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Family

'Mommy, why do you wear makeup?' The question that caught me off guard as a mom of girls

Beauty conversations can be tricky.

makeup motherhood
Photo by Trevor Buntin on Unsplash

My daughter asking me why I wear makeup led to big conversations about beauty.

"Mommy, why do you wear makeup?"

I don't remember how old my first daughter was when she asked me that question, but I do remember feeling unprepared for it. Such a simple and reasonable question seems like it should have a simple and reasonable answer, but as I looked at her young face, I thought about how my answer could shape her entire view of women and beauty and her own self-image.

The full truth of why I wear makeup is complicated, as I'm sure it is for most women. I started wearing makeup mainly to cover up acne as a teen, but I remember being younger and feeling intrigued by eye makeup on magazine models. I started to mess around around with eye shadow and eye liner because it was fun to "paint" my face.

I like wearing makeup and always have. It truly can be fun, but I'd be fooling myself to believe that societal standards of beauty don't also play a significant role in my choices now. I wear makeup because it makes me feel prettier and more "put together," even when it's just a quick five-minute routine. It makes my skin look better and brighter and it brings out my eyes. I think of it as enhancing my beauty rather than creating it.

There's nothing wrong or unusual about that, but everything gets viewed through a different lens when you're explaining something to a child—especially our own child.

I've never wanted to put society's arbitrary and unattainable beauty standards on my daughters. I wanted them to reject anything that told them they weren't good enough just as they are. I didn't want them to feel like they needed to wear makeup to feel beautiful; I wanted them to choose how to define beauty for themselves. I wanted them to feel comfortable enough in their own skin to go without makeup, but also confident enough in their own choices to do whatever they wanted with their faces.

How could I explain why I wear makeup in a way that conveyed all of that to my young daughter without prematurely planting those pressures in her mind?

If this all sounds overwrought and overthought, it is. Welcome to womanhood, where every choice we make about our bodies is a mishmosh of historical patriarchy and corporate marketing, with some constant self-judgment and overanalysis thrown in for good measure.

My husband and I wanted to do what we could to ease those pressures for our girls, so we tried to talk about beauty in a way that was authentic and healthy as they were growing up. From the beginning, we talked a lot about beauty being about your inner state, not your outer presentation. We wanted our girls to internalize that message deeply before years of ads and billboards and magazines and Victoria's Secret told them otherwise.

That was a solid parenting choice, but I couldn't help but wonder if me putting on makeup felt like a mixed message. Was I being hypocritical, preaching that beauty on the inside is what matters, but trying to make myself more beautiful on the outside? One could take that argument to an extreme, not engaging in any grooming at all because outer beauty is just a facade, but that just seems silly and wrong. Ultimately, I told her the truth in all its complicated glory.

"Because I think it's fun," I said, realizing that would probably just make her want to wear it when she was still way too young.

"And because it makes me feel more 'put together,'" I said, hoping that wouldn't make her view women who don't wear makeup as not put together.

"And because it highlights my natural beauty," I said, knowing that the constant questions about what counts as beauty would soon begin to bombard her.

It wasn't a perfect answer, but it was honest and sometimes honest is the best we can do.

My daughters are 22 and 18 now, and since that initial question we've had many more conversations about makeup, beauty, personal grooming and how society and individuals judge such things. Thankfully, I found it easier to talk about beauty as they grew older, as they started to understand how pressures from people we know and people we don't can impact the choices we make.

Those pressures can go both ways, they found. One of my daughters felt pressure not to wear makeup and had to navigate her way through doing what was right for her. I'm happy to say that they have grown into young women who question beauty standards and challenge people's judgments from all sides, ultimately landing on what makes them feel best in their own skin. That's really all I had hoped for them.

Phew. Being a woman in this world can be complicated, but raising women in this world is entirely next-level.


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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Pop Culture

Woman stops drunk British man from harassing an immigrant on a train in the classiest way

"No one else on the train voiced their opinion. Only she did and she was half their size."

via Metro / YouTube

This woman did what needed to be done.

Back in 2019, a woman on a London train received praise for the great way she handled and argument between two drunk men. And honestly, it's a message that still perfectly resonates today.

The clip, seen below, begins with a nationalistic British man in a suit chastising a man of Polish-Russian decent in the seat next to him for drinking a beer on the train. "You are in Britain, you listen to the rules," he said while wagging his finger. "You abide by the rules or you get out."

The man with the beer asked the suited man to leave the train to address the issue. Then threatened to spit on him.

The man in the suit responded in a smug, condescending manner, saying, "I'll explain to you so you can understand," implying that a man from outside of Britain couldn't grasp simple rules. "You see those rules up there, the ones that say you don't drink alcohol?"

"I'm not the only one!" the man with the beer responded. "You are yourself drunk, you idiot!"

immigrants, metro, racism, uk immigrants, fight on metro, drinking on metro, fight on subway"You are yourself drunk, you idiot!"via Metro / YouTube

Anyone who has ever been to London knows that people routinely break the no-drinking rule on the train. So the man in the suit was clearly looking for trouble when he demanded that the man stop drinking.

After being told to call the police if he cares so much, the British man decided he had the right to order the other man around simply because he was born in another country.

"I was born and bred here, you've come into this country. You abide by these rules," he continued. "'Abide by English laws or get out."

"I am a Polish boy from Russia and will f**k you," the man with the beer said angrily and then told the man in the suit should be "in the toilet."

Then, out of nowhere, a woman sitting across from the fighting drunks played judge, jury, and executioner by putting a perfect end to the fight.

immigrants, metro, racism, uk immigrants, fight on metro, drinking on metro, fight on subway"People like you bring shame to this country."via Metro / YouTube

"I just wanted to say, yes you should not be drinking here," she said to the man with the beer.

Then, she looked at the man in the suit. "But you have no right to talk to somebody like that, and to use their nationality against them. It is wrong… Using his race against him is disgusting. And because of your behavior I don't want to sit here. People like you bring shame to this country."

Then she walked into another train car. And the Polish man took a big swig of beer.

immigrants, metro, racism, uk immigrants, fight on metro, drinking on metro, fight on subway"I’m glad there are people like this lady who aren’t afraid to stand up to bullies."via Metro / YouTube

The passenger who filmed the fiasco told Metro.co.uk: "I’m glad there are people like this lady who aren’t afraid to stand up to bullies. No one else on the train voiced their opinion. Only she did and she was half their size."

And this is exactly why it's important to stand up to bad behavior. Had this woman not stepped in (very calmly, by the way) things could have escalated further, and to regrettable results. We are in a time when it's more important than ever to fight bigotry, racism, and hatred. That kind of resistance begins with a few, but takes effort from us all.

Watch the full video below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared on six years ago. It has since been updated.

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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Democracy

Reality has hit. A small-business-owning mother's receipt that shows the pain of tariffs.

Here's what the new world looks like.

via Sofia Ramsay/TikTok (used with permission)

Small business owner Sofia Ramsay shares her tariff bill.

After the Trump administration raised tariffs on countries across the globe earlier this month, the bills are starting to come due, and we’re getting the first look at how this abrupt realignment to international trade will affect everyday working Americans. Interestingly, a poll in late January 2025 found that only 45% of Americans understand how tariffs work. Many incorrectly believe that the Chinese exporter pays the fee when the US imposes a tariff on China. However, in reality, when the U.S. imposes a tariff on Chinese goods, the American importer pays the tariff. The funds raised by the tariffs then go to the government, like a tax. Polls also show that those who understand how tariffs work are much less likely to support them than those who do not.

How do tariffs affect American business owners?

Sofia Ramsay, a mother who has owned a homemade jewelry business for the past 13 years, explained how the tariffs affect her small business, and it’s a practical explanation of how tariffs work. “I recently started doing a new program which is a subscription box that sends bead kits all about having a good time and celebrating friendships and bringing art into your life," she begins her video. “a lot of the materials that I provide for my subscription service are upcycled and reused just in order to keep up with trends and to keep up with supply and demand. Quite simply, I do need to import a lot of the materials.”

@sofiaramsay

The 🍊🤡 is still up there saying other countries will pay these bills. Tell me how this makes America great?

Ramsay adds that they have a great relationship with the factory she works with in China, but things started to become difficult a few weeks ago. It took over a month to get an expedited shipment of materials. Then she received a tariff bill from UPS. “It was a tariff bill on my import, now I'm happy to pay the price to do my business, but this is something I'm not prepared for as far as price increases,” she said. “I just don't think it's sustainable for my business to take on this level of expense.”

The cost of her tariff bill? $208 on $485 worth of goods.

That's a 43% increase in her cost of doing business, and the money went to the U.S. government. This was before the administration raised tariffs to 245%, which would have cost Ramsay $698.25.


Now that Ramsay's expenses have increased due to the tariff, does she pass it on to the customer? “I’m not willing to raise my prices, but I probably should raise them by 15-20% or so just to offset these fees,” she told Upworthy.

One of the goals of the tariff policy is to encourage Americans to source their products from U.S. companies. Or enable investors to increase manufacturing in the U.S. However, in a recent video, Ramsay explained why she can’t source her products from a U.S.-based company. The only company that does something similar is in New York City, and their products constantly change, so that she couldn’t deliver a consistent product to her customers. Further, the upcycled beads in New York originally come from overseas; they’ve just been handed around through separate transactions.

“I have to just be at the whims and fancies of whatever is available in this warehouse. It would be like if I had a fashion design company, if I was a clothing brand, and then I just switched to being a thrift store or vintage store or reseller, that would kinda pull the rug out from under my customer base,” she said.

Even though Ramsay is in a bind, being charged a hefty price for importing her products and without an option to source them from within the country, she’s optimistic that things may change. “I believe [the tariffs] are temporary and just posturing on the part of this administration. They have no plans to invest in domestic manufacturing,” she told Upworthy.

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District superintendent shares powerful letter against banning DEI from public schools

Read every word of this, no matter what you think you know about DEI.

Photo credit: Canva

Superintendent pens emotional letter to Department of Education

It's not often people witness public school officials publicly clashing with the Department of Education, but that's exactly what has been happing. This face-off isn't over school officials attempting to do something that might harm students. Some school officials feel that the steps recently taken by the Department of Education are harmful overall and one district superintendent penned a powerful letter.

Recently the Department of Education, now being headed by Linda McMahon sent out a mass memo to public schools across the United States giving them just 10 days to rid their schools of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion initiatives (DEI). Some states immediately while others pushed back on the directive. The consequence for schools not complying with the demand is the loss of federal funding, which could devastate some public schools who heavily rely on federal funding to fill in the gaps where state funding falls short.

boy in green sweater writing on white paper Photo by CDC on Unsplash

In the instance of the school boards that refused to comply, most were very brief in their dissent, but for this district superintendent, they laid out exactly how ridding the schools of DEI would harm their students. The letter was shared by Clair Hochstetler on Facebook where it has been shared 154k times. Hochstetler did not pen the powerful letter, she shared it anonymously in an effort to protect the identity of the state superintendent who sent it off to the Department of Education.

The anonymously shared letter lays out all the ways diversity, equity and inclusion are used in schools evoking strong emotions from readers.

person using pencil Photo by Ben Mullins on Unsplash

Read the letter in it's entirety below:

"Still Not Signing: A Superintendent's Response to the Department of Education's Anti-DEI UltimatumThe federal government gave us ten days to sign away our values. Here’s our answer.

April 8, 2025

To Whom It May (Unfortunately) Concern at the U.S. Department of Education:

Thank you for your April 3 memorandum, which I read several times — not because it was legally persuasive, but because I kept checking to see if it was satire. Alas, it appears you are serious.

You’ve asked me, as superintendent of a public school district, to sign a "certification" declaring that we are not violating federal civil rights law — by, apparently, acknowledging that civil rights issues still exist. You cite Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, then proceed to argue that offering targeted support to historically marginalized students is somehow discriminatory.

That’s not just legally incoherent — it’s a philosophical Möbius strip of bad faith.

Let me see if I understand your logic:

If we acknowledge racial disparities, that’s racism.If we help English learners catch up, that’s favoritism.If we give a disabled child a reading aide, we’re denying someone else the chance to struggle equally.

And if we train teachers to understand bias, we’re indoctrinating them — but if we train them to ignore it, we’re “restoring neutrality”? How convenient that your sudden concern for “equal treatment” seems to apply only when it’s used to silence conversations about race, identity, or inequality.

Let’s talk about our English learners. Would you like us to stop offering translation services during parent-teacher conferences? Should we cancel bilingual support staff to avoid the appearance of “special treatment”? Or would you prefer we just teach all content in English and hope for the best, since acknowledging linguistic barriers now counts as discrimination?

And while we’re at it — what’s your official stance on IEPs? Because last I checked, individualized education plans intentionally give students with disabilities extra support. Should we start removing accommodations to avoid offending the able-bodied majority? Maybe cancel occupational therapy altogether so no one feels left out?

If a student with a learning disability receives extended time on a test, should we now give everyone extended time, even if they don’t need it? Just to keep the playing field sufficiently flat and unthinking?

Your letter paints equity as a threat. But equity is not the threat. It’s the antidote to decades of failure. Equity is what ensures all students have a fair shot. Equity is what makes it possible for a child with a speech impediment to present at the science fair. It’s what helps the nonverbal kindergartner use an AAC device. It’s what gets the newcomer from Ukraine the ESL support she needs without being left behind.

And let’s not skip past the most insulting part of your directive — the ten-day deadline. A national directive sent to thousands of districts with the subtlety of a ransom note, demanding signatures within a week and a half or else you’ll cut funding that supports... wait for it... low-income students, disabled students, and English learners.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. A moral victory for bullies and bureaucrats everywhere.

So no, we will not be signing your “certification.”

We are not interested in joining your theater of compliance.

We are not interested in gutting equity programs that serve actual children in exchange for your political approval.

We are not interested in abandoning our legal, ethical, and educational responsibilities to satisfy your fear of facts.

We are interested in teaching the truth.

We are interested in honoring our students’ identities.

We are interested in building a school system where no child is invisible, and no teacher is punished for caring too much.

And yes — we are prepared to fight this. In the courts. In the press. In the community. In Congress, if need be.Because this district will not be remembered as the one that folded under pressure.

We will be remembered as the one that stood its ground — not for politics, but for kids.

Sincerely,

District Superintendent

Still Teaching. Still Caring. Still Not Signing."

Well Done Clapping GIF by MOODMANGiphy

The letter ignited emotion and praise from readers in the comments with one person writing, "As a retired teacher, I applaud you and thank you. We need to do everything we can in our schools to help every child. Getting rid of DEI makes it impossible for many, many children to live life at its fullest."

Another says, "YESS! Now if they ALL have the guts to do this then maybe we’ll get somewhere."

Someone shares their disbelief, "Every single school district nationwide needs to copy and send this exact response! It's brilliant!I am still not convinced that we are not living in the twilight zone or the outer limits," they write in part.

"Hear Hear!!! More schools need to Resist & fight this!!!" someone else chimes in.

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