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The original Aunt Viv opened up about how Will Smith 'ruined' her career for being 'difficult'

The original Aunt Viv opened up about how Will Smith 'ruined' her career for being 'difficult'

Being labeled as "difficult" because you refuse to accept a bad situation is almost a rite of passage for women. Unfortunately, that difficult label – whether deserved or not – can make or break a woman's success. A study conducted at the University of Hamburg's Department of Economics found, "[D]islikability hurts women] more than likeability helps" and "women significantly suffer from the variation in likability and achieve overall worse outcomes than men."

The drama between Will Smith and Janet Hubert (aka the O.G. Aunt Viv) behind the scenes on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has been the subject of copious nostalgia-themed click-bait articles. Hubert was reportedly fired for being "difficult" and replaced with Daphne Maxwell Reid after season three, but the real story behind Hubert's departure is sadly too familiar to many women in the workplace where likeability sometimes factors into a woman's performance more than competence or fairness.

During the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Reunion Special on HBOMax, Hubert sat down with Smith to talk about what really happened for the first time in 27 years. Hubert revealed she grappled with a challenging personal life during her time on the show, which affected her behavior on set. While Hubert was never unprofessional, she was just withdrawn, which is for some reason a problem? "I was no longer laughing, smiling, joking because there were things that were going on that nobody knew about. The cast had no idea what was going on," Hubert said.

In a weird way, it almost makes it worse. Hubert wasn't punished for histrionics or harassing her co-stars. She was punished for not being affable at a time when she shouldn't even be expected to be affable.

Hubert also put to bed rumors that she was fired from the show for that "bad" behavior. "They offered me this really bad deal in the third season. They said, 'You've got two months and two weeks of work, and you cannot work anywhere else.' That meant my salary was cut. I had a new baby and a husband who was out of work, so I said no. I did not accept their offer," Hubert explained.

Hubert revealed she felt Smith was responsible for pushing her off of the show, and he hurt her career when he branded her with a scarlet difficult. "But you took all of that away from me — with your words. Words can kill. I lost everything. Reputation. Everything. And I understand you were able to move forward, but you know those words, calling a Black woman difficult in Hollywood, is the kiss of death. And it's hard enough being a dark-skinned Black woman in this business," Hubert said.

Smith acknowledged his own part in the way Hubert was treated, and is able to see how he "made things very difficult" for Hubert. At the time, Smith was 21-years-old and felt as if "everything was a threat," saying he was neither "sensitive" nor "perceptive" to what Hubert was going through in her personal life. "I was so driven by fear," Smith admitted. Smith also said he felt as if Hubert hated him.

Now, Smith knows better. "I have children. I've been divorced and I have a second marriage, and I can see now the level of pain and the level of struggle that it was just for you to show up every day."

Huber and Smith hugged and made up, forgiving each other for the mistakes of the past. Smith said, "You're still my Aunt Viv" and Hubert was reunited with the rest of the cast, meeting Reid for the first time.



A lot has changed in the 30 years since the show first aired. Transparent conversations, such as the one between Hubert and Smith, are more commonplace and accepted. By having conversations like this, more people can understand some of the misogyny involved in earning a "difficult" label, and how sometimes the person who bears it isn't difficult at all.

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Underpaid teachers reveal they taught while hungry after mom cries over undecorated classroom

"My 1st year I made 27K and my room was empty."

Photo credit: Canva

Teachers reveal they taught hungry after mom cries over empty classroom

It's August, which means a lot of kids have either started school already or are heading back. The back-to-school month also means an influx of parents voicing their grievances on the internet. Everything from not wanting their children to share school supplies to the teacher's wish list items. What is typically an exciting time for children can be a stressful time for parents and teachers for different reasons.

One disappointed mom took to the internet in tears due to the lack of classroom decor in her child's classroom for "meet the teacher." It could be that this is the mom's first time sending a little one off to school, as to the reason she didn't know that there would likely be more decorating happening before the first day of school. Either way, her tearful reaction to the lack of decorations caused a few teachers to reveal the reality they face.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Overwhelmed with emotion.Photo credit: Canva

Most teachers, especially those of little ones, want to have their classrooms decked out in all the colorful, age-appropriate decor, but in reality, that costs money. Often, money neither teachers nor the school districts have. This is why public school teachers have wish lists that they pass out before the first day of school; some even create Amazon lists so people outside of their district can help. It's a pretty common understanding that teachers don't make a lot of money, but for some parents, just how little teachers make may be overlooked.

A teacher who goes by Mrs. Frazzled on social media recently reacted to the post of the crying mom. In this case, the teacher lived up to her social media moniker because what followed was more PG-13 than her usual content. Someone who goes by the name Kubi responded to Mrs. Frazzled's rant with an eye-opening reality, "My first year as a teacher I made 27K and my room was empty because I could[n't] afford to buy things for it. and I didn't even get my first check until 30 days in so I taught HUNGRY the first month."

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.Photo credit: Canva

The confession prompted Mrs. Frazzled to commiserate with her own, revealing, "I also taught hungry my first year of teaching. That's part of why this whole thing made me so freaking mad. I'll tell you my story as a first-year teacher because it is not a unique story by any means, clearly."

She goes on to share that student teaching isn't paid and comes at the end of teaching certification, which requires soon-to-be-teachers to teach during the day for free, then attend classes at night. This essentially means there's no feasible way for student teachers to make enough money to cover living expenses unless they forego their sleep. Mrs. Frazzled says that in the spring of her student teaching, she had a major life event that resulted in her looking for a new place to live on virtually no income.

@mrs.frazzled Replying to @Kubi ♬ original sound - frazz

"On the heels of this happening, I'm starting my first year as a teacher. And you do not get paid for the first month that you teach, so nine months, no work. Summer, very minimal work. Then you start school, and you need to have a fully furnished and ready classroom, because if you've seen a government-sponsored classroom, you know it is very barren in there."

The woman reveals that she couldn't afford to live in the area where she taught, so her commute was anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. She also confesses that the only reason she had anything in her classroom was because "parents kinda carried me on my back financially." They purchased the things she needed, including a big, colorful rug that can run well over $500.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

"My first month of teaching, I was so stinking poor. I had a mattress on the floor, no refrigerator. I had a couch that I dumpster dove for, and I was driving Postmates after school so that I could get like $12 to buy dinner or whatever. I remember crying because I needed Q-Tips and I couldn't afford Q-Tips. I had to go Postmates for hours to make enough to buy Q-Tips. This is the reality of teaching in the United States," Mrs. Frazzled shares.

It's a reality check that some parents may not be ready to hear when their expectations fall short of the reality teachers are living. Feeling disappointed when something doesn't meet your expectations is understandable, but when it comes to classroom decor and supplies, it takes a village.

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A girl signed a pro soccer contract but trolls ruined her big moment. She got the last laugh.

The soccer world came to her defense, and then Skye Stout showed her stuff on the pitch.

Canva Photos

A 16-year-old pro soccer player had her big moment stolen by bullies, but fans came to her defense.

The life of a professional athlete can be exciting, even glamorous at times, but it also comes with a great deal of public criticism. When they screw up on the field or bungle a question from the media, they're bound to hear about it from angry fans. Especially high-profile athletes make headlines with every move, and every misstep, they make. It comes with the territory.

One big difference between male and female athletes, however, is that women also have to deal with critiques about their appearance. Lucky them! They'll get bullied for not being attractive enough, and also, somehow, for being too attractive. It's truly impossible for women in sports to avoid lewd reactions from (mostly male) fans.

But you'd think sports fans would have the common decency to not stoop so low as to bully a teenager for her appearance. Sadly, that's exactly what happened to 16-year-old Skye Stout.

Stout was recently signed to a professional contract with the Scottish football club Kilmarnock FC. At 16, that's a huge accomplishment and should have been an incredible moment for Stout and her family.

When the club officially announced her signing, however, cruel fans mercilessly mocked the girl's skin condition in comments and responses. The bullying got so bad that Kilmarnock had to remove the post altogether. According to AOL, Stout even deleted photos and videos on her own accounts that linked her to the team, just to make the hateful comments stop.

The whole ordeal was incredibly heartbreaking.

When word spread about the negative response, the soccer and women's sports communities decided to step up in support of Skye. The show of love was absolutely overwhelming.

One post from Soccer Girl and TOGETHXR was seen by millions of people, racking up a staggering 170,000 Likes and thousands of warm comments.

"16-year-old Skye Stout got her pro signing with @kilmarnockladiesfc overshadowed by online bullying from a bunch of men’s soccer fans and the post was taken down. Let’s give her a proper redo and show her just how positive, supportive and incredible the women’s football space really is ... Congratulations on signing your first professional contract Skye! We can’t wait to see where this journey takes you!!" the post read.

"I’ve never met a hater doing better than me. Keep going girl, keep doing your thing!!!!! MORE LIFE" one commenter said.

"Sky! You are amazing and beautiful ! All your hard work and dedication has paid off! Enjoy this moment. Well-deserved," wrote another.

"Let's not call them men, because real men wouldn't do that. Thrilled for this young woman!!! Forget those boys; they are way out of their league in so many ways," someone added.

"How you going to hate from outside the club??? You can’t even get in!!!! Hater gone hate. Go Skye Go! Incredible," wrote another new Skye Stout fan.

The story especially struck a cord with others who've dealt with bullying related to acne and skin conditions.

At this point, it's almost impossible to find a photo of Stout or the Kilmarnock FC on social media that isn't flooded with supportive and loving comments from fans.

As for Stout herself, she reportedly said she was going to let her skills do the talking for her.

Impressively, she was able to shake off the controversy and deliver a terrific performance in her pro debut for Kilmarnock FC.

At one point in the game, Stout took a free kick and sank it perfectly into the corner of the net for her first pro goal. Talk about shutting up the haters!

It's been amazing to see the sports world rally around this young girl and celebrate her incredible talent and accomplishments. Sadly, bullying and crass comments from fans is something she may have to deal with at various points throughout her career. But for right now, Stout can focus on being proud of what she's achieved and scoring as many goals for her team as possible. Go Skye!

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Woman gives stray cat the most Gen X name ever, and her friend can't stand it

As if?

via Canva/Photos

A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”


When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.


The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.


It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

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Woman shares her therapist's incredibly helpful mental health hack: 'Run the dishwasher twice'

The advice sounds strange, but it's brilliant.

Achim Thiemermann from Pixabay, Natasha G from Pixabay, Danielle Wunker/Facebook

Dirty dishes and clean dishes.

"Run the dishwasher twice" might sound like strange mental health advice, but a viral post is proving that it's actually quite helpful.

Danielle Wunker, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor, shared a story on her Facebook page that is resonating with people who struggle with mental health issues. It originally came from an answer from Katie Scott on Quora to the question "Has a therapist ever told you something completely unexpected?"

It reads:

"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn't get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by. I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn't have much to 'bring' to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

'What are you struggling with?' he asked. I gestured around me and said 'I dunno man. Life.' Not satisfied with my answer, he said 'No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?'

upset man, stressed man, unhappy man, man alone, anxiety Man sitting on chair covering his eyes.Photo by christopher lemercier on Unsplash


I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn't want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.

But I didn't.

So I told him, 'Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN'T do them because I'll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can't stand and scrub the dishes.'

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I'm whining to my therapist about dishes?

But he nodded in understanding and then said:

'Run the dishwasher twice.'


dishes, dish washer, plates, pots, pans, glasses Dishwasher and dishes.via commons.wikimedia.org

I began to tell him that you're not supposed to, but he stopped me.

'Why the hell aren't you supposed to? If you don't want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist.'

It blew my mind in a way that I don't think I can properly express. That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the f**k they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again. Now that I'm in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

There are no rules.

Run the dishwasher twice."

washing dishes, dish washer, woman doing dishes, sink A woman washing dishes.via Canva/Photos

"For me it is not exactly that there are no rules, but I ask myself 'Whose rules are these?' 'Do I want them to be mine or can I come up with better ones?' No rules might work for some folks, but I like a little structure, the structure I supply and can alter if it is not working." Sam wrote in the comments.

"That is brilliant! Thank you for sharing that profound story. Isn’t it amazing how often we miss the faulty assumption that is stymying us? I’m glad to hear you are in a much better place now," Charlie added.

Anyone who has been in a mental or emotional place where even just the most basic, mundane tasks seem overwhelming understands the wisdom in this lesson. Dishes might seem like such a minor detail of life, but those kinds of minor details can be the straw that breaks the camel's back mentally. If you've never stared at a basket of laundry that would take three minutes to fold and thought, "Nope, can't do it. Not now. Maybe not ever..." then you may not need this lesson, but there are millions of people who appreciate the express permission to let go of the rules in our heads about how things have to be done.

Adjusting expectations and arbitrary ideas about how something works is incredibly freeing and can provide a seemingly temporary fix for a seemingly insurmountable problem. Oddly enough, though, that temporary fix can be the necessary bridge that gets someone from unable to cope with daily life things to functioning on a somewhat normal level.

Mental health is such a tricky thing to manage, and many of the tools for managing it run counter to what we might expect. That's what therapists are for—to help us step outside the box of our own brains, adjust our thoughts and behaviors to create greater possibilities for ourselves, and give us permission to reject the negative voices in our head try to keep us locked in unhelpful or unhealthy patterns.

Even when that unhelpful pattern is as simple as letting the dishes pile up instead of running the dishwasher twice.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Communications expert shares the 7-word phrase to shoot down anyone being disrespectful

Try this method next time someone says something rude.

via Canva/Photos

A woman can't believe what she just heard.

Getting caught off guard by a rude comment from a coworker, family member, or total stranger can throw you for a loop. You immediately start wondering how you should respond. Should I insult the person right back or play it cool without stooping to their level? Everyone is going to be thrown by a disrespectful comment at some point, so it’s good to have a response in your back pocket for that moment when it comes.

Communications expert Jefferson Fisher provided a great response that we can all use recently on the Mel Robbins Podcast. Fisher is a Texas board-certified personal injury attorney and one of the most respected voices on argumentation and communication in the world. He is also the bestselling author of The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More.

@melrobbins

If you've ever wondered if there's a correct way to respond to disrespect, try out this method from lawyer and communication expert, @Jefferson Fisher. Check out this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, for more communication tips from Jefferson! 🎧 “How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power.” #melrobbins #melrobbinspodcast #communicationtips #dealingwithdisrespect

How to respond to a rude or disrespectful comment

Fisher told Robbins that the first step in responding to the comment is nonverbal. You say nothing. “A lot of silence. So often, if you just wait 10 seconds that you're gonna add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond,” Fisher said. “They're saying this to get something out of you, cause in that moment, they're feeling something, whether it's a fear or an insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are.”

The next step is to let the rude person know that their behavior will not be tolerated in a confident manner.

“So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward, and then you're going to say something to the effect of, ‘That's below my standard for a response.’ All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.”

disrespect, rude communications, social skills, silence, how to respond, bad comment A woman covering her mouth.via Canva/Photos

Throw it back on them

If you prefer to put someone back on their heels instead of squelching the situation as Fisher recommends, John Bowe, a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of DisconnectionI Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of Disconnection, says that you should respond with a question: “Do you really mean that?”

“Say it with outrage or dripping sarcasm, with raised eyebrows or deadpan calm. It doesn’t matter. This phrase is quietly disarming and deceptively powerful,” Bowe writes for CNBC. Bowe says the response does two great things for you. First, it gives them a chance to reconsider their words because most rude comments are said without thinking. “By responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you’re holding up a mirror. Often, that’s all it takes for the other person to walk back their offense,” he writes.


After the person is asked if they meant what they said, they can double down on their rude comment, but they are probably more likely to backpedal or apologize.

Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that, unless you live under a rock, you’ll have to deal with people making rude comments. But the best thing you can do is to prepare yourself to confidently put someone in their place so they’ll think twice about ever being rude to you again.

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