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seniors

Health

Doctor explains how to accurately predict your longevity with simple at-home test

Adults should aim for a score of 8 or above.

via Pexels

A woman sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat

Death: It's hard to talk about, and sadly, even harder to avoid. That's why everyone wants to know how long they will live and there are many indicators that can show whether someone is thriving or on the decline. But scientists have yet to develop a magic formula to determine exactly how long someone should expect to live. Which, let's be real, is probably a good thing. Knowing exactly how much time you have left to enjoy your life could cause a lot of anxiety, to say the very least.

However, a doctor recently featured on the "Today" show says a straightforward test can reveal the likelihood that someone aged 51 to 80 will die in the near future. NBC News medical contributor Dr. Natalie Azar was on the "Today" show on March 8 and demonstrated how to perform the simple “sit to stand test” (aka sit-rising test or SRT) that can help determine the longevity of someone between 51 to 80.

The test is pretty simple. Go from standing to sitting cross-legged, and then go back to standing without using any parts of your body besides your legs and core to help you get up and down. The test measures multiple longevity factors, including heart health, balance, agility, core and leg strength and flexibility.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

You begin the test with a score of 10 and subtract points on your way up and down for doing the following:

Hand used for support: -1 point

Knee used for support: -1 point

Forearm used for support: -1 point

One hand on knee or thigh: -1 point

Side of leg used for support: -1 point

— (@)

A 2012 study published by the European Society of Cardiology found a correlation between the SRT score and how long people live.

The study was conducted on 2002 people, 68% of whom were men, who performed the SRT test and were followed by researchers in the coming years. The study found that “Musculoskeletal fitness, as assessed by SRT, was a significant predictor of mortality in 51–80-year-old subjects.”

Those who scored in the lowest range, 0 to 3, had up to a 6 times greater chance of dying than those in the highest scores (8 to 10). About 40% of those in the 0 to 3 range died within 11 years of the study.

aging, seniors, senior fitness, senior citizens, older adults, longevity, health, death, dying No matter what age you are, adding regular exercise to your life will reap a ton of benefits.Canva Photos

Azar distilled the study on "Today," saying: "The study found that the lower the score, you were seven times more likely to die in the next six years.”

"Eight points or higher is what you want," Azar said. "As we get older, we spend time talking cardiovascular health and aerobic fitness, but balance, flexibility and agility are also really important," she stressed. A score of eight or nine means you're allowed to roll forward onto your knees and then rise, which a lot of people will find more comfortable. If you can rise that way, you're still in a pretty good spot health wise.

One should note that the people who scored lowest on the test were the oldest, giving them a naturally elevated risk of death.

Dr. Greg Hartley, Board Certified Geriatric Clinical Specialist and associate professor at the University of Miami, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that we should take the study with a grain of salt. “Frailty, strength, muscle mass, physical performance—those things are all correlated to mortality, but I would caution everybody that correlation doesn’t mean causation,” he said.

And of course, the test doesn't take into account injuries or disabilities that may make doing the test impossible. But one of the study's authors says that the study is a call to take our mobility seriously.

“The more active we are the better we can accommodate stressors, the more likely we are to handle something bad that happens down the road,” Dr. Claudio Gil Araujo, told USA Today.

What should you do if you can't manage a good score on the SRT? First of all, don't panic! It's never too late to improve your overall health, fitness, and strength, so regular exercise is a great thing to incorporate if you're not already doing it.

seniors, longevity, physical fitness, exercise, health, aging Even low-impact exercise like yoga can increase your mobility and flexibility and, thus, your SRT scoreCanva Photos

A couple of specific skills that will help are boosting your ankle flexibility, hip mobility, and core strength. Trainers recommend incorporating squats, lunges, and planks into your regular routine. Just using your own bodyweight is plenty to get started, though if you're up for incorporating any added loads, the strength training will do wonders for your bone density, as well.

But remember that the SRT is just a measure of strength and mobility, which could correlate to an older person's likelihood of suffering from a fatal fall. It doesn't do anything to measure your cardiovascular help (vitally important especially in older people), for example. And it may not even be the most reliable longevity test out there. It has been criticized for it's extremely unnatural range of motion, for starters — rising by pushing up on the sides of our ankles with our knees pointed outward is certainly not representative of a real-life situation. Some doctors insist that your comfortable walking speed is a better indicator of health and longevity, while others say grip strength is the key measurement.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

longevity

Wellness

Hospice nurse reveals the exact time most people die and the reasons why are fascinating

It's called the "letting go hour"

Canva Photos

There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlife Learning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie
Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles

death

Modern Families

Older people get real about what it's like to move into a retirement community

"Do your homework before taking the plunge."

Image via Canva

Old people discuss what moving into a retirement community is really like.

Moving into a retirement community is a big life transition for many senior citizens. Making the choice to downsize and move into a retirement home is not an easy one that can come with many unknowns.

In an Reddit forum, member @common_grounder posed the question: "Anyone who's downsized and moved into a retirement community, what's the adjustment been like for you?"

They continued, "Has it been hard giving up your former life and belongings? Is a more simplified existence comforting to you? Has being around lots of people who are also old been a net positive or net negative?"

Older people who have made the transition into a retirement community shared their real and honest experiences for those considering making the move. These are 16 of their most informative and impactful responses:

retirement home, retirement community, retirement living, assisted living, old people The Villages Dancing GIF by Magnolia Pictures Giphy

"I've been in an Independent Living Community for 2 years. I was having some health issues and I needed a place that had on duty staff. I downsized twice. My wife and I downsized from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Apartment. My wife developed Vascular Dementia the year before the Pandemic. Eventually she went into hospice and after my 3rd hip surgery in 18 months I moved into Independent Living. My 1st year here my bride of 39 years past on from complications of the Vascular Dementia. When I first got here I participated with some of the outing and events. We get 2 meals a day and I used to do dinner with the same group daily. The Presidential election changed that. I loved the people I sat with. However I was crushed that so many of my older peers voted against their interests. I just turned 70 on D-Day. On the average I'm a "youngster" here. Before the election I constantly helped residents conquer their smartphones be it iphone or Android. Now I order lunch and dinner for me to pick up and eat alone in my apartment. I only venture out now for Dr's appointments and the occasional family outing . I guess more than any thing I miss my bride of 39 years, 44 together. I'm looking forward that my 29 year old son is getting married in August to a wonderful woman and their future looks bright. I'm grateful technology allows me to talk, text and facetime people I care about. At my age, I don't have many long time friends still on this plane of existence. Even when I downsized to this one bedroom Apartment I still have too much stuff including Heirloom China in my living room for my son that been here 2 years. Oh I almost forgot. We have a happy hour on Wednesday afternoon. I always go and get a vodka tonic and finger food. I was told by my parents to never drink alone. Do that one drink a week is me not drinking alone." —@sapotts61

"I live in a retirement community and I like it a lot. No exterior maintenance, lots of activities and amenities. Beautifully landscaped grounds and great views from my home. Being around similarly aged people is nice too. I really can’t think of a negative. But the quality of the communities vary. Do your homework before taking the plunge." —@Entire-Garage-1902

"My wife and I did it 11 years ago. We sold our 4 bedroom 3 bath 2 story house and moved into a 2 bedroom 2 bath single level house in a 55 and better community. It’s been terrific! We have a resort like pool next to the clubhouse and gym. There are tennis and pickle ball courts, gas grills, a big charcoal grill, sauna and spa. It’s a quiet, safe, well kept neighborhood with friendly neighbors." —@8amteetime

downsizing, retirement community, retirement home, moving out, downsize GIF by Stellify Media Giphy

"One month into assisted living. I think it’s going to be fine. Just another life transition like college, being on my own, getting married, having kids, building a career, moving into a bigger showplace house, etc. Just in reverse - everything getting smaller and simpler. Downsizing has been very challenging, getting rid of so many objects that still mean something to us, but won’t mean anything to our kids, and there’s not enough space in our 950 sq ft apartment. Having the staff do all the cooking - food has been quite good! - cleaning, and managing my medications, has certainly simplified our lives. And freed up time for my wife to do things she chooses, not just things she must. Moved to a different state where we knew no one, except our sons and their families, so we’re meeting a lot of new people. Haven’t really clicked with anyone yet, but have a half dozen people we can join for meals in the dining room. Yeah, adjustment is going fine." —@dnhs47

"I (64M) wasn’t ready for it and my wife and I are moving out. I miss seeing kids and families." —@MacDaddy654321

"It's a very difficult thing. It sounds simple, correct. But it's what you make of it in your new life. I used to do warranty work for brand new modular homes. Many are doing just that...downsizing. While working, you wind up chatting with many. The stories would run the whole gamut, from ecstatic to downright miserable. My takeaway if you can afford it was maybe try a couple of years' lease/rent before committing. Sit on any s to get a feel for it first. It was quite heart-wrenching at times. Should have, could have. There's mental factors to think of. Your circle of friends may change. Someone other than you could be in charge of your property. Suddenly, there's not a whole lot you can use those tools on anymore, etc. It's a tough thing to do." —@xgrader

elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, old woman Old Lady Fight GIF by BDHCollective Giphy

"We are UPSIZING when move to a retirement community." —@FootHikerUtah

"We upsized into a 55+ community. Sometimes I miss the age diversity with neighbors but my husband and I are 64, pretty active with previously established friendships, part time jobs, and our family. We like that there is a clubhouse with book clubs, game nights, community dinners and a lovely swimming pool. I feel like it’s a home where we can age in place for as long as possible." —@Competitive-Ice2956

"I am almost 70. I have downsized hugely. I lived in a retirement community for 4 years from 61 to 65 I hated it!" —@Direct_Ad2289

"We’ve been in an over 55 community 8 yrs. I love my little house, all on one floor, lots of storage. It’s a bit lonely when our snow bird neighbors go home for the summer, but the grocery store is less crowded. We’ve had several neighbors die recently, but that’s why they call this Gods waiting room. It’s also worrisome to see neighbors having physical or dementia like issues. We aren’t into the pool scene or golf, but we love the indoor walking track. The entertainment shows are a hassle, gotta get those tickets months in advance. We tried a few day long bus trips but their prices are way too high now. Our community is over 40 yrs old and pre 2020 we had thriving crafts, cards, wood, metal, auto, photo clubs….people in charge of those kind of drifted away during the lockdown and a lot of knowledge and organizational skills to run those programs were lost. It’s very quiet here, most neighbors keep their homes very tidy. I’m in a single family home, I have yearly membership dues but no HOA…those are running around $300 a month. We have a great Facebook page that helps us all stay connected and compare notes. All in all I have zero qualms about leaving my old life." —@Adrift715

"2/2 1400 sq ft villa. It was hard deciding what to keep and what to get rid of at first, but in the end, it was liberating. I love the fact that we can just lock the door and leave without having to worry about outside maintenance." —@RowdyRumRunner

over 55, over 55 community, retirement, retirement community, retirement home homer simpson episode 10 GIF Giphy

"I’m in a 55 and over community. It’s a very active community, dances at least 2 per month, bingo on Sunday, movies on Thursday, exercise classes at least 3 per day including yoga, karaoke, cards, swimming…I could go on but you get the drift. No obligation to attend any of the activities but they are available. No meals, this is independent living. I’m really happy here, best choice I made after selling my house. Downside for some is living with rules, some people don’t like picking up after their dogs or speed limits or whatever, my place isn’t super controlling but any rules are too much for some people." —@Kitchen-Fee-5114

"I like it, being on my own I didn’t want a house with all the maintenance. I have a small apartment so I had to get rid of a lot of stuff, that can be hard but I did it. Where I live there is a lot of activities if you are interested, but it’s independent living and some people like that and some don’t. I have made friends, play cards and always have something to do if I’m bored. One of the things you don’t think of is that you meet people and then they die. That is something that can be hard to deal with." —@Birdy304

aging, aging well, happy aging, getting old, old people Aging Golden Girls GIF by All Better Giphy

"I upsized when I moved to a retirement community - my Manhattan apartment was 440 square feet, and my car was in a garage two miles away. Here in Connecticut, I've got 1500 square feet plus a basement and garage. I've got more stuff than ever." —@vinyl1earthlink

"We downsized from our home we lived in for 35 years to a tiny home (399 sq ft) three years ago. While the community is not age restricted, 95% of the people are retired and at least 65. We live on a lake so I get to fish as much as I want. Wife enjoys a bunch of activities such as water aerobics, arts and crafts and dancing. We travel the park in a golf cart. It’s takes minutes to get from one activity to the next. Overall we love it." —@Dicedlr711vegas

This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles

retirement community

Culture

17 strong opinions the baby boomers actually got right, according to younger generations

Not everything needs to be a touchscreen.

via Christian Buehner/Unsplash

Baby boomers didn't get everything wrong.

In recent years, baby boomers have often been the target of criticism from younger generations (by now you've definitely heard the dismissive OK, boomer catchphrase). The most common accusations are that boomers are selfish and don’t care about leaving ample resources (whether financial or environmental) to subsequent generations. They also come under fire for not being able to acknowledge that it was easier for people of their generation to come of age when things were more affordable and life was a lot less competitive.

However, we should also understand that many of today’s problems are not the boomers’ doing, especially when it comes to the issues that stem from entitled children and technology run amok. In hindsight, there’s something to be said about the importance boomers placed on self-reliance, letting kids be kids, and having a healthy skepticism towards technology.

In other words, the baby boomers were right! Well, about some things, anyway. In the end, each generation contributes to the tapestry of society in its unique way, whether good or bad, even baby boomers.

This became evident after a Reddit user asked the AskReddit subforum: ‘What is something you can say ‘I'm with the boomers on this one’ about?”

Over 4,700 people responded to the prompt, and the most prevalent problems mentioned by the younger generations were over-reliance on technology, the modern world’s lack of human touch, and how Gen Xers and millennials have raised their children.

Here are 17 things that younger people are “with the boomers” about.

1. Public filming

Public filming has, unquestionably, become a problem. From shaming random folks in the gym to humiliating people dancing at concerts (not to mention catching cheaters), fear of being filmed without your knowledge or consent in public is a real thing people suffer from. The boomers were definitely wise to be wary of cell phone cameras!

"Just because I’m in public doesn’t mean I want to be filmed. Yeah, I know legally you can, but common courtesy people." — Jayne_of_Canton

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture Filming in public Giphy

2. Customer service

In the age of AI chatbots that are, more often than not, completely useless — I think we can all agree with this one:

"I want to talk to a person in customer service, not a machine." — lumpy_space_queenie

"And also a person that actually works at the company I bought the product from, not a teenager at an outsourced call center with a script to follow and who answers calls for 15 different companies on the same day." — Loive.

3. Turn up the dialog

"For the love of all that is holy, can we fix the audio in movies so that the music and sound FX aren’t drowning out the dialogue?" — Caloso

"And the action sequences don’t burst your eardrums or the dialogue is whispers." — Whynottry-again

Younger generations are on board with this, too. They're all about subtitles, all the time.

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture Dialogue is too quiet in movies Giphy

4. Bring back buttons

"No, I don't need everything in my car to be electronic. Some stuff needs buttons." — LamborghiniHEAT

"This was the big thing for me in my last car - trying to adjust volume or change songs while driving is way more dangerous when it’s all touch screen. Thankfully my current car has physical knobs for everything." — GeekdomCentral

This is another one where the boomers were right all along. Car manufacturers are even listening and making a big push to bring back physical buttons.

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture Bring back physical buttons Giphy

5. App overload

"Every store/service does not need an app." — BigDigger324

"I was standing at a car rental counter at an airport (boomer here) to rent a car. My daughter’s car broke down on the way to pick me up. While standing at the counter, with a customer service rep right there and not busy, I had to log in to their site, create an account, and reserve a car. It seemed ridiculous and it took a long time, filling in my license information and all that. This was last September." — Cleanslate

Yep, the boomers were definitely right here. The more apps you have on your phone, the more likely some obscure security vulnerability will end up with your data getting leaked.

6. Bring back DIY

"Learning DIY skills is crucial. I had basically zero DIY skills when I bought my house because I had lived in apartments for so long and I've had to learn a lot. YouTube tutorials are absolutely clutch." — JingleJongleBongle

7. Turn off the speakerphone

"I hated this when I worked at Walmart. So many of my coworkers would talk on speaker or watch TikTok at full volume. It's just trashy imo, nobody wants to hear your media." — WhiteGuy1x

"I work at an emergency medical office and holy sh*t the amount of people that sit in a quiet, peaceful lobby and just have the LOUDEST conversations on their phone…. Speaker or otherwise. Not to mention the people that still watch sh*t without headphones. Like do you not see the plethora of other people around you that you’re disturbing?" — Cinderpuppins

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture No one wants to hear your phone conversation in public Giphy

8. Ban QR code menus

"I think menus should be tangible." — Limp-Management9684

"QR codes kill the vibe. We’re all on our phones constantly throughout the day and then when you go to spend some quality time with someone, it’s another excuse to whip out the phone and stare at it. There’s an intimacy to a physical menu. You’re looking at what the other person is reading, you’re each pointing to parts of the menu. You’re noticing the lighting of the restaurant. QR codes feel chintzy and kill the ambiance completely." — VapeDerp420

We get it, these are for sure a byproduct of the COVID-19 pandemic. But it's beyond time to bring back the bulky, laminated menus we all know and love.

9. Stop subscriptions

"When I was your age, you only had to pay for a video game once to own it." — CattonCruthby

Can you imagine a world where you could just buy Microsoft Word and not get charged every year for it? Yeah, that world used to exist. Even some cars are charging drivers subscriptions to "activate" certain features. Seriously.

10. Free the children

"A kid in 2024 should have the same freedom to exist unsupervised and move about their community independently as a boomer did growing up." — PixelatedFish

"The world is safer than it's ever been and people are more scared than ever. I blame true crime and local news." ⲻ Unhappyhippo142

This is an idea that's been gaining a lot of steam in popular culture, and the boomers were at the forefront. Perhaps kids aren't too anxious to walk to school alone; they're anxious because we don't let them walk to school alone.

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture Children yearn to be free Giphy

11. Kids need to touch grass

"Kids shouldn't be on phones or iPads all the time. It makes them weird." — Ubstantial_Part_952

"The same could be said about most adults." — DrunkOctopus

12. Stop being so sensitive

"People in our generation are far, far too sensitive. Don't get it twisted; empathy is, by and large, a good thing and it takes some serious doing for me to say it's gone too far. But collectively, we've become people willing to throw every last bit of energy fighting against every slight and making sure our pet cause gets top billing to the point of fighting amongst each other even if we're in almost complete agreement otherwise. Emotional energy - like any other kind of energy - is very much a finite resource. Whereas boomers could at least generally agree to disagree and get on with things (obvious cross-wielding exceptions doth apply). Culturally, we've lost sight of the adage of 'winning the battle, losing the war.'" — almighty_smiley

Agreeing to disagree, to a certain acceptable extent, is a lost art. The way we're all disagreeing now is completely exhausting.

13. Stop delivery

"Food delivery services are a complete ripoff; if you use them regularly, you’re terrible with money. Get off my lawn." — VapeDerp420

14. Parking meters

"So rather than throwing a few coins in your meter, you have to now get your license plate #, get your meter number, go to the meter station, stand in line with everyone waiting to pay their meter, then you're set. It's an unnecessary amount of extra steps. I don't carry cash much anymore, but I can hide a small amount of coin in my car to quickly pay a meter." — Luke5119

Even better is when you have to download a Parking app so you can pay the city money to park! The boomers love that one, and so do the rest of us.

boomers, generations, generational differences, baby boomers, millennials, gen z, gen x, ok boomer, technology, culture Modern parking kiosks, and especially the apps, are the worst Giphy

15. Kids should know their place

"Not letting your children rule the roost. When did it become acceptable to let your kids back-talk to you, slap you, climb all over shi*t in public places? As we've raised ours, I've witnessed so many parents around us just let these behaviors slide. It's kind of sad when I'm the one saying things like, "Did I just hear you just say that to your mom?!?!?!?! That is not ok. You go and apologize right now!!". Then I get this stunned "deer in headlights" look back that tells me they aren't used to someone calling them out on their behavior." — Cobblestone-Villain

Gentle parenting definitely has its merits and benefits, but the boomers were right to be a little bit skeptical: In the wrong hands, it can backfire tremendously.

16. Pride in ownership

"Seems that a lot of boomers have pride of ownership and enjoy maintaining what they have." — Awkward_Bench123

17. Don't follow leaders

"My dad (a solid boomer) has been saying that ALL politicians are crooks since he became disenchanted with politics around the Nixon era. He was starry-eyed before that, trying to make social change, yada yada. He still votes, but holds his nose. Can’t say I disagree with him." — Thin_white_duchess

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

boomers

Motherhood

80-year-old has special, tearjerking message for under-appreciated stay-at-home moms

SAHMs need support and encouragement, and not just from each other.

Photo credit: Canva, @magicman1942/TikTok

Donal Schaefer's message is making so many SAHMS feel seen.

"Being a stay-at-home parent isn't a job! How hard is it to hang out with the baby all day?" Ever heard that one? Hopefully, you're hearing it less and less these days as people realize that "hanging out with the kids" is actually extremely difficult.

Stay-at-home moms work round the clock performing myriad duties, both physically and emotionally demanding, all for zero compensation. Not only does the job not pay (some studies show the value of the labor itself is worth nearly $160,000 per year), it doesn't usually come with a whole lot of respect or prestige. Even more dismaying than the lack of monetary gain is the lack of recognition these full-time moms get for what they accomplish day in and day out.

That’s where Donald Schaefer comes in. Schaefer, a man who seems to be upwards of 80 and living in Florida, is a bit of an unexpected influencer in the mom corner of social media.

sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Stay-at-home moms trying to find a second to themselves to send an email. Giphy

But nonetheless, his Instagram and TikTok are full of videos meant to offer financial tips, recipe ideas and emotional support specifically for this demographic. He helps stay-at-home moms work on side hustles and at-home businesses to supplement their income, you know, the one that they're not getting for all the hard work they're doing.

One video in particular is making stay-at-home moms, aka SAHMs, feel so seen.

In his “special message to stay-at-home moms,” Schaefer offers SAHMS the rare gift of being told what an “incredible job” they’re doing, saying that their “dedication, hard work and love are the cornerstones of your family’s well being.”

Watching his daughters and granddaughters with kids, Schaefer says that he’s “amazed” at what accomplished every day, and because of that, he was inspired to remind all SAHMS that “what you’re doing matters immensely.”

“Sometimes in the midst of the chaos of daily routines and endless chores it’s easy to forget how important your role is, but every meal cooked, every scraped knee kissed, every bedtime story read, it all adds up to shaping the future generation,” he said.

@magicman1942
Special message for the stay at home moms. #stayathomemom #personalgrowth #inspiration #stayathomemomstruggle #workingmom #personal

Schaefer went on to say that it’s “perfectly normal” to get overwhelmed or exhausted with all the responsibilities and isolation that come with the job. That’s what makes self care so necessary.

The isolation, in particular, can be a doozy. Many stay-at-home moms work incredibly hard to maintain a network of other parents with whom to plan play dates, lunches, and other social or kid-centric outings. Without just that little of bit of human connection, almost anyone would crumble to pieces.

“Whether it’s stealing a few moments for yourself during nap time, indulging in a hobby you love, or simply just taking a relaxing bath at the end of the day if you can find the time. Prioritize your well being,” he urged.

He then encouraged SAHMs to carve out moments to celebrate the small victories and appreciate the joys of motherhood, whether that looks like “a successful day of homeschooling” or “simply seeing your little one smile.”

Finally, Schaefer brought it all home by reiterating that even if it doesn't always feel like it, a SAHM’s value is “immeasurable.”

“Trust me. You are the heart and soul of your family and your efforts create a warm and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. Keep shining your light and know that you are appreciated, loved and admired more than you’ll ever know. You’re doing an amazing job, and the world is a better place because of you,” he concluded.

Understandably, viewers were moved. Over a million people watched the video and hundreds chimed in with their appreciation for the message.

sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Being a SAHM mom isn't all snuggles and kisses. But it's nice to remember to enjoy those moments when they do come. Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

“Made me tear up!! What man takes the time to encourage moms? None I’ve known. Thank you,” one person wrote.

“This definitely made me cry,” another echoed. “Thank you for such kind words and taking the time to make this video. It touched my heart so much.”

One commented, “I’m not even a SAHM, and I still felt this! ALL moms can relate I think…thank you sir!”

And still, another simply wrote, “Needed this.”

Moms, and stay-at-home moms, are fierce about their community and support for one another. They're quick to lift each other up, lend a helping hand, and heap words of praise on one another. But sometimes they need encouragement from outside their little tribe.

In Schaefer, here's a guy who's been around for a long time and seen it all. In his 80-plus years of wisdom, it speaks volumes that his appreciation for the hard work and sacrifice of stay-at-home moms has only grown.

For every SAHM (or any stay-at-home parent, for that matter) may these kind words help bolster your spirit, and remind you that what you do is important indeed. You deserve that, and so much more. The good news is that the world at large is starting to realize it, too.

For more of Schaefer's content, find him on Instagram and TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Health

How long can you hang from a bar? Researchers just found the optimal time for a long life

Ironically, the move is called a "dead" hang.

via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels and Dinielle De Veyra/Pexels

How long can you hang out? The answer may say a lot about your potential lifespan.

Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left. Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy, but some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health.

You could, if you were so inspired, shell out a bunch of money for fancy genetic and biological testing. Chasing immortality is all the rage with billionaires, so if you've got the money, you can find out an awful lot about how long you're likely to live.

Or you could just hit the gym or local playground and find out for free.

A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live, or longevity.

One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath, and start hanging. Don't worry, you don't need to be able to do a pull up!

Ironically, the move is called a "dead hang." So-called, because you literally just hang there for as long as possible.

The literature revealed that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men.

Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like.

longevity, aging, living long, getting older, seniors, dying, mortality, health, fitness, longevity test Cats are undefeated in grip strength. Giphy

Dr. Peter Attia, founder of Early Medical and author of Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (2023), believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health.

“It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on The Drive podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone who's got a weak grip deadlifting it's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge."

There are may ways to measure grip strength, but the dead hang is likely the simplest. When you think about it, it requires an incredible combination of shoulder mobility, spinal stability, core strength, and overall fitness. Not only are these all positive biological health markers, they're also all key to preventing falls as we get older.

Regularly practicing the dead hang, on the other hand, has incredible benefits including stretching your muscles and deloading your joints and spine, giving them a much needed rest.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog.

Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So, do lighter people have an unfair advantage over those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cell found a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity.

Other studies have elaborated on the findings: More important than your absolute grip strength and dead hang ability may be how it changes over time. Losing grip strength is a negative sign for your overall health, but maintaining or even building it is associated with better outcomes.

Another good reason to hit the gym regularly, at any age. No matter where you're starting, you want to do everything you can to maintain that level of strength as long as possible.

The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs.

longevity, aging, living long, getting older, seniors, dying, mortality, health, fitness, longevity test Practicing dead hangs will help you maintain grip strength no matter what your starting point. Photo by Charlotte Karlsen on Unsplash

How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline):

Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.
Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.
Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.
Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.
If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.
Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.

Grip strength is so strongly correlated with longevity that many medical professionals advocate for it being considered a true biomarker. A biomarkers is a regularly measured state of the body that's used as a key health indicator, like blood pressure or cholesterol. Grip strength, some say, should be regularly evaluated at medical check ups as an indicator of healthy aging.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Humor

Grandma goes viral with 3 perfect, hilarious rules for her funeral

We finally know why Bertha's not invited.

Grandma goes viral for her three simple yet hilarious 'funeral rules'

Forget kids. Grandmas say the darndest things. One grandma in particular took TikTok by storm for her brutally honest, yet hilarious “funeral rules.” And though Grandma Lill adds the caveat that it won’t be anytime soon, you had better remember these rules when the day finally comes. Or there might be two funerals to plan.

95-year-old Grandma Lill is no stranger to the spotlight. Her social media bios all read “I’m a celebrity” and she’s not foolin’ around. She has her own clothing line, YouTube Channel and her name has been uttered by the likes of Jimmy Kimmel and Steve Harvey. She’s basically the internet’s favorite granny.

TikTok · grandma_droniakwww.tiktok.com

But this video takes the cake at a whopping 50 million views. She’s gone full-blown viral now. Probably because she inadvertently brings up some little gems of wisdom we could all apply to dealing with the passing of a loved one.

Or maybe it's just cause she's delightfully cantankerous. Either way, it makes for some wholesome entertainment.

Without further ado, here are those three important rules:

1. Cry. But not too much.

Or, as Grandma Lill puts it, “don’t make a fool of yourself.”

Funerals can be just as much about commemorating as they are expressing grief. We can also share the happy memories we have of those who have passed, not just shed tears.

I think this is what grandma Lill was getting at. Or maybe she just doesn’t like you stealing the attention.

2. Bertha ISN'T invited.

Whoever this Bertha chick is … she messed up. She messed up big time. Bertha, you have been CANCELED.

And hey, why shouldn’t we decide who’s on the invite list for our last big day? If, for example, there’s a family member who caused a lot of pain, or with whom we just didn’t share a kinship … perhaps there doesn’t have to be an obligation to invite them to these major life moments.

Basically, this is your permission slip to openly decline any and all Berthas in your life. That goes for weddings, birthday parties, baby showers … you name it. Don’t let her in!

3. Get drunk afterward.

As long as you take a shot for Grandma Lill.

After the ceremony honors what’s lost, take a moment to let go and move forward with the life that is still around you. Something tells me that letting it all go and celebrating life is something Grandma Lill’s a pro at.

Check out Grandma Lill's 'Funeral Rules' below:

@grandma_droniak
it wont be any time soon but dont forget it #funeral #grandma #rules #dontcry #funeralservices #wake #greenscreen

Thousands of commenters chimed in to celebrate Lill's rules. But the overwhelming sentiment from almost every single one of them was: We need the full story of the beef with Bertha!

Lucky for us, all was revealed two years later when Grandma Lills made a video about attending Bertha's funeral. Bertha had, allegedly, tried to hook up with Lill's late husband. Not cool, Bertha! "I always knew I would outlive her," grandma joked.

In another recent viral video, Lill spoofs popular "Get Ready With Me" videos from other influencers by bringing the viewer along as she gets dressed for a funeral. Of course, funerals aren’t the only topic Grandma Lill can make you laugh about.

Her TikTok channel is a carefully curated gallery of pure funny. Everything from bingo jokes to advice for getting back at your ex (yeah, she shows no mercy) can be found here.

@grandma_droniak
rip arthur. who knows what we could have been

No one likes funerals, least of all the person who's there to be mourned. It's why the idea of the Irish Wake is so popular — a spirited celebration of life that encourages laughter and merriment. Grandma Lills definitely has the right idea about how she wants to go out, and now that it's cemented in Internet lore, her kids and grandkids will be forced to honor her wishes when the day comes.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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