Acts of kindness: we know they’re important not only for others, but for ourselves. They can contribute to a more positive community and help us feel more connected, happier even. But in our incessantly busy and hectic lives, performing good deeds can feel like an unattainable goal. Or perhaps we equate generosity with monetary contribution, which can feel like an impossible task depending on a person’s financial situation.
Have you ever felt guilty because you don’t spend enough time volunteering? Or maybe because you can’t or don’t give much money to charity? It’s not a good feeling, and you can sometimes feel stuck not knowing what to do about it. But being kind and generous to others doesn’t have to be hard, or take much time, or cost anything at all.
One social media user posed the question: “what’s a small act of kindness that literally anyone can do/practice everyday?” and people gave some brilliantly simple ideas.
Eight small acts that actually make a difference
Here are eight easy-to-accomplish crowdsourced answers that might bring us one step closer to a more peaceful world:
1. Be aware of your surroundings
“Either move with the flow of traffic or get to the side if you have to situate yourself.” – @JoeMorgue
Americans, in particular, seem to get obsessed with the idea of “winning.” Walk around and/or faster than the next person, or refusing to give way. It’s a really kind and considerate move to make space for other people to exist comfortably.
2. Use headphones when taking public transport
“If you don’t have them – you can go 20 minutes without making excessive noise while sharing a small space with other people.” – @cynthiayeo
Often there’s no law or rule in place that “forces” you to do the polite thing, like minding how much noise you make on an airplane or public transport. But it’s a simple thing to do that goes a long way for the people around you.
3. Give compliments
“If you have a charitable thought about someone, even a stranger, say it out loud to their face. It is free, it is easy, and it might be the best thing that has happened to that person all week. Nothing creepy or overtly sexual or flirty, just kind words. ‘That shirt is really your color! Your haircut is beautiful. I appreciate your help, you were a real lifesaver!’ It doesn’t cost you anything and it means the world to the people you are talking to.” – @Comments_Wyoming
Everyone loves receiving genuine, no-strings-attached compliments! In fact, we often think about them all day, or even for longer. Don’t withhold praise. Give it freely and openly, when you really mean it.
4. Hold doors open for people
“Makes a big difference in one’s day.” – @sconnie64
Holding doors isn’t just for gentlemen out on a date. Hold doors for everyone equally; it’s a really sweet and polite gesture.
5. Don’t act on road rage
“After several years of commuting I came to the realization that with a few exceptional days, I always got home at the same time. Regardless of how many people ‘cut me off’ or drove too slowly and whatever. I started to just ‘go with the flow’ and always let people in when needed, always give extra room, and just enjoy my music/podcast. Life changing.” – @CPCOpposesAbortion
Who knows what it is about being in a car that just gets our blood boiling. Maybe it’s the slight anonymity, a little like being in an internet comment section? In any case, don’t indulge. If someone cuts you off, give them the benefit of the doubt and just move on. It was probably an accident anyway.
6. Have patience
“You never know what someone else is going through. Could be a breakup, their dog just died, granny finally made it to heaven, or maybe mom just broke the news that she’s got end stage cervical cancer and has weeks left to live. You never know, so be patient. After all, wouldn’t you want someone to be patient with you?” – @mamalion12
Assuming the best in people is a really good start when it comes to kindness. Most people aren’t out to be difficult or rude. Give them a little grace and there’s no telling how much they’ll appreciate it.
7. Thank the people you live with for taking care of things around the house
“It doesn’t have to be over the top, but everyone feels better about doing chores when it is noticed and appreciated. ‘Thanks for folding my laundry’ or ‘thanks for always keeping track of our bills, you’re awesome at managing money!’” – @Mrshaydee
This goes for kids, too! When they remember to pick up after themselves, reinforce the behavior with praise. Make time to appreciate your partner and family members, too, no matter how small their contributions.
8. Leave a place you visit just a little bit nicer than when you found it
“Pick up a piece of litter at the park. Give that mat with a pucker ready to trip someone a little tug to get it to lay flat in the business you’re at. Let an employee know when you spot a leaky dairy product on the shelves so they can deal with it. Return someone else’s grocery cart.” – @BlueberryPiano
Don’t be the “Someone else will deal with it,” person when you can be the someone else! It doesn’t take any effort at all most of the time to grab a piece of litter. And don’t even get me started on returning the grocery cart. It’s a basic test of human kindness that too many people fail. It’s the easiest thing in the world and saves both employees and the next customer time.
So why aren’t we doing this already?
Perhaps surprisingly, the main reason people don’t offer more acts of kindness is the fear of being misunderstood. That is, at least, according to The Kindness Test: an online questionnaire about being nice to others that more than 60,000 people from 144 countries completed. It does make sense having your good intentions be viewed as an awkward source of discomfort is not exactly fun for either party. You can imagine that complimenting a stranger could easily be interpreted the wrong way, for example.
However, the results of The Kindness Test also indicated those fears were perhaps unfounded. The most common words people used were “happy,” “grateful,” “loved,” “relieved” and “pleased” to describe their feelings after receiving kindness. Less than 1% of people said they felt embarrassed, according to the BBC.
So, maybe with kindness, we need to put our social anxieties away and act without overthinking (to a certain point, of course). Perhaps it’s best to find the simplest actions we can commit to on a daily basis, rather than formulating some grandiose gesture.
This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.
