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Think you can't have firsts with an adopted teen? Think again.

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For Scott and Amy Arntson the idea of adoption was always in the back of their minds.

They thought about adoption and talked about it over the years as their biological kids grew up, but the timing just never felt right. Then, two summers ago, they saw a news segment featuring a teenage boy who was waiting for an adoptive family. The segment showcased the hundreds of other teens in their state waiting for permanent families too.

That was it for them. "We looked at each other and said, 'yup, this is our time,'" recalls Amy.

So Scott and Amy began to research adoption from foster care, and quickly realized the great need for families to adopt teens. Roughly 43% of youths actively listed on AdoptUSKids.org are between the ages of 15 and 18 years old. This only solidified their desire to bring a teenager into their family.

The next step was discussing adoption with their kids, Ashleigh and Devan. They wanted it to be a family decision, so everyone had to be on board.

After several discussions over a few days, the kids felt good about it, and the Arntsons were ready to move forward with looking for their new family member.

Amy and Scott reached out to an adoption agency in their hometown of Duluth, Minnesota called North Homes Children and Family Services, and began the process. Eventually they were matched with a 17-year-old boy named Isaiah.

Almost immediately, Amy knew he was going to be a part of their family.

Isaiah is an athlete who enjoys running, and Scott is the head track and field coach at a local high school. Isaiah also has an amazing smile that can only be described as contagious.

Isaiah. All photos via the Arntsons, used with permission.

So Scott and Amy drove four hours to Isaiah's foster home to meet him.

"He’s the only child we ever met," says Amy. "As soon as I met him I knew that he would join our family."

Over dinner, they talked about the sports Isaiah plays and the town of Duluth, which Isaiah had visited and enjoyed. They also talked about math being a difficult subject for him and how Scott might be able to help, as he's also a math teacher. Even though it was their first time meeting, the family felt a connection almost instantly.

The Arntsons invited Isaiah to spend Thanksgiving with them, which was the day after they met him. Amy and her daughter, Ashleigh, drove eight hours to bring Isaiah back to their home for the holiday the very next day.

Between the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, Isaiah spent most of his weekends with the Arntsons, getting to know them and all their quirks. He was there for some sibling squabbles, two car breakdowns, and a performance by their family band. By the end of December, the Arntsons knew they wanted Isaiah to join their family, but recognized it had to be his decision.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to say, 'yes.'

Scott, Isaiah and Amy.

"When you hold a newborn baby in your arms, it’s the exact same thing as when you have a teenager who says they want to join your family," says Amy. "It's the most humbling, loving experience."

The official adoption day was moving for Isaiah too.

"Seeing my dad smile, that was pretty cool," he recalls. "He’s a serious guy, he always has that coach’s face and he smiled. It was a good day."

There was definitely an adjustment period for everyone after Isaiah moved in with the Arnstons.

For example, Amy felt like she needed to put extra effort in so Isaiah always knew that he was loved. One of the things Isaiah loves is scary movies, so she would go see them all in the theaters with him, even though she's not a scary movie person.

Scott also had some adjustments to make.

"I thought after raising two other teens I had an idea of how to raise a teen," he notes. "I was wrong."

The family also took Isaiah on vacations — something he hadn't really experienced before. They spent nights camping, playing games and sharing stories — and that's when Amy feels like Isaiah really started to let his guard down and opened up to them.

Devan, Ashleigh and Isaiah at Mount Rushmore.

Back at home, Isaiah had no trouble starting at his new school. Devan, now his older brother, was a senior there and took Isaiah under his wing at first, but Isaiah's infectious laughter and friendly personality helped him make new friends in no time.

And before the Arntsons knew it, they were experiencing all kinds of firsts with him — prom, getting his driver's license, high school graduation, and moving him into his freshman dorm at college.

Devan and Isaiah ready for prom.

Moving to college was a big deal and left Scott and Amy feeling incredibly proud and emotional, especially since Isaiah is their last child to leave the nest.

While these moments may not have been every first of his life, they were every bit as special.

Amy says she didn't need to rock Isaiah to sleep to love him — she loves him because he's her son.

She wants other prospective parents to know that when you adopt an older child, it doesn't mean they're going to leave when they turn 18. Just like any child, they want a family who will be there for them throughout their life.

When kids in foster care age out of the system, they often have little to no support. A permanent family provides a support system that will forever change their future.

"That's what having a family is," says Amy. "Someone who's there no matter what."

The learn more about the Arntsons, check out the video below:

Learn more about adopting teens.

Community

Facebook group brings people together IRL to make meaningful friendships

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Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

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Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

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friendship

Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

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money

Identity

One man turned nursing home design on its head when he created this stunning facility

"What if we design an environment that looks like outside?" he said. "What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building?

92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.

Every night around 5:30 p.m., she stood up and told the staff at her Ohio nursing home that she needed to leave. When they asked why, she said she needed to go home to take care of her mother. Her mom, of course, had long since passed away.

Behavior like Norma's is quite common for older folks suffering from Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. Walter, another man in the same assisted living facility, demanded breakfast from the staff every night around 7:30.

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Health

If you're grieving a loved one this holiday season, here's a gift you can give yourself

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.

Images courtesy of Kelly Cervantes

Kelly Cervantes wrote her way through grieving the loss of her daughter, Adelaide.

Kelly Cervantes begins the Introduction to her book with five words: "Grief sucks. It's also weird." It's a concise truth that anyone who has lost a loved one knows all too well.

Grief is a universal experience—none of us get through life without loss—but it's also unique to each person. Most of us are familiar with the popular "stages of grief" theory, but denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (along with guilt and a host of things) are less like sequential rungs on a ladder and more like pools you fall into at various times as you stumble your way through the grief process. Grief is not linear and it's not neat and tidy and it's not predictable.

Take it from someone who's been there. Kelly Cervantes lost her daughter, Adelaide, to epilepsy just shy of her 4th birthday. Using writing as a therapeutic tool to help her process Adelaide's medically complex life, death and everything that came after, Kelly created the book she wished she'd had as she was trying to navigate her own grieving process.

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grief

Think you can't have firsts with an adopted teen? Think again.

For Scott and Amy Arntson the idea of adoption was always in the back of their minds.

The next step was discussing adoption with their kids, Ashleigh and Devan. They wanted it to be a family decision, so everyone had to be on board.

"He’s the only child we ever met," says Amy. "As soon as I met him I knew that he would join our family."

There was definitely an adjustment period for everyone after Isaiah moved in with the Arnstons.

Amy says she didn't need to rock Isaiah to sleep to love him — she loves him because he's her son.

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

"What if we design an environment that looks like outside?" he said. "What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building?

92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.

Confusion is common in Alzheimer's patients, but Makesh knew there had to be some way to minimize these conflicts.

Instead of rooms or units, each resident gets a "home" on a quiet little indoor street reminiscent of the neighborhoods many of them grew up in.

Instead of a boring panel ceiling, residents look up and see a digital sky, which grows dimmer late in the day to help keep their biological clocks in tune.

Throughout the day, nature sounds and fresh aromas like peppermint or citrus are piped in.

For Makesh, this isn't just about making patients comfortable, though. He wants to change how we think about the endgame of severe dementia.

Of course, we're a long way from a cure for Alzheimer's.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

Trameka Brown-Berry was looking over her 4th-grade son Jerome's homework when her jaw hit the floor.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

The assignment was real. In the year 2018. Unbelievable.

The shockingly offensive assignment deserved to be thrown in the trash. But young Jerome dutifully filled it out anyway.

"You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can't."

1. You're going to have to get uncomfortable.

2. "Your black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn't want to appear to be that 'angry black man.'"

3. We are constantly monitoring our surroundings and adjusting our clothes, hair, speed, and speech to maintain white comfort.

4. "Your black friend wishes you'd play more than Beyoncé. There are more black performers than Beyoncé."

5. Speaking of which, performative blackness is really uncomfortable.

6. "Your black friend feels like a man without a country."

7. We would love it if we could stop talking about our anxiety and frustrations regarding racism. But right now, that's impossible.

The billionaire passed away on November 28 at the age of 99.

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.