upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Community

Pittsburgh man pays inner city high school football players for good grades to help community

One high schooler takes three buses several days a week just to train with him.

football; youth football; youth sports; community; helping community; youth mentorship
Photos courtesy of Roland Johnson

Pittsburgh man pays youth football players for good grades.

You don't need a Mister Rogers personality to work with kids and instill something good into your community. Sometimes all it takes is a little determination, a dream, and people who believe in your mission—but it's not always easy to get the latter. Pittsburgh road construction worker and father of three, Roland Johnson, has been working double duty for years.

Roland is not just fixing potholes and repaving roads—though there are plenty of days where he's working overtime there too. His second job is one born of passion, empathy, and abundant acts of kindness. Since around 2019, he's been helping youth football players with agility, strength, and endurance trainings along with the other basics of football through his small business, Monstarz Athletics. Offering private training sessions to families of kids who dream of going pro can be lucrative, especially in a city like Pittsburgh where the unofficial slogan is, "We're a beer town with a football problem."

But Johnson isn't collecting big bucks from wealthy families and school districts. In fact, the former high school football player often takes money from his own pocket to cover costs. It's not how he initially intended his business to run. "Multiple kids reached out to me and their parents just didn’t have the money," Johnson told Upworthy. "Sometimes the kids or parents would show up with extra kids but didn't have any money to practice and I couldn’t turn them down. You know, I wasn't just going to let them watch while other kids were getting in work."

Johnson laughs while reminiscing before adding, "One kid would catch three PAT [Port Authority Transit] buses to get to me and get dropped off on the highway and walk to the gym to work out with me. It dang near made me cry when I found out."

There was a stark difference between working with kids from wealthier neighborhoods and kids from the inner city. Johnson explains that the former would often be inconsistent with training sessions, often dropping off once they learned whatever skill they were wanting to learn. In contrast, the kids from the inner city who couldn't pay much showed up to every training giving everything they could to the game. This is where the disadvantages became visible.

The kids that poured all they could onto the field weren't getting seen by recruiters for colleges. According to Johnson, not every kid plays on a good team and college recruiters don't always come out to the more disadvantaged neighborhoods. Johnson recalls a time when he was at a high school football game with some of his players when shots rang out and chaos ensued. Thankfully no one inside the stadium was injured, but the incident made it more imperative for him to get his trainees to the college camps to "put them in positions to be seen more by recruiters and stuff like that."

football, inner-city youth, youth sports, communityJohnson poses with some of his kids.Photos c/o Rolan Johnson

While football is the reason kids initially come to see him, Roland offers them much more. Many of the boys and some girls he works with don't have positive male figures in their lives to learn from. so his mentorship extends beyond the field.

"The most rewarding thing isn’t even the athletic side of it, it’s the young man development side. The way they approach me. The gratification of seeing the young boys evolve into more mature men. There was a kid that quit right after the Florida championships and his teammates reached out because they knew something was up with him. I reached out to him on his Instagram and he was back in the streets. We talked and I encouraged him to straighten up. That there was more than the streets. Some kids are just more hardheaded...found out he got back on the team at the start of the season. Missed the whole summer of practices but he's back on the field now."

In an effort to keep kids on the field and in the books instead of on the streets, Johnson pays the high schoolers a stipend—but there's a catch before the stipend kicks in: you have to have a 3.0 GPA. Once they have a 3.0, he then pays them, "I pay per 'A.' So every 'A' you show me on your report card you get paid. For every touchdown, you get paid."

Johnson says the stipends come from his own paychecks from his day job, but it's important for him to provide this particular incentive for the kids. "It’s motivation. ‘It’s time to be a nerd, I can be a nerd for some money real quick.’ Your grades are coming up so every semester your GPA is looking better. Ain’t nothing like having money in your pocket when you’re out with the homies and you can afford to buy you and your homies something to drink. It makes you feel good about yourself and gives you extra confidence. It makes you feel like you’re on a different level," Johnson explains happily.

Currently, Monstarz Athletics is fundraising to send 11 high schoolers to college football camps at reduced rates. College football camps are always top priority for upperclassmen players because "that’s where coaches can see how you perform in competition, not just perform in skill drills," notes Johnson. "They also get the opportunity to see them one on one. More opportunities for scholarships too."

One of the main fundraisers is their GoFundMe page, but Johnson is looking into ways to sponsor individual players and prepare sponsorship packages to send out to businesses. While he loves being there for the players, he knows it's not a feat he can take on without the occasional help of donations from those also hoping to make a difference in the lives of others.

From Your Site Articles
youth mentorship
CommunityJoy
Badge
All In
Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.
Pop Culture

All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a Dancing with the Stars trend gone viral or maybe bridesmaids who fully supportive of the bride's favorite movie (and recreates an iconic scene). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. An Iconic "snow-coaster"

One thing about going all in - it can be crazy and childish at times. That’s something that makes going all in special, connecting with that side of you that takes things less seriously in order to have some fun. Shira Goldstone and her husband took to that mindset when it started snowing in their backyard. Shira’s husband picked up planks of wood (and whatever other tools are required) and within the same night, in the falling snow, built a “snow-coaster” for the two of them to play on.

2. A Truck That's Feeding It's Community

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free bar), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things

For Giving Tuesday, All In teamed up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.


3. All In on Madam Morrible

I’m always all in on a good TikTok trend. This week, I’m going to share with you a classic that has come out of the Wicked franchise and the incredible actress Michelle Yeoh.

Michelle, who plays Madame Morrible in the Wicked movies, is an outstanding actress. She’s known for iconic films like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, as well as Crazy Rich Asians and Star Trek. But her legacy might be this one quote, which she’s said in interviews countless times, and now people can’t stop making videos with the phrase “Madame Morrible, M.M…flip it around, W.W. Wicked Witch!”

You might have to take a look at how people are going all in yourself, the sound has taken off with already 14.3K videos, and the variations are unstoppable...defying all odds and maybe even...defying gravity?

4. Spotify Wrapped: All in on "Coconut Mall"

TikTok · Ale

www.tiktok.com

There’s nothing better than finding a song that hits just right and gets you feeling productive. For some people, it’s lofi beats. For others, it’s orchestra music. For TikTok user @aleinmotion, it was the “coconut mall” song from the Mario Kart racing soundtrack. Ale never realized how much she listened to the song until it became #1 on her Spotify Wrapped. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what you love most, and I’m thinking this is one of those moments for Ale.

5. A Family Prank Everyone Enjoys

This girl said her boyfriend had an ugly hat, so her family decided to go all in on supporting him instead. This is when love and humor come together, a perfect prank that actually made the boyfriends day…and taught his girlfriend that nothing is really that serious! They even got the daughter her very own hat as well, and she looked happy to wear it!

As someone who grew up with a dad who always wore floppy hats to protect him from the sun, I understand the embarrassment. Maybe it’s time I go all in and show my support with a matching hat and white long sleeve sun shirt!

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick up your favorite flavor of an All In bar at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one bar. Enjoy!

Pop CultureMusicHumorSponsoredJoyCommunityArt
Art

Art prodigy sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest, art, kids, artists, painting, Pope
Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was five years old, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-six-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. When they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.

art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old.Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame

When Autumn was eight, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had...questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn ignored her critics and kept painting.

By age 14, she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5

Somehow, as the focus on her age began to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it was back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest

The results speak for themselves

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists An Autumn de Forest paintingAutumn de Forest

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with Pope Francis.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, art Autumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

At 16, she also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager—fetching as much as $25,000 each—much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.

Now 24, Autumn continues to be represented by Park West Gallery, the world's largest art dealer, and is keeping busy with her craft and philanthropy.

- YouTube youtu.be

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has certainly kept her busy. In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 88 million views on YouTube.

And of course, de Forest continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone so young, but that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

De Forest's latest solo exhibition debuted in late August of this year, and ran through mi September at the Park West Soho Gallery. She now resides in Los Angeles according to her profile on the networking site, dot.cards.

For more information, visit her website.

This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
art
ArtJoy
Modern Families

Wife has a mic-drop comeback after husband introduces her to coworkers as 'The Housewife'

Bet he really wishes he'd chosen his words more carefully.

couples, couple fight, red flags, put downs, relationships, housewife
via Artur Voznenko/Unsplash

An angry wife shares her thoughts with her husband.

What started as a pleasant social evening quickly took a negative turn. A husband invited some new coworkers over for dinner and instead of properly introducing his wife, he made a sexist joke that she felt was belittling. The wife, who goes by the name Sadie on Reddit, shared the story on the AITA forum to ask if she responded correctly.

Spoiler alert: Yes, she did. “My husband invited his new coworkers over for dinner. When they arrived, he introduced me by gesturing at me and saying, ‘This is Mrs. Smith (he didn't even say my name)...the housewife!'" Sadie revealed.

“I looked at him for a second, then I started laughing hysterically,” Sadie continued. “I then said, ‘No, honey, I work full time, and YES I still act like a housewife when I'm home because you simply can't bother to help.’” After Sadie’s remark, the guests stared at the husband, who tried to laugh it off and then changed the subject by asking them if they wanted a drink.

The rest of the dinner was awkward, with the husband and wife exchanging angry glances. After the guests left, the husband blew up at Sadie, saying that she laughed like a “lunatic” and that she ruined “his image.”

couple, fighting, spouses, husband, wife Husband fussing at wife.Canva Photos.

“I told him he was wrong to lie about my status and deny my degree, to begin with,” Sadie continued. He said I could've talked to him about it privately later but not like this, and making his coworkers think he's useless.” Sadie asked the online forum if she was out of line, and they responded with a collective, "No!"

People overwhelmingly supported the wife, raising an issue far beyond the fact that her husband was seriously inconsiderate. It’s a big red flag in a relationship when one spouse diminishes or belittles the other in public or private.

“Men who diminish their partners to look better at the office are gross. He only seemed to care about his embarrassment and not yours. I'd be mortified if my husband used a lie that robbed me of my success and accomplishments to prop himself up," one user responded.

“It's a red flag for the relationship. He doesn't want a partner who is an equal. He wants a dependent woman who he can provide for completely so he can feel like a man," another user added.

Some also noted that it was wrong of him to disparage homemakers.

"He diminished (being a housewife is not a ‘low’ role, but he meant it that way) you in public, you corrected him. In public. As he deserved,” said another.

woman, red flag, gif, couples, fight Red Flags Reaction GIF by Kamie Crawford Giphy

The viral post received over 24,000 comments, highlighting the idea that belittling your partner is a serious sign of a dysfunctional relationship that should not be ignored.

According to Psychology Today, backhanded compliments, digs, and subtle put-downs are attempts by one partner to make the other feel small and themselves feel big. “Although cleverly disguised as a joke or a compliment, these comments may qualify as ‘toxic’ if they sting, cause confusion, and replay in a person’s mind for days, disrupting their peace,” Erin Leonard, Ph.D. writes.

Ultimately, commenters overwhelmingly agreed that Sadie was right not to let her husband's belittling compliment go unnoticed. By sharing it online, she opened up a meaningful discussion about appropriate humor in relationships. Studies show that it’s healthy for partners to joke around with one another, but when the comments are thinly veiled put-downs and backhanded compliments, it’s no laughing matter.

couple, couple fighting, husband and wife, red flags, conflict Husband and wife sit on opposite sides of the couch looking unhappy.Canva Photos.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
marriage
Modern FamiliesFamily
Community

Frugal people share 15 "fancy" home hacks that feel bougie while still saving them money

"It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!"

frugal, frugal living, frugal home, frugal house, frugal money saving tips
Photo credit: Canva

Frugal people share money saving home tips.

Being frugal can sometimes feel anything but luxurious. Saving money usually means cutting back or giving up on the "finer" things.

But frugal people have found ways to still cut back on household spending while making their homes feel like five-star hotels. And bonus: their frugal "little luxuries" can have even bigger payoffs than saving money—they have big mental health benefits.

“Little luxuries can trigger the release of feel-good neurotransmitters, improving overall mood,” Robert Cuyler, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer at Freespira, explained to VeryWell Mind. "Physically, little luxuries that promote relaxation and well-being can lead to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, reduced muscle tension, and a strengthened immune system due to decreased stress levels."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

To save money around the house while still feeling fancy, these are 15 frugal home hacks.

"My grandfather in law has motion sensor lights in every room in his home. He got me some for my apartment back in the day, and man oh man. I felt like a KING every time I walked in and the lights just popped on. My energy bill was also noticeably smaller. Still not sure why they changed to walled sized bills... Also, as an eco conscious human, I was glad to be saving energy. Finally, I found it to be more hygienic and less stressful when not having to worry about touching lights when cooking or whatever. Still swear by automated illumination to this day." - KVNTRY

"Wait til you hear about pressure-based light switches. I put one in the door jamb of my pantry so when you open the door, the light immediately kicks on. Close it again, and it shuts off. It’s glorious." - Stone_The_Rock

"Cloth napkins. We haven’t bought paper napkins in years, and the cloth ones are so much nicer anyway." - SmileFirstThenSpeak

"Carrying everything on trays. I might be overdosing on Downton Abbey, but having trays of various sizes readily available is nicer and easier." - Heel_Worker982

@hellobrownlow

welcome to Frugal Living Essentials! we're talking about all the little things that add up to being super frugal in your day to day life. #frugalliving #frugalmom #singleincomefamily #livebelowyourmeans #frugal

"Changing my toilet seats out to the easy to slide off versions so you clean everything more thoroughly without fighting crevices is a game changer." - mycofirsttime

"An led bulb that I programmed to do sunrise/sunset wakeup and sleep routines. Silicone trays to put skincare products on." - Okiedonutdokie

"Auto sensor soap and water dispenser for the kitchen so I don't have to clean the faucets when I might have gotten raw meat juices on them." - SilentRaindrops

"I bought a big pack of white washcloths for general use and I keep a stack neatly folded in half on the bathroom counter. Feels hotel-core and 'prepared' for little effort." - infieldmitt

"Having indoor plants - especially the ones that have low light needs and are easy to propagate. My pothos plant is the gift that keeps on giving since its cuttings have allowed me to have greenery in every room of my place. I’ve gotten all my plants frugally - cuttings from friends, inherited plants from moving neighbors, rescued plants from work, and occasional purchases from places like Aldi or Trader Joe’s. I’m lucky to have a southeast facing room and all of my plants thrive in there. I feel so freaking fancy sitting among my plants, reading a book with my dog by my side." - onlythegoodstuff44

"Bathroom fan switch with choice of how many minutes you want it to run. No more worrying about it running when we're asleep or outside the house." - fishfishbirdbirdcat

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I put a pretty vintage pitcher in my shower that I fill up with hot water to use while I have the water turned off. It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!" - laurasaurus5

"My door catchers and door stops. For the room doors that are almost always open, I installed magnetic door catchers on the baseboard. This holds the doors in place, creating clean lines in the rooms and predictably large openings. I also had two 5 lbs kettle bells which I spray painted chrome and use as door stops at my front and back doors. They are easy to place, look good, and securely hold heavy exterior doors open. I love them." - AvivaStrom

"We got a robot vacuum mop. For the price of one month of having a cleaner come in to do my floors, I can have someone other than me vacuum and mop daily! Yay for Mr. Clean! Such a cheerful helper! It feels a little like having staff. 🧐" - mystery_biscotti

"Purchased a French door from Lowes and replaced my sliding glass door. It made the room 'pop'. They have doors in every price range via their catalog from a modest expense to very expensive. I absolutely hate sliding glass doors." - texasusa

"Get one of those shower curtain rods that's curved outward. Total game changer." - CurnanBarbarian

From Your Site Articles
frugal home
CommunityJoy
Culture

When the mail carrier can't read your handwriting the USPS calls in these experts to save the day

"Master keyers" can decipher a new address roughly every four seconds

postal workers, mailman, mail carrier, usps, mail, handwriting, package delivery, delivery driver
Photo credit: Canva & *Hajee/Flickr

The remote mail processing facility that deciphers our sloppy chicken-scratch addresses.

ALT HL: When mail addresses are too hard to read, they get sent to this strange and fascinating facility

ALT HL: The crack team of 800 specialists that works around the clock to decipher sloppy handwriting on US mail

Our handwriting is getting worse. More and more of our writing and communications are being done digitally, and young people, in particular, are getting a lot less practice when it comes to their calligraphy. Most schools have stopped teaching cursive, for example, while spending far more time on typing skills.

And yet, we still occasionally have to hand-address our physical mail, whether it's a holiday card, a postcard, or a package.

We don't always make it easy on the postal service when they're trying to decipher where our mail should go. Luckily, they have a pretty fascinating way of dealing with the problem.

The U.S. Postal Service sees an unimaginable amount of illegible addresses on mail every single day. To be fair, not all of it comes down to sloppy handwriting. Labels and packaging can get wet, smudged, ripped, torn, or otherwise damaged, and that makes it extremely difficult for mail carriers to decipher the delivery address.

You'd probably imagine that if the post office couldn't read the delivery address, they'd just return the package to the sender. If so, you'd be wrong. Instead, they send the mail (well, at least a photo of it) to a mysterious and remote facility in Salt Lake City, Utah called the U.S Postal Service Remote Encoding Center.

According to Atlas Obscura, the facility is open 24 hours per day. Expert workers take shifts deciphering, or encoding, scanned images of illegible addresses. The best of them work through hundreds per hour, usually taking less than 10 seconds per item. The facility works through over five million pieces of mail every day.

Every. Single. Day.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The process of encoding the mail is very cool. The electronic system the encoders—called "keyers"—use is connected to real conveyer belts full of mail all over the country.

The local mail distributors are counting on the REC to properly process the illegible mail items before they get dumped off the conveyer belt and into a bin that must be sorted by hand.

Time is of the essence! That's why the best keyers process an address about every four seconds. Like a library, there's no talking or extra noise allowed in the work room. It's important that the keyers have the utmost focus at all times.

Not all of the items that come through the REC are the result of bad or damaged handwriting, by the way. Sometimes, the handwriting is highly stylized. That's why posters displaying cursive letters are hung in every cubicle, next to coding sheets that list state abbreviations, cities, etc.

At one point, there were 55 similar sites all across the United States. But improvements in software that can automatically read addresses and the lower volume of handwritten mail and letters going out means the Salt Lake City facility is the last one standing.

The REC currently employs about 800 people, but the facility is processing less and less mail every year.

Even still, the human keyers are the last line of defense when AI, machine-learning, and fancy algorithms fail. The technology will continue to improve, but human intuition and judgment simply can't be replaced in the toughest cases.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What happens if the keyers at the USPSREC can't decipher an address? All is not lost.

A local postal worker would retrieve the mail from the "reject bin" and do his or her best to figure it out upon closer, physical inspection. If that fails, the mail would likely be returned to its original sender.

However, some postal workers have been known to go above and beyond to deliver mail. One famous viral story out of Iceland shows a sender that hand-doodled a map on the outside of a letter in lieu of an address—and it worked.

In recent years, there's been a lot of supposed "concern" about the U.S. Postal Service not being profitable and losing money each year. It is self-funded and receives no funds from American tax dollars.

Amid talks of the USPS's "broken business model," it's easy to forget that mail and package delivery is an essential public service. It keys our economy, our communities, and our democracy.

The postal service is in danger of being shut down or privatized, but that would be a major disservice to the postal workers and Encoding Center keyers who work tirelessly to make sure mail gets delivered on time to the right place.

From Your Site Articles
mailman
CultureJoy
Love Stories

Penn Badgley compares romantic relationships to gardening, and the metaphor is spot on

He beautifully illustrates the difference between falling in love and being in love.

penn badgley, joe from you, botanical garden, gardening, flowers
Photo credit: Canva

Penn Badgley's botanical garden analogy is resonating with people.

Poets and philosophers have been using metaphors and analogies to try to define love for millennia, so it seems like we would have heard them all by now. But Penn Badgley, whose role as serial killer Joe in the TV series You couldn't be further from his real-life persona, has shared a metaphor for relationships that is hitting home.

Badgley has been married to his wife, Domino, since 2017, and he shared on the Mighty Pursuit Podcast some thoughts on the difference between falling in love and being in a real, long-term relationship. He explained that the initial experience of falling in love is "a total dream state that does not last."

"It's like the 'falling in love' energy," he says, "and if you go real hard and fast, then you'll burn through it quickly, and if you go slow it might last two years." But the physiological addiction of love, the infatuation period, always comes to an end. "And then, what are you left with?" he asks.

He talks about allowing your partner to be a whole person, with qualities that might be unattractive or uninteresting or imperfect. "Love on those terms is completely different," he says.

"You know, you go to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. It's gorgeous. Being in love—falling in love—is like walking through the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Maybe you've gotten a free ticket. You walk in, you're like, 'Wow, this is beautiful.'"

garden, flowers, brooklyn botanical gardens, gardening metaphor, beautiful garden Bluebells at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Rhododendrites/Wikimedia Commons

"I think being in a relationship is more like being a gardener at the Botanical Gardens," Badgley says. "It's like, you know how this all works. And you got to do some work, but that should be joyful, because you're making it beautiful. You go from being a passive person visiting a garden exhibit to becoming a master gardener. You really have to understand things about the soil, just the diversity of the plants that affect one another."

"The ecosystem of one person's interior and another is like that," he continues. "It's like the interaction of ecosystems. They have to find balance. And when they do, there's this really lovely, new kind of perfection."

The analogy is a powerful one that might help people who may be familiar with the falling in love experience but not so skilled in the being in a relationship part. Falling in love is passive enjoyment. Being in a relationship is learning how to create beauty and maintain it, building skills and understanding as you go.

"So many people these days want the botanical garden without putting in the gardening work. I love this analogy🪴🪏💚."

"Wow the way he explained this is so mesmerizing and relatable."

"His example of garden/nature is perfect; relationship/your partner is sacred. It shouldn't be treated as anything less."

"This is a very good analogy, most just want to visit daily vs becoming a gardner."

"The garden comparison was brilliant, very bright man who knows the hardships and struggles of a relationship but learning how to navigate through it to make it something meaningful and beautiful!!!"

"Hearing a man talk about relationships in this way gives me hope."

For relationships to work, having a comprehensive view of what love means and how you and your partner's "ecosystems" work together is super helpful. Love may not be simple or easy, but when you're dedicated to learning the skills to nurture it, you can go beyond just enjoying the pretty scenery and work to co-create something even more beautiful.

Watch the full Penn Badgley interview on Mighty Pursuit here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

From Your Site Articles
love
Love StoriesJoy
Trending Stories