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Men try to read the most disturbing comments women get online back to them.

If you wouldn't say it to their faces, don't type it.

bearded man looking troubled while reading.

Image from https://www.youtube.com/...

This isn’t comfortable to talk about.

Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault and violence.

in 2016, a video by Just Not Sports took two prominent female sportswriters and had regular guys* read the awful abuse they receive online aloud.

Sportswriters Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro sat by as men read some of the most vile tweets they receive on a daily basis. See how long you can last watching it.

*(Note: The men reading them did not write these comments; they're just being helpful volunteers to prove a point.)

It starts out kind of jokey but eventually devolves into messages like this:

gif of man reading a Tweet that says, "I hope you get raped again."

Awful.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

These types of messages come in response to one thing: The women were doing their jobs.

Those wishes that DiCaro would die by hockey stick and get raped? Those were the result of her simply reporting on the National Hockey League's most disturbing ordeal: the Patrick Kane rape case, in which one of the league's top players was accused of rape.

DiCaro wasn't writing opinion pieces. She was simply reporting things like what the police said, statements from lawyers, and just general everyday work reporters do. In response, she received a deluge of death threats. Her male colleagues didn't receive nearly the same amount of abuse.

It got to the point where she and her employer thought it best for her to stay home for a day or two for her own physical safety.

The men in the video seemed absolutely shocked that real live human beings would attack someone simply for doing their job.

Not saying it.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

Most found themselves speechless or, at very least, struggling to read the words being presented.

gif of a man saying, "Sorry that these were directed toward you."

It evoked shame and sympathy.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

Think this is all just anecdotal? There's evidence to the contrary.

The Guardian did a study to find out how bad this problem really is. They combed through more than 70 million comments that have been posted on their site since 2006 and counted the number of comments that violated their comment policy and were blocked.

The stats were staggering.

From their comprehensive and disturbing article:

"Although the majority of our regular opinion writers are white men, we found that those who experienced the highest levels of abuse and dismissive trolling were not. The 10 regular writers who got the most abuse were eight women (four white and four non-white) and two black men. Two of the women and one of the men were gay. And of the eight women in the 'top 10', one was Muslim and one Jewish.

And the 10 regular writers who got the least abuse? All men."

gif that reads, "We wouldn't say it to their faces. So let's not type it."

If you can’t say it to their face... don’t type it.

All images and GIFs from Just Not Sports/YouTube.

So, what can people do about this kind of harassment once they know it exists?

To start? Share things that make people aware it's happening. Listen to the Just Not Sports podcast where they talk about it.
If you know someone who talks like this to anyone on the Internet, CALL THEM OUT. Publicly, privately—just let them know it's not OK to talk to anyone like this.
Don't stop talking about it. Every day, the harassment continues. Don't let it linger without attention.

There are no easy answers. But the more people who know this behavior exists, the more people there will be to tell others it's not OK to talk to anyone like that.

Watch the whole video below:

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So...when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

Unsplash

Students working; an empty classroom.

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules: "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. After a quick search, I can confirm I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

school's out, school days, school week, work week, schedules Schools Out Fun GIF by Pen Pals Giphy

So, it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

school, kids, teachers, instruction time, classes, schedule Class in session Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

teachers, stress, education, work, job Season 3 Running GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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People swear by the unusual 'Solid Snake' conversation trend to conquer social anxiety

It's actually an easy Japanese active listening trick.

Canva Photos & Konami

People have found a really great active listening technique in a super strange place.

There is an art to being a good listener. Physically using your ears to hear what someone is saying, and your brain to process it, is only part of the battle. You also have to show the person you're talking to that you're listening and that you care. Asking questions is a great way to keep the conversation flowing and let your talking partner know you're engaged. But what if you're socially anxious, shy, or just can't think of anything to say? It's harder than it seems, especially when meeting new people!

The solution is easy. Just take a page out of Solid Snake's book. Who's Solid Snake? Just a former Green Beret, special ops solider, spy, assassin, and the protagonist of the popular Metal Gear Solid video games. You might wonder what the heck Solid Snake, aka David, knows about active listening. It turns out, quite a lot.

The "Solid Snake conversation method" is taking the world by storm. It's part trend, part meme, and 100% effective.

conversation tips, social anxiety, small talk, socializing, etiquette, politeness, introvert, video games Solid Snake is here to help your social anxiety! Giphy

You don't need to know anything about video games to understand where the method comes from. Suffice it to say, Metal Gear Solid is a plot-heavy game series, full of cut-scenes that feature lots of dialogue and exposition.

It's become a bit of a joke in the gaming world that Snake, a man of few words, tends to fall back on one particular conversational technique over and over: He repeats, or echoes, bits of what the other characters say. It adds emphasis to important points, creates good conversational pacing, and allows the plot and dialogue to continue on smoothly.

Here's a (made up) example:

"Snake, we've got to get the blueprints!"

"The blueprints?"

"Yes, the bad guys are constructing a devastating bomb!"

"A bomb?"

"Indeed! You'll find the prototype in that bunker over there."

"A bunker?"

You get the idea. You can watch it in action here.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why does this random video game character speak in this strange cadence? And why are people stealing it to use in real life?

You might think this dialogue is just a clunky tool for exposition or the result of bad writing, but you'd be wrong!

The Metal Gear Solid games are written and developed in Japan by a team led by legendary developer Hideo Kojima. Though translated into English and created in part for an American audience, the games feature a lot of bits and pieces of Japanese culture.

Frequent repetition and conversational echoes are extremely commonplace in Japanese. It's part of a polite active listening technique called "Aizuchi," which refers to frequent interjections to show interest, engagement, reassurance, and politeness.

Aizuchi includes interjecting with words or phrases (or their equivalents) like "I get it," "Yeah," "Really?" or even repeating back parts of the original speaker's words, a la Solid Snake.

According to Niko Smith at FluentU, "Perhaps you already use some of these interjections in conversation. While your friend is [telling you a story]... you might nod a few times or throw in a surprised 'No way!' or 'What happened next?' [Aizuchi] works in a similar way, but it’s more relentless. As the listener in a conversation, you might find yourself doing just as much talking as the speaker."

Smith adds that in America, young people are often taught specifically not to interrupt or speak while someone else is talking. In Japan, doing so frequently—in the right way—is a sign of respect and interest.

Better yet, Aizuchi doesn't require the listener to be particularly brilliant in conversation, charismatic, or creative. Even socially awkward people, or anyone who clams up in social situations, can muster a few polite interjections!

This technique exists outside of Japanese culture, too. In fact, it's a well-known wat to keep conversations flowing effortlessly, give you time to think about what you're going to say, and make your conversation partner feel heard and appreciated.

It's no surprise that people familiar with the game have been trying the technique in real life for years. In 2023, a viral 4chan post helped popularize the idea, and more recently a (now deleted) post on X went super viral referencing how effective the "Solid Snake conversation method" is for meeting new people.

— (@)

The technique is hitting home with young people, especially gamers and the chronically-online, which makes for a really productive and much-needed discussion.

Gen Z has grown up with social media taking the place of many in-person interactions, screens everywhere, and of course, the COVID years. All of these factors affect the way they communicate with each other, especially in real life:

Maddy Mussen writes for The Standard, "Gen Z slang is all about shutting people out. It’s an inside joke, the more unintelligible the better. It’s in keeping with its etymology. When your whole modus operandi is being exclusionary, it doesn’t make for a lot of meaningful conversation."

It would be an unfair blanket generalization to say young people only speak in brainrot and have no idea how to operate in the real world. But Gen Z is racked with social anxiety to a far greater degree than previous generations. They need all the tools and practice they can get when it comes to operating in the real world and speaking to people they don't know well.

If they, or anyone else, can take a useful tip from their favorite video game character, there's nothing wrong with that at all.

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conversation tips

Psychologist explains why everyone feels so exhausted these days and it makes a lot of sense

"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…"

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

It seems like most people are feeling wiped out these days. There's a reason for that.

We're more than four years past the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on. Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds.

We've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.

But why?

Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense. Holdt is a psychologist, author, and speaker with over two decades of experience, and specializes in the emotional well-being of children and young adults. She is also the author of "How to Raise Resilient Kids and Teens."

In a post on Facebook, she wrote:

"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…

No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…

We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…

And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…

Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…

We can’t.

And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…

So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.

Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).

tired, exhausted, wicker chair, psychology, tired woman, A tired woman relaxing in a chair.via Canva/Photos

Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…

Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.

Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."

Putting it like that, of course, we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness, so they dive fully back into life, only to crash midday because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.

tired, exhausted, wicker chair, psychology, tired woman, A tired woman laying on the couch.via Canva/Photos

Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds, and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.

So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.

You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Cheeky list of 'reasons not to eat your food if you're a cat' has feline lovers cackling

Reason #2: the vibe was off.

Photo credit: Canva

Cat have their reasons for doing what they do…even if they perplex us.

Cats have their fair share of quirks, from midnight zoomies to baking invisible biscuits to those weird alien chirps. But the one eccentricity that seems to go against their very nature as descendants of apex predators is their finickiness around food.

As any cat mom or dad will tell you, these critters take picky eating to Olympian levels, rivaling that of any toddler. To really put that into perspective, below is a delightful TikTok (shared by @thecutestcatseveryes) outlining the very logical “reasons” why on any given day, a cat might suddenly refuse to eat…despite yowling out of desperate hunger mere minutes before.

The “reasons not to eat your food if you're a cat," include:

Bowl was placed down too loudly.
The vibe was off.
Don't like chicken, as of today.
Felt like I was being rushed.
I'm a cat.

Even the kitty featured in the video seemed to approve this message.

@thecutestcatseveryes Reasons not to eat your food if you're a cat 😸 #funnycat #catlovers #cattok #catsoftiktok #kittensoftiktok ♬ Funny video "Carmen Prelude" Arranging weakness(836530) - yo suzuki(akisai)

In the comments, other cat parents shared their purrfectly reasonable reasons to refuse noms noms, such as:

“Bowl was faced the wrong way.”

“Same flavor twice in a row.”

“I eat at 4:30pm, not 4:31pm.”

“I can see the center of the bowl is empty therefore there is no food, edges don’t count.”

“I want the other can, not the open one in the fridge. New can every feeding."

“I’d rather eat what my brother is eating, which is exactly the same as what I’ve got but I want his specifically.”

Listen, we can joke all we want, but it turns out that cats likely come by these picky eating habits naturally—and don’t do it simply to make our lives harder. As PetMD explains, wild cats subsisted on frequent meals of whatever smaller mammals they were lucky enough to catch while hunting, usually during dawn and dusk. Domestic kitties still might have this instinct, which manifests in a predilection to eat a variety of small meals, which feel fresh as to mimic a fresh catch, throughout the day.

cats, cat food, best cat food, cat refusing to eat, funny cat videos, pets, picky cats, cat treats Look at this wee little tiger munching on his meal. Photo credit: Canva

The site added that kitties could have learned to prefer a certain type of food thanks to their mother, or might have eaten a particular food during a moment of stress or illness, and thus maintain a negative association with it.

There are, however, certain things humans can do to make food more appetizing, PetMD explains. To mimic fresh prey, the site suggests warming up food to about 100 degrees Fahrenheit (same as a normal body temperature) and moisten dry food with a bit of water. Some cats might even respond better to food that has the specific shape and look of fresh prey.

cats, cat food, best cat food, cat refusing to eat, funny cat videos, pets, picky cats, cat treats And if there's a loud noise during dinnertime, forget about it. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, even if we follow all these steps to a T, we still might get some finickiness from time to time for reasons unbeknownst to us (though “vibes being off” is a good catchall excuse). Still, it won’t keep us from loving our furry little weirdos any more.

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Pittsburgh airport staff heroically recover diamond that fell from woman's ring at baggage claim

She was sure the conveyor belt had eternally claimed her 33-year-old engagement diamond.

Photo credit: Canva

Pittsburgh airport staff heroically finds woman's lost diamond

An engagement ring isn't the start of a journey with a partner—it's a promise to continue the journey you've already started. That's why engagement rings hold so much sentimental value to the person who receives it. The ring is something they cherish forever in most cases, which is exactly why when April Schmitt realized she lost the diamond out of her engagement ring she flew into a panic.

She knew the stone was lost somewhere near or in the baggage claim area at the Pittsburgh International Airport in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Schmitt has been married to her husband for more than 30 years, so she knows her engagement ring like the back of her hand (literally). The diamond was sitting in its pronged setting when she landed at the airport and made her way to the baggage claim area, but she noticed it was gone shortly after her husband picked her up from the airport.

Once she realized her stone was missing from her ring, she became panicked. She said in a statement, “I panicked and my heart sank. I truly didn’t think I was ever going to see it again.”

lost diamond; diamond; Pittsburgh airport staff; airport lost diamond; found diamond; good news; humanity Travelers wait at the baggage claim carousel.Photo credit: Canva

The couple, who live in Sewickley, just a quick 30 minute or less drive down the road, immediately made their way back to the airport to find the missing diamond. Some diamonds may appear large when they're placed on a band but unless they turn into a strobe light, they're nearly impossible to see in an open, bustling space. Schmitt knew finding the diamond was a long shot but there was no way she was going to let the stone disappear without trying her best to locate it.

When the couple returned to the airport, Schmitt informed the staff about her missing diamond and was met with immense kindness. In this instance, it would've been easy to brush off looking for a clear stone in such a large space but that's not what happened. Instead, the staff member she alerted contacted airport maintenance. Suddenly, they had an entire team of people looking for the diamond.

lost diamond; diamond; Pittsburgh airport staff; airport lost diamond; found diamond; good news; humanity Elegant diamond rings sparkling in warm light.Photo credit: Canva

The maintenance crew came with flashlights and searched over, under, and in between the baggage carousel for the diamond. They searched so long that the Schmitts had actually given up and returned home assuming that the sentimental stone was lost forever. But the crew they left behind was determined. Tom Riordan, a stationary engineer, assured the upset woman that the next shift would continue to look for the diamond between flights until it was located, and they did just that.

It was Sean Dempsey, a fellow stationary engineer, who eventually located the missing stone. He told ABC News, "I just was crawling with a flashlight, and we had paint sticks to scrape all the dirt away,” he said. “The diamond caught a little bit of light and I found it.”

Schmitt was thrilled to get the call that her missing diamond had been found. “There were so many ways this story could have ended, but these guys were committed to helping me. I travel a lot, and I go to a lot of airports. To have this experience here and to be treated like an important person—those staffers were so concerned about my happiness and doing the right thing for me. I was not just a random passenger. They went out of their way to take care of me.”

The staff at Pittsburgh International Airport was happy they could be of assistance. Elise Gomez, manager of customer experience at PIT tells Blue Sky News, We’ve really invested in our passenger experience and do everything we can to ensure seamless travel. We know travel can be stressful, which is why we have a variety of programs from our PIT Paws teams to amenities like Presley’s Place for travelers with sensory sensitivities. And of course, at the end of the day, it’s about people. Our team is dedicated to assisting passengers whether that’s helping them find the right gate or finding a lost diamond.”

lost diamond; diamond; Pittsburgh airport staff; airport lost diamond; found diamond; good news; humanity Vibrant cityscape with a classic red funicular and riverfront views.Photo credit: Canva

This isn't the first time the PIT crew has helped locate a missing diamond. In 2023 Kristen Tunno lost her grandmother's diamond ring while at the airport. April Laukaitis, a customer care agent located the family heirloom lodged between the tiles of one of the bathroom floors.

Airports aren't known for their hospitality so it's always nice to hear when airport staff go above and beyond to be compassionate to travelers.

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