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Sober woman shares the 1-minute psychological trick she uses to stop alcohol cravings

Can you really have "just one"?

via Terricks Noah/Pexels and Louis Laboratory/Pexels

A woman having a whiskey and another with a tape player

For people who have problems with alcohol, it’s nearly impossible to go out and have “just one” drink. After one drink, their inhibitions are lowered, which leads to drink two, drink three and then it’s off to the races. Chances are the following day will be one of regrets and consequences.

A TikTok user named Danielle, also known as the Sober Rebel, who has been sober for over five years, has a practice she uses to make sure she doesn’t fall for the “just one” trick her alcoholic mind plays on her.

“Alcohol cravings can legit hijack your brain and overtake your mind, leaving you feeling super powerless in that moment. Because in that moment, the desire to drink can be larger than your initial intention to not drink alcohol in the first place,” Danielle says in the video with over 675,000 views. “So we're gonna walk through a little visualization and we're gonna talk about this powerful exercise that is called playing the tape forward.”

Danielle plays out a scenario where you go out with your friends but don't want to drink because you're going hiking the next day and want to be fresh as a daisy. However, when you get to the restaurant, everyone is having a great time and you crave a drink.

“In that moment, you have to decide, like, are you gonna drink or are you gonna stick to the initial plan?" Danielle asks.

@thedanielledigrandi

Works everytime 🌟 Resources for sobriety, your alcohol free journey or sober curious 🔗 #sober #soberaf #sobercurious #sobertips #sobertiktok #fyp #alcoholfreejourney

When people who don’t want to drink are tempted to have “just one,” Danielle’s one-minute exercise can be a lifesaver. She says before you buy that martini, you should play out the scenario that will unfold if you have the drink, like a “movie unfolding in front of you.” But in this film, the drink is the focal point.

“So, based on your previous experiences with alcohol, what happened? Do you stop at one drink, or do you have two drinks and then like your inhibitions kinda go out the window and then you're like, f**k it, I'm going to have more?” she asks. Eventually, in Danielle’s scenario, the evening ends in complete debauchery and you wake up the following day with a pounding headache.

“Then you wake up the next morning and you are ridden with anxiety. Maybe the lights are still on because you passed out and all of your clothes and you have a pounding headache and then any plan that you had went out the window,” she concludes the scenario.

Then you ask yourself the question: Is the instant gratification of having this drink enough to justify the pain I will most likely face tomorrow morning?

Playing the tape forward isn’t just a technique people use in recovery. It’s a cognitive-behavioral tool that psychologists use to help people improve their decision-making in various scenarios. According to The Daily Sober, the practice gives us a clear idea of what may happen when we make terrible decisions and that one minute also buys us some time to let the craving pass.

“By vividly imagining these outcomes, we can gain a more transparent, more comprehensive perspective of the ramifications of our decisions,” The Daily Sober writes. “This process of 'Playing the tape through' brings a sense of clarity, enlightening us about the potential consequences of our actions. It helps grind our decision-making rather than being swayed by momentary impulses or cravings."

The TikTok video resonated with many of Danielle's followers trying to stay sober.

“I’m 9 months sober, but sometimes it comes knocking loud. But playing the tape right through instead of the trailer is key. Cuz the trailer looks great, but the movie looks tragic,” one commenter wrote. “Playing it forward, I learned this a few years back, a great way to stay sober,” another added.

“86 days today for me! This is incredibly good advice. Those cravings are liars, so shining a light on them is super helpful,” another commenter wrote.

It takes more than one behavioral technique for someone with a severe drinking problem to get sober. But, for those who want to stop drinking or at least be more intentional with their use, the more tools available, the better. That’s why it’s beautiful that Danielle has shared the play-the-tape-forward strategy on TikTok. Hopefully, it'll result in fewer of us falling victim to the “just one” trick our minds play on us.

Sure, having that drink will bring you instant gratification, but it can also be the starting point for an evening you’ll regret when the sun rises.

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Joy

15 'social hacks' that make interacting with friends, family and coworkers so much easier

These are all Jedi mind tricks.

via August de Richelieu/Pexels

Some coworkers are having a conversation.

Humans are infinitely complex beings, but we can also be very predictable. That sounds paradoxical, but just as people are capable of complex feats of reasoning, we also have instinctual, subconscious reactions to everyday events that make it easy to anticipate our behaviors.

There is an art to navigating complex social situations, whether with friends, family, coworkers, customer service people, or business relationships. One of the most significant advantages is knowing how to respond to other people’s behavior correctly. A skillful response in the right moment can make all the difference, whether it means closing a deal, getting someone to like you, or calming down an agitated customer.

A Redditor who goes by the name Orthopod_ace asked the AskReddit forum, “What's the best psychology trick you know?” and nearly 2,000 people shared the social hacks they use when interacting with others.

Many responses centered around easy-to-learn social tricks people can use to change others’ attitudes, opinions, and behaviors. We made a list of 15 of the best psychological tricks, or “social hacks,” as we’re calling them, to help you with your interpersonal relationships.


Here are 15 social hacks that make dealing with friends, family and coworkers much easier.

1. Give kids the illusion of choice

"Any illusion of choice you can give a kid works wonders. ‘It's bedtime, do you want to go potty or brush teeth first?' ; 'Do you want green beans or corn with your chicken nuggets tonight?' ; 'Do you want to clean up the books or the puzzles?'"

2. Silence is golden

"In a negotiation (e.g. when buying a car) stop talking and let the other party speak. Uncomfortable silences work very well in negotiations."

"Silence also works if you think someone is lying to you. Someone lying will instinctively keep trying to convince you, and will often add more noticeable exaggerations."

"Works great in call center work with angry callers, too. And you always have the plausible excuse of 'I'm just ensuring I didn't accidentally interrupt you.'"

3. Greet people with enthusiasm

"If you greet people as though you are excited to see them they will be equally happy to see you. This works great if you work in customer service and don't want to deal with people with bad attitudes."

"Also, to the receiver, you never know how being greeted as if you are important can impact a person. A lot of people walk around thinking they don't matter, no one notices them, they are a burden, etc. Being greeted with a warm, excited hello does make a difference."



4. Ask angry people to rephrase what they're saying

"If someone is angry with me and yelling or whatever. I will calmly say , 'I think I understand, but could you phrase the problem differently to help me understand better?' 9/10 times they stop dead in their tracks, regroup and rephrase calmly and way nicer. In short, getting people to actively think about what and how they say something."

"I like to say 'I hear you, but I just need a minute to process what you're saying.' For some reason that calms people down. I started doing it because it was true."

5. People live up to your expectations

"If you praise people and treat them as if they’re their best selves, and point out all the positive things they do and what you like about their behavior, they’ll do more of it, and they’ll do their best to live up to that expectation. The same goes for if you treat them as losers and only point out what they’re doing wrong; they’ll live up to that as well."

6. You don't need an answer

"Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean they get to decide what sort of answers they can get. If you're asked about a complicated topic, it's okay to say, 'I don't think I have enough information' or 'I think I need to think about it better for an answer' if you don't feel comfortable answering.

7. Mirror people

"When you're trying to connect with someone mirror their body language and keep eye contact. And when interacting with people, try to keep your posture straight and don't close yourself off. Keep your body language open and relaxed and people will enjoy your company more and be more likely to trust you."

There's a lot of science to back up the mirroring theory, also known as the "chameleon effect." Studies show that when we reflect other people's expressions and mannerisms, they are more likely to think of us positively. "Not only do we tend to like people who 'get us,' but we also trust them more, judge them as more attractive than we otherwise would, and feel more connected to them," Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., writes in Psychology Today.



8. Give them the point

"When debating someone, concede a point early on. You will be amazed at what people will concede once they know they are not the first to do so. And they’ll always concede something larger than you have. I negotiate for a living … works like a charm!"

9. Look forward

"When navigating busy sidewalks and people walking towards you, keep getting in your way, keep your eyes focused on where you are going, and don’t make any eye contact. People will glance at your face and instinctively avoid your path. It’s not a perfect solution but it’s a noticeable improvement. Works best if you’re tall you can also fix your target direction on a distant tree if you’re not."

10. Fix relationships through learning

"If you work with someone who you have a stressed relationship, ask them to teach you something. Even if you already know it. It'll help repair the relationship, and that person will never know."

11. Stay calm when dealing with angry people

"When someone is mad at you, stay calm and lower your voice. It confuses their anger response and might just make them feel like they're the crazy one. It’s like turning down the volume on a chaotic playlist!"



12. "Can you explain that?"

"When someone tells you something you find offensive and then tries to play it off as a joke, ask them to explain the joke to you. Awkward silence ensues."

13. Ask for a favor

"People will like you more and be more willing to help you if you ask them for a small, harmless favor. If someone seems to be clashing with you, asking them for help or to do something innocuous for you can actually help that dynamic. It's like their subconscious observes them doing something for you and assumes 'Oh, I guess I help that person, I must like them.'"

This theory is known as the Ben Franklin effect because he wrote about it in his autobiography. “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.” Many believe the psychological phenomenon works due to cognitive dissonance. Our brain can’t stand conflicting beliefs, so when we do a favor for someone, it convinces us we like the person to reduce feelings of discomfort.



14. Positive framing

"Instead of apologizing for a wait, thank them for their patience."

15. Expose a liar

"If you think someone is lying to you, get them to tell their story in reverse order, 'Memento' style. Was a fraud investigator in a previous life and this never failed me."







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Joy

Is your rear bumper aligned? People love RuPaul's unexpected but helpful parallel parking hack.

“Never thought I’d learn how to parallel park from Mama Ru."

via DVSRoss/Wikimedia Commons and Jason Thien/Flickr

RuPaul at RuPaul's DragCon 2019.

National treasure RuPaul is best known as the creator and host of “Drag Race,” a TV show that has nothing to do with automobiles. Although, the competition is as hot as a street race with drag queens fighting to see who has the fiercest fashion, persona and performance skills.

Recently, he shocked millions of people on TikTok with a video many saw was out of character for the “Supermodel” singer; he gave a lesson on how to parallel park your car. The video was a smash on the platform, receiving over 13 million views because it was fun and surprisingly informative.

“Unironically the most understandable parallel parking tutorial I’ve ever seen thanks mama ru,” one of the commenters on the video wrote.

The TikTok video works because RuPaul shares a simple way for people to align themselves with the space they want by paying attention to their passenger-side door, or PSD, as he calls it. "The secret to parallel parking is the passenger's side door or PSD. Your PSD has a front seam and a back seam,” RuPaul shares in the video.

@rupaulofficial

Bumper? I hardly know her! Parallel parking made easy!

Here are some easy steps to parallel park like RuPaul.

1. Pull your car side by side the car in front of the open spot you would like to take

2. Give yourself about 12 inches of space between your side door and their driver’s side door

3. Put your car in reverse

4. Once the back seam of your PSD is aligned with the car in front, cut your wheel into the parking spot

5. Once the front seam of your PSD is aligned with the back bumper of the car in front, cut your wheel in the opposite direction

"Voila! Yay!," RuPaul pronounces after successfully parking his convertible. "You have been promoted."

Commenters were impressed with RuPaul’s simple technique. “RuPaul explained this better than my driving teacher,” one commenter wrote. “Unironically, the most understandable parallel parking tut I’ve ever seen, thanks, mama ru,” another added.

Some say that the reason RuPaul made the video was because of the unfounded stereotype that gay men are bad at driving.

But it’s more likely RuPaul shared the tip because he started driving at a young age and one of his first jobs was as a driver. On a 2020 episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” RuPaul admitted that he began driving at 11.

“I’m from San Diego. When I was 11, my father lived in Cerritos up here near Los Angeles and we would spend the summers with him. He would go to work. Eleven years old, I would steal the keys from his Toyota Corona,” RuPaul recalled. “I would drive around Cerritos in my father’s Toyota Corona, only making right turns because I was too afraid to make left turns. Only making right turns in the neighborhood.”

Then, as a teenager, RuPaul moved from San Diego, California, to Atlanta, Georgia, and took a job driving luxury cars from California to Atlanta and back for his brother-in-law, who would flip them for a profit. “Americans have always been frontiersmen, people who are open to a new adventure, and I felt this as I drove cars alone, back and forth, across the United States,” he wrote in his 2024 memoir, “The House of Hidden Meanings.”

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