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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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Identity

My wife surprised her coworkers when she came out as trans. Then they surprised her.

She was ready for one reaction but was greeted with a beautiful response.

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

Zoe comes out to her coworkers.


Society, pay attention. This is important.

My wife, Zoe, is transgender. She came out to us — the kids and me — last summer and then slowly spread her beautiful feminine wings with extended family, friends, and neighbors.

A little coming out here, a little coming out there — you know how it is.

It's been a slow, often challenging process of telling people something so personal and scary, but pretty much everyone has been amazing.

However, she dreaded coming out at the office.

She works at a large technology company, managing a team of software developers in a predominantly male office environment. She's known many of her co-workers and employees for 15 or so years. They have called her "he" and "him" and "Mr." for a very long time. How would they handle the change?

While we have laws in place in Ontario, Canada, to protect the rights of transgender employees, it does not shield them from awkwardness, quiet judgment, or loss of workplace friendships. Your workplace may not become outright hostile, but it can sometimes become a difficult place to go to every day because people only tolerate you rather than fully accept you.

But this transition needed to happen, and so Zoe carefully crafted a coming out email and sent it to everyone she works with.

The support was immediately apparent; she received about 75 incredibly kind responses from coworkers, both local and international.

She then took one week off, followed by a week where she worked solely from home. It was only last Monday when she finally went back to the office.

First day back at work! I asked if I could take a "first day of school" type picture with her lunchbox. She said no. Spoilsport.

Despite knowing how nice her colleagues are and having read so many positive responses to her email, she was understandably still nervous.

Hell, I was nervous. I made her promise to text me 80 billion times with updates and was more than prepared to go down there with my advocacy pants on if I needed to (I might be a tad overprotective).

And that's when her office pals decided to show the rest of us how to do it right.

She got in and found that a couple of them had decorated her cubicle to surprise her:

LGBTQ, coming out, work

Her cubicle decorated with butterflies.

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

Butterflies! Streamers! Rainbows! OMG!

And made sure her new name was prominently displayed in a few locations:

empathy, employment, understanding

Zoe written on the board.

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

They got her a beautiful lily with a "Welcome, Zoe!" card:

coworkers, mental health, community

Welcome lily and card

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

And this tearjerker quote was waiting for her on her desk:

Oscar Wilde, job, employment

A quote from Oscar Wilde.

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

To top it all off, a 10 a.m. "meeting" she was scheduled to attend was actually a coming out party to welcome her back to work as her true self — complete with coffee and cupcakes and handshakes and hugs.

acceptance, friendship, relationships

Coming out party with cupcakes.

All photos by Amanda Jette, used with permission.

(I stole one, and it was delicious.)

NO, I'M NOT CRYING. YOU'RE CRYING.

I did go to my wife's office that day. But instead of having my advocacy pants on, I had my hugging arms ready and some mascara in my purse in case I cried it off while thanking everyone.

I wish we lived in a world where it was no big deal to come out.

Sadly, that is not the case for many LGBTQ people. We live in a world of bathroom bills and "religious freedom" laws that directly target the members of our community. We live in a world where my family gets threats for daring to speak out for trans rights. We live in a world where we can't travel to certain locations for fear of discrimination — or worse.

So when I see good stuff happening — especially when it takes place right on our doorstep — I'm going to share it far and wide. Let's normalize this stuff. Let's make celebrating diversity our everyday thing rather than hating or fearing it.

Chill out, haters. Take a load off with us.

It's a lot of energy to judge people, you know. It's way more fun to celebrate and support them for who they are.

Besides, we have cupcakes.


This article originally appeared on 04.08.16.

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lgbtq
Identity

Woman's potential boss offers his references during her interview. That's brilliant.

We often forget that the hiring process is a two-way street.

Fauxels/Pexels

Potential employers offering potential employees their professional references should be a regular thing.

Usually when people apply for a new job, they hyperfocus on making sure the potential employer knows they're an ideal candidate. They research the heck out of the company, tailor their resume for the position and practice answering tough interview questions they anticipate the hiring manager might ask.

But a hiring process is a two-way street, up to and including when an offer is made. That's perhaps never been more true than it is now, when unemployment is at a historic low and people can be choosier about the jobs they take. But even in a tough job market, a job interview means you are interviewing the company as much as they are interviewing you.

One woman shared a story that took that idea to the next level with a hiring practice that really should be standard everywhere.

Allison Peck shared in a LinkedIn post last year that she'd had a manager offer her three professional references—women who had worked for him in the past—so she could get some outside perspective on what he was like as an employer.

"Why don't hiring managers give 3 of THEIR references to job candidates?" Peck wrote. "This happened to me once and I'll never forget it. I was in the final round of interviews at a company years ago, and the hiring manager asked me for 3 references. Naturally, I provided him their contact info. And he said this:

'Thanks, here are 3 women who have reported directly to me previously and they've agreed to speak with you if you're curious what it's like working on my team.'

When I called those three women, they all had great things to say and that man was one of the best managers I've ever had.

Any hiring managers out there confident enough in their leadership abilities that they'd offer this in the future?"

The fact that the manager recognized that she might want feedback from other women shows an understanding of the dynamics that women can face in the workplace, which is a good sign in and of itself. And that he offered the references without even being asked was also a definite plus.

Ironically, the kind of employer who would offer such a thing the way he did is probably the kind of employer you'd want to work for, without even having to contact their references. But talking with people who have worked for your potential boss before could definitely offer some peace of mind and give you added information you may need to make a decision about a job. It also makes it more likely that you'll both be a good fit for one another, which again is the whole point of the hiring process.

Commenters agreed.

"I love this. When I hire into my team it's something I offer too. I'm still in touch with people who were reporting to me 8-10yrs ago, most of whom have gone on to do some wonderful things and I now consider friends." – Karen Hutchison

"I am with you on that. At my stage of my career, I will max out on salary and the benefits are usually decent. So what I care about is the team and leadership. So when I was unexpectedly let go 9 months ago and started looking all over again, I made it a point to ask about the team leader/manager and any other dynamics if I got to be interviewed by a peer panel. I ended up going with the job where the peers spoke highly of their manager both privately and in group interviews. I just wanted to work where boss actually cares about people more than they cared about managing her/his boss." – John Waldbaum

"Ok, I'm impressed. It would be great if this was normalized, and honestly, it would benefit both prospective hires as well as organizations. Many people get a job and start off excited just to find out that the manager they ended up working with is not exactly a good manager for them. This can translate into poor performance or even turnover. You can only find out so much during an interview that is timed and has set unwritten norms/ expected "etiquette". Normalize reverse references!!!" 😁 – Stanley Molton

"Wow I wish this were done everywhere! Speaking to other women candidates during the interview has never given me the sense they can speak openly (especially if it's recorded), because at the end of the day, they still report to that manager. Now, a manager that does this is demonstrating that there's recognition and sensitivity to what women are faced with in the workplace, and they have confidence in their reputation even behind closed doors." –Larissa Morrell

Resources like Glassdoor have helped provide an avenue for former employees to share their experiences, but there's an extra layer of impressiveness when a potential employer offers you their references themselves.

Reverse references. Let's make it a thing.

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He pursued his passion for food before being a chef was 'cool.'

True
Barilla

In elementary school, Lorenzo Boni was the only boy to sign up for cooking classes.

“At the time, being a chef wasn’t cool like it is today,” Lorenzo remembers. “There was no Food Network or guest celebrities on TV.”

Becoming a chef wasn’t necessarily seen as a particularly lucrative profession either — but that wasn't what Lorenzo was motivated by.

Just like the rest of us who find our calling to do what we love, he was motivated by one thing: passion.

Have a great, happy and fun Sunday everyone out there! Ciao! #cheflife #colander #hat #passionforpasta

A post shared by Lorenzo Boni (@cheflorenzoboni) on

He’d always spent Sunday mornings watching his mother make fresh tortellini or garganelli — pastas local to the Bologna region where they lived — and when the family came home from church, they’d all enjoy a delicious family meal made entirely from scratch.

Many Italian people out there will recognize this as the age-old tradition known as the, capital-letter, "Sunday Dinner. "

Instead of playing on a soccer team, Lorenzo helped his dad cook for the professional team he loved. This offered him the chance to meet his idols face-to-face.

He also helped his dad throw huge dinners for friends.

When he wasn’t helping out in his parents' kitchen, he was at his grandfather’s bakery, sneaking bites of warm pastries and other treats, as he watched them transform from dough to magic.

“I just really loved food and spending time with my family,” Lorenzo says.  

He went on to become the only boy in his family to attend culinary school.

His brothers became dentists and accountants.

And fueled by his deep-rooted passion for food, Lorenzo went on to have a highly successful career.  

He cooked in a number of Michelin-starred restaurants across Italy and eventually opening his own restaurant in Italy.

Chef Lorenzo Boni in the Barilla test kitchen in Chicago. Image via Barilla, used with permission.

And, today, he’s the executive chef at Barilla's North America test kitchen in Chicago, where he is in charge of all recipe development for North America.

Taste-tester may be a job we all joke about when we snatch a forkful off a friend's plate, but it's serious business in the real world.

Creating recipes for Barilla’s websites, social media accounts, and the quintessential back-of-the-box recipes we all love comes with serious responsibility.

Image via Barilla, used with permission.

“It’s so different every day,” he says. “When I had my restaurant, it was a very good business, but I wanted to be able to travel, to meet new people, new chefs. That’s what I missed.” Plus, he gets to develop recipes for passionate celebrities for the YouTube show "While the Water Boils" with Hannah Hart.

Chef Lorenzo Boni's spaghetti recipe with cherry tomatoes and basil. Image via Barilla, used with permission.

He also gets to teach kids how to cook, as his test kitchen has a series of cooking classes for children from disadvantaged neighborhoods.

"We have been working with different organizations with the goal of inspiring kids and their families to spend more time in the kitchen," he says. The goal is simple: teach them to cook healthier foods and encourage them "have meaningful time around the stove and the table with family and friends."

After all, it was this time in the kitchen with family that helped Lorenzo discover and fuel his passion — and now, he wants to share that joy with others too.

Image via Barilla, used with permission.

"I am happy I can share my love of food with American kids, just like my father and grandfather did with me," he says. "Those are memories that will stick with me forever."

Lorenzo has also mastered the art of professional food photography and he uses it to share his passion for food with an even wider audience (of all ages), including the Passion for Pasta audience online, as well as tons of Instagram followers.

When it comes to following your passion, Chef Lorenzo says it's important not to be distracted by specific, long-term goals.

What matters most is that what you do now.

"Follow what your heart is telling you to do. Just go for it."

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It's the most dangerous electrical job in America. Bill Reimels was born to do it.

Danger! High voltage!

True
Deepwater Horizon

The power is out, and people are worried.

The streetlights have gone dark, and the traffic signals flicked off. Hospitals and data centers have stopped humming as emergency generators groan to life. Across the region, everything — cars, transit, homes, and businesses — is at a standstill. Technicians monitoring the grid confirm it is a major outage. With millions of dollars in lost time on the line, it needs to be identified and repaired as quickly as possible.

Bill Reimels lives for these moments.

Bill Reimels approaches a work site in a helicopter. All images via Deepwater Horizon/Participant.

As part of a team responsible for maintaining and repairing power lines and transformers across the state of New Jersey, Bill Reimels' work needs to be done efficiently, correctly, and quickly. The company he works for, PSE&G, helps keep 1,200 miles of electrical transmission lines running smoothly — making sure cities from Woodbine to Wantage have consistent, reliable power.

The work he does isn't for the faint of heart, either. It takes electrical know-how, a calm demeanor, and the ability to solve complex electrical problems next to a high-voltage power line while sitting on a small seat off the side of a helicopter hovering hundreds of feet in the air.

Yes, you read that right. Watch the video below to see Bill in action:

Before he started working live lines, Bill climbed power transformers for 11 years. His new job takes him even higher — but he says it's well worth the risk.

"People used to ask me all the time — how do you do that?" Bill said. "It's just like anywhere else; you get used to working up there. You just watch where you put your hands and feet."

Bill hard at work.

That latter part is an understatement. Most long-distance high-voltage power lines in America carry a load between 155,000 and 765,000 volts, and touching even a spark could be deadly. At PSE&G, Bill is part of a huge team that constantly monitors and preventatively repairs lines so that big accidents where folks are really at risk are few and far between. That's crucial because people doing this kind of work risk electrocution, burns, and falls every single day, although all are relatively rare.

As for Bill, he said he's had a couple scares but nothing serious. That's amazing considering he does most of his work sitting in a chair hundreds of feet above the ground, held in place by a harness clipped to his back and a small sturdy seatbelt across his lap. That lap belt, Bill shares, is a new addition to their safety set up. "It's really for the pilot's comfort. If he needs to make a rough landing for whatever reason, he wanted to make sure we were safe and wouldn't bounce up into the rotor," he says. "I trust in my team to keep me safe, and make sure these lines are safe, too."

Bill's work isn't always about power lines. Sometimes he gets to help with other valuable work: helping biologists tag baby eagles.

"I love bald eagles, and as it turns out, we have 20 nests on our lines," he shares enthusiastically. Because bald eagles are protected in the United States, they can make their nests anywhere they want, and the helicopters on Bill's team generally give them and their nests a wide buffer when they pass by — at least 500 to 1,000 feet.

But sometimes they have to get a little closer, like when they're assisting biologists in identifying and tagging baby eaglets.

"We'll help gather them from the nest and take them to the biologists to do their thing, then we help put them gently back in the nest," he says. "It's pretty amazing, getting to hold my favorite animal in the world in my hands."

Ultimately, this work — challenging, thoughtful, and outside — is perfect for Bill. He couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"I'll never forget the first time I got to fly in the helicopter," Bill said. "I got to jump on a ride to check out a transformer. It was usually an hour and a half trip by car, but it was only 10 minutes by helicopter. It was such a thrill." He paused to think.

"Now it's kind of old hat," he laughed.

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