upworthy

confidence

Parenting

Dad shares what happens when you give your child books instead of a smartphone

The key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience”

via Armando Hart (used with permission)

Armando Hart and his son, Raya.

One of the most pressing dilemmas for parents these days is how much screen time they should allow their children. Research published by the Mayo Clinic shows that excessive screen time can lead to obesity, disrupted sleep, behavioral issues, poor academic performance, exposure to violence and a significant reduction in playtime.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time to 1 to 2 hours daily for children over 2. But American children spend far more time in front of screens than that and the situation is only worsening.

Before the pandemic, kids between the ages of 4 and 12 spent an average of 4.4 hours a day looking at screens, but since 2020, the average child’s daily screen time has increased by 1.75 hours.

A father in Long Beach, California, is getting some love for his TikTok video sharing what happens when you give your kid books instead of an iPhone. Armando Hart posted a video showing his 10-year-old son, Raya, reading a book in the back of a car and it’s been seen over 8 million times.

"Give them books instead of phones when they are little and this is the result," the caption reads. "Thank me later."

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have.

@lifeinmotion08

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have. #Books #Read #Fyp

Hart and his wife started reading to their son every night before bedtime, hoping to instill a love for books. "It was all about leading by example and creating a nurturing environment where reading was celebrated," Hart told Newsweek. These days, Raya is an avid reader who enjoys just about anything.

“My son likes novels, fiction, nonfiction, and realistic fiction,” Hart told Upworthy. “He also likes informative content, such as reading the almanac and other informative magazines. He loves to build, cook from recipes, and make art.”

For Hart, reading is all about creating a sense of balance in his son’s life.

“It's not about being against technology but about fostering a balanced approach that prioritizes meaningful experiences and hands-on learning,” he told Upworthy. “By instilling a love for reading, creativity, and exploration early on, we're equipping Raya with the skills and mindset he needs to thrive in an ever-changing world.”

Hart believes that the screen time discussion isn’t just about technology but a trend that goes deeper. “It speaks to a broader societal problem: our youth's lack of self-esteem, confidence and fundamental values. While screen time may exacerbate these issues, it is not the sole cause,” he told Upworthy.

“In contrast, physical activity, such as exercise, promotes joy and well-being. Spending hours scrolling on a phone can detract from genuine moments of happiness and fulfillment,” he continued. “Therefore, we must address the deeper underlying issues affecting our youth's mental and emotional health rather than solely attributing them to screen time.”

Hart believes the key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience” that encourage parental complacency.

“We prioritize quality time together, whether exploring nature, sharing meals with the best available foods, or engaging in meaningful conversations. In today's rapidly advancing technological world, staying grounded in our humanity and embodying integrity in everything we do is crucial,” he continued. “This means staying connected to our authentic selves and teaching our son the importance of honesty, kindness, and respect.”


This article originally appeared last year.

More

Her struggle with her acne is a lesson in developing a healthy relationship with makeup.

'Reflecting on your own self-worth is the most important thing you can do every day.'

True
L'Oreal Dermablend

MacKenzie has scars from high school — and not just emotional ones.

When she was 13, she started developing severe acne and redness all over her face. As a shy, sensitive teen, MacKenzie just wanted to blend in, but the acne made it extremely difficult.

MacKenzie. All photos via Dermablend.


"What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with your face?" Insensitive questions like that would pummel her every day in school to the point where she wished she could just stay home.

"People thought I couldn’t really stick up for myself," MacKenzie recalls. "So they just kind of made me an easy target."

She tried using foundation, but it ended up accentuating her acne rather than covering it. Of course, this left her feeling even more defeated.

Things like painting and volunteer work, however, helped her distract herself from the negativity she experienced.

One of MacKenzie's paintings.

In fact, volunteer work, especially when it involved mentoring younger kids, was so important to MacKenzie, she decided to pursue a bachelor's degree in social work. She also mentors students at a high school near her university.

Not surprisingly, MacKenzie very much relates to the struggles her mentees are currently facing. She often tells them something of which she regularly reminds herself:

"Reflecting on your own self-worth is the most important thing you can do every day."

MacKenzie also found solace in a new kind of makeup which helped cover her acne and filled her with confidence.

She discovered Dermablend, and it's helped her feel so much more comfortable because she was able to use it more for self-expression rather than something to hide behind. It's allowed her to be much more creative with the image she reflects back at the world.

"That outlet has helped me reflect upon my own beauty," MacKenzie says.

Today, she doesn't feel like she always needs to wear makeup. It's her choice, and that's incredibly empowering. Her foundation helped give her the self-assurance to make that choice. Now, whether she decides to wear makeup or not, she sees all the things that make her beautiful.

"At the end of the day, I look in the mirror and see someone who’s grown so much that nothing can bring me down," MacKenzie says. "Makeup or no makeup, I still feel so confident in myself."

Watch MacKenzie's story here:

Dermablend Reflections: Mackenzie

Growing up, she felt that her acne made her an outsider. Now it's something that helps her relate to the kids she mentors.

Posted by Upworthy on Monday, October 30, 2017
True
L'Oreal Dermablend

Mariah wasn’t concerned at first when an unusual spot appeared on her finger.

"I didn’t even notice until it started on my face, around my nose," she explained.

But as it progressed, she was diagnosed with vitiligo, a condition that causes the loss of skin color across her body. It started when Mariah was just 13, and she’s had it ever since.


All images via Upworthy.

"I wasn’t happy when it started," she said. "I already didn’t think [I] was perfect or good enough. I didn’t have the confidence to be seen."

Being seen, though, is a big part of Mariah’s life. That’s because Mariah is a dancer, with aspirations to dance professionally.

"I was always worried that having the skin condition that I do, I wouldn’t make it as a dancer," she confessed.

"I didn’t want to be the girl with the skin condition ... I was worried that people weren’t going to watch me.”

Coping with the condition was difficult for Mariah at first. But that began to change for her when, while browsing the makeup counter at the mall, she was encouraged to try Dermablend. For the first time, Mariah could feel comfortable in her skin.

"[It] gave me the confidence to begin to pursue dancing like I did," she explained. "I wasn’t a dancer who’s dancing with vitiligo; I was one of the dancers."

Throwing herself into dance, she said, helped her confidence grow. Slowly stepping out of the background and into the spotlight, she was able to learn who she was and find her own happiness.

Through that process, something amazing happened. Instead of feeling like she had to wear makeup, she started deciding when she wanted to wear it and when she did not. It was her choice.

"It doesn’t define my beauty ... [vitiligo] actually adds to the uniqueness, and it adds something to the look," she said.

Defining beauty on her own terms, Mariah is now able to pursue her passions with confidence.

Check out her story below:

Dermablend Reflections: Mariah

Growing up, she worried that her skin condition would keep her from her dream of being a dancer.

Posted by Upworthy on Tuesday, November 14, 2017

"I always thought I deserved to be in the background," she admitted. "Now, I realize that I do deserve to have my spotlight."

Mariah has embraced that spotlight, using her journey and her art to encourage others to tap into their own inner beauty. She is unafraid to take center stage. She now has ambitions to dance alongside some of the biggest artists in mainstream music.

"I can confidently say that I feel beautiful with and without makeup," she said, "because I’ve learned that Mariah is a beautiful person."

Today she uses makeup to enhance her features and embrace what she loves about herself.  Now she wears make-up when she chooses to. Gone are the days when she would hide behind foundation: Now her journey is all about showing up in the world without apologies.

True
MDA Live Unlimited

Sophia Spooner's dad always finished what he started. That's one thing that kept Sophia going during her 2,659-mile hike.

Sophia's dad, Ray, passed away from ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) — a neuromuscular disease that causes weakness and eventual paralysis of all voluntary muscles, including those used for breathing and swallowing — on Aug. 8, 2016.

10 months later, Sophia started hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, which spans from the Mexico/California border all the way up to the Washington/Canada border, to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) and its ALS Care Centers, which provide specialized care for people like Ray.


"I wanted to do something I thought my dad would be proud of," Spooner says. "I know he would’ve been proud of me for doing this.”

Spooner on the PCT. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

Ray was no stranger to tackling major feats of endurance either.

Immediately after finding out he had ALS in 2014, Ray decided to bike across the country from San Diego, California, to St. Augustine, Florida, to raise funds for MDA. Not only did he complete his mission, he also raised $85,000 in the process and encouraged others to fundraise too, bringing the total to more than $120,000.

This was the initial inspiration for Sophia's walk.

"One thing I learned from him is if you do something crazy, people will give you money for a cause that you care about," Spooner says.

But what led her to the Pacific Crest Trail wasn't just this one example of strength. It was a culmination of everything her family went through after Ray's diagnosis.

Sophia and her dad Ray. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

Sophia had just returned from a semester abroad in India when her family sat her down and told her that her dad had ALS. It was January 2015, which meant she had to go back to school after being dealt this enormous blow.

Her last year and a half of college was anything but easy because she felt so removed from everything that was going on back home in Urbana, Illinois. Then she graduated and things changed dramatically.

Her father's condition had advanced rapidly, and she was immediately thrown into the role of caregiver along with her mother and siblings.

Going from being totally disconnected to caring for her father full-time was hard but ultimately life-affirming.  

Sophia and her family advertising shirts for Ray's bike ride. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

The experience solidified a bond between Sophia and her family in a way that nothing else could. It often involved challenges, especially when Ray lost the ability to speak, but there were still beautiful moments that Sophia cherishes.

The family had a ritual of putting on Leonard Cohen's album "Popular Problems" while they got Ray ready for bed; then they'd all lie down with him until he fell asleep.

And even when he could no longer speak, he'd tell his family he loved them through a series of breaths.

Despite the difficulties, Sophia and her dad's relationship grew stronger, especially because he got to see how capable his daughter really was.

Ray faced life and death head-on. Sophia wanted to do the same, and that meant stepping out of her comfort zone.

Sophia looking out on a sunset while on her hike. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

While her dad was a prolific hiker, Sophia had no such experience when she set out alone to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. It was altogether exciting and terrifying at first, but then she made some new friends on the trail and things started to get easier.

"I set up my tent the first night and yelled out, ‘Does anyone want to play Euchre with me?’ I got a couple takers and ended up hiking with them for more than 1,000 miles,” Sophia recalls.

She was by far the youngest — and probably the least experienced — among her group, but her confidence made up for it.

Sophia with her hiking buddies. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

Covering almost 20 miles a day was certainly taxing, but her emotional journey hit her just as hard, if not harder.

Her new friends were incredibly supportive, but she longed to have someone there who really understood what the past year had been like for her. Thankfully, her boyfriend Yoni was able to join her at mile 485.

Sophia with Yoni on the PCT. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

"Just being around someone who was aware of what I was going through was so liberating," Sophia says.

However, that didn't mean there weren't extremely difficult days.

Sophia with her hiking crew trudging through the mountains. Photo by Kayla Miller.

Some days the hikers trudging through heavy snow; others, they were laboring under oppressive heat. On one of the hottest days, they had to scale an impossibly steep hill. Sophia thought they could take a breather under a small tree at the top of it, but when they reached it, it provided little to no shade. That's when she heard her dad for the first time on the trail.

He told her, "Whelp, you better keep going!"

So she did, knowing he still had her back.

He was with her at night too in the form of the Lou Reed song "Perfect Day," from the album "Transformer"that Ray had “assigned” Sophia to listen to before and after his death. She would also play it over and over again on her phone as she hiked.

Her dad wasn't the only one pushing her forward when things got tough though. The MDA was also behind her.

Sophia at mile 500 on the PCT. Photo via Sophia Spooner.

MDA helped Sophia launch her campaign to raise money for ALS care and cheered her on just when she was about to give up.

"I was in Northern California and very very ready to quit the trail," Sophia recalls.

Then MDA reached out to her with messages of encouragement. She knew she couldn't let her cause or the MDA and ALS communities down.

Sophia finished her walk on Sept. 9 and is eager to get back home and start on a new adventure — life after college.

She'll always carry the lessons she learned on the trail and while caring for her father: live life beyond limits, keep your loved ones close, and always finish what you start.  

For more about Sophia's story, check out the video below: