Two white girls were given black dolls and reacted oppositely. Here's why.

​​You may have seen a video going around Facebook last week that was pretty much the worst.

In the video, two adorable, young white kids open their Christmas presents from their aunt and what sounds like their uncle. The gifts are black baby dolls. The woman recording, presumably their mom, asks the girls if they like the dolls, and the older daughter offers a half smile and mutters, "Uh huh." 

Someone in the background laughs, and the mom then asks the younger daughter if she likes the doll. The young girl begins to cry and shakes her head no — as the background laughter continues and gets louder. 


"What's wrong?!" the mom asks in a high-pitched voice, and the younger daughter responds by throwing the doll, still in its box, while wailing. 

That awful 41 seconds reminded me of a rather famous Denis Leary quote.

As terrible as that video — and what those young girls are being taught — is, something good came from it in the form of an even shorter video with a very powerful message that quickly went viral. It came from a mom who knows exactly what Denis Leary meant, a mom who's raising actively anti-racist kids. 

Katie Nachman, who's almost finished with her master's in social work and who is a mom of three (ages 4, 7, and 8), saw the video and was bothered because it's exactly the opposite of the way she parents her kids.

Photo provided by Katie Nachman, used with permission.

She was so bothered, in fact, that she went upstairs immediately after watching it and asked her girls, who'd already gotten into bed and were getting ready to go to sleep, a few questions about the black dolls they received for Christmas.

"I was pretty shocked and appalled because it seemed very clear to me that the parents and the aunt and possibly uncle were playing some sick, twisted joke on these kids, and the fact that the joke was racially based was beyond my comprehension," she said in a phone interview. "I thought, you know, I’m horrified enough about it as a white woman. How would a person of color feel, watching this video and seeing a girl throw a baby doll down on the floor in disgust?"

Here's the video and the commentary Katie uploaded to Facebook.

(Be sure to expand the post to read her full message. It's important.)

​As a parent, Katie is doing everything she can to raise kids who will grow into adults who are not only loving and accepting of everyone, but who take an active role in fighting racism — even though it doesn't directly affect them.

Katie buys her kids dolls of all colors and ethnicities. She knows that's not going to end racism; she's not naive, and besides, people reminder her all the time that it won't. But having diverse dolls and toys for her kids is just a small part of what she's doing.

Photo via iStock.

"I feel like any small step in the direction toward racial justice is worthwhile," she told Upworthy. "Dolls represent people, and kids use dolls as learning tools ... so if they have dolls who are different races and they're treating them like their friends or their babies — taking care of them and playing with them, loving them — I think it sets a precedent for how they're going to treat people of other races throughout their lives." 

She talks to her kids often and honestly. One day, that talk centered around protesters who were marching because a young black boy was killed by police in her town. Her then-6-year-old son thought it was a parade, and she explained in child-appropriate terms what a protest was, why people were having one, and how racial bias disproportionately affects people of color. She talks about slavery, white privilege, and what her kids can do to make the world a better place. 

She never expected her video to go viral — who does?! But Katie did want to share a message with her circle of friends when she uploaded it. (It's a huge bonus that the message is being spread far and wide.)

Katie's incredibly adorable kids! Photo provided by her, used with permission.

She said that so many good, kind white parents teach their kids to love everyone and that everyone is beautiful and valuable, but "what I really wanted people to know is that everyone is not equal in this country. Just because it's 2016 does not mean racism does not exist."

"Being colorblind is not OK. You're your kids' first teacher. You need to set the example for them."

"Just because slavery was a long time ago and the civil rights movement was a long time ago doesn't mean people have equal access to opportunity in this country. I wanted people to know that being colorblind is not OK and that you really need to be active in teaching your kids. You're their first teacher, you're the person they look up to the most. You need to set the example for them." 

While the adults in the original video may have been blatantly awful, a lot of good white parents try to do something they feel is better — but it turns out it's still very damaging.

The outdated notion of colorblindness centers around the idea that it's best to treat people as equals and to totally ignore difference in race and ethnicity. It may feel good for white folks to subscribe to that belief, but in reality, anyone who's not visually impaired does see color, kids included. 

And bias — whether implicit or explicit — happens as a result of the combination of our seeing color and the subtle message we absorb from media and the people around us. When those of us who have the power to do something about racism and racial bias pretend it doesn't exist, we're only allowing it to continue and even worsen. 

When parents raise their kids to be colorblind, they're well-intentioned and they're certainly not racist. I get it. I used to consider myself colorblind, and I may have done the same if I hadn't adopted two children of color and gotten an eye-opening front-row seat to incredible amount of bias and racism people of color face every single day. 

But it turns out that subscribing to and teaching the colorblind belief only perpetuates the problems those very same parents want to end. And when you know better, you do better. We know better now. We have to do better, and we can follow Katie's lead and make the world a better place for all of our kids.

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We're redefining what normal means in these uncertain times, and although this is different for all of us, love continues to transform us for the better.

Love is what united Marie-Claire and David Archbold, who met while taking a photography class. "We went into the darkroom to see what developed," they joke—and after a decade of marriage, they know firsthand the deep commitment and connection romantic love requires.

All photos courtesy of Marie-Claire and David Archbold

However, their relationship became even sweeter when they adopted James: a little boy with a huge heart.

In the United States alone, there are roughly 122,000 children awaiting adoption according to the latest report from the U.S Department of Health and Human Services. While the goal is always for a child to be parented by and stay with their biological family, that is not always a possibility. This is where adoption offers hope—not only does it create new families, it gives birth parents an avenue through which to see their child flourish when they are not able to parent. For the right families, it's a beautiful thing.

The Archbolds knew early on that adoption was an option for them. David has three daughters from a previous marriage, but knowing their family was not yet complete, the couple embarked on a two-year journey to find their match. When the adoption agency called and told them about James, they were elated. From the moment they met him, the Archbolds knew he was meant to be part of their family. David locked eyes with the brown-eyed baby and they stared at each other in quiet wonder for such a long time that the whole room fell silent. "He still looks at me like that," said David.

The connection was mutual and instantaneous—love at first sight. The Archbolds knew that James was meant to be a part of their family. However, they faced significant challenges requiring an even deeper level of commitment due to James' medical condition.

James was born with congenital hyperinsulinism, a rare condition that causes his body to overproduce insulin, and within 2 months of his birth, he had to have surgery to remove 90% of his pancreas. There was a steep learning curve for the Archbolds, but they were already in love, and knew they were committed to the ongoing care that'd be required of bringing James into their lives. After lots of research and encouragement from James' medical team, they finally brought their son home.

Today, three-year-old James is thriving, filled with infectious joy that bubbles over and touches every person who comes in contact with him. "Part of love is when people recognize that they need to be with each other," said his adoptive grandfather. And because the Archbolds opted for an open adoption, there are even more people to love and support James as he grows.

This sweet story is brought to you by Sumo Citrus®. This oversized mandarin is celebrated for its incredible taste and distinct looks. Sumo Citrus is super-sweet, enormous, easy-to-peel, seedless, and juicy without the mess. Fans of the fruit are obsessive, stocking up from January to April when Sumo Citrus is in stores. To learn more, visit sumocitrus.com and @sumocitrus.

Terence Power / TikTok

A video of a busker in Dublin, Ireland singing "You've Got a Friend in Me" to a young boy with autism is going viral because it's just so darn adorable. The video was filmed over a year ago by Terence Power, the co-host of the popular "Talking Bollox Podcast."

It was filmed before face masks were required, so you can see the boy's beautiful reaction to the song.

Power uploaded it to TikTok because he had just joined the platform and had no idea the number of lives it would touch. "The support on it is unbelievable. I posted it on my Instagram a while back and on Facebook and the support then was amazing," he told Dublin Live.

"But I recently made TikTok and said I'd share it on that and I'm so glad I did now!" he continued.

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True

We're redefining what normal means in these uncertain times, and although this is different for all of us, love continues to transform us for the better.

Love is what united Marie-Claire and David Archbold, who met while taking a photography class. "We went into the darkroom to see what developed," they joke—and after a decade of marriage, they know firsthand the deep commitment and connection romantic love requires.

All photos courtesy of Marie-Claire and David Archbold

However, their relationship became even sweeter when they adopted James: a little boy with a huge heart.

In the United States alone, there are roughly 122,000 children awaiting adoption according to the latest report from the U.S Department of Health and Human Services. While the goal is always for a child to be parented by and stay with their biological family, that is not always a possibility. This is where adoption offers hope—not only does it create new families, it gives birth parents an avenue through which to see their child flourish when they are not able to parent. For the right families, it's a beautiful thing.

The Archbolds knew early on that adoption was an option for them. David has three daughters from a previous marriage, but knowing their family was not yet complete, the couple embarked on a two-year journey to find their match. When the adoption agency called and told them about James, they were elated. From the moment they met him, the Archbolds knew he was meant to be part of their family. David locked eyes with the brown-eyed baby and they stared at each other in quiet wonder for such a long time that the whole room fell silent. "He still looks at me like that," said David.

The connection was mutual and instantaneous—love at first sight. The Archbolds knew that James was meant to be a part of their family. However, they faced significant challenges requiring an even deeper level of commitment due to James' medical condition.

James was born with congenital hyperinsulinism, a rare condition that causes his body to overproduce insulin, and within 2 months of his birth, he had to have surgery to remove 90% of his pancreas. There was a steep learning curve for the Archbolds, but they were already in love, and knew they were committed to the ongoing care that'd be required of bringing James into their lives. After lots of research and encouragement from James' medical team, they finally brought their son home.

Today, three-year-old James is thriving, filled with infectious joy that bubbles over and touches every person who comes in contact with him. "Part of love is when people recognize that they need to be with each other," said his adoptive grandfather. And because the Archbolds opted for an open adoption, there are even more people to love and support James as he grows.

This sweet story is brought to you by Sumo Citrus®. This oversized mandarin is celebrated for its incredible taste and distinct looks. Sumo Citrus is super-sweet, enormous, easy-to-peel, seedless, and juicy without the mess. Fans of the fruit are obsessive, stocking up from January to April when Sumo Citrus is in stores. To learn more, visit sumocitrus.com and @sumocitrus.

via Pexels and @drjoekort / TikTok

Gay sex and relationships therapist Dr. Joe Kort is causing a stir on TikTok where he explains why straight men who have sex with men can still be considered straight. If a man has sex with a man doesn't it ultimately make him gay or bisexual?

According to Kort, there can be a big chasm between our sexual and romantic orientations.

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via Ken Lund / Flickr

The dark mountains that overlook Provo, Utah were illuminated by a beautiful rainbow-colored "Y" on Thursday night just before 8 pm. The 380-foot-tall "Y" overlooks the campus of Brigham Young University, a private college owned by the Utah-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), commonly known as Mormons.

The display was planned by a group of around 40 LGBT students to mark the one-year anniversary of the university sending out a letter clarifying its stance on homosexual behavior.

"One change to the Honor Code language that has raised questions was the removal of a section on 'Homosexual Behavior.' The moral standards of the Church did not change with the recent release of the General Handbook or the updated Honor Code, " the school's statement read.

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