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I was afraid to come out as transgender. My mom's response gives me hope.

Dear Mom: You’ve often joked that kids don’t come with instruction manuals...

It sure would’ve been nice if they did, though, because nothing really prepared you for having a transgender kid. Let’s face it: nothing about the suburbs of Michigan screams “pride parade.”

So it doesn’t surprise me that when I came out as transgender three years ago, you were overwhelmed.

You told me you’d always wanted a daughter — that you’d imagined the sweet sixteen, the wedding dress, and even being there for me through a pregnancy. You had to grieve the future you’d imagined for me when I was born and all the experiences you pictured us sharing along the way.

Life didn’t just throw you a curveball when I came out — it threw you several. You learned that you had a gay, transgender son… and he’d just run off to San Francisco to be a writer.

But despite all that, your response to my coming out actually blew me away.

Photo by Rémi Walle / Unsplash.

You started by reminding me of something that had happened a few years before.

You asked if I remembered that time I had to get your car towed.

How could I forget? I was backing out of a parking spot, and didn’t realize until it was too late that I’d driven right into a median, impressively burying the tires deep into the wood chips. The more I hit the gas pedal, the deeper I got stuck.

I called you, panicked. Grandpa drove you to meet me, and I’ll never forget your horrified expression when you saw that tiny blue car, tires buried in the dirt. I’d somehow managed to find the only landscaped median in the entire parking lot. It wasn’t my finest moment.

[rebelmouse-image 19346523 dam="1" original_size="4786x3190" caption="Photo by Balazs Koczina / Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Balazs Koczina / Unsplash.

The car was a little scratched up, but all in all, it survived my disastrous driving. We drove home separately, though, because you needed time to cool off. I was sure you’d be angry at me forever.

But you weren’t. Like always, you came around.

As we recalled that day’s events, you said “Do you know why I came around?”

“Because you love me,” I replied.

“That’s right,” you said. And in that moment, I understood why you brought up my terrible parking job, of all things, when I came out as transgender. Because even if in that immediate moment, when you were overwhelmed and confused, you still loved me.

Looking back, I understand now that there wasn’t anything I could do to make you love me any less.

Sam in 2010 (left) and 2018 (right). Photo via Sam Dylan Finch, used with permission.

Like you’d told me many times before, while the initial shock of something might throw you, there wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. All you needed was time.

“Though I really wish you’d stop raising my blood pressure,” I remember you joking. Apparently I’m responsible for a good portion of your grey hairs, and I’ll give you that — I can be a handful.

I’ll be honest, I never really expected that you’d stand by me when I began my gender transition. But I’ve been grateful every day since then that you have.

Just a couple months after coming out, you and Dad sent me a birthday card in the mail. As I tore open the envelope, there peaking out was a card with a big rainbow on it. “100% chance of happy,” it read. And there was a little cloud on it raining glittery raindrops.

I was in tears. It was the first card I’d ever gotten that didn’t call me your daughter. And it meant the world to me that on the day I was born, you chose to celebrate me exactly as I was, rainbows and all.

I still have the card saved to this day.

The birthday card my parents sent me after coming out. Photo via Sam Dylan Finch, used with permission.

You never tried to change who I was — because you knew that what made me unique was also precious.

And whenever I told you that I felt like the 'black sheep' in our family, you'd lovingly remind me that I was still your "special child."

You were there to help me shop for men's attire for my brother's wedding, you listened to me as I excitedly blabbed on and on about all the ways I was starting to look like Dad, and I could always count on you to tell me if my haircut wasn't flattering.

What I expected least of all, though, was that you and I would be able to laugh along the way about all this, too.

When my facial hair started growing in, you didn’t skip a beat when you said to me, “Sam, you need to start manscaping.” I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when you said that to me.

Sam, present day. Photo via Sam Dylan Finch, used with permission.

I’ll never forget when I told you about my surgery, too, and you jokingly asked if the plastic surgeon had a “two-for-one special,” because you had some work you wanted to get done, too.

So many of the transgender people that I know have been disowned by their families. Instead, I have the opposite problem — I can’t seem to get rid of you (not that I’d ever want to, of course). I feel lucky to be loved and accepted exactly as I am. It is what every kid deserves, but too few LGBT people actually get.

Sam, present day. Photo via Sam Dylan Finch, used with permission.

I know you wish you could do this whole “ally” thing perfectly. But what I want you to know is that trying your best is perfectly enough for me.

The truth is, I never wanted you to be a transgender expert or to lead a pride parade (you can leave that to me — I’ve got us covered!). I just wanted you to be there for me.

I can’t thank you enough for doing just that, even when you had your own grief to process. It takes a remarkable kind of mother to not just talk about unconditional love, but to actually love without conditions.

For someone without an instruction manual, Mom, I’d say you’re doing a pretty amazing job.

Love, your "special child,"

Sam

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Democracy

Trevor Noah implores U.S. journalists to ask themselves this one vital question

"Ask yourself that question every day, because you have one of the most important roles in the world."

@birbigs/Twitter

Trevor Noah received high praise for his closing remarks at the 2022 White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Back in 2022, for the first time in six years, the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner (WHCD) was held with the president of the United States in attendance in Washington, D.C. The WHCD has been a tradition in Washington for more than a century and for the past several decades it has taken the form of a comedic roast of both the government and the press. The dinner on April 30, 2022 was hosted by comedian and former host of "The Daily Show" Trevor Noah, who's known for his smart, witty commentary on social and political issues.

The "let's invite a comedian to publicly and viciously make fun of us for a couple of hours" idea may be a bit odd, but these events have proven quite popular over the years, with many viral moments (including President Obama's infamous GIF-worthy mic drop) coming from them. The dinner opened with Noah joking about it being a superspreader event, earning some uncomfortable laughter as the COVID-19 pandemic was still fresh, and then the individual roasts commenced. Noah didn't hold back slamming people across the political and media spectrum—all in good fun, of course—including President Biden himself.

But it was Noah's closing remarks that earned the most attention. In his signature style, Noah managed to bring a serious and thoughtful element to a night of ribbing and laughter when he admonished the press to recognize both their freedom and their responsibility.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


“If you ever begin to doubt your responsibilities, if you ever begin to doubt how meaningful it is, look no further than what’s happening in Ukraine," Noah told the reporters in the room. "Look at what’s happening there. Journalists are risking and even losing their lives to show the world what is happening. You realize how amazing that is?

“In America, you have the right to seek the truth and speak the truth, even if it makes people in power uncomfortable. Even if it makes your viewers or readers uncomfortable. You understand how amazing that is?" he reiterated.

Noah pointed out that he had just stood there and made fun of the president of the United States and he was going to be fine. Then he contrasted that with the reality Russian journalists are living under Vladimir Putin.

“Ask yourself this question," he said to the members of the media. "If Russian journalists who are losing their livelihoods … and their freedom for daring to report on what their own government is doing—If they had the freedom to write any words, to show any stories, or to ask any questions—if they had, basically, what you have—would they be using it in the same way that you do?

"Ask yourself that question every day," he said, "because you have one of the most important roles in the world."

People had high praise for Noah's entire evening of hosting, but especially for his closing remarks. Russia's war on Ukraine has put a spotlight on many things we tend to take for granted, including the freedom of the press.

Journalists play a vital role in society and it's one they must take seriously. To be fair, most journalists do feel the weight of their responsibility, but the corporatization of news media and a 24/7 news cycle has created a competitive landscape in which coverage is sometimes determined by what will drive traffic or viewers rather than on what's truly newsworthy or important. The demonization of news outlets by some has also created a hostile media environment, and news organizations have to resist the urge to kowtow to the loudest voices or inadvertently amplify the wrong things. Journalists often have to fight for the truth on multiple fronts, sometimes inside their own newsrooms.

As we see attacks on the media ramping up, both legitimate criticisms and blatant violations of the first amendment, the responsibility shouldered by journalists is weightier than ever. Speaking truth to and about power may not always be popular, and being careful to get the facts straight may not result in as many clicks as sensational or conspiratorial headlines do, but when you cut through the noise of social media and the political melee, what will endure—hopefully—is the real reporting of what's actually happening. In addition to the public need to be intelligently and accurately informed, future generations will depend on the historical record that real reporters and journalists help provide.

Thank you, Trevor Noah, for reminding reporters that the fight is worth it and for using this opportunity to remind the press of its primary purpose with such a simple yet profound question.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Teachers

Florida teacher fired for giving zeros to students who didn't turn in assignments

The lowest grade that teachers are allowed to give students is a 50.

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

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teachers
Joy

Teacher starts doing her student's hair everyday after her parent died to take care of her

"I love being the teacher that I needed growing up."

Image via Canva

Elementary school teacher Alice Yates does hair for student who lost a parent.

Teachers play a much larger role than simply being educators. And elementary school teacher Alice Yates (@missaliceinteacherland) understands what it means to go above and beyond for her students, especially those in need.

In a new video shared on Instagram, Yates shared an emotional video about a student who recently lost a parent. After noticing she was coming to school with her hair unbrushed most days, she decided to step in with kindness and help take care of her by doing her hair everyday.

In the start of the video, Yates shows herself brushing out a little girl's hair as she tells her story in the captions. "A few months ago one of my student's parent died pretty suddenly...she was coming to school with her hair not even brushed most days," she writes. "I just wanted to help where I could. So I bought a cheap comb and hair ties so that I could at least do a basic pony for her to get her hair out of her face."


The small act of love did not go unnoticed. Her other students noticed Yates doing the student's hair, and wanted to get their hair done, too. "Then the other girls in the class started asking if I'd do their hair too. Now during breakfast, we have chitchats while we do hair! I wouldn't trade this time for anything. It has helped us all become so much closer.❤️"

She goes on to explain that she wasn't sure if parents would be okay with it, but was put at ease after getting a thankful message from one.

"I was a little nervous some parents might take it the wrong way that I'm doing their kids hair, but then I got this message: 'I just FaceTimed with [student's name] and saw her hair. It was adorable. Thank you for being extra sweet to my girl while I'm away. I don't even know what her hair looked like when she came in lol."

Yates offered more details as to why she treasures the personal interactions with her students. "I love being the teacher that I needed growing up...when I was a kid many of my teachers didn’t take the time to get to know us. They didn’t really show us love, tell us about their family, or even ask about ours," she writes. "They showed up, taught from a McGraw Hill Teacher Guide and went home. I think back on school and I hated it most years. I can count on one hand the teachers that I felt safe and happy with."

It was that experience that made her want to be a different teacher. "School filled me with so much anxiety and I think it’s a huge reason why I pour my heart and soul into teaching now," she writes. "I find so much comfort in looking into a parents eyes and telling them that I will take care of their baby, and they look back and me and know I mean it. ❤️"

Yates' emotional video got an incredibly supportive response from viewers. "And that’s a vocation right there & exactly the teacher our children need 💕," one wrote. Another shared, "This is beautiful bc when I was in 3rd grade my dad almost died in a motorcycle accident. Needless to say with no family nearby, most days I was barely dressed much less brushed. My teacher would bring barrettes to put up my hair and ill never forget the difference it made in my life ♡." And another viewer added, "They will never forget you and the time you took for them ❤️."

If you would like to contribute to Miss Alice's classroom, you can shop her Amazon Classroom Wishlist here.

teacher
Parenting

Parents put on a makeshift art show for their 4-year-old’s creative works

Hors d'oeuvres and smiles were included.

Photo credit: Canva

Celebrating a child's art can be fun for all.

Have you ever read “The Artist’s Way”? Written by Julia Cameron in 1992, it’s a wonderful workbook that teaches you ways to unlock your creative potential. There are the “morning pages,” a daily ritual in which you wake up, then log three free-written pages by hand, tossing whatever ideas come from your mind onto the page. The weekly “artist date,” which sees you out in the world, enriching your creative soul. And the rotating lessons, each centered around a specific “block” you may have concerning your creativity.

For the uninitiated, this may all sound a bit “woo-woo.” But the core idea is that, unknowingly, society stifles our creativity in a million and one ways. Teachers who were mean and cruel, mocking your attempts at art. Distracted parents, more concerned with grades than anything else. Existence within a culture that prizes financial stability and success over creative outpourings of the soul.

Luckily, the daughter of TikTok user @abigail.ellesociety will never have to worry about any of that. In a joyous viral video (that’s racked up 4.2 million views, 945,000 likes, and over 109,000 shares), Abigail shares the art show she threw her four-year-old daughter. Besides the three-foot-tall host, the video depicts a trendy scene that would look at home in any gallery in Los Angeles or Manhattan.

woman in white long sleeve shirt and blue denim jeans sitting on brown wooden tableIt's never too late (or too early) to unleash your inner artist. Photo by Matthieu Jungfer on Unsplash



“You throw your four-year-old an art show”

Welcome to @abigail.ellesociety’s art show. The video begins with the four-year-old artist in residence dressed in a chic, all-black outfit. She sports a sleek, pulled-back hairdo (no surprise, given that her mom is a hairstylist and owns Elle Society Salon in Troutdale, Oregon) and welcomes admirers, patrons, and fellow peers into the space. Some even arrive with flowers.


children standing next to art exhibitPeople online are loving the four-year-old's art show. Photo credit: Canva

Her art is proudly displayed on the walls. There's Pikachu, depicted in watercolor. Hand-drawn rainbows and purple butterflies. Minions scowling; minions lifting weights. Minions wielding a lasso. (The artist’s affinity for the “Despicable Me” henchmen did not go unnoticed, with the official Illumination’s Minions account commenting, “She’s an artisté ✨”. The official Barbie account also chimed in, commenting, “to be loved is to be seen 💓”.) Peckish guests enjoyed a delicious spread of finger foods, including pigs in a blanket and pinwheel turkey wraps.

In the comments, TikTok users gushed over the four-year-old’s art show, with @zee_nicolee writing, “This new generation of moms are really healing so many of us 🥰🥰 Great job, Mama 🥰”.

@astoldbyawa said, “I’m literally gonna be this type of mom idc.” While @uncancelable.sahra chimed in, “Can you imagine seeing her art in a museum one day?”


How to honor your child’s creativity

The benefits of supporting a child’s art are endless. Beyond the creative realm, honoring their art is a significant step toward fostering self-respect, confidence, and self-expression. Here are 4 ways to celebrate your child’s inner artist.

  1. Take their art seriously. The beauty of the art show is how free it is—it’s not an art show “for kids,” it’s a real, bonafide art show! The artist—and her work—are taken seriously. Have your child sign and date everything they make (and like!) on the back. Save these treasures, either digitally or physically, to create a living record of their artistic journey: a lovely portfolio for them and you!
  2. Create a cork wall display. For a natural, “artsy” feel, constructing a wall-to-wall (or even extremely large) corkboard could provide the perfect canvas for a budding artist’s portfolio. For inspiration, check out this one posted by @florenceandhenri on Instagram, which shows rows and rows of neatly organized child artwork held up by pushpins. It’s an easy way to rotate pieces in and out, and is a nice alternative to the ubiquitous chalk wall. “[A cork wall] helps with acoustics,” writes @florenceandhenri. “It’s tactile and brighter than a wall full of black.”
  3. Repurpose as stationary. This technique saves money—and the planet! Turn artwork into writing cards, thank you notes, and letters by writing on the back. It’s a personal, homey touch that many recipients will appreciate. If you want to go the extra mile, try your hand at the Japanese art of origami and fold the artwork until it becomes an envelope.
  4. Save art in a collage. Although these are precious artifacts, physical copies of a child’s art can accumulate quickly—and if you’re not an archivist, saving them can feel more like a chore than a celebration. Turn those works into a collage, either digitally or physically. You can even get creative with the design, like a collage that looks like your home state or a collage using the letters in your child's name.

Remember, honoring your child’s art is supposed to be fun. If you get trapped in a "do it perfectly" mentality, just refer back to the original art show video. In it, everyone is relaxed and having a good time. The art is hung nicely (but not overly styled or organized). The four-year-old artist is excited to share her work with others. And there are heaps of pigs in a blanket. Those always help. For more inspiration, check out the full art show TikTok below:


@abigail.ellesociety

🧑‍🎨🎨

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