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youth sports

One mom has had enough with so-called casual extracurriculars that require massive family commitments

"Let's sign our six-year-old up for soccer!" you think one day, trying to be the good involved parent. It's all fun and games at first, and there doesn't seem to be much of a downside. Your child will get exercise, learn teamwork and cooperation, develop leadership skills, and get valuable time outside away from tablets and other screens. The games will be fun, and there will be snacks, Gatorade, and, of course, the orange slices. What could go wrong?

Fast forward two years, and suddenly you're at practice until seven p.m. three nights per week and arranging to travel out of town for a weekend tournament in Jacksonville. Your house is in shambles, you're living off of fast food, and your bank account is screaming at you to stop signing up for extra private training sessions and off-season leagues.

When did it get like this? Didn't there once be a time when kids could casually play sports without worrying about whether they'd be able to get a college scholarship or go pro one day?

One frustrated mom on TikTok is wondering the same thing, and just unleashed a perfect monologue against what she calls the "professionalization" or youth sports.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrensoccer win GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

The mom, who goes by @LittleRedSchoolHouse on social media, has a daughter who takes ballet—and it's driving her to the brink. "My daughter is in dance, and that's great, she loves it. But she doesn't want to be a ballerina, she doesn't want to be a professional dancer. She just likes to go to her class and dance," she says.

Yet, despite the casual nature of the class, the mom suddenly found herself signed up for a whopping three performances in a 24-hour period. The kicker is that her daughter would only be dancing for five minutes in each show.

"We have to be there for 12 hours so she can dance for 15 minutes." And then there's tickets to buy, costume fees, paying for her daughter to be in the performance (a separate fee from the usual tuition!), and a fundraiser to participate in to raise additional money. It's a massive time and financial commitment from the family.

"I think we need to normalize kids being able to participate in activities and extracurriculars without professionalizing them as parents. For example, kids should be able to play soccer without having to go to league championships or weekend-long jamborees or away games," she says. "They should be able to gain the skill of playing on a team, learning how to play a sport, being physical, having fun with their friends, getting out there and being active, without being forced into this, ‘More, more, more, go, go, go, go, you must be the best at it,’ sort of behavior."

You can watch the whole, compelling argument here:


@littleredschoolhouseco

Not to mention that this kind of commitment is difficult for parents or kids with disabilities, and families in general who have more than one kid that participates in activities. When did extra curriculars become so EXTRA? More is not always better! #letthembelittle #homeschoolextracurricular #parenting

Parents poured into the comments to air their own grievances with the current state of youth sports culture:

"Travel teams are SO out of control."

"What’s even crazier is if you don’t commit like this when they’re little they’re almost guaranteed to not make the school teams when they get to it at grade level."

"I think it’s also ruined kids' sense of self-worth and reality. Not everyone can go pro, and that’s okay, and it also makes kids think that only rich kids can go pro."

"Privatization ruins everything. Public rec leagues and classes are age-appropriate, inclusive, and affordable. Kids learn skills and have fun, and they can change activities every season if they want."

Adults aren't immune to this same system and culture. We can't even have hobbies anymore without feeling like we need to somehow monetize them into a side hustle or eventually go pro. So it makes sense that kids aren't allowed to play sports for fun without having big ambitions of playing at the university level. This creates a paradox described well by a Vox article whereby only kids from families with the most resources even have a shot at playing at high levels. Only "semi-rich" families can afford the time and money it takes to stay involved with high-stakes leagues.

kids, youth sports, kids sports, soccer, dance, ballet, parents, parenting, moms, motherhood, childrenRunning around, drinking Gatorade, and eating oranges. That's what youth sports should be! Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Some users chimed in to blame parents for pushing too hard and trying to "live vicariously" through their children. But the point of the viral TikTok was that parents are often in a bind where there aren't any more casual options, and they have to choose between high-stakes activities or no activities at all.

Kids who want to obsess over being the best and chase the highest highs of their chosen sport should have those opportunities. But there should also be low-stakes activities available through public parks, churches, the YMCA, and other community centers. Until those options start coming back, kids and parents alike will be paying the price.

Being a young gay athlete can be rough. I know because I was one.

I had fun playing basketball in high school, but it was exhausting — on and off the court. Hearing homophobic language tossed around the locker room like one of the basketballs was part of the daily grind. And it was painful thinking,would any of my teammates accept me for who I am?

Clearly, I'm not the only one who felt that way.


Persisting homophobic attitudes in the sports world are a very real thing. But, at the same time, plenty of young athletes (I'd guess the silent majority even) would welcome an LGBTQ teammate — no questions asked.

That's why these rainbow-wrapped hockey sticks are so freaking cool.

Hockey players will soon be able to show their support for their LGBTQ teammates simply by wrapping Pride Tape (seen below) on their sticks. In doing so, they're showing those on and off the ice that they support and promote inclusion of LGBTQ players.

Photo via Pride Tape, used with permission.

Pride Tape — which is currently being funded through a Kickstarter campaign — was launched by the Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services at the University of Alberta in Canada, as well as the You Can Play Project, which promotes LGBTQ inclusion in sports.

The tape addresses a widespread problem. Fear of being bullied by teammates prevents many young queer athletes — an estimated 81% of gay males and 76% of lesbians — from coming out of the closet, according to an international report on homophobia released last year.

Dr. Kris Wells, who's heading the Pride Tape campaign, said homophobia in sports certainly exists in Canada too: "[Pride Tape is] a simple way to show your support for LGBTQ youth without actually even having to say any words," Wells told Upworthy. "It can become a powerful statement."

Pride Tape has been a hit since it launched about a month ago, thanks in part to support from a star athlete.

Since the campaign for Pride Tape officially launched in December, the response has been "phenomenal," according to Wells. Every major Canadian TV network has agreed to air a commercial for the tape that features NHL player Andrew Ference free of charge. Ads spreading the word about the project have launched across Canada too.

"Some kids stop playing the game they love just because they’re gay," Ference says in the commercial. "Let’s show every player they’re welcome on the ice."

The Pride Tape campaign shot a commercial for their efforts with a little star power from Andrew Ference, a player on the NHL's Edmonton Oilers. Photo via Pride Tape, used with permission.

"People just said, 'Whatever we can do to support, count on us,'" Wells explained of the campaign's success thus far.

The campaign's aiming to raise a bit more than $39,000, which would allow it to provide 10,000 rolls of tape for free "to local teams across Canada and beyond," according to a press release. As of Friday afternoon, it's raised over $24,000.

Right now, the tape isn't quite ready to be sold on the market. But its creators hope that will change soon.

Once the initial Kickstarter campaign wraps (get it?), the hope is that interest in the tape will allow more to be manufactured and sold, with profits directly benefitting LGBTQ youth initiatives at the institute and the You Can Play Project.

Photo via Pride Tape, used with permission.

"The more that we're talking about [LGBTQ inclusion] in the locker room, in the stands, in our community rinks, and in our schools, the better," Wells says. "Because that's what's going to lead to a change in attitudes."

As far as long-term plans, the goal is to expand Pride Tape products for athlete use in other sports as well.

Pride Tape is a simple, colorful concept that could make a big difference to many young people.

I know high school me would have loved to see any sign that one of my teammates had my back. So I'm guessing plenty of kids will be thrilled to spot a rainbow-striped hockey stick out in the ice rink soon.

Support the Pride Tape Kickstarter here.