love, empathy, sometimes even medication just to cope. Many people struggle with it mental illness - more than we probably even realize. And instead of showing them hate or anger when they act out. Show them kindness and remind them things can and WILL get better. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. If that person can't be you - see if you have any resources for therapy."


This article originally appeared on 12.10.15

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Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.

The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

 For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

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Family

Most pregnant women know what they need to bring to the hospital. Doris' list had something extra.

For Doris, the list was very different.

via GQ/YouTube

Doris Alikado talks about her personal experience of maternal health in Tanzania.

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Stella Artois


Bathrobe. Socks. Insurance card. Snacks.

Sound at all familiar? Maybe, maybe not.

These items would commonly be found on a checklist of things that expecting parents should bring to the hospital with them — in the U.S., anyway.

environment, health, health wellbeing

Doing the checklist.

Image created from Pixabay.

But what is that list like in other parts of the world?

For Doris, that list included water.

Doris, who lives Morogoro, Tanzania, had to bring her own water to the health center where she was giving birth in 2014. The water she brought was used to clean the nurse's hands, clean the delivery area, and wash the babies (she had twins!). Unfortunately, the water Doris brought ran out before she was able to wash herself or her clothes, so she had to wait 24 hours before cleaning herself.

parenting, parenting and children, Tanzania

Doris and family lives in Morogoro, Tanzania.

via GQ/YouTube

I'll let Doris tell the story herself:

Lack of access to clean water in Tanzania is a very big deal.

Everything turned out alright for Doris and her babies, but thousands of other women aren't as lucky. But there are ways to help: Organizations and individuals are pitching in to help build water taps, rainwater tanks, and latrines in Tanzanian hospitals, and they're making a huge difference.

"I want to express my gratitude to the health workers ... because they have a great sense of humor with the patients. But the problem is the availability of enough water." — Doris Alikado


This article originally appeared on 03.26.15

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9 astounding photos this mom took to keep herself calm while giving birth.

Birth is intense. It's also beautiful.

Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

New baby and a happy dad.


When San Francisco photographer Lisa Robinson was about to have her second child, she was both excited and nervous.

Sure, those are the feelings most moms-to-be experience before giving birth, but Lisa's nerves were tied to something different.

She and her husband already had a 9-year-old son but desperately wanted another baby. They spent years trying to get pregnant again, but after countless failed attempts and two miscarriages, they decided to stop trying.

Of course, that's when Lisa ended up becoming pregnant with her daughter, Anora. Since it was such a miraculous pregnancy, Lisa wanted to do something special to commemorate her daughter's birth.

So she turned to her craft — photography — as a way to both commemorate the special day, and keep herself calm and focused throughout the birthing process.

Normally, Lisa takes portraits and does wedding photography, so she knew the logistics of being her own birth photographer would be a somewhat precarious new adventure — to say the least.

pregnancy, hospital, giving birth, POV

She initially suggested the idea to her husband Alec as a joke.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"After some thought," she says, "I figured I would try it out and that it could capture some amazing memories for us and our daughter."

In the end, she says, Alec was supportive and thought it would be great if she could pull it off. Her doctors and nurses were all for Lisa taking pictures, too, especially because it really seemed to help her manage the pain and stress.

In the hospital, she realized it was a lot harder to hold her camera steady than she initially thought it would be.

tocodynamometer, labor, selfies

She had labor shakes but would periodically take pictures between contractions.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Eventually when it was time to push and I was able to take the photos as I was pushing, I focused on my daughter and my husband and not so much the camera," she says.

"I didn't know if I was in focus or capturing everything but it was amazing to do.”

The shots she ended up getting speak for themselves:

husbands and wives, intimacy, hospital rooms,

Lisa's husband Alec.

Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

obstetrician, doctors, hospital rooms

Hello Doc.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

nurse, strangers, medical care,

Warm and encouraging smiles from the nurse.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

newborn, insurance, patient rights

Hello, baby Anora!

Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

love, emotion, mental health, community

An overcome father.

Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

experiment, images, capture, document, record

Newborn Anora's first experience with breastfeeding.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Everybody was supportive and kind of surprised that I was able to capture things throughout. I even remember laughing along with them at one point as I was pushing," Lisa recalled.

In the end, Lisa was so glad she went through with her experiment. She got incredible pictures — and it actually did make her labor easier.

Would she recommend every mom-to-be document their birth in this way? Absolutely not. What works for one person may not work at all for another.

However, if you do have a hobby that relaxes you, figuring out how to incorporate it into one of the most stressful moments in your life is a pretty good way to keep yourself calm and focused.

Expecting and love the idea of documenting your own birthing process?

Take some advice from Lisa: "Don't put pressure on yourself to get 'the shot'" she says, "and enjoy the moment as much as you can.”

Lisa's mom took this last one.

grandma, hobby, birthing process

Mom and daughter earned the rest.

Photo via Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

 This article originally appeared on 06.30.16

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