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31 celebrities who smashed the stigma surrounding mental illness in 2016.

"Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist."

It may not seem like that big of a deal when a celebrity speaks up about their experiences with mental illness. But it is.

Throughout 2016, dozens of actors, authors, artists, and athletes — trailblazers we're used to seeing smiling on red carpets or snagging gold medals on TV — shared the personal battles they've faced behind closed doors. It was a groundbreaking year.

“It levels the playing field," Aaron Harvey says of the many public figures who chose to speak up. Harvey is the founder of Intrusive Thoughts, a group set on humanizing those living with mental illness. “Suddenly, you realize the same struggles that you have might be the same struggles that someone you really idolize have. And that [makes it] OK."


The stigma surrounding mental illness is taking lives. Many millions of people living with conditions like depression and anxiety are shamed into believing there's something inherently wrong with them — that they're weak, for instance, or even dangerous to others. They suffer in silence because of it.

When a person with a platform becomes a face others can relate to, it becomes a little bit easier for someone else to follow in their footsteps, talk to someone, and get the help they need. Speaking up can save a life.

Here are 31 celebrities who spoke out in 2016 — some of them for the first time — about their experiences living with a mental illness:

1. Actress Kristen Bell wrote about why you can't trust all of your thoughts when you're battling depression.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

"For me, depression is not sadness. It’s not having a bad day and needing a hug. It gave me a complete and utter sense of isolation and loneliness. Its debilitation was all-consuming, and it shut down my mental circuit board. I felt worthless, like I had nothing to offer, like I was a failure. Now, after seeking help, I can see that those thoughts, of course, couldn’t have been more wrong." — Kristen Bell, on living with depression

2. Singer Selena Gomez reminded us that you never really know what's going on in someone else's head.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

"I had to stop. 'Cause I had everything, and I was absolutely broken inside. And I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down, but I kept it too much together, to where I let myself down. I don't want to see your bodies on Instagram, I want to see what's in here. [puts hand on heart] I'm not trying to get validation, nor do I need it anymore. ... If you are broken, you don’t have to stay broken." — Selena Gomez, on living with anxiety and depression

3. Musical artist Kid Cudi got candid about the limitations that living with a mental illness put on his own life.

Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images.

"My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can't make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me?" — Kid Cudi, on living with anxiety and depression

4. Actor Wentworth Miller opened up about becoming the butt of a body-shaming joke amid his struggle to survive.

Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images.

"Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without. Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist." — Wentworth Miller, on living with depression

5. Actress Hayden Panettiere shared with fans that they might be seeing less of her because, first and foremost, she needed to prioritize getting well.

Photo by Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images.

“The postpartum depression I have been experiencing has impacted every aspect of my life. Rather than stay stuck due to unhealthy coping mechanisms, I have chosen to take time to reflect holistically on my health and life. Wish me luck!" — Hayden Panettiere, on living with postpartum depression

6. Singer Zayn Malik penned an essay on why he had to cancel performances due to severe anxiety.

Photo by Willy Sanjuan/Invision/AP.

"The thing is, I love performing. I love the buzz. I don’t want to do any other job. That’s why my anxiety is so upsetting and difficult to explain. It’s this thing that swells up and blocks out your rational thought processes. Even when you know you want to do something, know that it will be good for you, that you’ll enjoy it when you’re doing it, the anxiety is telling you a different story. It’s a constant battle within yourself." — Zayn Malik, on living with anxiety

7. Artist Lady Gaga revealed a secret about her own battles at an event benefitting young homeless teens in New York.

Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images.

"My own trauma in my life has helped me to understand the trauma of others. I told the kids today that I suffer from a mental illness. I suffer from PTSD. I've never told that to anyone before, so here we are." — Lady Gaga, on living with post-traumatic stress disorder

8. NFL wide receiver Brandon Marshall explained why organizing with one another — not hiding away — is crucial for those living with a mental illness.

Photo by Julio Cortez/AP.

“I thought, ‘How many others are out there suffering?’ I tell people all the time, you know, where we’re at in [the mental health] community is where the cancer and HIV community was 20, 25 years ago. So we have to galvanize this community.” — Brandon Marshall, on living with borderline personality disorder

9. Actress Rachel Bloom showed us why we shouldn't let stereotypes about medication dictate whether we should get the proper help we need.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for The Critics' Choice Awards.

"I had gone to therapists, but for the first time I sought out a psychiatrist. In his office I finally felt safe. I told him everything. Each session improved my life. He diagnosed me with low-grade depression and put me on a small amount of Prozac. There’s a stereotype (I had believed) that antidepressants numb you out; that didn’t happen to me." — Rachel Bloom, on living with depression

10. Musical artist Justin Vernon of Bon Iver got real about what a panic attack can actually feel like.

Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images.

“It was like: ‘Oh my god, my chest is caving in, what the f**k is going on?’ I don’t like talking about it, but I feel it’s important to talk about it, so that other people who experience it don’t feel it’s just happening to them.” — Justin Vernon, on living with panic attacks and depression

11. Singer Demi Lovato pointed out the importance of consistently staying on top of your health for the long haul.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

"It’s not something where you see a therapist once or you see your psychiatrist once, it’s something you maintain to make sure that you want to live with mental illness. You have to take care of yourself.” — Demi Lovato, on living with bipolar disorder

12. Actress Lena Dunham opened up about how anxiety affects her day-to-day routines.

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

“I’ve always been anxious, but I haven’t been the kind of anxious that makes you run 10 miles a day and make a lot of calls on your BlackBerry. I’m the kind of anxious that makes you like, ‘I’m not going to be able to come out tonight, tomorrow night, or maybe for the next 67 nights.’” — Lena Dunham, on living with anxiety

13. NFL guard Brandon Brooks discussed the difference between game-day jitters and the type of anxiety he experiences.

Photo by Greg Trott/AP.

“I wanted to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Basically, I found out recently that I have an anxiety condition. What I mean by anxiety condition [is] not nervousness or fear of the game. ... I have, like, an obsession with the game. It’s an unhealthy obsession right now and I’m working with team doctors to get everything straightened out and getting the help that I need and things like that.” — Brandon Brooks, on living with anxiety

14. Actress Evan Rachel Wood spoke out about how our world's tendency to overlook or dismiss certain groups can complicate a person's mental health.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

"For so long, I was ashamed. You’re dealing with the shame that the world has imposed upon you, and then on top of that, the shame of identifying that way. You’re totally looked down upon in and out of the LGBT community. A good way to combat that and the stereotypes is to be vocal." — Evan Rachel Wood, on living with depression and coming out as bisexual

15. Actress Cara Delevingne got real about her early struggles living with a sense of hopelessness.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

"I'm very good at repressing emotion and seeming fine. As a kid I felt like I had to be good and I had to be strong because my mum wasn't. So, when it got to being a teenager and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school — for my parents, not for me — I had a mental breakdown. I was suicidal. I couldn't deal with it any more. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die." — Cara Delevingne, on living with depression

16. Comedian Patton Oswalt laid out the difference between living with depression and surviving the devastation of losing a loved one.

Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP.

“Depression is more seductive. Its tool is: ‘Wouldn’t it be way more comfortable to stay inside and not deal with people?’ Grief is an attack on life. It’s not a seducer. It’s an ambush or worse. It stands right out there and says: ‘The minute you try something, I’m waiting for you.’” — Patton Oswalt, on living with depression and the grief brought on by his wife's death

17. Singer Kesha opened up about what led her to a rehab program focused on treating eating disorders.

Photo by Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images.

"I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible and, to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong." — Kesha, on living with an eating disorder

18. Author John Green wrote about the dangers of romanticizing mental illness.

Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images for Allied-THA.

"Mental illness is stigmatized, but it is also romanticized. If you google the phrase 'all artists are,' the first suggestion is 'mad.' We hear that genius is next to insanity. ... Of course, there are kernels of truth here: Many artists and storytellers do live with mental illness. But many don’t. And what I want to say today, I guess, is that you can be sane and be an artist, and also that if you are sick, getting help  —  although it is hard and exhausting and inexcusably difficult to access  —  will not make you less of an artist." — John Green, on living with depression

19. Musical artist Halsley discussed her attempt at suicide as a teenager.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

“I had tried to kill myself. I was an adolescent; I didn’t know what I was doing. Because I was 17, I was still in a children’s ward. Which was terrifying. I was in there with 9-year-olds who had tried to kill themselves.” — Halsley, on living with bipolar disorder, and once staying in a psychiatric hospital

20. Prince Harry addressed the problem with assuming people who seemingly have their lives in order aren't struggling with an invisible issue.

Photo by Chris Jackson - Pool/Getty Images.

You know, I really regret not ever talking about it. ... A lot of people think if you’ve got a job, if you’ve got financial security, if you’ve got a family, you’ve got a house, all that sort of stuff — everyone seems to think that is all you need and you are absolutely fine to deal with stuff.” — Prince Harry, on living with grief after his mother's death

21. Actress Rowan Blanchard explained why living with a mental illness can be a learning opportunity.

Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images for WE Day.

"I learned this year that happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive. They can exist within me at the same time in the same moment. While also becoming more forgiving of myself and my emotions, I became more forgiving of others, specifically other teenagers." — Rowan Blanchard, on living with depression

22. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps spoke candidly about why even gold medals couldn't truly make him happy.

Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images.

“I went in with no self-confidence, no self-love. I think the biggest thing was, I thought of myself as just a swimmer, and nobody else. ... I was lost, pushing a lot people out of my life — people that I wanted and needed in my life. I was running and escaping from whatever it was I was running from.” — Michael Phelps, on living with mental illness

23. Actress Jenifer Lewis talked about how the AIDS epidemic led her to realize she needed help.

Photo by Jean Baptiste LaCroix/AFP/Getty Images.

"Sometimes I suspected that something was not quite right. Especially during the time when the AIDS epidemic was at its height and my grief was pretty much out of control. No one was talking about bipolar disorder and mental illness back then. I had lost so many friends and loved ones. My spiral into depression was overwhelming; I could not function. That’s when I couldn’t ignore the fact that something was wrong anymore.” — Jenifer Lewis, on living with bipolar disorder

24. Singer Adele highlighted why not each form of mental illness manifests the same way in every person.

Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP.

"My knowledge of postpartum [depression] — or post-natal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. ... It can come in many different forms." — Adele, on living with postpartum depression

25. Actor Jared Padalecki launched a new "I Am Enough" campaign, selling shirts to support initiatives that fight depression and self-harm.

Photo by Chris Frawley/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. via Getty Images.

“I am enough. And you are enough. ... I know I can keep fighting and I know that I’m trying to love myself, but sometimes you feel like you’re not enough. So this message is helping me kind of understand that I am enough — just the way I was made.” — Jared Padalecki, on living with depression

26. Actress Amanda Seyfried nailed why we should be treating mental illness just as seriously as any other disease or condition.

Photo by Lintao Zhang/Getty Images for cle de peau BEAUTE.

"I’m on [antidepressant] Lexapro, and I’ll never get off of it. I’ve been on it since I was 19, so 11 years. I’m on the lowest dose. I don’t see the point of getting off of it. Whether it’s placebo or not, I don’t want to risk it. And what are you fighting against? Just the stigma of using a tool? A mental illness is a thing that people cast in a different category [from other illnesses], but I don’t think it is. It should be taken as seriously as anything else." — Amanda Seyfried, on living with anxiety and depression

27. Musical artist Keke Palmer opened up about how her own mental illness postponed the release of a new album.

Photo by Kimberly White/Getty Images for Glamour.

“I stopped trying all together because I allowed people to make me believe that being an artist meant having big budget music videos and big record producers backing you. When in reality, all being an artist means is to be fearless in your creative pursuits. My anxiety, caused by the habit of unconsciously holding my breath, coupled with the stress of my personal life at that time created a lot of hard years of depression for me.” — Keke Palmer, on living with anxiety

28. Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones said she's in a good place right now, thanks to identifying her struggle and finding the help that was right for her.

Photo by Justin Tallis/AFP/Getty Images.

"Finding out that it was called something was the best thing that ever happened to me! The fact that there was a name for my emotions and that a professional could talk me through my symptoms was very liberating. There are amazing highs and very low lows. My goal is to be consistently in the middle. I’m in a very good place right now." — Catherine Zeta-Jones, on living with bipolar disorder

29. Actor Devon Murray used World Mental Health Day to share his own ups and downs with fans on Twitter.

Photo by Scott Gries/Getty Images.

"I've been battling depression in silence for ten years and only recently spoke about it and [it] has made a huge difference. I had suicidal thoughts this year and that was the kick up the arse that I needed! Open up, talk to people. If you suspect a friend or family member is suffering in silence [reach out] to them. Let them know you care." — Devon Murray, on living with depression

30. Musical artist Jade Thirlwall discussed a dark time in her life that looked picture-perfect from afar.

Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images for Sony Pictures.

"My periods stopped and things were getting out of control, but I don't think I really cared about what was happening to me. I felt so depressed at the time that I just wanted to waste away and disappear. ... It should have been a really happy time — my career was successful, 'Black Magic' was doing well, and we were traveling and performing. On the surface I was happy, but inside I felt broken." — Jade Thirlwall, on battling anorexia

31. Musician Ellie Goulding explained how her panic attacks often came at the worst possible times.

Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images.

"I was skeptical [of going to therapy] at first, because I’d never had therapy, but not being able to leave the house was so debilitating. And this was when my career was really taking off. My surroundings would trigger a panic attack, so I couldn’t go to the studio unless I was lying down in the car with a pillow over my face. I used to beat myself up about it." — Ellie Goulding, on living with anxiety and facing panic attacks

Many celebrities have helped bring the conversation around mental health into the mainstream. But it's on us to make the real change happen.

“While it’s amazing to have celebrities out there blazing trails and introducing a radical new transparency," Harvey notes, "the most important thing is that individual sufferers communicate with their everyday connections. If we really want to make an impact on stigma, it can’t just be a headline."

If you need help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255). If you want to learn more about mental illness, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health.

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.


“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.


Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

a young mother holds her baby

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

A woman holds a newborn baby.

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

A lazy dad versus an attentive father.

Many men say they want kids, but does that mean they also want to take on the full responsibilities of being a father? That’s the big question at the crux of a recent viral TikTok post that everyone who wants kids with a man should consider. The question has traditionally been, “Does he want kids?” but Abby Eckel thinks we must dig deeper.

Abby Eckel is a social media influencer and blogger who discusses women’s rights, focusing on equal division of labor in the home. In her video, she breaks down the differences between the 2 types of men. “Men are taught to want kids, but not how to be dads. There are lots of men that want to have kids. There are fewer men that want to be dads, and it's really important, as women, that we discern between the two, because they're not the same,” Eckel says.

What’s the difference between being a dad and being a father?

“A man that wants kids, he's thinking legacy. He's thinking caring on the family name, having little mini-me's running around, having kids running around, the milestones, the highlight reel,” Eckel continues. “Very few men though, when they think about, ‘I want to be a father’, are they thinking about the daily grind task, the midnight feedings, the diaper changes, the to and from of the inevitable sports that they'll play.”

@abbyeckel

I cannot emphasize these differences enough.

Eckels question is fundamental because if someone mistakes a man saying “I want kids” with “I want to be a father,” they may unwittingly sign themselves up as the default parent in a relationship. They will have to assume the mental load of parenting because dad fails to take any initiative. In this arrangement, the dad simply becomes someone who plays with the kids on occasion and has to be told what to do. This places the default parent in a position where it’s nearly impossible not to develop some resentment for their spouse.

On the other hand, a man who wants to be a father will be proactive and an equal partner in parenting duties.



Eckel believes that a big reason why some men fail to step up and become fathers is because they weren’t taught to be nurturing as children. “We bombard boys with messages about being providers, protectors. But when's the last time you actually saw a boy being taught how to nurture? How many young male babysitters do you have on your roster? I don't have any. How many little boys do you see walking around with a baby doll, feeding her, changing her diaper?” she asked.

The post resonated with many of Eckel’s followers, who think there are a lot of men out there who aren’t stepping up and taking responsibility. “Same for being married. Do they just want a wife, or do they want to BE a husband,” Dana wrote. “Being a Father and being a Dad are 2 different things. Your father is the person who helped create you, your dad is the man who helped raise you. They're not always the same person,” Izzie added.

“If you really want to see how a family acts, go to any theme park and watch a family of three or more. You can see just how much the mother goes through in a day with the kids while the father eats snacks,” Athena commented.

Ultimately, Eckel says the difference between a dad and a father is someone who takes initiative. “So, before you have kids with a man, watch how they handle responsibility. Do they take initiative on things, or are they always sitting back waiting for you to tell them what to do? Do they notice what needs to be done without being asked?” she explained.

Wellness

Star neuroscientist Andrew Huberman breaks down two simple exercises to improve vision

The eyes are muscles like any other and need both stimulation and relaxation.

Canva

Treat the eyes like a muscle. Give them exercise and relaxation.

We spend a lot of time looking at things up close, particularly our screens. For many of us, it’s the first thing we look at in the morning, the last thing we look at before going to sleep, and the thing we look at most during all those hours in between. According to a study commissioned by Vision Direct, the average American will spend 44 years looking at a screen. You read that right. Over. Four. Decades.

Really, it’s no wonder that eyesight has worsened. Experts have declared that myopia, aka nearsightedness, has grown to an epidemic level. In addition, we suffer more headaches and migraines, get poor sleep, and tend to feel more fatigued.

Luckily, there are a few things we can do to help, whether we boast 20/20 vision or are already constantly squinting.


Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, well known for his podcast “Huberman Lab,” breaks down all kinds of science-based life hacks for health, wellness, and fitness.

In addition to studying the brain, one of Huberman’s main research topics is vision. In a video, Huberman shares two simple exercises that can dramatically help improve eyesight.

First and foremost, we need to allow our vision to relax.

You can’t do this just by looking up from your computer screen. Instead, Huberman suggests going to a window and looking out at a point in the distance. Ideally, you would open the window because windows filter out a lot of the blue light and sunlight that you want during the daytime. Better yet, go to a balcony, relax your eyes, and look out at the horizon. This allows the eyes to relax and go into panoramic vision, relieving stress and fatigue.

According to Huberman, you should be doing some kind of relaxation of the eyes, face, and jaw for every 30 minutes of focused work—which works out to at least every 90 minutes.

Second, stimulate the eyes by focusing on motion.

Smooth pursuit is our natural ability to track individual objects moving through space. You can train or improve your vision simply by stimulating this mechanism. To do this, Huberman suggests taking a few minutes each day or every three days to visually track a ball. Or, get outside and watch objects move around. Think swooping birds, falling leaves, etc. If you couldn’t tell, Huberman is a big proponent of going outside.

Bottom line: Our eyes are muscles. Just like our biceps, they need stimulation and relaxation, and while we might not be able to get this kind of nourishment from our tiny screens, nature provides.

This article originally appeared last year.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
baby's white and black bassinet

Giving birth is one of the sweetest and most transformational life events. But for mothers who deliver angel babies (those who do not make it through delivery or pass shortly after birth), it becomes utterly devastating. To comfort mothers during this heart aching time, a labor and delivery nurse decided to create a comforting gift for grieving mothers to bring home.

"POV: your patient just gained an angel baby 🪽 and you make sure she doesn't go home empty handed," she writes in the video as she cuts baby blankets into the shape of a heart. "So you get to work. Measure out rice the exact birth weight of her angel. And start to make a casing out of her baby blanket."

@thelabornursern

#grief #loss #fetalloss #pregnancy #labordeliverynurses #laboranddelivery #griefandloss #laboranddeliverynurse #nursing #nursesoftiktok #nursetok #nurselife

The camera pans to three bags of dry rice placed on the baby blanket. From there, she begins to sew the blanket that is filled with rice. "Sutures to sew the fabric," she adds, with footage of herself hand-stitching every seam of the blanket. "It's almost ready 🪽 Then we fill the casing with rice, measured to her baby's birth weight so she will always have this to hold onto."

The video ends with a final look at the filled and finished pillow. "Time to give it to her ❤️🪽" she adds.

And the heartfelt gesture received such a positive response from her followers and mothers of angel babies. "as a momma of an angel baby, you are doing so much more than you can ever think by doing this! bless you ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As a mama who left the hospital without my baby, thank you THANK YOU. I felt so alone leaving the hospital, held my belly the entire ride home then walked into a home full of baby stuff and no baby."

And another angel baby mom shared, "As a stillbirth mama, leaving the hospital without my baby was torture. Having something weighted to hold would have brought comfort. You're so sweet for making this!!! 💗💗"

The aching experience was described by another angel mom in the comments. "My son was stillborn earlier this year. One thing I could have never anticipated was how much my arms literally ached to hold him. Our bodies do not understand our baby died, and we instinctually need something to hold. This is such a beautiful gift," she commented.

The TikTok community expressed interest in donating sewing machines to help her, so she shared an informative video with her followers on how they can donate to their local hospitals' labor and delivery units.

https://www.tiktok.com/@thelabornursern/photo/7435010215562480938 [THIS IS COMING UP AS AN ERROR WHEN I TRY TO INSERT?]

In another video update, she shared with her followers that she purchased a portable sewing machine to streamline the sewing process of the blankets. "I ordered a portable sewing machine to keep in my locker! And a few of my coworkers want to get together once a month and premake these for our unit."

TikTok · thelabornursern

TikTok · thelabornursernwww.tiktok.com

9732 likes, 57 comments. “Replying to @Rachel Wagner”

She added, "So many of you wanted to jump in and donate, and that is faith in humanity restored. Thank you to each and every one from the bottom of my heart."


@thelabornursern

Replying to @Mykal it was my first time using this, and you were right Mykal it is a little difficult to use. it threw me for a loop so ill be practicing until I can do it blind folded

"Here's an update on the portable sewing machine that I got. It actually is really hard to use...it will definitely take some practice, but I'll get it," she says in the voiceover.

The kind gesture by this labor and delivery nurse made a deep impact, spurring angel baby moms to share their stories and the real impact her empathy has created.

Men respond with 'I'm fine' for heartbreaking reasons

Society often portrays men as logical creatures who are good problem solvers because they don't have all these emotions that get in the way. It's something that's often wielded as this superpower that men have over their female counterparts. This isn't anything of men's doing, at least not men from the last several generations.

This "logical non-emotional" stereotype was thrust upon them in much the same way as the stereotype that women are "too emotional" and borderline hysterical when things don't go their way. There's no getting around bumping into this general thought process or at least the remnants of it on a near daily basis. Because it's so prevalent in societal norms in much of the western world, men and women subconsciously internalize these things.

But anyone who has raised both genders are aware that boys and girls are equally as emotional, it's just that they start receiving very different messages about that emotionality from a very early age. Starting around preschool age boys begin to hear, "big boys don't cry" while they watch their younger sister or classmate receive comforting and kind words when they begin to cry. When it comes to young girls, they're often given more responsibilities at an earlier age whether it's teachers picking girls more often for "classroom helper" or parents focusing more on their daughter cleaning up after themselves than their sons because "boys are messy."

Toughen Up Pop Tv GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy

Many examples of this exist so before too long it would seem that both genders are getting gendered messaging about themselves and each other. But in recent years there has been a shift in people wanting men to get in touch with their emotions as to not feed into the societal American norm of toxic masculinity. This focus on men's emotional well-being comes on the heels of research showing the harmful effects of enforcing restrictive gender roles. According to United Way, "restrictive gender norms often limit children’s potential and opportunities, affect their self-esteem and mental health, and shape their relationships with peers."

As society shifts to be more flexible with gender norms, men are beginning to not only admit to having feelings other than anger or happiness, but are expressing them. Or at least, they're attempting to express them according to the overwhelming repetitive response to a question posed on Reddit. A user asks, "men, why do you say you're fine when you're not" and the answers were heartbreaking.

Im Fine Episode 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy

One person responds with, "Because I think most believe that nobody truly gives a f*ck," which was quickly backed up by others with personal stories.

Another shares, "Honestly, no one really listens. You get about five words in and people decide where they think you’re going with this. Then they talk about that thing instead of what you’re talking about no matter what you say. Its usually easier for me to work through and process things myself than put the effort into fighting to be understood."

"My wife and I are having this problem right now. She finally blew up at me and said I don't talk to her anymore and I told her it's because she doesn't listen. I'll explain my thoughts or intentions in deep detail, but after the first 10 words or so she thinks she totally understands and tunes out everything else. Which ends up being cyclical, because she'll get mad that I didn't tell her something when in fact I did. Just easier to not say anything at all at this point, or keep answers to one subject and 10 words or less," someone chimes in adding to the sentiment of not being heard.

Season 3 Hug GIF by Black SailsGiphy

One man explains the rules he has learned, "My entire life as a man, I've been taught two things. I need to be coming up with solutions to problems. And if I'm not useful, I'm useless. The moment I ask for help or show that I need help with a problem rather than being the one helping with a problem, I am then regarded as the problem. When I am the problem, I'm not useful; see above."

Another reveals expressing emotions results in him comforting others, "Because if I tell you I'm not fine, it inexplicably somehow turns into me trying to comfort and reassure you. No, it's not because of you. No I'm not mad that you thought this was all about you. Well you shouldn't feel guilty. I'm sorry you're upset now. Of course I still love you. I'm sorry for upsetting you, honey. No, I promise I'm fine. Everything is perfect."

Men are listening to women and others telling them to open up about their emotions but their seems to be an important component missing. There are therapists that specialize in helping men achieve emotional intelligence and communication of their emotional needs. But it will take further shifting in societal consciousness to recognize when men are being vulnerable with their needs.

This isn't just a men problem, it's a social conditioning problem that needs to be dismantled as one person points out by saying, "ironically sometimes women still subconsciously carry the sexist belief that men should have better control over their emotions." Unlearning something that is ingrained in all aspects of society takes time as does learning to tap into and express feelings that were once equated to weakness. Everyone is learning and giving grace and understanding can go a long way to figuring things out.