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Modern Families

Sandra Bullock is brutally honest with her kids about race, because she has to be

“I don't care if it scares them because it’s my job to let them know that outside of these safe walls, things are different."

Sandra Bullock on 'Red Table Talks.'

Sometimes the best protection a parent can offer is presenting the world exactly as it is.

In 2021, Sandra Bullock appeared on an episode of Jada Pinkett Smith’s "Red Table Talk," where she discussed the realities of being a white mom to two black children.

Bullock adopted her son Louis and her daughter Laila between 2010 and 2015, and since the adoption has been praised not only for being so open with her children about race, but for approaching it through their perspective, versus one of privilege.

“To say that I wished our skins matched…sometimes I do. Because then it would be easier on how people approached us,” she admitted.

It might make things easier, but for Bullock and her children, that is simply not the truth.

No parent wants to tell their child that the world can often be a scary and unfair place, but not having the difficult conversation is, as Bullock told BET in 2015, a “disservice.”

She added:

“I can't ride in a bubble with him. I want him to know the truth…that you’ll be judged by the color of your skin rather than the content of your character. But it exists, and I want him to be safe and I want him to be aware. Once he leaves that house and I’m not with him, it’s his life and how he approaches it is his decision…I want to know that I did the best I could as his mom to educate him on the ugliness in the world, and also the beauty.”

In an interview with theGrio, Bullock reflected on a heartbreaking experience after seeing son Louis wearing a hoodie. It’s crazy to think that something as innocent as this could be life-threatening, but as the countless stories of racial profiling continue to make headlines, it is a consistently relevant and crucial conversation to have.

She asked her 6-year-old, “What does it look like you’re doing with the hoodie?”

Louis’ response: “Well, I look like I’m hiding.”

Bullock told theGrio that Louis is well aware that he would be treated differently as a white boy. She reiterated that she “doesn’t care” if that fact scares her children, because it is her “job to let them know that outside of these safe walls, that things are different.”

The responsibility of a parent is to make the children aware of potential dangers they are likely to face, to fully equip and prepare them. For parents with children of color, this includes the added weight of discussing the prejudice waiting for them outside the safety of home.

Though Sandra Bullock is well aware of the hardships her children face, she still says “maybe one day we’ll be able to see with different eyes.”

For a change like that to happen, we will need to see through the eyes of empathy and compassion. This is something Bullock embodies every day that she chooses to have transparent conversations with her children, to “protect them, enlighten them, and show them their power.”


This article originally appeared on 12.3.21

This was the cover of Los Angeles Times' magazine The Envelope, published on Dec. 21, 2017.

Notice anything ... painfully obvious?

All actresses gracing the cover — Margot Robbie, Diane Kruger, Saoirse Ronan, Annette Bening, Jessica Chastain, and Kate Winslet — are white.


The cover's message — highlighting "a change in the way many stories are told" — came across as tone deaf and exclusionary at a time when the conversation around racial diversity on screen has taken center stage.

Many people noticed. "I don't understand how ... a cover like this could be approved with this headline," one Twitter user said.

It was Chastain in particular, though, who took the most heat for appearing on the cover.

In recent years, Chastain has become a vocal advocate for change in Hollywood, publicly addressing how racism and misogyny affect her industry in consequential ways. Her production company, Freckle Films, is primarily staffed by women, according to The Mary Sue, and focuses on female-driven projects. So her involvement in The Envelope cover was especially noteworthy (and disappointing) to many fans, given her commitment to changing the industry from the inside out.

‌Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for The Critics' Choice Awards.‌

"Honestly, [Chastain], as an outspoken voice for equality, how do you pose for a photo like this and not feel absolutely mortified by the blatant exclusion?" asked WNYC editor Rebecca Carroll.

To her credit, Chastain responded to the cover, calling it "sad" and demanding better:

And many fans defended the actress, suggesting that she was being disproportionately criticized.

But Chastain also got some big-name support from another famous woman in Hollywood: Jada Pinkett Smith.

At the Sundance Film Festival, Pinkett Smith took part in a panel about the importance of diverse storytelling on Jan. 22, 2018. While she didn't directly reference the fallout from The Envelope cover, Pinkett Smith made a point to praise Chastain for her work behind the scenes empowering women of all colors.

‌Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for The Clara Lionel Foundation.‌

Pinkett Smith referenced a new film project starring Chastain and the Oscar-winning Octavia Spencer, who is black, in order to illustrate an important point.

"Jessica said to Octavia, ‘I got you. I’m going to Universal, and we’re going to make a favored nations deal,’" she began. "Jessica stood up for Octavia, and I want you to know that because they stood together, they got three times what they were asking for as a unit."

The "favored nations deal" Pinkett Smith referenced is a clause in some entertainment contracts that guarantees no other performer sharing the screen with an artist can be working under better terms. By helping ensure Spencer got a deal in that vein, Chastain helped level the playing field.

Representation is important, Pinkett Smith explained, but it should be accompanied by real, substantial work toward equality — work that often happens behind the scenes.

And when it comes to doing the work, according to Pinkett Smith, Chastain is a team player. She went on:

"It’s nice to go out and march, we can do that. It’s nice to wear black at the Golden Globes. It’s nice to do that. But what are we doing behind closed doors? And I got to give our sister Jessica Chastain her props. Because she stood up for Octavia and put it down. And that’s how we all need to do it for each other.”

Preach, Jada.

Watch Pinkett Smith's fiery defense of Chastain in the video below:

Everything was supposed to get better after 2016.

2017, or so we thought. Photo by Alice Popkorn/Flickr.

When the history books are written, we believed this year would stand apart as uniquely awful. Annus horribilis. The year from hell. Bad things happened to good people. Great people passed away. Hurricanes raged. Fires burned. "Independence Day: Resurgence" failed to capture the magic of the original.


But we hoped, prayed, and frankly, assumed, that on December 31, the sky would open up, angelic choirs would sing, and we would be ushered naked and weeping into the 2017 utopia of our dreams.

Yet, in 2016's final, cruelest twist: It's pretty clear that ain't gonna happen now. At least for a lot of us.

True, Donald Trump's supporters are cracking beers, cueing up old DVR'ed episodes of "Celebrity Apprentice," and settling in for four years of the greatering again of America.

But those people whose lives and values came under threat in the election — Muslims, women, immigrants, people of color, among others — are preparing for a much harder road ahead.

It's easy to look back on all this and feel hopeless and helpless. For so many people around the world, the relief expected at the end of the year won't deliver itself. The thing is, we're not hopeless and helpless. We never were, and we aren't now. The idea that 2016 was simply fated to be horrendous is a myth — one that's more than a little self-serving. And if you look between the cracks, it wasn't all bad.

Indeed, while many of us spent 2016 sitting on our respective couches tweeting about this supposedly inevitably terrible, no good, death trap of a year, others were out working to change the specific, real-life things they thought were bad. And they did! Sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse, but they stopped complaining about how horrible 2016 was, packed their bags, got in the streets, and showed up.

The real lesson of 2016? We can't count on the stuff we don't like to just change on its own.

2016 is almost wrapped, and while it might be too late for a do-over, it's not too late to learn, memorize, and internalize these seven lessons to make sure we don't repeat the same mistakes in 2017.

1. We need to show up and vote.

Yep. This is happening. Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

Say what you want about Donald Trump (I certainly have) — but his victory in November's election shocked the world — including, seemingly, many members of his own staff. After stumbling through three debates, launching feuds with private citizens, and nearly imploding over a leaked "Access Hollywood" tape, his campaign was disorganized, rudderless, and trailing in the polls in nearly every key state.

How did he pull it off? Trump's supporters wanted change, and they showed up and votedin the places where it counted (for what it's worth, nearly 3 million more Hillary Clinton voters showed up nationwide — but had the unfortunate luck to live in the wrong states).

Amid Trump's stunning upset, however, progressives managed to let loose a small ray of hope. In North Carolina, voters showed up and voted to reject a vicious anti-LGBTQ law by firing Gov. Pat McCrory, who signed it.

North Carolina Governor-elect Roy Cooper. Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images.

The groundwork for McCrory's defeat was laid way back in 2013, before the law even passed, by William Barber's Moral Mondays movement, which spent countless hours mobilizing citizens across class, gender, and racial lines to demand economic and social justice. Those citizens marched, organized, showed up, and — three years later, amid the horror of 2016 — won.

2. We need to show up in person.  

Protesters at Standing Rock. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

This lesson wasn't lost on the thousands of people who showed up in person at an isolated Indian reservation in the Dakotas to fight the construction of an oil pipeline on sovereign land and, after months of dedicated protest, won a major concession from the U.S. government.

Nor was it lost on thousands of women in Iceland, who showed up in person to walk off the job in protest of unequal pay and got the world's attention.

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

Nor was it lost on the hundreds of Americans who showed up in person to rally behind their fellow citizens as hate incidents rose around the country.

A man stood outside a mosque in Dallas holding a sign saying, "You Belong." After an incident where a stranger threatened to light a female student's hijab on fire, students at the University of Michigan showed up to shield Muslim classmates who were praying. Students at the University of Kansas offered to walk their classmates of color to class. In Allen, Texas, a stranger left signs of support outside a local mosque. Churches across America are gearing up to protect immigrant families from abuse.

3. We need to not show up when showing up would mean compromising our values.

Spike Lee. Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images.

Back in January, director Spike Lee and actor Jada Pinkett Smith announced they would be boycotting the Oscars after no actors of color were nominated in acting categories for the second straight year. Thousands of Twitter users showed up in support with the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite.

In response, the academy ... actually made changes. The organization announced it would expand its board and review members' voting qualifications every 10 years, with the goal of expanding the number of women members and members of color by 2020.

4. We need to show up and do the things we really don't want to do that make us uncomfortable or even embarrassed — for the greater good.

Do you think Barack Obama wanted to make nice, shake hands, and have his picture taken with Donald Trump?

We're all so incredibly happy. Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

After the guy questioned Obama's citizenship, savaged his character, and called his 2012 election victory a lie? President Obama could have told Trump to screw off until January — and he would have been more than justified. But he sucked it up and has been giving the guy free presidenting lessons ever since. Not because he wants to — because God knows he almost definitely doesn't — but because he knows America needs its president to have at least a ballpark understanding of what they're doing. That's showing up.

Do you think Mitt Romney wanted to beg Donald Trump — a man he accused of "trickle-down racism" — for a position in his cabinet?

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

Do you think Romney wanted to suck up to Trump for a week and take back all the things he said that he almost surely still believes are true? Do you think he wanted to become a demeaning meme? Of course not. But he did it anyway because he's a dedicated public servant who knows his experience at the State Department would be a critical asset to an administration staffed with policy neophytes with wacky ideas. He probably knew that, in all likelihood, Trump wouldn't nominate him. He probably figured there was a chance the whole charade was concocted to humiliate him.

But he showed up and embarrassed himself on the ludicrously off chance Trump might really give him the job, putting an actual decent, thoughtful, qualified person in charge of one of the most important levers of U.S. foreign policy.

That's really showing up.  

5. We need to show up to experiences that burst our filter bubbles.

Photo by Steve Pope.

Showing up at "Hamilton," probably wasn't what you'd expect from Vice President-elect Mike Pence. As a congressman and governor, Pence was notorious for advancing anti-LGBTQ legislation and likely expected that sitting down to watch a musical about the contributions of immigrants to America's founding on Broadway, a capital of LGBTQ culture, would invite controversy. Sure enough, Pence was greeted by a chorus of boos when he appeared in the theater. And after the curtain call, actor Brandon Victor Dixon addressed the vice president-elect, respectfully, but uncompromisingly, from the stage:

"We, sir — we — are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights," Dixon said. "We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us."

But Pence listened and heard him out. And in a post-performance interview on Fox News, Pence said he "wasn't offended by what was said" and described the pre-show booing as "what freedom sounds like."

The musical probably didn't change Pence's mind on much of anything. And the cast's speech hasn't seemed to shift the vice president-elect's rhetoric on immigration, criminal justice reform, or LGBTQ rights. But Pence stepped out of his comfort zone and listened. He deserves at least some credit for that.  

6. And we need to show up to help other people to burst their filter bubbles.

Beyoncé and the Dixie Chicks at the CMAs. Photo by Nick Diamond/Getty Images.

Despite being the uncontested queen of everyone and everything, Beyoncé's performance at November's Country Music Awards became a lightning rod for fans of the genre. Criticisms ran the gamut from political (she's too liberal!) to aesthetic (she's insufficiently country!) to straight-up racist (black people don't belong in country music).

Here's the thing: Beyoncé can perform anywhere she wants. She's arguably the most famous human on the planet. She didn't need to show up to do a free show for people who mostly want her to go away. But she did it anyway. She did it knowing that the audience wouldn't necessarily be friendly to her. True to form, many weren't.

But many others listened, liked what they heard, and had their minds and tastes expanded. More importantly, their idea of what a country singer can look and sound like was forever changed.

It was a brave move for Beyoncé (and for the Dixie Chicks, who backed up Queen Bey, having been shunned by country audiences for their opposition to the Iraq War over a decade ago). Beyoncé leveraged her massive global fame to send a powerful message for inclusion that resonated with millions of viewers.

7. We need to show up now, when it counts, before it's too late.

Do not deny Prince-from-Beyond! Photo by Kristian Dowling/Getty Images.

We lost a lot of great people in 2016. There will never be another Prince, or David Bowie, or Alan Rickman, or Leonard Cohen, or Gwen Ifill, or John Glenn. But in a way, their passings aren't just tragedies — taken together, they're a call to arms.

Life is fleeting. If we want to make the world a better place, we have to get on it ASAP and show up now — not tomorrow, not a week from now, not in April when things calm down or start to feel normal. We all have limited time on Earth, and it matters, now more than ever, what we do with it.

2016 was a bad year for too many people around the world: We can't just wait, commiserate, post rueful memes, and hope that the next year will be better. We all have to go out and make it so.

2017 is coming, whether we want it to or not. Will it be better?

That's up to us.

On July 18, 2016, "Ghostbusters" star Leslie Jones had finally had it.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.


Jones is a fabulous, famous black woman on the internet. So as you can imagine, she's used to a fair share of gross internet comments.

But the online abuse directed at her seemed to really hit a fever pitch this week with the premiere of "Ghostbusters," and it didn't help that Twitter didn't seem to do all that much to stop the influx of harassment.

Instead of ignoring her haters, though, Jones starting sharing some of the awful messages being sent her way on Twitter.

The disgusting remarks — which you can read here (I'm going to keep the energy in this article positive, thank you very much) — was a harsh reminder that yes, sexism and racism are still alive and well.

Jones, being a human being and all, was understandably upset about the hateful sentiments thrown her way.

But while the Internet can be an abysmal place at times, it's worth remembering that kindness has a tendency to save the day.

In response to all the negativity, the hashtag #LoveForLeslieJ started trending on Facebook and Twitter, with thousands of fans expressing their support for the comedian and her badass movie.

Several celebrities chimed in using the #LoveForLeslieJ hashtag to show their support.

Like "Ghostbusters" Director Paul Feig.


Sophia Bush didn't let her love for Leslie go unnoticed.


Anna Kendrick chose to focus on how amazing "Ghostbusters" actually is.


Margaret Cho is confident Jones has a very bright future ahead of her.


Angela Bassett said a lot in just a few characters.


James Corden reminded Jones the love definitely outweighs the hate.


John Boyega sent some serious #MondayMotivation vibes Jones' way.


Brie Larson made it clear she is not here for the haters.


Jada Pinkett Smith encouraged Jones to keep being fabulous.

Elizabeth Banks used four simple words (and an emoji) to express her support.


Kristen Davis committed to standing in solidarity.


Chelsea Peretti went on a caps-lock spree to defeat evil.


Candice Patton encouraged Jones to continue radiating awesomeness.


And Tia Mowry sent out a memo we all could probably use right now: Love wins.


If it wasn't already abundantly clear, the world loves and appreciates you, Leslie Jones.

And no cowardly, mean-spirited tweet can change that.

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.