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This educator didn't punish troublesome kids. She gave them a closet full of stuff.

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First Book

This time last year, the top three most misbehaved boys at Equetta Jones’ elementary school were from the same family.

As assistant principal, it fell to Jones to figure out how to solve the problem. Other educators might prescribe detentions, suspensions, extra tutoring help, or even a doctor’s appointment to be evaluated for an attention-deficit issue. But Jones sensed that the problem ran deeper — and she had a solution.

“No child comes in every day and says 'I want to be angry. I want to hit you. I want to curse you out. I don’t want to learn,'” she says. “So it is our responsibility to find out why they’re verbalizing those things.”


Photo courtesy of Equetta Jones/Highlands Elementary School, used with permission.

Often, the problem is the same: Many kids are not having their basic health, shelter, and nutritional needs met. “The middle class, we forget about the fact that when we wake up every morning, we wake up with shelter,” Jones says.

Not all of her students have that luxury.

That’s why Jones’ school worked with an organization called First Book to install a “Care Closet” — a supply of basic essentials for kids in need.

First Book, which supplies books and educational tools for kids in low-income communities, started offering living essentials when they heard from teachers that they're just as important when it comes to helping kids do well in school.

With the Care Closet in place, Jones can give kids what they need and establish a sense of security so they can focus on school.

Photo courtesy of Equetta Jones/Highlands Elementary School, used with permission.

Her students are no longer worried about whether or not their basic needs are being met. "Their focus is now on coming in and being the best student they can be.”

The Care Closet project gives kids what they need to succeed. But they’re not handouts — they’re hand-ups.

Jones has a system in place to make sure the supplies make the greatest possible impact on the lives of the students.

Parents can come and ask for help, or if teachers notice that a child has an issue, they can discreetly let Jones know and she’ll take the child aside and get them what they need.

Photo courtesy of Equetta Jones/Highlands Elementary School, used with permission.

“I will give them the care package, let them go to the bathroom, clean themselves up, give them a fresh pair of clothes, fold up the dirty clothes, and then send them back home and call up the parents and let them know what I did,” she says. The whole process is discreet; Jones even bought department store-style shopping bags to keep their contents private.

Once the kids have what they need, that’s when the real work begins. When Jones calls children’s parents, there’s an understanding: Though the Care Closet doesn’t cost money, it doesn’t come for free.

“You need to give Ms. Jones back some time,” she says. Parents are asked to come into school and be engaged — either through volunteering or through coaching sessions that help the parents deal with some of the pressing problems in their families' lives.

“We feel that the information we’re giving is going to not only help them as a parent but also help the child within the classroom.

Photo courtesy of First Book, used with permission.

Jones’ method has already created big changes for some of the families at her school.

The three boys who were at the top of the disciplinary chart last year? They’re thriving now — thanks to Jones’ care closet intervention.

She found out that the boys’ mother was in an unhealthy relationship that was having a toxic effect on the whole family. “But she was afraid to leave because then the children wouldn’t have anything,” she says.

Photo courtesy of First Book, used with permission.

So Jones brought her in for a conversation.

"I connected her with some outside resources, gave her a scripted plan of what we expected of her,” she says. “And then we said, ‘Mom, follow through with us and we’ll do everything we can to support you.’” That was in September.

“Now it’s November, and Mom just recently moved into her own place,” Jones says. “She meets with me regularly for coaching sessions, we helped her write a resume, and she now has a job at one of our elementary schools.”

Now that their basic needs are being met, the three boys can concentrate on being successful kids. “They’re starting to smile,” she says. “They’re proud of who they’re becoming."

Photo courtesy of First Book, used with permission.

First Book continues to expand the Care Closet project across the country.

When kids have a caring presence like Jones and the resources they need, they have an opportunity to succeed.

“Unfortunately, if we don't catch those signs in advance, we’re faced with some of the situations that some of my older students are faced with,” she says. When their basic needs aren’t met, kids become desperate.

"It’s never, 'I plan to grow up and be this criminal,'" she says. "It’s 'I was faced with a situation and I found out this was a way for me to get things I couldn’t get.'"

That’s why Jones is so adamant about making sure her students have a solid foundation to further their education.

“All of their needs are being met here,” she says. And now that they have established that stability, “They know that their job is to go and learn.”

For more, take a look at how First Book's Care Closets are changing schools across the country:

Millions of children from low-income areas don’t have the tools needed to learn, placing them at a disadvantage that perpetuates poverty. First Book is a community that believes education is the way out of poverty for kids in need.

Years after it happened, Patagonia's approach to the "family-friendly workplace" is a whole new level that still deserves our attention - and praise.

The outdoor clothing and gear company has made a name for itself by putting its money where its mouth is. From creating backpacks out of 100% recycled materials to donating their $10 million tax cut to fight climate change to refusing to sell to clients who harm the environment, Patagonia leads by example.

That dedication to principle is clear in its policies for parents who work for them, as evidenced by a 2019 viral post from Holly Morisette, a recruiter at Patagonia.


Morisette wrote on LinkedIn:

"While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said...'There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge.'

It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a 'call to action'. A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families.

That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass.

It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. "


Holly Morissette on LinkedIn: "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said..."There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge." It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a “call to action". A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families. That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass. It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. " www.linkedin.com


Just the first eight words of Morisette's post are extraordinary. "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting..."

As if that's totally normal. As if everyone understands that working moms can be much more engaged and efficient in their jobs if they can feed their baby while they go over sales figures. As if the long-held belief that life and work must be completely separate is a construct that deserves to be challenged.

And then the comment from her male colleague about the ROI (Return on Investment) of breastfeeding—witty, considering the time and place, and yet so supportive.

On-site childcare so that parents don't have to choose between leaving their jobs or leaving their babies. Letting life integrate with work so that working families don't have to constantly feel torn in two different directions. Flexibility in meetings and schedules. Allowing for the natural rhythms and needs of breastfeeders. Making childcare as easy and accessible as possible so that employees can be more effective in their jobs.

All of this seems so profoundly logical, it's a wonder that more companies have not figured this out sooner. Clearly, it works. I mean, who has ever heard of a 100% retention rate for mothers?

Patagonia's got it goin' on. Let's hope more companies take their lead.


This article originally appeared on 8.16.19

Woman supporting gay husband receives outpouring of kindness

Nothing prepares you for every scenario life has to offer. There's no giant book titled "in case this happens" to guide you through all of life's unpredictable, knock-the-wind-out-of-your-lungs, earth-shattering moments. So we all do the best that we can and hope for the best or at the very least hope for forgiveness if we mess it up.

Some people seem to have a fairytale life with an adoring spouse, 2.5 kids and a dog but even those seemingly perfect couples are not immune from life pulling to rug from beneath them. Jasmine Collins is one of those young moms that seemed to be living the American dream. At 28, she is a stay at home mom to two children under the age of two, married to her high school sweetheart.

The two have been together for over 12 years, but recently her husband shared that he was gay. This revelation would send many people into a spiral that could result in hurtful words and anger. Collins' deep love for her husband is causing her to take a completely different approach.


The young mom took to social media at the encouragement of her husband to share their story. Collins didn't know anyone who had been through this life altering situation and was hoping to find support as well as let others know that they aren't alone. She uploaded a tearful video to social media that shows he sleeping baby on her chest while she shares the news.

"I know that a lot of people have been messaging me asking what's going on, why I'm moving out, and it's because I just found out that my husband and the man that I've been with since high school, for 12 years. We have two kids together and he just let me know that he's gay and he's been gay. He's been trying to fake it but he just can't anymore," Collins shares through tears.

people gathering near building during daytime Photo by Hannah Voggenhuber on Unsplash

That's enough to knock anyone off kilter and though the mom is hurting, she is also supporting her husband's desire to live his truth.

Collins admits to feeling confused as she soaks in the shocking information, saying, "I'm feeling so many things. I'm confused, I'm angry. I'm sad but I'm also happy. I'm happy that he can finally live his life and he doesn't have to hide himself anymore."

@itsjasminecollins Starting over ar 28. From a SAHM to a divorced single mom of two under two. #husband #wife #divorce #startingover ♬ original sound - itsjasminecollins

People may wonder why someone who is gay would marry someone who is straight but the truth is, there are many reasons that this may occur. The concept of marrying someone with a different sexual orientation as you is referred to as a "mixed orientation marriage." This can happen if a bisexual or pansexual person marries someone who is straight or gay. It doesn't matter if both partners in the relationship are of the same sex because one partner doesn't identify as gay.

Mixed orientation marriages can also happen if one person is gay and marries a straight person. Entering into a marriage like this knowingly is referred to as a "Lavender Marriage." But not everyone realizes they're in a relationship like this which can lead to heartbreak down the road. The most common reasons someone would hide their homosexuality to enter into a straight presenting relationship is due to societal standards, internalized homophobia and the desire to have a family.

There's no way to determine if Collins' husband knew in high school that he was gay and assumed his orientation would change by marrying a woman or if he himself discovered it after getting married. Only he would be able to answer that question but it seems right now the pair are most focused on how to move forward in the most supportive way.

The mom of two is receiving an outpouring of kindness and encouragement as she navigates this difficult chapter in her life. Some women are angry for her while others share their stories or simply encourage her to keep showing up.

"Girl you don't have to be supportive or understanding. You have to take care of your mental health and your kids first. Prioritize yourself first," one person writes.

"Girl find a support group. I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal. Your happiness for him shows what kind of woman you are. Take care mama," another encourages.

" That must be so hard. And you still finding it in your heart to be happy shows you truly have a great heart and genuinely love him. Keep your head up," someone else says.

"I'm sorry he waited so long to tell you and give you false hope. You're going to make it through this and find someone who can love you and all of you," a commenter shares.

difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations desk decor Photo by Nik on Unsplash

The encouraging and supportive words continued to pour into the comments hoping to add a little bit of light in the dark storm this mom is facing. Someone offers, "ohh mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're such a good person for being supportive, but you're also grieving the future you once had in mind and a person who was with you for so long."

Internet

Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for beautiful heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Photos by Murat Rahim Caglak and Antoni Shkraba via Canva

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.


"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below.

This article originally appeared on 4.3.24

Science

According to science, there is no difference between a "male" brain and a "female" brain

It's a great reminder that gendering activities and behaviors is a bunch of bunk.

Have you ever heard that women are "hardwired" to have better memories? Or that men are "naturally" better at navigating?

Sure, they're just stereotypes, but they're coming from somewhere. And for a long time we've been led to believe that men's and women's brains are fundamentally different, so why couldn't blanket statements like these hold some truth?

A veterinarian examines a sick dog.

Imagine this.

You grow up loving animals – you're the rare type of human who loves cats and dogs equally. You're also fond of birds, lizards — pretty much anything that was worth of securing a spot on the Ark.

So you decide to become a veterinarian when you grow up so you can help as many of them as possible.

As a vet, you do get to help a lot of animals! But here are some other things you deal with on a daily basis.


Abandoned, mistreated, and abused pets. You know that horrible Sarah McLaughlin commercial with all the sad animals that haunts all of our dreams? Imagine waking up and clocking into work and seeing that, or worse, every single day.

long-coated black and white dog during daytimeMuch needed photo of a cute dog. Photo by Baptist Standaert on Unsplash

Owners that can't or won't get proper care for their pets. Pet care, including essential medications and surgeries, is really expensive. Someone might adopt a puppy because they have the means to feed it and get it vaccines, but that doesn't mean they have $10,000 to shell out for hip surgery a few years later, and as a vet you may have to watch that animal go without.

(Though that's probably preferable to when owners come in wanting to euthanize perfectly healthy pets due to inconvenience.)

And then there's the fact that most veterinarians must perform euthanasia on a daily basis — a heartbreaking reality of the job.

All of that while often saddled with medical debt and making less than stellar wages.

As tough as these things are, many vets report that they're somehow the least stressful parts of their day-to-day.

The worst thing that vets actually deal with, though, is all the humans.

It's unfortunately very common for pet owners to get angry about the cost of care and take it out on veterinarians and their staff, hurling abuse and accusations of greed at them.

Cyber-bullying is a big problem, too, with angry customers leaving bad reviews and social media posts that vets aren't allowed to respond to due to privacy concerns.

From there, it's not unheard of for angry clients to make threats or even resort to violence against veterinarians.

The reality of the career is a far cry from just playing with puppies all day — it's frequently dealing with difficult, entitled, or emotional owners.

It should be no surprise, then, that veterinarians are facing a mental health crisis — but somehow it still is.

short-coated brown puppy on white floorThis dog would never scream at a vet and make them cry Photo by Jairo Alzate on Unsplash

When I learned that this is one of the industries with the highest rates of depression and suicide, I was completely shocked.

Of course, thinking through the challenges of the job, it makes total sense.

But the issue clearly hasn't been getting enough attention.

A recent report from Australian dog food brand Royal Canin and the charity Love Your Pet, Love Your Vet spelled out some sobering data:

Vets were four-times more likely than the general population to commit suicide, with a heart-breaking 68% of veterinarians surveyed having lost a colleague to suicide.

Even at the less extreme ends of the spectrum, the stress, anxiety, burnout, and depression in the industry are catastrophic.

On top, the general public has no idea how bad the problem is — almost 80% of Australians surveyed were not aware of veterinary mental health issues at all.

The problem is just as bad in the USA and other parts of the World. But...

A report from the AVMA shows that things are getting (a little) better. Making more people aware will help.

a brown cat lying on the groundAnother cute pet break Photo by Simone Dalmeri on Unsplash

Despite being an underreported crisis, there are tons of groups fighting to make an impact here — dog food brands, non profits, professional trade organizations — and the good news it might just be making a difference.

The 2024 shows that the number of vets receiving counseling has nearly doubled in the last several years, in part thanks to an increase in veterinary practices offering mental health coverage and other assistance programs.

There's been a huge emphasis on preventive care, which early returns show has been working.

These changes taking place inside animal hospitals and vet practices are huge.

But there are a lot of things we can do as pet owners to make things better, too.

We can show our gratitude and say Thank You. We can not be jerks when a service costs more than we think it should. We can grieve or be upset or angry and not take it out on the veterinarian who's just trying to help.

Our pets are our family members, and many of us would do anything for them.

Now we have to take better care — MUCH better care — of the people who care for our pets.