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Johnny Depp; domestic violence

Johnny Depp.

The world takes a collective breath as the dumpster fire that was the Depp v. Heard trial has come to an end. While some people had no interest in watching the trial, others set up tents in the camps of the actor they found most believable. One conversation emerging from the trial, no matter which side you’re on or how indifferent you feel about the verdict, is that men can be victims of domestic violence too.

If you’re a fan of "Law & Order SVU," you’ve heard of the perfect victim idea. It’s that if the victim isn’t absolutely and unequivocally perfect, they won’t be believed in court or in the public eye. There is some truth to that. Victims come in all shapes and sizes and from many different backgrounds, and the same is true regarding domestic violence victims. Women report being victims of domestic violence at a higher rate and are more likely to die at the hands of their perpetrator than anyone else, especially when they are leaving the relationship or pregnant.


Knowing that women are the most likely victims of domestic abuse doesn’t negate that men can also be abuse victims. For so many people, the perfect victim thought happens automatically—if the man claiming abuse isn’t small framed and timid, they have a hard time being believed. But abuse doesn’t usually start out as physical violence—abuse starts psychologically. The abuser typically starts by saying small things to slowly break a person’s spirit only to gaslight them into believing they’re overreacting. Before long, abusers tend to isolate you from your family and friends as they continue to slowly chip away at your self-confidence. Once they’re sure you aren’t leaving, that’s when the physical abuse starts and the cycle of abuse intensifies.

While for some people it may be difficult to imagine a woman being the abuser of a much larger man, it’s not unheard of. Men are victims of domestic violence and they don’t have to be smaller than their abuser for it to be true. Male victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) are much less likely to report their abuse to the authorities, which makes data a little scarce. But, according to the CDC, approximately 1 in 10 men in the United States experienced sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking. It reports that 97% of men that reported domestic violence only had female partners.

Photo by Salman Hossain Saif on Unsplash

The statistics are staggering, and the CDC is calling IPV against men a significant public health problem. Domestic violence is an issue that needs to be talked about, but we can’t let our bias allow us to jump to conclusions about who the victim is. All victims deserve to feel heard. They deserve to know that people are in their corner and will believe their story, even if the victim doesn’t fit into the image we’ve painted in our minds.

Believing men can be abused by their female partners does not mean that we have to stop believing female victims. Abusers do not care what anatomy you possess. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. Men, women and gender nonconforming people can all be victimized, and this trial has ignited a much-needed conversation on the topic.

via Chewy

Adorable Dexter and his new chew toy. Thanks Chewy Claus.

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Every holiday season, millions of kids send letters asking for everything from a new bike to a pony. Some even make altruistic requests such as peace on Earth or helping struggling families around the holidays.

But wouldn’t the holiday season be even more magical if our pets had their wishes granted, too? That’s why Chewy Claus is stepping up to spread holiday cheer to America’s pets.

Does your dog dream of a month’s supply of treats or chew toys? Would your cat love a new tree complete with a stylish condo? How about giving your betta fish some fresh decor that’ll really tie its tank together?

Or do your pets need something more than mere creature comforts such as life-saving surgery?

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Photo by Jeremy Wong on Unsplash

Teen raises $186,000 to help Walmart worker retire.

In America, many people have to work well past the age of retirement to make ends meet. While some of these people choose to work past retirement age because it keeps them active, some older people, like Nola Carpenter, 81, work out of necessity.

Carpenter has been working at Walmart for 20 years, way beyond most people's retirement age just so that she can afford to continue to pay her mortgage. When 19-year-old Devan Bonagura saw the woman looking tired in the break room of the store, he posted a video to his TikTok of Carpenter with a text overlay that said, "Life shouldn't b this hard..." complete with a sad face emoji.

In the video, Carpenter is sitting at a small table looking down and appearing to be exhausted. The caption of the video reads ":/ I feel bad." Turns out, a lot of other people did too, and encouraged the teen to start a GoFundMe, which has since completed.

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Philadelphia is taking the city back to the past.

Remember when calling your parents, a tow truck or a friend when you were out and about meant digging in your pocket for a quarter to make a pay phone call? Well, a Philadelphia-based collective, PhilTel, is jumping into the past with a modern twist, by installing free-to-use pay phones throughout the city.

Of course, the pay phones that many of us grew up were removed from public places years ago. There no longer seemed to be a need for them when most people had a phone in their pocket or in their hand. But it's easy to forget that not everyone has or wants that luxury. For some people, staying that connected all the time can be too much and for others, it's simply financially impossible to own a cell phone.

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This article originally appeared on 07.22.21


As if a Canada goose named Arnold isn't endearing enough, his partner who came looking for him when he was injured is warming hearts and having us root for this sweet feathered couple.

Cape Wildlife Center in Barnstable, Massachusetts shared the story on its Facebook page, in what they called "a first" for their animal hospital.


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Think all cats are the same? These pictures prove they each have their own personality

Photographer Nils Jacobi shows how cats aren't nearly as aloof as one might think.

All images used with Nils Jacobi's permission. @furryfritz/Instagram

Catographer purrfectly captures cats' purrsonalities.

People often mistakingly attribute a singular personality to cats—usually the words "aloof" or "snobby" are used to describe them. At best, they might be given the "evil genius" label. But in actuality, no two cats are alike. Each has their own distinct ways of being, whether that’s silly, sophisticated, affectionate, downright diabolical or somewhere in between.

This photographer has the pictures to prove it.

Nils Jacobi, better known online as furryfritz, the catographer, has photographed literally thousands upon thousands of cats—from Maine coons who look like they should be in a perfume ad to tabbies in full-on derp mode.
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