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People are sharing the parenting trends that absolutely ‘need to end now’

Here are 21 of the best responses.

Mom looking over daughter with phone; comment overlay
via Pexels

Not all trends in parenting are a good thing.

It’s tough to quantify whether today’s parents are stricter or more permissive than previous generations, but the overall sentiment seems to be that parents are more lenient than they were a few decades back.

A 2015 poll by YouGov found that younger Americans are more likely than their elders to have been raised by “not very strict” or “not at all strict” parents. Thirty-nine percent of under-30s say that their parents weren't very strict or not strict at all, compared to only 15% of over-65s.

Nicola Kraus, author of The Nanny Diaries, believes that it’s a natural outgrowth of the fact that we know a lot more about children than we did in the past.

“We are deeply aware that our children are cognizant, conscious humans in a way previous generations weren't aware. Children were treated like pets or, worse, release valves for their parents' stresses and fears, then expected to magically transform into healthy, functional adults,” she writes.

But this change in parenting has encouraged other trends that many think are creating a greater number of entitled young adults who can’t fend for themselves. These days we have helicopter parents, bulldozer parents, and dependent parents whose overinvolvement in their children’s lives renders them incapable of becoming fully integrated adults.

Reddit user u/qquackie asked the online forum,"What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?" and got an overwhelming number of responses from people who think that today's parents are raising entitled children. Many of the responders think that parents are being too sensitive with their children and they don’t provide firm boundaries. They also think it’s a big problem for kids to think they’re the center of the universe.

Here are 21 of the most popular responses to the parenting question.

1. Pretending that not parenting is parenting

"I won't tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!' — StoicDonkey

2. ​Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions

"They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle." — IAmRules

3. Fake “gentle parenting”

"You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions." — candianuk

4. Not setting clear boundaries

"You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences." — NorthWeight3580

5. The “bulldozer” parent

"The parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great." — spinefexmouse

6. Stage-mom syndrome

"Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society." — sweettooth_92

7. Nonstop supervision

"Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?" — ansibley

8. Not believing the teacher

"'My kid never lies to me.' Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing." — jdith123

9. "No talking back!"

"If this also counts... Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're 'talking back.' I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?" — EntryRepresentative5

10. Helicopter parenting

"Kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside on a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom." — Cat_Astrophe_X

11. Pushing them too hard

"Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once." — Oh-Oh-Ophelia

12. Tablets in public

"Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places." — StarrCreationsLLC

13. Potty training too late

"Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this. One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues. What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty. Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers. My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now." — cleaning-meaning

14. Kids on social media

"Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles." — AJSK18

15. Too much structure

​"I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!" — hausfrau224

16. Tablet addiction

"Constantly giving your kid(s) a tablet or cellphone to keep them busy because you can't be bothered to actually be a parent or pay attention to them." — ZRuneDemonX

17. Letting the kid make all the choices

"I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way." — cihojuda

18. Silence

"Saying 'what goes on in this house, stays in this house.' I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase." — Dixie_Maclant

19. Birthdays

"The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid. When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games. Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right? Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements." — littlebunsenburner

20. Parent, not friend

"Trying to be your kid's 'friend,' not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes." — DataPlenty

21. You're not special

"Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses." — AssistantToTheSensei


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Heroes

Man finds genius loophole to beat squatters at their own game. Homeowners say he's a hero.

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them."

Canva Photos

Flash Shelton has been nicknamed the "Squatter Hunter" and helps people take their homes back.

Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. The argument is that it's better to have someone openly living in a home and taking care of it, properly maintaining it, versus it laying abandoned and rotting away. Families and residents add value to a community, and those residents should have rights — or so the reasoning goes.

It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

A squatter takeover is exactly what happened to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away.


A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

But since the woman had expressed her intention and already moved in, the matter was out of police hands, as Shelton found out when he tried to contact the local sheriff. If that sounds like trespassing to you, well, join the club.

“They said, ‘I’m sorry but we can’t enter the house, and it looks like they’re living there, so you need to go through the courts',” he shared in a YouTube video.


Shelton rightfully didn't want the expense of a court battle, so he took matters into his own hands—not with violence, but with logic. He had his mom lease the home to him, and then told the squatter that she had to move everything out because he was moving things in.


squatters, homeowners, criminals, trespassing, law, property law, viral videos, youtube, squatter hunter How exactly is squatting not trespassing? It's complicated, for some reason. Giphy

“If they can take a house, I can take a house," he said.

He was calm and clear about her having to get everything out within the day or he would have people come and take it, and thankfully, she didn't put up a big fight.

That experience made him realize how squatter law can be abused, but that there's a faster system for removing a squatter than to go through the court system. If a squatter can move in and force a homeowner to take them to court to prove they are living there illegally, then he could simply move in alongside the squatter, putting the squatter in the position of having to take the homeowner to court instead.

"The legal process is so slow, and at some point when they're in there, you're going to feel like they have more rights than you do and that's how you're going to be treated. So even though you it's your house and you're paying the mortgage or whatever, at some point squatters feel like they have more rights than you, so they don't have an incentive to leave until a judge tells them to, until they're actually ordered to, and that could take months."

After successfully removing the squatters in his mother's house, Shelton has been tackling similar squatter situations for other homeowners in California, earning him the nickname "The Squatter Hunter."

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them," Shelton told CBS News. "I figured if they could take a house, I could take a house."

According to CBS, he's successfully removed a dozen squatters in the past year. ""I'm not going in and I'm not hurting anyone," he said. "I'm not kicking them out, I'm not throwing them out." He's literally just moving in himself, setting up cameras, and then creating small annoyances until the squatters get fed up enough to move out; like making uncomfortable alterations to the home or making a ton of noise at inopportune hours.

Shelton parlayed his success into a reality show on A&E called, fittingly, Squatters. It premiered in July of 2025. To put it lightly, it looks intense! Clips posted on Shelton's social media show hostile standoffs with angry squatters and even he and his team causing damage to the home or creating nuisances to help drive the squatters out.

California isn't the only state that has seen issues with squatters. There are squatter stories from all over the U.S. of people moving into a property and refusing to leave without a court order, tying owners up in lengthy, expensive legal battles.

Though squatting is relatively rare overall, some areas of the country have more issues than others. California, Texas, Georgia, and Florida are areas, in particular, that struggle with squatters and abandoned properties.

Shelton even has a Change.org petition to try to get squatter laws changed to "make squatting in residential maintained homes criminal." Making squatting illegal "will shift the burden of proof onto the squatter and make the crime punishable with restitution an option for damages," the the petition states.

Not all homeowners will have access to someone like Shelton and his team to fight back against squatters. But until the laws change, he's doing as much as he can.

Watch Shelton share his personal story:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Health

The calm and confident 'shark' method to stop bullies from pushing you around

A bully is like a shark. But even sharks have a weakness.

via Canva/Photos

A shark and a woman being bullied.

When people talk about bullying, it is usually centered around the schoolyard type: the kid who comes around and tries to steal another child’s lunch money or calls people names to humiliate them in front of other students. You know, Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons.

However, as people become adults, they still come across bullying, although it can be a bit more subtle. It’s the boss who puts you down in meetings, the mother-in-law who constantly critiques you, or the one friend who controls the group chat and puts you down whenever your friend group gets together.


In the old days, your parents might tell you to fight back against the bully, but in the adult world—especially in your professional life—you can’t fight back the way you could in the schoolyard. That’s where @Mewmewsha, a TikToker who provides people with "Older Sister" advice, comes in. She has a brilliant shark metaphor to explain how to deal with bullies.

Warning: Video contains strong language.

@mewmewsha

Here’s how to deal with ANYONE who tries to push you around, bully you, and make you feel small

How to deal with a bully

According to @Mewmewsha, bullies are incredibly insecure people; that’s why they pick on other people. “They're the most vulnerable person in the room. It doesn't take much to crush them. That's their biggest insecurity, and they desperately don't want anyone to figure that out,” she says. The good news, she says, is that “you don’t need to fight them,” just tell them to screw off.

@mewmewsha says that when you’re dealing with a bully, you need to think of them as sharks. “They're big, they're scary, and they attack you when you're minding your business. When a shark is coming at you, you don't swim away, you don't make a big splash, and you don't try to fight. "Your only option is to redirect them,” she says. "One firm nudge to let them know, ’Hey, what you're looking for ain't here.’”


sharks, water, ocean, hunting, shark hunter, ocean floor, hungry shark A shark hunting for food.via Canva/Photos

But where do you nudge the bully? On a shark, you hit them right in the snout, that’s their most vulnerable place. On a bully, it’s calling out their insecurities. She says that you don’t cower to the bully, you look them right in the eye and say this: “Listen, obviously you need everyone to look at me so that no one looks too closely at you. Cause if they did, what would they see? What are you so worried people are gonna notice? Cause the more you keep coming for me, the more obvious it is. So f**k off and find someone else to bother.”

This also comes with a warning: Before telling a bully off, make sure that you are in a safe situation to do so.

Why do people act like bullies?

@mewmewsha may not be a psychologist or a therapist, but she is spot on when it comes to diagnosing why people are bullies. According to an article medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW, and Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW of Better Help: “Bullies may have low self-esteem and try to boost their self-worth by putting others down.”

therapist, therapy, psychologist, female therapist, therapy office A woman speaking with her therapist.via Canva/Photos

They add that one of the best ways to stop someone from bullying you is to show that you are “confident” and that their tactics are not working. “Because the person who bullies may already be self-conscious, they are likely to become angry as you become more empowered,” they write. “Eventually, they may be forced to give up once you show them that you are not going to allow their behavior to impact you.”

The good news about the advice from @mewmewsha and the therapists at Better Help is that if you are being bullied, there is hope. The key is to understand that a bully, much like a shark, may be intimidating, but they have a weak spot, and if you can use that to your advantage, you can stop the bullying altogether.

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Humor

Neo-Nazis slowly realize this small town brilliantly pranked them for a great charity

Local residents in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, came together to fight Nazis a hilariously perfect way.

Image via YouTube

Neo-Nazis marching in a parade

In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist participants. According to Heeb Magazine, "For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."

The reason the Neo-Nazis show up in Wunsiedel every year is because Adolf Hitler's deputy Rudolf Hess was previously buried there. They apparently haven't been deterred by the fact that his grave was exhumed in 2011 and destroyed.

The brilliant prank was organized by a group called Right Against Right, which alerted people to their wholesome scheme through their website, which reads:

They run and run and run! Almost every week, neo-Nazis take to the streets to demonstrate. If you can't stop them, you can at least make them run for something worthwhile, like against themselves. This turns the funeral march into a fundraising march, and the demonstration into a charity event. For every meter run, fixed donations from companies and citizens go to EXIT Germany or projects working against neo-Nazis. Let's harness this charitable potential!

So if you're determined to march, you're stepping into a dilemma. With your support, things will go much better! Donate, share, and be there live when it's time to take a strong stand against the right – in your everyday life, online, or with a donation.The anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis.

Unfortunately, Neo-Nazi organizations still continue to crop up across the world In recent years they have been seen at political rallies. Even today in 2025, American political actors such as Tesla founder Elon Musk, have been accused of giving Nazi salutes at rallies in a not so thinly veiled sign of approval to those who posses anti-semitic and other far right win ideologies.


Neo-nazis, finland, nazis, germany, world war 2, hitler, history, funny, pranks NRM Finnish independence day demonstration, 2018.Image via Wikicommons

As the Guardian reported at the time, people in the town got fully into the spirit, "sponsoring" the 250 Neo-Nazi marchers, hanging hilariously mocking signs, including one posted at the end of the march, which thanked them for their "donations" to the anti-hate groups.

According to The Washington Post, “The 200 neo-Nazis had only two choices when they got to know about the plan: Either they proceeded, indirectly donating money to the EXIT Germany initiative, or they acknowledged their defeat and suspended the march. The neo-Nazis decided to pursue their plans — and participated in raising funds for an organization committed to their downfall.”

The plan worked so well, it was replicated in 2017 by the Jewish Bar Association of San Francisco, which started an "Adopt a Nazi (Not Really)" fundraiser on GoFundMe that ended up raising more than $150,000 in response to a Neo-Nazi march in the city.

Watch the YouTube video below:




- YouTube www.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

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Wellness

Millions are obsessed with the science-backed 'Japanese Walking' fitness method

Getting and staying fit doesn't have to be complicated.

Photo credit: Canva

Two women walking through the park.

When did working out become so…complicated? Pricey gym memberships, workout systems that take up precious space in the garage, and don't even get me started on finding the "right" running shoe for your feet (if such a thing even exists).

Yes, there's far too much confusion surrounding walking and running in terms of fitness. But it doesn't have to be this way. Working out using your own two feet does not need to resemble an excellent Avril Lavigne song.

Enter: Japanese Walking.

@coacheugeneteo Walking 10,000 steps... But better 😯 I know I can’t be the only one who looks at my step count at the end of the day and feel like a failure. Some days, I get around 2,000 steps. I still aim for at least 8,000 a day - but sometimes, life just gets in the way. But even if it's only an extra ~3000 steps, this simple 30 minute protocol on my walking pad can make a huge difference.
♬ original sound - Eugene Teo

Also known as Interval Walking Training (IWT), it's a straightforward yet highly effective fitness technique that incorporates interval training methods used by professional athletes. So, it's no surprise that once TikTok caught wind of this simple, low-impact, 30-minute workout (and discovered it works!), Japanese Walking went viral.

Fitness influencers and news outlets alike heralded Japanese Walking as the real deal: a science-backed, lab-tested alternative to high-intensity sweat sessions that also works better than those flashy, fleeting fitness fads, like the (now debunked) 10,000 steps a day challenge or the "12-3-30" treadmill trend.

Ready to find out what all the buzz is about Japanese walking? Let's dive in.

The story behind Japanese Walking

In the early 2000s, a team of researchers at Shinshu University in Nagano, Japan, found themselves grappling with a head-scratching dilemma.

Japan's population is consistently ranked as one of the world's oldest. In 2023, it was reported that nearly a third of Japan's population had already hit 65 years old (an estimated 36.23 million people—approximately the population size of Ghana), with one in every 10 people being 80 years or older.


In the study conducted at Shinshu University Graduate School of Medicine, exercise physiologist Hiroshi Nose and his collaborator Shizue Masuki led a research group on a quest. The goal? To make walking an aging person's new best friend. They wanted to discover a highly effective walking routine for middle-aged and older adults that would help improve their physical and cardiometabolic health.

Early trials in Japan showed promising results. In Nose and Masuki's landmark 2007 study, they observed the physical fitness and blood pressure of 246 participants between the ages of 44 and 78 for five months. The results confirmed their suspicions: that those who followed the IWT program showed greater improvements in strength, endurance, blood pressure, and aerobic capacity, compared to moderate, steady-paced walking or those in the no walking regimen.

via GIPHY

In older adults, these benefits increased even further, with significant increases to thigh muscle strength (up to 17%) and a reduction in systolic blood pressure.

What a perfect ending, right?

If only.

"No one completed the program, and they complained that the program was too boring and too difficult," revealed Shizue Masuki.

Rather than give up when participants found their fitness program boring, Nose and Masuki's research team turned to a popular training method sworn by in the professional sports world: interval training. This type of training is beloved by runners, cyclists, and others who want to increase their speed, agility, endurance, and/or muscle power. It's efficient (you can achieve more results in less time) and prevents boredom.

For example, if you're doing jump squats for a few minutes, then burpees and mountain climbers, or shuttle runs and bicycle crunches, repeatedly, it's pretty challenging to get bored.

What makes Japanese Interval Walking so special?

There's a certain symmetrical beauty to interval walking training.

Rather than maintaining a quick, steady pace, ITW devotees alternate between three-minute bursts of fast, energetic walking and three-minute intervals of slow recovery periods. Alternate between the two speeds for a total of five rounds, or 30 minutes, and that's it! You're done.

outdoors, walking, sports, intervals, fitness Two people walking outside. Photo credit: Canva

For those who want to get technical, during the speedy portion, Nose and Masuki recommend trying to hit 70-85% of your maximum heart rate. Then, during the more relaxed intervals, your heart rate should reduce to 40-50% of your maximum heart rate.

If you're unsure about your heart rate, consider investing in a heart rate monitor. This one doesn't need bells and whistles; make sure that it has a stopwatch and the ability to set a target rate with an alarm.

Why this actually works—while other walking exercise plans fail

Your body craves challenge, but it also needs recovery. Japanese interval walking gives you both. During those high-intensity bursts, you're creating what cardiovascular expert Dr. Mir Ali calls "healthy stress" on your heart and muscles.

"When you increase your intensity of walking or other exercise that raises your heart rate, it's helpful to cardiovascular health and increases aerobic capacity," said Mir Ali, general and bariatric surgeon. "Once you're settled down from that increase, over time, your blood pressure improves."

The benefits don't just stop there. Nose and Masuki's studies also show positive effects on sleep, cognitive function, and depression. Imagine being able to sleep better, think more clearly, and feel happier, all from a simple 30-minute walk. That's the power of Japanese Walking.

- YouTube www.youtube.com


In a world where fitness increasingly feels expensive and complicated, people want something real and accessible. Japanese Walking connects with so many people because it works—it's not a fad or a viral moment. Interval walking training was developed in a lab to scientifically strengthen the bones and bodies of Japan's growing elderly population, and by doing so, offered a rare gift to the rest of the world: a path to fitness that's not just effective, but also efficient, and. most importantly, sustainable.

Oh, and it's accessible! You already possess everything you need to succeed in Walking Interval Training. You, a pair of shoes, and 30 minutes to spare, preferably outdoors.

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How a mom-daughter duo transformed their ordinary backyard into a 'lush habitat garden'

They created their own breathtaking paradise using only native plants.

Photo credit: Canva

This is so inspiring.

Nature is healing. After a century of rampant urbanization—deforestation, invasive species, paving paradise and putting up a parking lot—we’re finally coming back to our roots. In Southern California, a mother-daughter design team is leading the way, teaching the public and their clients how to transform ordinary outdoor areas into extraordinary plant sanctuaries.

In a viral TikTok video, Donna and Caitlin Whelan demonstrate how they created a lush habitat garden out of an ordinary backyard. It’s captured the hearts of green-thumbed viewers and offers an inside look into the process of eco-friendly landscaping.

Trust the process

Donna and Caitlin run Whelan Design House, a boutique interior design firm that specializes in high-end projects. Drawing on their combined talents and impeccable taste, this mother-daughter team creates beautiful living spaces with a human-centered approach. Their commitment to healthy environments shines through in their design philosophy. As they state on their website, "Our world is full of synthetic materials, but we believe there are other options. We guide our clients toward sustainable and environmentally respectful choices and away from chemical-laden fabrics and unhealthy materials."

backyard, boring, dilapidated, renew, makeover, new, patio , diy, gardening, sustainability, making a garden Before nature upgrade.@whelandesignhouse/TikTok

Which brings us to the viral backyard renovation. This was more than just a design project: it’s a masterclass in the power of family bonds and environmental innovation. The 18-part video begins with a plain, unremarkable yard. “This is how it looked when we started,” they write. “The grass wasn’t providing anything for the local [ecosystem], and it required way too much water to maintain.”

America has a “perfect lawn” problem. Dreams of white picket fences and a manicured lawn have driven the country into a “green, monoculture carpet,” and our human-dominated landscape is no longer equipped to support functional ecosystems. Like everything else in life, our front lawns do not exist in a vacuum. Everything, from the trees to the flowers to the grass to the soil, all work harmoniously to create a thriving home for insects, birds, and other wild creatures. But when native species are replaced with alien ones, these exotic plants disrupt the flow of life, wreaking havoc and degrading the natural habitat.

So, Donna and Caitlin tore it up. All of it. They removed the neatly cut grass and trees from unknown origins. Ripped up swaths of concrete (“concrete suffocates the soil, preventing the growth of microbes that are essential for healthy soil,” they write).

backyard, boring, dilapidated, renew, makeover, new, patio , diy, gardening, sustainability, making a garden After nature upgrade.@whelandesignhouse/TikTok

California’s natural beauty

Once the land was returned to ground zero, Caitlin and Donna got to work, replacing the non-native species with ones that were suited to the environment. “Native plants are adapted to the timing of the seasons, harshness of the weather, and water availability of the particular area they evolved within,” describes Defenders of Wildlife, a premier U.S.-based conservation organization. “They are also typically adapted to surviving local pests and, therefore, do not need chemical pesticides.”

So, the dynamic duo began anew, carefully planning and selecting the right plants. They chose drought-tolerant flora that was either native to the area or regionally appropriate, like the wattle-leaf acacia, whose delicate yellow blooms and fern-like leaves added a wonderful splash of splendor to the landscape. Plus, it’s known for its resiliency and minimal water needs—an especially crucial component in Southern California, where droughts are unfortunately quite commonplace. The orange-hued apricot mallow, another star of their garden, brings another pop of color and radiance and attracts butterflies to the space. “The flowers smell like honey,” write the Whelans.

Beyond the lush wildlife, the mother-daughter team also drew upon their impressive art experiences to design the garden of their dreams. They installed a lovely wooden bench, shaded beneath a Palo Verde tree. Small tables that look like sculptures dot the yard. Rustic Saltillo tiles, made of gorgeous terracotta, were used to create a mosaic patio floor. Suddenly, everything clicked. The resulting space is nothing short of awe-inspiring: truly one with nature.

Comments flooded in, with viewers praising Donna and Caitlin for their work. “You created your own slice of paradise while considering the wildlife and native plant species. I’m in awe,” someone wrote. “Thank you for planting native plants in CA, it’s so helpful. So many people buy houses here and plant non-native plants,” another user replied. Their viral TikTok even motivated some to rethink their own backyards. “My house is also a small older Spanish-style with a big backyard,” writes another. “This just inspired me to take action. Even my patio is just like yours, it’s coming down now lol.”

Change is always possible

There are countless ways to incorporate native vegetation into your life, whether you have sprawling acres or a simple, small plot out front. For those interested in following in the Whelans’ footsteps, here’s what you need to know about starting your own native plant oasis:

  • Take stock. Before planning your beautiful new garden, examine your surroundings and evaluate what makes this particular area special and unique. How much sun does the yard typically get? Does it snow here? What’s the elevation like? Is the soil drainage poor?
  • Research, research, research. This is a great excuse for an excursion and to explore your local surroundings! Find a park near you with native plants or a botanical garden. Really get to know your local ecosystem—every region has its own personality and specific native plants that are meant to thrive there.
  • The fun part: Shopping spree. Find a nursery that specializes in native plants. And be curious! Ask questions, like “Where did this plant come from?” “Do I need to fertilize it?” “What soil and soil pH is best?” To create a native plant garden is to become a steward of the land, and the more information you know, the better.
  • Don’t stress. Caitlin and Donna are professionals. You don’t need to transform your entire backyard overnight. Start small, beginning with just a section of the garden. This will take time. In fact, the Whelans note, “patience is incredibly important. The beauty of [the garden] reached new depths with time and only time.”
By choosing native plants and working with nature rather than against it, the Whelans remind us that environmental stewardship is always possible—and can even start in your own backyard. With some careful planning, the correct plants, and an eye for design, anyone can take a step towards contributing to a natural, thriving ecosystem.
This article originally appeared in June.
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