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Joy

15 women reveal the 'underrated' reasons why they left their significant others

Modern society has created new reasons for people to break up.

woman, break ups, significant others
via Moose Photos/Pexels, Christina Morillo/Pexels, Teona Swift/Pexels

Why are women breaking up with men these days?

When people are ready to leave a relationship, many feel pressure to have a compelling reason. There are reasons that no one will disagree with, such as a partner's abuse, infidelity, or trouble getting along with family.

But what if you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore, or don’t think they appreciate all you have to offer? Those can be perfectly fine reasons, too. It's totally fine to break up with someone over reasons that some may find trivial.

It’s your life; you can’t live it with your chosen people.

A Reddit user named Grand_Gate_8836 asked the AskWomen forum, “What is a very underrated reason for breaking up with your significant other?” and many women shared that they broke up with their partners because they just weren’t feeling the relationship. Others brought up reasons that people may not have had in the past, such as pornography addiction, immaturity and spending too much time playing video games.


On a deeper level, the discussion made many women who feel insecure about their reasons for leaving someone feel a lot better about following their hearts.

Here are 15 of the best “underrated” reasons for breaking up with one’s significant other.

1. Mental health

"I think bad mental health can be a big reason for splitting from someone. Nobody tells you how lonely it can get to be with someone who has mental health issues. It can take years for you to understand them and then eventually realize that you can’t help them until they choose to help themselves. This is due to severe unawareness around mental health issues I feel." — Grand_Gate8836

2. They don't find you attractive

"At the risk of sounding petty: they don't 100% love the way you look, even if they try to spin it in a positive way. I mean statements like 'she's not beautiful but I love her personality and sense of humor"'or 'she's a 5 on a good day but I guess so am I' or 'she's not what I'd consider my type but there's something about her.' I appreciate honesty as much as one can, but in my opinion, this is just depressing. Beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms. How can someone not find it in a person they claim to love? To me it basically means your SO is settling for you and will be forever comparing you to some kind of ideal you don't match." — JankyRobot42069

3. Not the outdoorsy-type

"I broke up with someone who had very conflicting interests and hobbies to mine and assumed I would just be on board with taking them up with him. I like the outdoors. I do not like devoting every weekend to hiking." — Justwannaread3

"Imo, this is so underrated. 'I enjoy X, but I do not enjoy devoting all of my free time to X.' is absolutely valid in and of itself. And leaving someone who doesn't grasp that is so much better for mental health in the long run." — DragonFlySunrise

4. Different goals

"You know, one thing that doesn't get talked about enough is having different life goals and values as a reason to break up with someone. It's not just about whether you both like the same movies or enjoy the same hobbies. It's about where you see yourself going in life and what you believe in. Imagine you're super into traveling the world and experiencing new cultures, but your partner is more about settling down in one place and building a stable career. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, those differences can really start to wear on the relationship. You might find yourself feeling like you're not on the same page about the important stuff, like where you want to live or what you want to prioritize in life. So yeah, having different life goals and values might not be the most obvious reason to break up, but it can definitely be a deal-breaker if you're not aligned in those areas." — Good1Mufferaw

"It never ceases to amaze me that people ignore compatibility issues. It's the most important feature in a relationship. And marriages that continue regardless of how whack the lack of compatibility is." — Savagefluerelis23

5. You're not happy

"They're just not making you happy. You're just not happy with them, and you deep down feel you could be happier elsewhere either alone or with someone else. They're a good, kind person, a responsible adult, etc, but they're not "it" for you. This is often considered a trivial reason to end a relationship or marriage but it's such a BIG DEAL. You should want to be happy and should want them to be happy too! You know when you're not happy. This idea that you should only leave a partnership or friendship because of something deemed "more serious" doesn't feel right to me. One of the hardest things is walking away from someone who is not abusing you, is really good on paper but it just NOT doing it for you because society will always shame people and especially women for leaving because of unhappiness. That inkling feeling underneath of 'they might not be it for me,' we are taught to just not listen to ourselves." — The_Philosophied

6. Bros came first

"He prioritized his friends over me. I think prioritizing friends and family are important, but it got to a point where I was miserable. We were both mid-thirties, and he wanted to go to parties and bars all the time to see his friends. We never had quality time together. It reached its breaking point when my aunt suffered cardiac arrest and was airlifted from 700km away to the hospital in my city. Instead of coming to the hospital with me, or even emotionally supporting me when I went to be with her, he went to the bar and got drunk. I didn't even get a text or call for 24 hrs he just disappeared. When I got upset, he said, 'Seeing Dave is more important, he's my friend' I broke up with him the next day. My aunt died a few hours later." — MeatCat88

7. Pornography

"Porn addiction. Society has brainwashed people into thinking this is normal behavior." — 1989sBiggestFan13

"This is what killed my relationship with my ex-fiance after 7 years. I genuinely thought I was asexual -- nope. He just watched so much, such intense porn (even when I was putting out) that I stopped having any sexual interest at all." — Arwynn

8. Conspiracy theories

"There wasn’t an insane conspiracy theory this dude didn’t believe. ...The first one he told me: on our second date was around the time of the Miami Mall incident. He truly believed 8ft tall shadow aliens invaded the Miami Mall and the government was keeping hush about it. His further conspiracy was that the government was overrun by 'replaced people' basically aliens pretending to be people." — SinfullySInless

9. Video games

"Video games are far more important than spending time with their partner. I'm a very simple person. I don't care about gifts or having money spent on me. Let's go for a walk in the park, just spend some time with me. My ex-husband would find any excuse to not spend time with me. The most common was 'gas costs money, I'd rather hang out at home.' His idea of 'hanging out' was him playing video games with his online friends while I sat quietly watching TV, but with the volume super low so his friends wouldn't be 'distracted.' God forbid I laughed at all, he'd get so mad at me for it." — NatAttack89

10. Peter Pan syndrome

"Peter Pan syndrome. When my 60-year-old boyfriend told me (53F) the reason he had not 1 dollar saved for his retirement is because he is a 'risk taker' and I’m not, I realized I’d have to support him for the rest of his life while he looked down on me for it and walked away." — Slosee

11. Domestic burden imbalance

"Incompatible cleaning habits. Seems like an easy thing to remedy but in reality different standards of cleanliness will create an uneven burden of domestic labor for the partner with higher standards, or create a living environment in which that partner is uncomfortable, or create a situation where the partner with lower standards feels constantly berated/nagged to do something they don’t see as benefitting them in any way. I know multiple couples who broke up at or just before the 'moving in' stage for this reason, and I think it’s a super valid way to decide you’re not compatible in a long-term domestic relationship." — Angstyaspen

12. Stuck in a rut

"Disinterest in trying or experiencing new things and only sticking with what they know. If you’re someone who enjoys trying new restaurants, going to events, exploring new cultural experiences, etc and your partner is content to sit at home in their comfort zone, it eventually gets frustrating. I refused to date someone because of this mentality. If it wasn’t happening within a few miles of his house, he wasn’t terribly excited about doing it. Also, men who think basketball or gym shorts are acceptable casual attire." — Edjennersmilkmaid

13. Fell out of love

"Because you don’t love them anymore. I say this is an underrated reason because so many people think they need a catalyst event in order to justify breaking up. But if you’re not happy and the relationship isn’t fulfilling, that’s a solid enough reason." — Lydviciousss

14. Immaturity

"It felt like parenting. Like I was hanging out with a kid all the time. I was doing all the work, all the driving, all the planning. Like I was managing a child. 'This ain’t my job.'" — K19081985

15. Geographically undesirable

"Not agreeing on where you want to live. I've seen people start a relationship while one or both was living abroad, thinking 'We'll figure it out.' But actually building a life and having kids somewhere far from your own roots, or just in a place you don't really like, is a lot." — Princess Sophia Black

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Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandmaBaby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couchA stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundryA stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

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Humor

Comedian's hilarious raps get nursing home residents grooving anyway they can

Pauline Schantzer (aka Polly Wolly) created "The Finger Dance" so those in wheelchairs can groove.

therealpollywolly/Instagram

Comedian Polly Wolly raps and dances with nursing home residents.

You're never too old to sing or dance. And Los Angeles-based comedianomedian Pauline Schantzer (@therealpollywolly) is making it her mission to keep residents in nursing homes doing both. The actress, writer and rapper (aka Polly Wolly) has been bringing her beats, songs and dance moves to nursing and assisted living homes, inspiring them to live it up and find joy.

"I started performing in nursing homes in November 2023," Polly tells Upworthy.

She got connected with her first nursing home via her friend, Rena Hirsch, who was the director of the nursing home that first booked Polly. "At first I didn't plan to pursue [work] in nursing homes. But I grew up going to see my grandma in the nursing home, and my mom Judy who is my comedic inspiration also lives in an assisted living home," she shares. "She has minor dementia, so it means a lot to me to give people laughter. My mom used to be full of laughs and jokes, and she's lost that. So it's been really tough on me to experience that. And humor is how I've dealt with it."

Understanding her audience, Polly recently created a song called "The Finger Dance" that allows everyone to get dancing, including those in wheel chairs. In the video, Polly raps and sings as she interacts with the residents. "In the wheelchair, let's groove! What's that button do? Oh ooh. It's electric, vroom vroom. Can't get up? That's fine! Put your fingers up real high, aye!" she raps and sings in the video.

She continues, "Move it from side to side. Yeah girl, looking real fly! Aye! Shake them fingers, don't be shy. You got arthritis? Come on just try!" Polly pans the camera to the small crowd, who have their fingers up and are grooving along with her.

The sweet video got tons of supportive comments from viewers. "Ur in those homes everyday! I love it! Respect what you do so much, laughter is the best medicine," one wrote. Another added, "👏👏 I love how you bring a moment of happiness and joy to our seniors !! ♥️" And another viewer shared, "You've got me over here doing the finger dance at my desk while at work. Lol."

Polly adds, "I wrote this song, 'The Finger Dance' because my mom always did this dance [with her fingers]. She was so cute, she was overweight and her cheeks would look all chubby and she'd point her fingers up in the air. It was inspired by her."

In another post, Polly performed another original song in another assisted living home, encouraging everyone to dance through their aches and pains with more funny lyrics. "You got aches, you got pains, da da da da da da. So groove with your cane, da da da da da da da." And viewers noted that her performance was "100x better than Coachella" and "Next stop…Coachella."

Another bop she created is called "Shake It Doll", and it's a banger that has consistently put smiles on faces when she performs it. During a recent show, she told the crowd, "Let's get wild up in here, you know? We only live once. Let's do it!" she said as the song started. "Shake it doll, shake it at the mall! Shake it doll in the bathroom stall!" The beat is irresistible, and in the video Polly dances alongside an enthusiastic woman.

"It makes me really happy to see the residents really enjoy it. A lot of times they will first refuse to dance and enjoy. But when I get a man or woman who doesn't [initially] want to dance to suddenly get up and move, it means so much to me," says Polly.

She has big plans for the future and reaching more residents in nursing and assisted living homes. "I would love to do a nursing home tour around the United States. I have a lot of big visions for it," she says. "It really warms my heart a lot seeing how many people around the world tell me how much I'm making their day and giving joy to them. It means so much to me to see people have laughter. That's what life's about."

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Kids

Baby born with incredibly luscious locks looks like an adorable mini-Maui from 'Moana'

"The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is 'Oh my God, his hair!'"

@jchelleistryingherbest/TikTok, Wikifandom

Maybe he's born with it…

Some babies are born ready to rock out, and little Lucio is one of them.

Lucio first took the internet by storm earlier this month, when his mom, Naya “J’chelle” Perry, posted a TikTok showing off his incredible “Farrah Fawcett” like locks.

As Perry shared in the clip, Lucio caused the medical staff to do a double take in the operating room.

“The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is ‘Oh my God, his hair!’” she said, as a picture of three-hours-old Lucio with a full head of shiny, black-brown hair popped up on screen. She dubbed this his “placenta perm.”

As Lucio grew, so did his mane. By three months, he had a halo of curls. Cut to 18 months old, and Lucio looks like the spitting image of Maui from Moana.

@jchellestryingherbest When your baby has more hair than you 😭 #momsoftiktok #boymom #curlyhaircheck ♬ Idyllic jazz bossa nova with piano and guitar(1298871) - TAKANORI ONDA

Unsurprisingly, some folks have been hit with a twinge of (lighthearted) jealousy of Lucio’s luscious locks. As one person joked, “Baby got an entire roller set and I’m sitting here bald. You win, kid.”

Another business-minded viewer saw a lucrative opportunity, and wrote. “Get that baby a shampoo contract.” Seriously, couldn’t you just see him in a commercial with a fan blowing that mane, Beyoncé style?

The term “placenta perm” is an informal term used to describe the curly or wavy hair pattern that some babies are born with due to the presence of lanugo—a fine, soft hair that covers the developing fetus during the second trimester of pregnancy to keep it warm.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Lanugo typically falls off in the last eight weeks of pregnancy, mixing in with amniotic fluid and becoming part of its first food, and, therefore, shall be part of its first poop after birth (the more you know). However, some babies, like Lucio, don’t lose all of theirs. Experts aren’t exactly sure why this happens, though it’s generally believed that genetics, prenatal development, and hormone levels play the biggest roles.

In an interview with Newsweek, Perry further shared that while no signs of Kciso hair popped up during any ultrasounds, there were other “old wives’ tale” omen, including an itchy stomach and some acid reflux. Hence why someone quipped, "I know that heartburn was killing you" in the comments.

Perry admitted that Lucio’s unique character is of being “super curly in the front and straighter in the back”—which makes sense, as most curly-haired folks have different levels of curliness on their noggin—makes things a little harder to style, but luckily grandma is mostly in charge of that.


@jchellestryingherbest He thinks hiding behind his hair gives him an excuse to act like he don’t hear me 🙄 #momsoftiktok #boymom #toddlermom ♬ Suavemente - Elvis Crespo

"My mom is the master braider for him," Perry said. "He will get fussy if I try to touch his hair, but will sit just perfectly for grandma!

Regardless, that iconic look is worth all the fuss in the world.

And if you’re wondering. No, there are zero plans to cut Lucio’s hair. Until he asks for it, that is.

Sometimes what makes us unique takes time to discover and cultivate. And other times, we are simply born with it.

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Pop Culture

Woman gives outrageous performance of Blink-182 karaoke with no idea Tom DeLonge is watching

He looked slightly bewildered.

via Journalist 2nd Class Danny Lester/Wikimedia Commons

Blink-182 on a nuclear submarine.

Monica Gill, dressed in a long shirt with a bikini printed on it, took the mic at a bar in Palm Springs, California, recently and gave a raucous performance of “All the Small Things” by pop punk legends, Blink-182. During the performance shae gave an exaggerated “emo scream” for one of the song’s memorable lines, line “work sucks, I know.” It was all fun until after her performance, a man filming her told Gill and her friends that Blink-182 singer Tom DeLonge, who co-wrote the track with bassist Mark Hoppus, was watching the entire performance.

In the video taken by a man named Kyle, DeLonge experiences a range of emotions during the song, from some slight head nods to amusement to complete bewilderment. He had to have been wondering if she knew that he was in the audience and was mocking the song or just having fun, completely unaware he was watching. “She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends, and they lost their minds,” Kyle captioned his video.

@websitelandlord

She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends and they lost their minds. #blink182 #tomdelonge #coachella @Tom DeLonge @blink-182

Kyle says that while he was recording the performance, it was clear she didn’t know DeLonge was in the bar watching her. “I noticed that she started singing in a big way too, but I saw that her eyes were looking at her friends the whole time,” he told Today.com. “I had a feeling she didn’t know, because none of her friends were looking over at Tom DeLonge or anything. So I was like, I think I should probably tell them.”

Kyle later uploaded another video of the performance where Monica gives the “Work sucks!” line all she has.

@websitelandlord

Replying to @Amy Lynn I wish I had more. This is the only other clip I got. #coachella #blink182 #Coachella2025 @Tom DeLonge

After the song, Gill and her friends talked to DeLonge, whose body language seemed a little standoffish. “I kind of blacked out a little bit because I was so starstruck,” Gill says. “I just remember saying to him, ‘I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t have made a mockery out of your song.”

TikTok · Kyle | Website Landlord

tom delonge, blink 182, palm springs california, karaoke, monica gill, barsTikTok · Kyle | Website Landlordwww.tiktok.com

3912 likes, 69 comments. “Replying to @GinaLynn480 this is a photo of her running over to @Tom DeLonge after I told them he was sitting right there.”

Blink-182 has had a resurgence over the past few years. In 2015, DeLonge left the band to focus on his work with UFOS and was replaced by Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio. After nearly 8 years apart, DeLong re-joined Blink and the band released the number one album One More Time… and its follow-up, a deluxe edition, One More Time… Part-2. This summer, the band plans to embark on another U.S. tour.

Here, Hoppus shares how he and DeLonge reconnected after his cancer diagnosis and got the band’s classic line-up back together.

@z100newyork

Have you experienced this kind of relationship with an old friend? ❤️‍🩹 #MarkHoppusOnElvis #MBInterviewLounge Mark Hoppus delves into his complex relationship with Blink-182 bandmate Tom DeLonge, and how, ultimately, his cancer diagnosis allowed them to reconnect. @iHeartRadio @Mark

DeLonge has made headlines over the last few years not for his bands Blink-182 and Angels & Airwaves, but for his work on UFOs. In 2015, he founded the To The Stars Academy of Arts & Sciences to explore the phenomenon. His efforts contributed to the release of declassified Navy videos of unidentified objects. During a 2023 Congressional hearing on UFOs, DeLonge and his organization were commended for their work on bringing attention to the controversial subject.

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