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Server accepts huge tip from a 'creepy' man, making her coworker angry. Was she right?

"Don’t spill your business to others. Your money is your money."

servers, waitress, tips, customers, wine, restaurants, creeps
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A customer and a server at a restaurant.

A 27-year-old female server disagreed with a coworker over whether she should accept a large tip from a customer who flirted with her. This raised a good question: If someone wants to give you a large tip, should the reason why matter? Even if it’s because the man thought she was “pretty”?

After all, if a man is throwing around his money, he has to have some hope that she’ll be impressed enough to go out with him or that she’d be willing to make another financial arrangement. But in the same scenario, he also runs the considerable risk that the woman will pocket the cash and have nothing to do with him, which is what she did.

The woman shared her story on Reddit to see if commenters thought she was in the wrong for accepting the large tip. “I (27f) am a waitress. Friday night, I served this table. It was a middle-aged woman and a very handsome middle-aged man. A guy I would have gone out with if he wasn't so creepy. He had made sure to mention that the woman he was dining with was his sister. After the meal, he gave me a $500 (US dollar) tip,” the woman wrote.

tip, bill, restaurant, server, waitress, bill, gratuityA credit card and a bill.via Canva/Photos

“The tip was almost twice the price of the meal,” she continued. “He told me the tip was because I was so pretty. After work, I told a fellow waitress (32f), and she was angry. She told me it was a stupid decision to accept that. She said I made it seem like behavior like that is acceptable by accepting it. I probably would never accept a tip like that under those circumstances again. Am I [in the wrong]?”

The good news for the server was that the commenters overwhelmingly supported her decision, but with a caveat. She should take this opportunity to learn that, in the future, she should be quiet about the money she makes at work, especially when talking to her coworkers.

“It’s not like you asked for the big tip or agreed to do anything for it. If he’s wealthy and wants to leave a big tip, all the better for you. You did nothing wrong here,” the most popular commenter wrote. Other commenters felt that the coworker was simply jealous.

server, waitress, restaurant, tip, service, smile, brunette womanA smiling server.via Canva/Photos

“As a former server, [you’re not wrong]. This was never about her principles; it was about her being upset you got a huge tip and she didn't. Your fellow servers care about their money, so you don't need to tell them about yours. Bragging about your huge tips is a good way to make enemies or get robbed after work when one of the shady ones sends a text to their friend or partner and has them waiting by your car outside," the commenter wrote. "Never talk about how much you made in tips. No one needs that information but you, the IRS, and your boss. I guarantee she would have kept the tip herself if she had been the one serving him.”

When talking about tips at work, many commentators said keep it to yourself because you’re only going to make people jealous, and in the worst-case scenario, jealous coworkers could put you in grave danger. “Don’t spill your business to others. Your money is your money,” a commenter wrote.

woman, laptop at night, popcorn, woman smiling laptop, late night snack, A woman eating popcorn while looking at her laptop.via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, most people are okay with the server accepting the large tip because nothing was attached to it. She was free to pursue a relationship with the man and chose not to, which was smart because he seemed like a creep. For the rest of us, the story is also a great reminder to keep your business to yourself. There isn’t much to gain from discussing your money with coworkers.

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Culture

Psychology reveals surprising personality traits of people who still write grocery lists by hand

Could this really be relevant? Yes.

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Phone or handwritten? The great debate ensues.

Are you the type of person who always writes grocery lists by hand? Perhaps on the back of a receipt, in a special notebook, or on an index card? Do you insist on this method, even though you’re the only one in the store unfurling paper like an ancient scroll while everyone has their heads down, tapping away at their phones?

Lists are undoubtedly important. In a recent poll, research revealed that the average British adult writes an average of three to-do lists a week—which, in some cases, can add up to 9,766 lists in a lifetime. “Evidently, we all rely on lists for one aspect of life or another,” commented Shahbaz Khan from STABILO, a high-quality pen and pencil company.

But when it comes to the actual list-making, does the method in which you create it really matter? Apparently, yes. And your choice, handwritten or digital, can say a lot about your personality.


grocery list, grocery, lists, handwritten, handwritingPeople who write their lists by hand might be able to remember them better.Photo credit: Canva

If you prefer handwriting, you’re likely…

To have a mind that operates like a filing cabinet.

In 2024, two professors at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, Dr. Audrey L.H. Van der Meer and F.R. (Ruud) Van der Weel, found that handwriting activates more elaborate and widespread brain connectivity patterns compared to typing. They suggest that the physical act of moving your hand while writing creates spatial and temporal patterns in the brain that promote learning.

In a similar study, Japanese researchers found that participants who wrote calendar events by hand on paper showed increased brain activity—particularly in memory regions—compared to those who recorded the same information on smartphones. The hand writers also recalled the information 25% faster than those who typed. Writing by hand triggers extra neural activity in regions tied to learning and memory. So, no matter how messy your handwriting might be, that grocery list might also be giving your memory a little work-out.

via GIPHY

To be naturally conscientious and understand the secret to success.

Conscientiousness isn't the same as self-control or self-restraint—rather, it refers to a person's tendency to be organized, reliable, goal-directed, and self-disciplined. It's no surprise, then, that those who score highly in conscientiousness tend to be successful: they aim for high-profile outcomes and have the ability to develop well-thought-out plans to accomplish their goals.

Comfortable getting tactile.

Nothing quite compares to writing with your perfect pen. (By the way, what's yours? A Pilot G2-2? Uni-ball Vision Elite? Or perhaps something fancy, like the Squire Classic Pen from Baronfig?) It's a complete sensory experience as your pen glides across paper. This physical connection helps create a deeper engagement with the task at hand.

woman, child, grocery, shopping, listWriting your list by hand could curb impulse shopping. Photo credit: Canva

To not buy on impulse.

Yanliu Huang and Zhen Yang from the LeBow College of Business at Drexel University examined how handwritten shopping lists differ from digital ones. Their research showed that people who write lists on paper tend to make more planned purchases and fewer impulse buys.

However, there are a few downsides to a handwritten grocery list…

Let's face it: sometimes you can't read your own handwriting. When rushing, you might scribble illegibly, forget items, or leave the paper at home entirely. (Pro tip for forgetful hand-writers: snap a photo of your list before heading out, just in case.)

Paper lists are also cumbersome to update on the go. Picture this—you've just remembered you need onions while backing out of the driveway, but now you're scrambling for a pen. Don't do this. Plus, paper lists make it difficult to coordinate shopping with other people.


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If you’re #DigitalForever, you’re likely…

In a poll of 2,000 people in the United Kingdom, researchers found that when it comes to list-making, only 40% use their phones, while 63% write on notepads and 24% use sticky notes. So congrats—you're right in the middle!

Extremely efficient and organized.

Your phone is a miracle list-maker: people who use digital lists value practicality over sentimentality—they appreciate the power of automatic sorting, expense tracking, and integrated coupon features. These lists can be updated instantly and accessed from almost any device, making them the most efficient, streamlined option.

Someone who uses data to make decisions.

Beyond expense tracking, many apps provide nutritional data, meal planning suggestions, and inventory management—helping you make smarter, healthier food choices. You're not just shopping anymore; you're strategically planning your nutrition.

groceries, grocery shopping, produce, lists, shopping, nutritionDigital lists are perfect for collaborations. Photo credit: Canva

Collaborating with someone in the kitchen.

The beauty of a digital list is that it can be shared with others in real time, allowing multiple people to add items seamlessly. This eliminates miscommunications and duplicate purchases while reducing paper waste and promoting environmentally friendly habits.

The digital life has its downsides, too…

Taking a break from your phone can be refreshing, but keeping your grocery list there means more screen time—potentially leading to digital fatigue or distractions from notifications and other apps. There's also the practical concern: what if your phone dies, you lose Internet connection, or your service drops out while shopping?

Grocery shopping can be such a treat. Whether you use digital lists, handwritten scribbles, or memory tricks to track what you need, there's no wrong approach. The “best” way to write a grocery list depends on you: your personal preferences, your lifestyle, and what works for your routine. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel the most organized and calm?” Then let your grocery list lead the way.


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Education

UPS driver's tongue-in-cheek 'homeowner advice' is actually super important

So many homeowners need to hear this.

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Several emergency responders chimed in to agree.

A UPS worker might have been joking when he offered his “best advice ever” for homeowners, but it’s actually something that should be taken seriously.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, the Arkansas-based driver (presumably named Austin), says:

“Listen carefully because it’s going to be the best decision you make when going about this. Whenever you paint your house, whenever you build your house, and you go to buy numbers at Lowe’s or Walmart, or wherever you go to get your numbers, one trick you need to know—you get any color besides the one that your house is.”

@austin_ups Best kept secret #homeowners #homes #ups #secrets #hacks #goodvibes #energy #fyp ♬ Spirit In The Sky - Deluxe Edition - Norman Greenbaum

Sure, having hard to read or even completely absent home numbers presents not only a frustrating problem for those who make deliveries, but it can also be detrimental in times of emergencies.

And if you don’t want to take Austin’s word for it, you can trust the several health care professionals and fellow drivers that agreed.

“Can’t believe the number of houses without a number on it AT ALL. Not on the curb, not on the house, not on the mailbox.”

“Delivery driver here. Make sure the numbers are larger than one inch on your mailbox. Especially if you live on a busy street and the speed limit is above 35mph. We can’t see those tiny numbers. Just sayin’.”

“Listen, as a home health nurse, make sure SOMETHING even has numbers we can see.”

“Our numbers are 9” tall. My husband is a paramedic. Ikyky.”

“As a first responder please make your house number visible for emergency services!!!”

“UPS, FedEx, Domino's and other delivery companies should all get together and make a serious but funny commercial about this very real issue.

Back in 2021, an Amazon worker made a similar PSA, warning a home she had delivered to that “my dude…it’s unsafe, honestly,” to not have visible numbers.

@_jesshuseman We just moved in and this happened today…she’s not wrong though. Guess I need to get some house numbers. #amazondelivery ♬ original sound - _jesshuseman

Generally speaking, high contrast levels (black numbers against a white painted house, for example) work best, as well as having the numbers high enough to see and be visible on the curb.

But Brick & Batten, an exterior design company, has a few other really helpful tips:

The further the house, the larger the numbers

Brick & Batten recommends 3” or larger for houses 0-69 feet away from the street, 4” or larger for houses 70-110 feet, 5” or larger for houses 111-132 feet, 6” or larger for houses 133-160 feet, 8” or larger for houses 161-300 feet, and 8” or larger for houses 301-385 feet, respectively.

Choose long-lasting material

Opt for powder-coated numbers, and pleeeeeeaase replace the old, tired, rusty ones already falling off.

Place numbers somewhere eye level or higher

And in a location free from obstructions like overgrown foliage or seasonal decorations.

Make it visible at night

Place them near a light source, or install one.

Jazz things up with a plaque

Just because they need to stand out, doesn’t mean it has to go against your house design. With a little attention to aesthetics, it can even become a bit of an accent piece.

Making sure house numbers are visible is probably not on the top of anyone’s mind, but it’s little details like this that can really come back to bite us one way or another. So let’s make our lives—and the lives of our delivery drivers—better by following these simple tips.

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Gen X has been designated the 'worst grandparents.' Sadly, their explanation makes sense.

The latch-key generation doesn't hate their family, they're burnt out.

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Gen X designated the 'worst grandparents' by Millennials

Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years, Gen Xers have been dubbed the "worst grandparents" by social media users.

This multi-year conversation started when a video went viral calling Gen X out for being "terrible" grandparents, claiming that they never want to help with grandchildren. It didn't take long before other Millennials piled on to air their own grievances about Gen X grandparents. Most people criticizing the "new grandparents" were genuinely perplexed as to how they did not want to be more involved in the lives of their grandchildren.

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen ZFamily baking fun in the kitchen.Photo credit: Canva

Kylie Muse reveals in a video that she felt neglected by her Gen X parents growing up, saying, "It's quite a common theme for Gen X parents to be neglectful in some capacity and it's just crazy to me how more of them haven't learned from the past 20 to 30 years, instead of these grandparents seeing their kids having kids as an opportunity to restore the health in their relationships with their kids by showing up and helping them during the hardest transition of their lives, they would rather double down and compromise their relationship with that next generation. All for the sake of hyper-individualism and pride."

@kylies.muse Gen x grandparents and their beloved empty nest 🥴 just say you hate having a family 😭 #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok ♬ original sound - Kylie ꩜

The critique coming from the younger generation is not lost on Gen X, and they started coming out in force to respond with such vigor you'd think John Hughes had just announced the re-release of The Breakfast Club. It would seem that some of the people complaining of the lack of involvement have not considered that Gen X could have valid reasons for not immediately jumping in to take on grandparenting in the way some expect. A man by the name of John S. Blake gives a candid look into why Gen X was neglected as children and, in turn, became hype-independent at an early age.

"As a Gen X who's been on this earth long enough to have some hindsight I can tell you this, being independent at a young age is not a flex, what it actually means is capitalism is so brutal that our parents were forced to neglect their own children to stay alive. My generation was struggling so much that we had to leave our children unattended in order to produce enough so that we could afford to exist," Blake says.

@blackfluidpoet Replying to @ellens0061 #foryoupage #homealone #fyp #foryou ♬ Slippin' - Re-Recorded - DMX

But perhaps one of the most heart wrenching explanations comes from an elder Millennial who goes by the name Amazing Dea. In response to another Millennial who asks about Gen X being let off the hook, Dea shares, "Being as though you look like you might be a younger Millennial, let me go ahead and enlighten you. Generation X and older Millennials had to live through more than just this pandemic. We had the crack epidemic, we had the AIDS epidemic and let me tell you something, it was scary as f***."

Dea went on to explain that there were apartment complexes burned due to high populations of people with AIDS living in them and how they would witness people go from being completely normal to being addicted to crack in a matter of weeks. It seems that depending on socioeconomic status, Gen Xers lived wildly different lives with the common theme being growing up entirely too fast at an extremely young age.

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen ZThree generations smiling by the sea.Photo credit: Canva

Another person kindly breaks down the confusion over why Gen X isn't rising to the occasion of being award-winning grandparents. In response to the criticism she replies, "We grew up in a different time, first of all. A lot of us, meaning me, Gen X, I was raised by boomers. A lot of us did not get raised by our grandparents. We were like the feral kids, like by 7 and 9 years old we were actually babysitting our brothers and sisters, alright."

The woman explains further in the video that Gen X doesn't want to raise their grandchildren or simply be babysitters, that there's a difference between expecting grandparents to be involved and expecting them to be babysitters.

@that1crazy72 Let’s take it a step further. You share DNA with your grandkids they are part of you not everyone gets the privilege of being a grandparent so if you are one take that as a blessing #genxgrandparents ♬ original sound - That1crazy72

In many of the response videos shared by Gen Xers, they certainly seem to love their grandchildren and children alike, but there's a discrepancy in expectation. The consensus of the forgotten generation seems to be that they had adult responsibilities much too early, were exposed to adult life experiences at a young age, and were often left to their own devices for long periods of time while also being told that their voices didn't matter.

While the argument seems to be around their lack of involvement as grandparents, they appear to be saying that they want to enjoy the freedom they didn't have as children, while being valued as a person and not a babysitter. In many follow up videos, Gen Xers gushed over their grandchildren and how they loved when they were around. It's just that they draw the line at raising them. Maybe for some, their experiences with their own childhood isn't enough to move Gen X out of the "worst grandparents" category, but for others it provides much needed context.

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Health

Motivation expert's two-word theory frees you from taking it personally when others let you down

You don't need to take responsibility for everyone.

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Mel Robbins giving a TEDx speech.

One of the most disappointing aspects of life is that, at some point, everyone close to you will eventually let you down or fall short of your expectations. Some have slip-ups and fall short of what you'd expect, and some consistently let you down your entire life.

It can be deflating when people don’t show up when you need them, especially if you have been there for them. When you need people and they don’t show up, it feels like you’re carrying a burden that you can never get off your back. That’s why Mel Robbins’ two-word “Let them” theory is so powerful. It liberates you from constantly feeling controlled by those who let you down.

What is the ‘Let them’ theory?

Mel Robbins is a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, former lawyer, and author of The Let Them Theory. In the TikTok video below, she explains how allowing people to be themselves gives you the power to improve the things you can control, instead of suffering in the same cycle of expectations and disappointments.

@melrobbins

People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @Audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory

The “Let them” practice begins by acknowledging that others are imperfect and we cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," she opens the video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."

mel robbins, motivation expert, mel robbins podcast, let them theory, microphoneMotivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo © Cody OLoughlin (PR Photo)

While it can be hard to admit that some of the most important people in your life will never turn things around to your satisfaction, accepting that reality is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. “But here's the important part,” Robbins continues. “Now that you know the 'Let them' theory, you get to choose what happens moving forward, because you're gonna focus on what you can control, which is what you say, what you do, what you value, and what energy you bring to the relationship.”

Put simply: Now that you allow them to be who they are, you can act accordingly. You can stop carrying the weight of unmet expectations.

What is the locus of control?

Robbins’ theory is a simple way of understanding the locus of control psychological concept. The locus of control is the extent to which we believe we have control over our own lives. When our actions, thoughts, and feelings are contingent on events (and people) outside of our control, we have an external locus of control. The healthy thing is to revert that to an internal locus of control, where we believe we control the outcomes of our actions. Those with an internal locus of control tend to be less influenced by others, work hard to get what they want, and report being happier, and more independent.

mel robbins, motivation expert, mel robbins podcast, let them theory, psychologyMotivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo via © Tony Luong (PR Photo)

“The only person you can change is you,” Robbins says at the end of her video. "When you say ‘Let them,’ you see your family exactly as they are, perhaps for the very first time in your life. They're human. You have no control over what's happened. You have no control over who they are. You can only control what you do from this point forward. Accepting the reality of your situation doesn't mean you're surrendering to it. Instead, it's about reclaiming your power to shape your future.”

Now that you’ve taken control of your future, what are you going to do with it?

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Parenting

Teachers share the tell-tale signs they know a parent truly cares about their kid

"When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens."

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Teachers share insights on the signs parents truly care about their kids.

Few people spend more time with kids than teachers. From the classroom to the playground, teachers have deep and intuitive insight into what their students' relationships are like with their parents, and many teachers can tell when parents are invested and truly care about their kids.

In a Reddit forum, member @allsfairinwar posed the question: "Teachers of Reddit: What are some small, subtle ways you can tell a child’s parent really cares about them?"

Teachers from all education levels shared their insight. From elementary teachers to high school teachers, these educators offered their firsthand experience with students that informed them about their relationship with parents at home. These are their most powerful observations.

art, kids art, child painting, kids art project, finger paintHit It Bang Bang GIF by Eddie & Laura Burton Realty GroupGiphy

"When the parent stops and actually looks at their kid's art/work/listens about their day before heading home. I know everyone gets busy but damn don't shove the art your kid is proud of right in their bag without first looking at it. We do the same piece of art for a week. They spent 2 hours on that, spare 2 minutes to show them their effort is worth something to you." —@Worldly_Might_3183

"When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens." —@homerbartbob

"When the parents are familiar with the child’s friends and talk to their child’s friends, I know they’re listening to their child talk about their day at school. Or when parents let slip that they got a full recap of something I said or that happened at school. I know they are having conversations with their child at home, and paying attention." —@Pinkrivrdolphn

minecraft, minecreaft gif, minecraft meme, minecraft kids, minecraft movieGames GIFGiphy

"When the kid is happy/quick to tell their parents about things. Not just serious or important things, but just random bullsh*t. Do I care about Minecraft? Not really. Do I care that my kid cares about Minecraft? Very much. Lay it on me kid. Spare no detail." —@IJourden

"They let their kids fail and experience natural consequences. Good parents are preparing their children to be adults, and part of that is learning responsibility and accountability. Let your kids make mistakes and learn from them!" —@oboe_you_didnt

"You can tell a lot about home life based on students behavior the week leading up to a break. If they are happy/excited/giddy/endearingly obnoxious I know they are going somewhere safe to someone who cares. The students who don’t have that are often increasingly anxious/angry/withdrawn/acting out." —@pulchritudinousprout

hug, greeting, hugs, greet, reunitedMonsters Inc Hug GIFGiphy

"The moment that a parent greets the child at the end of the day is very telling. Some parents clearly want to know all about their child's day and connect with them, some don't." —@Smug010

"When I make positive contact home and the parent speaks glowingly about their own kid. It’s great to hear." —@outtodryclt

"A few years back, I heard a parent ask their kid if they found someone to be kind to today. That made a real impact on me. Now I try to remind my own kids to 'find someone to be kind to' if I’m doing drop off and/or ask 'Who were you kind to today?' after school." —@AspiringFicWriter

"When a student asks for help, they actually need the help. They are not doing it just to get your attention."—@Typical_Importance65

cute kid, well groomed, kid hair, clean clothes, kid cared forDance Marathon Reaction GIF by Children's Miracle Network HospitalsGiphy

"It doesn’t always mean everything is perfect at home, but a child who is well-groomed is always a good sign. That doesn’t always mean the most fashionable clothes or perfect hair, just that the child is clean, their clothes are clean and appropriate for the weather. Also when a child knows how to celebrate their own wins and isn’t afraid of making a mistake or being wrong- that shows that their parents have modeled good emotional regulation." —@itscornelectric

"They get them services when they’re struggling. I work with kids with disabilities and the learning outcomes/experience of school (and by extension, the greater world) for kids who have their needs met is far different to those who don’t. The number of parents who respond to a teacher saying 'I think it might be worth John seeing an OT/a speech therapist/ getting his eyes checked' with something along the lines of 'f*ck you, what would you know?' Is astounding. The parents who make appointments, share information from specialists with the school, and are proactive about their children’s abilities or disabilities - their kids see such improvements." —@prison_industrial_co

"They ask thoughtful questions. Even something that seems routine to adults like, 'How is/was your day?' I'm in elementary, and it's appropriate for kids to talk mostly about themselves. Kids who ask thoughtful questions are doing so because it's consistently modeled. It's also not very common (again, age appropriate egocentrism) so it stands out." —@mundane-mondays

read, reading, kid reading, kids read, reading with kidsRead Book Club GIFGiphy

"When you know they're being exposed to reading at home. Maybe they can read at a higher level or they're mastering their sight words. For students with learning disabilities, the kids are trying their hardest to read, using context clues, using pictures and making up a story, or even making different voices for characters. When I was in a low functioning Autistic support room, this one little boy couldn't form words, but he made noises is different voices and used dramatic face expressions on each page to represent characters talking." —@Mediocre-Bee-9262

"Accountability. A good parent knows that their kids isn't perfect and if the kid does something wrong (like hitting or bullying other kids) they don't look for excuses, or for how the other kid provoked that behavior, but helps their kid understand why their behavior was hurtful." —@SadlyNotDannyDeVito

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