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It took 3 minutes for a child to tell David Letterman a 'knock knock' joke but it totally delivers

"Is mom tired all the time?"

YouTube, Dan Giller

Kids join David Letterman to tell jokes.

In 1992, David Letterman invited some kids from P.S. 144 in Queens to tell jokes on his show. Adorably, the children lined up on the stage next to him while he began his introduction. "You know, ladies and gentlemen. It always gives us a great deal of pleasure…"

As seen in a clip remaking the rounds on social media, he is quickly sidetracked by a bouncing boy with a bowl cut pointing and yelling. Letterman asks, "How would you like a sedative?" The boy jumps even higher, starts clapping, and says something unintelligible. Letterman replies, "Alright. One second here, son. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the new Howie Mandel."

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Now the boy is super-charged. Not unlike Animal from The Muppets (the red fiery drummer), he begins flopping his hair around, pointing to himself and grunting. He gives him the old Three Stooges "Why I oughta" fists. To which Letterman says dryly, "Bless your heart."

Letterman begins again. "It always gives us great pleasure to introduce our audience to new comedic talent." The boy keeps jumping as Letterman continues. "Tonight is no exception. Here they are, from the neighboring borough of Queens, New York, it's the kids of…" The boy now slaps his knees while bouncing, once again distracting Letterman from his introduction.

The Muppets, Animal, jokes, kids, Letterman Animal drums on The Muppet Show. Giphy

The young boy next to him advises him to "calm down." This prompts Letterman to ask, "Is mom tired all the time?" This is met with huge laughter, while the boy seems to look for his mother off stage. Letterman turns back and jokes, "I can see where she might need the occasional nap."

"Here they are," he continues, "the kids of P.S. 144, ladies and gentlemen." The boy bounces and settles into a Hulk pose, reminiscent of Chris Farley in his SNL days. "Okay," says Letterman. "Is there a Peter Howard in this group?" And wouldn't you know, that's our bouncing dude who exclaims, "Yes," now reaching new heights with his bounce. "What a stroke of luck right off the bat!"

chris farley, comedian, hulk, comedy, gif chris farley strikes a pose. Giphy

The boy, whose name we now know is Peter, can barely contain himself. "Peter, what grade are you in?" He screams "6!" which Letterman is able to understand as first grade. He's asked if he goes to school with the other kids and he looks down the line and says, "I recognize Alana and Charlie."

Things now take a turn. Letterman then clarifies Peter's age, which he screams "Six and a half! Dummy!" Thems fightin’ words. Letterman continues, "Peter, I understand you have a little…" Peter starts to literally wiggle. "Who gave you money for the candy machine?" Everyone, including the other kids, laugh uproariously.

Finally. "Peter, we understand you're gonna tell us a joke." He screams, "Two of them and they're knock knocks!" He begins, "Knock knock." Letterman answers, "Who's there?" And it would appear Peter has forgotten who, in fact, is there. So, he says it again: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Atch." "Atch who?" For a moment, Peter has forgotten again, but recovers like any well-seasoned comedian. "God bless you!"

"Very nice, Peter," Letterman replies, as Peter now seems to be playing air guitar. "We don't have time for the second joke." Again, Letterman gets the fists. Before he can even say "Okay," Peter has yelled, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Madame." "Madame who?" And here's where Peter brings it home. "My damn foot is stuck in the damn door."

Letterman then moves Peter over so the other (extremely patient) children can get their moment in the sun. "Lock up the equipment, boys," Letterman says as Peter inches over closer to the crew.

Next up is Charlie, who has a much calmer disposition. His joke? "What do you get when you cross a dentist in a boat? The tooth fairy." Anton gives him a much-deserved drum rim shot. "Thank you very much," Letterman says as he shakes Charlie's hand. "You have to stand next to Peter now." We hear Peter off screen screaming as Letterman moves on.

Katie is up next, and she tells Letterman she's ten and a half. After he compliments her earrings, it's time for the joke: "What do you get with a thousand bunnies in a line jumping backwards?" It's low-hanging fruit, but Letterman takes it. Pointing to Peter, he says, "That guy over there?" Peter laughs and screams, to which Letterman replies, "Okay. We'll talk about your diet later." Katie repeats the premise. The punchline? "A receding 'hare' line." The crowd goes wild.

bunnies, jumping, comedy, bouncing, jokes Hopping white rabbits. Giphy Spacehead

Next, we have Alana, who appears to be the youngest of the group. She's six and in kindergarten, which she says she enjoys. Her big blue eyes widen as it's time for her joke: "There's a little man in my hands. Will you please hold his jacket?" Letterman asks, "Where's his jacket?" She mimes handing him the little man, which he pretends to hold. "What do you want him to do? Sing, act or dance?" "Sing," Letterman answers. She replies, deadpan, "You want him to sing? I'll ask him." She pretends to hold the little man up to her ear. "He doesn't want to sing." Letterman leans in and says, "I'll give him $100 if he sings."

She tries to steer him in the right direction. "You want him to act?" Letterman agrees and again, she says, "I'll ask him." She does. "He doesn't want to act." He turns to the audience and says, "This is like every meeting I've ever had with NBC programming." She asks, "Do you want him to dance? I'll ask him." She does. "He doesn't want to dance." Letterman asks her, "What should we do?" To which she responds, "Do you really believe there's a little man in my hand?" "With all my heart," he replies. She stares at him for a long beat in which Letterman realizes he has responded incorrectly. "No, I don’t believe there's a man in your hand." Here we go. "Then why are you holding his jacket?"

This is a long-game joke, perhaps influenced by the likes of an absurdist like Norm Macdonald.

Last in line is Leonard Davis. "So it's come down to this. Leonard, how old a person are you?" He answers, "Thirteen," which he explains puts him in sixth grade. "What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?" Letterman repeats the question and adds, "I have no idea." Leonard brings it home. "Snowballs!" This gets a giant applause break, to which Letterman says, "There are kids here!"

snow man, snow, comedy, kids, jokes A snow man spreads out his arms. Giphy Chippy the Dog

He looks down the line and, referencing Peter who has never stopped jumping, says, "I want to thank most of you for being here tonight." An absolute classic and the crowd goes wild.

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Ryan Reynolds shared how his three brothers 'saved' him when he secretly got his ear pierced

Brotherly love at its finest.

Photo by Gage Skidmore (CC BY-SA 2.0.)

In some families, getting an earring when you're young is no big deal, but in others it's a big no-no. Some people have feelings about body-altering choices wrapped up in beliefs about age-appropriateness, assumptions or judgments about what certain choices mean or simply old-fashioned norms and expectations.

For whatever reason, Ryan Reynolds' dad was not a fan of him getting an earring at age 12. But that didn't stop him from doing it.

Reynolds shared the story about how his brothers unexpectedly saved him from his dad's wrath over his getting an earring on David Letterman's "My Next Guest Needs No Introduction." In typical Ryan Reynolds' fashion, it's a funny story, but also super heartwarming.

Reynolds explained that he had a rebellious period when he was about 12 years old and decided to get an earring for reasons he can't really recall. "I don't know. Wham! was big," he told Letterman.

"My brothers said, 'You're gonna die. You're gonna show up at dinner tonight and there will be a messy stabbing death because Dad will take one of the utensils and stab you,'" Reynolds said.

Nonetheless, he and his friend went to "Sears or wherever the hell you go" to get the piercing, his friend's mom signed the consent form (bold move, friend's mom) and the deed was done.

"I remember my face being so flush with blood and heat thinking about this impending disaster that was about to happen," he said, "and also really kind of rooting and sitting in that rebellion of the moment, too, like I'm doing something for me, I'm standing up to this."

He got to the dinner table, anxious and sweating, and could feel his dad's gaze. Then his dad uttered some kind of swear word (something like "you f*@ks,'" he said) and when Reynolds looked up he saw what his three brothers had done for him.

"It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life," he said.

Watch Reynolds tell the sweet tale:

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Comedians are responding to Norm Macdonald's tragic passing with an outpouring of love

Image via Wikicommons

Fellow comedians are responding to Macdonald's passing

The world of stand-up comedy is not known to be kind. Competition usually wins over comradery. But when news of beloved "Weekend Update" anchor and comedian Norm Macdonald broke yesterday, that stereotype was turned on its head, as love poured out from fellow comedians across social media.




Norm's success was prolific to say the least. In addition to his stand-up and SNL career, MacDonald appeared in numerous films, including Grown Ups, Dr. Dolittle, Jack and Jill, Billy Madison, Funny People, Screwed, and The Animal. He also appeared in various late-night talk shows including Late Night With Conan O'Brien and Late Night with David Letterman, and even had his own sitcom, The Norm Show, as well as a talk show for one season on Netflix back in 2018.


The Norm Show (Norm) - Season 1 Episode 1 (Norm and the Prototype)www.youtube.com

A true comedy genius, Norm could make even the most convoluted story funny, as seen in Norm's unforgettable "Moth Joke" with Conan O'Brien.

Norm MacDonald's Moth Jokewww.youtube.com



O'Brien was one of the first to react to the news of Norm's death, praising him as "the most unique comic voice I have ever encountered" and lamenting that "I will never laugh that hard again."

Bob Saget, who Norm famously roasted, also sent a tweet sharing how he and Norm met, "he was in my audience at 17 years old," and went on to say " no other voice in comedy has been as unique, brazen, brazen, dark, hilarious, and heartfelt."

Jim Carrey, who appeared on Norm's live show, gave heartfelt mourning, saying, "my dear friend Norm passed after a brave 10 year battle...He was one of our most precious gems...I love him."

But the tributes don't stop there. Comedy greats like Steve Martin, all the Seths (McFarland, Rogan, and Meyers), Adam Sandler, Patton Oswalt, Jon Stewart and even Bob Odenkirk-who had his own health scare earlier this year- all sent their praises flooding to Twitter.





This not only goes to show how far reaching and impactful Norm was as a talent, but how just one person's individual spark can ignite the hearts and minds of many others.





Norm passed away after an undisclosed nine year battle with cancer. His longtime producing partner and friend, Lori Jo Hoekstra, who was with him when he died, says "He never wanted the diagnosis to affect the way the audience or any of his loved ones saw him....He once wrote that 'a joke should catch someone by surprise, it should never pander.' He certainly never pandered. Norm will be missed terribly."

Though Norm might have struggled in private, the comedy world is publicly coming together to acknowledge the positive impact he made in an industry that can, at its worst, be a toxic environment. The collective reaction to Norm's passing proves that at its best, however, the stand-up community is a tight knight family of creatives who relish in each other's successes and share in each other's remorse. Even in a time of devastating loss, that is worth celebrating.

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David Letterman tried to talk to Tina Fey about women in comedy. He got it very wrong.

David Letterman has no idea why there were so few women writers on his late-night talk show.

At least, that's what the veteran host revealed on an episode of his Netflix interview show "My Next Guest Needs No Introduction." What Letterman seems to have taught his audience with this particular episode is how far things still have to go in terms of diversity and equality in the writers room.

In speaking with Tina Fey, Letterman (kind of) asked the celebrated writer/actress/comedian/producer about her thoughts on how Hollywood has treated women.

"I know this is a topic you don't like talking about, and it's a topic without an answer, but women in comedy," Letterman said. "And I know you've been very generous to women in correcting an oversight. Now, when I had a television show, people would always say to me ... 'Why didn't you, why don't you have women writers?' And the best I could come up with was, 'I don't know.'"

Letterman seemed to have raised a subject he clearly didn't really want to talk about.

If you're scratching your head about what Letterman's talking about, you're not alone. Because what happened seems to be Letterman trying to ask a question, answer it, and absolve himself of any guilt under the guise of ignorance.

As former "Late Night with David Letterman" writer Nell Scovell wrote, this kind of bluster "may have gotten a pass" in the time before #MeToo and #TimesUp. But owning up to "I don't know" isn't enough anymore.

"In addressing the issue with one of Hollywood's most successful comics, he could have admitted his failings. Instead, he attempted to dodge past criticisms. And while delivered with an air of complete logic, Letterman's argument is a master class in distortion," Scovell wrote.

Image via Netflix.

Tina Fey wasn't about to let the moment pass though.

While Letterman seemed ready to move on, Fey wasn't letting it go so easily. Especially when he suggested there was "no policy" against women writers, completely ignoring that, while there may have been no official "no women allowed" mandate, an overwhelming amount of evidence makes it clear how hard it has been to be a woman in comedy.

"I always thought, 'Well, geez, if I was a woman, I'm not sure I would want to write on my little nickel-and-dime dog-and-pony show anyway cause we're on at 12:30,' Letterman says by way of apology. (Although, what does the show's time has to do with it? Are women not allowed out past 10? This show didn't start in the '50s.)

Fey, however, was having none of it: "Yeah, we did want to write on it, though," she shot back.

Letterman truly missed an opportunity here.

Here's the thing: If you're going to raise a sensitive subject, you're going to have to grapple with all the uncomfortable feelings that come along with it. If Letterman had, this conversation could have been productive and even transformative. It would have been refreshing to have a powerful man in comedy own up to his mistakes and recognize that it wasn't just "the time" that was an issue (Scovell points out that even when Letterman moved to an earlier time slot, he still only had one woman on the writing team) and that discrimination is a real issue to which the answer isn't "I don't know."

If anything, Letterman's response is a master class of what not to do when discussing equality and diversity.

While Letterman ended this uncomfortable segment with a vague apology about his ignorance and a statement about things getting better, that's not going to change things. What's going to change things are in-depth conversations about this topic. And that doesn't start with apologies and absolution; it starts with listening and recognizing that change is not only necessary but beneficial.

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