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Parenting

Psychologist shares 15-second trick to make kids of any age less rude and more cooperative

All it takes is a single question.

via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash

This trick can fix any attitude.

Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone. Dr. Becky got into psychology after struggling with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”

parents, children, child, parenting, trick, communicationA mom and son talk on the couch.Canva Photos

The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

@drbeckyatgoodinside

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” one parent wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” another added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

family, parents, kids, parenting, bondingA happy family.Canva Photos

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

8 life hacks that are so simple and effective it's surprising more people don't use them

From how to willingly get a cat in a carrier to handling annoying drivers, here are some solid life tips.

Photo by RDNE Stock project/Pexels

There are more creative ways to handle annoying drivers than flipping them the bird.

Have you ever come across a piece of advice that seem so obvious and awesome in hindsight that you can't believe you didn't think of it before?

"Life hacks" has become a bit of a buzz phrase in recent years, but there really are some habits and practices, often requiring minimum time and effort, that can be life-changing. Someone on Reddit asked people to share some of those "simple and effective" life hacks that people surprisingly don't know about or use, and the responses are a trove of "Oh, that's brilliant" tidbits of wisdom.

Here are some of the top tips:

How to get a cat to be comfortable in the cat carrier

Some cats don't mind the pet carrier, but a lot of cats act like it's made of lava.

"Leave the cat carrier out and open all the time. Then they don't panic when you get it out to go to the vet." – Mistie_Kraken

"That's a fantastic tip for reducing stress during vet visits! Keeping the cat carrier out and open as part of their environment helps them become familiar with it, making it less scary when it's time to use it. It's a simple adjustment that can make a big difference in your cat's overall well-being." – designsbymtj

"There’s probably still some anxiety inducing unfamiliar smells and sounds at the vet and also in the car. But at least he seems to like his carrier, that’s one stressor reduced." – twilightramblings


kitchen sink

Pipes can get funky when they haven't been flushed in a while.

Photo by Andrew Valdivia on Unsplash

A quick and easy sink pipe swipe

Stinky pipes? A little regular maintenance of hot water and gravity can take care of it.

"Every now and then, maybe once a week, fill up your kitchen sink(s) completely full of water, then pull the plug and let the water go down the drain in a big rush. The force of the water pushes out a lot of the slimy crud that has gathered in the pipes. No more clogged sinks." – PaulsRedditUsername

"Use almost boiling water to cut any grease in there as well!" – sunshinesmileyface

"I had a strange smell coming from my kitchen sink but fixed it by boiling some water and then pouring it down my sink." – dirtymoney

"Even better, first pour some vinegar down the drain. Then 10 or so minutes later let the sink fill up with hot water. (as hot as you can make it) And let that drain. Gets rid of even more slimy crud!" – Sanquinity

Write down those fleeting moments of potential brilliance

We always think we're going to remember, but we always, always forget.

"Always write down momentarily good ideas. Don’t lean on your memory." – bunny_shortcake

"And in complete sentences! Don't write "fridge pants," write out the whole thought like a stranger needs to understand it." – NeuHundred

"Yep. I shower before going to bed and I get some good ideas then. After the shower I write the idea down on a pad of paper that I keep at my desk just for ideas." – tc_cad

"Keep a journal near your bed. I've gotten AMAZING ideas in dreams. No, you won't remember when the alarm goes off, spend two minutes jotting down details at 2 am. Trust me." – Conscious-Shock7728

Be as kind and courteous as possible to customer service people

A little kindness can go a long way.

"Being genuinely nice to a customer service person (hotel, phone center, server, whatever) will get you way more free stuff then the people who yell and escalate for it. I had gig speed internet for a year for $20 a month because I asked the guy with genuine sencerity how his day was while dealing with an issue I should have been mad about. (He told me at the end of the call that he updated my internet package and to not question the bill next month)

Sometimes, you get nothing free out of it. But customer service people get yelled at all the time. They recognize people being jerks for free stuff. What they don't see often is kindness in a difficult situation.

Be genuine and out of your way kind, and the amount of free stuff you will get will surprise you." – mybossthinksimmormon

"Can confirm. Am customer service. Terms & agreements are the law of the land for assholes. Nice people? Wavy, gravy with those rules & what can I throw in for cheap or free." – bagolaburgernesss

"I worked in a high end hotel for the better part of my early twenties to early 30s. I couldn't tell you how many upgrades and free shit I gave to guests that were just decent to my staff and I. Literally for just not being jerks. Suite? You got it. Free room service? Absolutely. Comp Concert Tickets? I got you." – NotYourGoldStandard

closeup image of a shower head

Vinegar is the key to a clogged shower head.

Photo by Caleb Wright on Unsplash

Clogged or covered in minerals? Soak that sucker in vinegar.

It's incredible how much vinegar can do.

"People throwing out shower heads because the stream gets weak. Soak that shit in vinegar for 24 hours and you’ll have a brand new shower that will be as powerful as the day you bought it.

Edit: white or cooking vinegar. If you can’t remove the shower head, plastic bag and rubber bands." – Trytolearneverything

"Honestly, cleaning anything with vinegar is a huge life hack. It’s non-toxic, cleans really well, disinfects, keeps bugs away and can kill your weeds without poisoning the soil/ground water. It’s also a fabulous fabric softener and is great in the dishwasher too.

Editing to add that cleaning vinegar is better than cooking vinegar for these things as it’s more concentrated but both will do the trick. :)" – girl_in_flannel

Make it near impossible to forget something on the way out the door

Pair what you need to remember with something you know you can't forget.

"If you need to remember to take something with you the next day, put it in a bag and hang it on your doorknob the night before. If it's paperwork or mail, tape it to your door to where it's covering the handle. Usually if it's left on a kitchen counter or a side table or something like that, it will be forgotten if you're one of those get-out-the-door-at-the-last-minute the last minute type of people (like myself)." – goodmeowtoyou

"If I have something I have to take (from home/work whatever) I literally put my keys in the bag. Physically can't leave without touching the bag." – SerpensPorcus

"Or put it on top of your shoes if you keep your shoes by the door you go out.." – somercurial

Read the instructions. Seriously.

Sounds simple enough, but there are a lot of people who simply refuse.

"Read. Manuals, directions, instructions, etc. Most of your questions will be answered." – tabitharr

"I used to joke about this when I sold electronics. 'Real men don't read instructions....they come to me to tell them how the magic device works....'" – OddgitII

"I stick the manuals in a file folder in case I need to refer to it later. Plus if I sell the item it’s nice to have it to pass on." – kindlycloud88

"Once bought a $50 carbon monoxide detector. Took it out of the box, put the batteries in, lights turned on on the front: there was a funny looking little tab on the back, and impulsively, I depressed the tab.

Lights turned off, and did not turn back on.

Huh.

I read through the directions. That tab was the 'kill carbon monoxide detector completely and permanently' button, for when it’s useful life is over and it won’t stop emitting “I’m dying” chirps.

Felt like a massive dumbass." – spooky_spaghetties


Man in a van smiling and giving a thumbs up sign

Thumbs up, buddy!

Photo by RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Alternative 'hand signals' that work better than the bird

No need to fuel anyone's road rage. If you have a twitchy middle finger, try these alternatives.

"Instead of flipping people off while driving, give them a thumbs down. Flipping them off makes them defensive and angry. A thumbs down makes them feel stupid." – dragon0069

"Oh, my God. A few months back I was at a stop sign, trying to turn left. It sucked because it's one of those roads where you have to continuously look in each direction due to bends and hedges blocking the view. After some back and forth I finally thought I was in the clear. Right as I pull up a little more, this guy comes barreling down the hill GIVING ME A THUMBS DOWN. I will never forget it. I didn't feel stupid but like such a let down lmao I'd rather get the finger, laying on a horn or someone yelling at me. Literally anything else. It will haunt me forever. I'm still sorry about it!!" – popperboo

"I actually go the passive aggressive route & give a thumbs up 😂" – gallad00rn

"Or, if they are really annoying and want to provoke you, just smile at them and give them a friendly wave (and laugh as you watch them get even angrier)." – islandhopper37

"Blow kisses. It really seems to make them annoyed." – Unique-Union-9177

"I’ve always done a queen wave with great success." – eastofliberty

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Community

Wondering what method keeps your Valentine's flowers lasting longer? One guy tried them all.

Some definitely worked better than others.

Representative image from Canva

Because who doesn't want to preserve the natural beauty of a bouquet for as long as possible?

With Valentine’s having just passed, many of us might be looking at beautiful bouquets bestowed by our sweethearts and wondering how to keep them fresh for as long as possible (the flowers, that is, but maybe your beau as well).

If the thought of experimenting with a ton of home remedies found online sounds exhausting, you’re in luck! Someone decided to test a whole handful of them to see which worked best for perfectly preserved petals.

In a 7-minute clip posted to TikTok, life-hack enthusiast and former circus clown “The Gooch” made his own little science project using multiple roses placed in vases of water, each with a different variable: a blend of sugar and bleach, Red Bull, pennies, popcorn kernels, 7 Up, alkaline batteries, denture tablets, aspirin and, naturally, the florist-provided flower food packet, which itself contains some kind of sugar, citric acid and biocide, such as bleach.

Some of these ingredients, like the sugar bleach, came at the recommendation of The Gooch’s “florist friend.” Others, like the alkaline batteries, were simply pulled from the almighty internet.

The Gooch let the roses sit for 7 days, each flower covered by a cylinder made of colored construction paper, before he gave the big reveal.

The results of the first couple of roses—the ones given Aspirin and 7 Up—wasn’t anything to write home about. In fact, The Gooch remarked that the 7 Up rose looked “sad.”

From there, the experiment had both unexpected losers, like the expert recommended sugar-bleach solution, and some surprising winners, like the denture tab solution which actually proved to be “ pretty amazing.”

One of the biggest surprises of all came from the alkaline batteries, which did keep the rose remarkably fresh, even if it made the water look like it came from a sewer.

In the end, the best result came from tablets, popcorn kernels, batteries, flower food and pennies, with the latter two being the best solutions overall.

@the_gooch Tasting what keeps flowers fresh longer #flowers #experiment #valentines #valentinesday #valentine #roses #fyp #foryou #foryourpage #longervideos #longvideo #longvideos #tipsandtricks ♬ original sound - The Gooch

After The Gooch’s video went viral, amassing nearly 22 million views, others began offering their own flower preserving tips.

“I do flower food, copper pennies (b4 1983) and ice cubes in the water. Replace water weekly. Flowers will last for 3-4 weeks,” one person wrote.

Another added, “when I was in school we were taught to cut our roses under water so that an air bubble isn’t created in the stem.”

Still, one florist noted that the real key is far more simple.

“The most impactful thing is to change the water every day (I’m a florist) — flower food has food (sugar) and a little bleach too to try and minimize bacteria, but clean water is the most helpful!” they wrote.

Adding onto that, the website Green Fresh Florals recommends to continue trimming the bouquets’ stems every few days, removing any leaves that would sit below the water line and not only changing of the water every couple of days, but putting the stems in warm water than slowly transitioning to cool water to prolong vibrancy.

Or you could follow this viewer's advice, who joked, “[The] ultimate trick is to leave them on the rose bushes, it’s hands down the best method.”

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Joy

‘I got shamed by a credit card machine’: Exasperated woman can't handle tipping culture

Now, the credit machines are harassing people.

via breathe_strength/TikTok and Krampus Production/Pexels

Charlotte Muller can't believe she was shamed.

Over the past few years, tipping culture has gotten out of control in America. It used to be you tipped around 15% to 20% if you sat down and ate at a restaurant. Now, the credit card machine prompts people to leave a tip when buying a cup of coffee, slice of pizza or an ice cream cone.

Even exterminators are asking for tips these days.

Charlotte Muller (@breathe_strength on TikTok) shared a video recently where she claims that she was tip-shamed by a card reader while purchasing an overpriced smoothie. What made things worse was that the card reader asked her for a 20% tip. Now, the $10 smoothie becomes a $12 smoothie.

The video must have resonated with people because it has received over 1.7 million views in just two days.

@breathe_strength

HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE #tipping #tippingculture

“But I’m literally paying … top dollar for this smoothie, so I click, ‘No tip.’ Then an alert comes up on the credit card machine all in caps, it says, ‘BAD TIP.’ When I tell you, I stood there and waited for my smoothie, embarrassed. I literally got shamed from a credit card machine,” she shared.

Most people feel a little guilty when they don't tip, even when it's inappropriate to ask for one. But then for the card reader to add to that by shaming the customer is tipping culture run amok.

How about business owners pay their workers enough so their customers don’t have to subsidize them? That would solve a lot of point-of-sale embarrassment for people on both sides of the transaction.

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