upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Family

'Mommy, why do you wear makeup?' The question that caught me off guard as a mom of girls

Beauty conversations can be tricky.

makeup motherhood
Photo by Trevor Buntin on Unsplash

My daughter asking me why I wear makeup led to big conversations about beauty.

"Mommy, why do you wear makeup?"

I don't remember how old my first daughter was when she asked me that question, but I do remember feeling unprepared for it. Such a simple and reasonable question seems like it should have a simple and reasonable answer, but as I looked at her young face, I thought about how my answer could shape her entire view of women and beauty and her own self-image.

The full truth of why I wear makeup is complicated, as I'm sure it is for most women. I started wearing makeup mainly to cover up acne as a teen, but I remember being younger and feeling intrigued by eye makeup on magazine models. I started to mess around around with eye shadow and eye liner because it was fun to "paint" my face.

I like wearing makeup and always have. It truly can be fun, but I'd be fooling myself to believe that societal standards of beauty don't also play a significant role in my choices now. I wear makeup because it makes me feel prettier and more "put together," even when it's just a quick five-minute routine. It makes my skin look better and brighter and it brings out my eyes. I think of it as enhancing my beauty rather than creating it.

There's nothing wrong or unusual about that, but everything gets viewed through a different lens when you're explaining something to a child—especially our own child.

I've never wanted to put society's arbitrary and unattainable beauty standards on my daughters. I wanted them to reject anything that told them they weren't good enough just as they are. I didn't want them to feel like they needed to wear makeup to feel beautiful; I wanted them to choose how to define beauty for themselves. I wanted them to feel comfortable enough in their own skin to go without makeup, but also confident enough in their own choices to do whatever they wanted with their faces.

How could I explain why I wear makeup in a way that conveyed all of that to my young daughter without prematurely planting those pressures in her mind?

If this all sounds overwrought and overthought, it is. Welcome to womanhood, where every choice we make about our bodies is a mishmosh of historical patriarchy and corporate marketing, with some constant self-judgment and overanalysis thrown in for good measure.

My husband and I wanted to do what we could to ease those pressures for our girls, so we tried to talk about beauty in a way that was authentic and healthy as they were growing up. From the beginning, we talked a lot about beauty being about your inner state, not your outer presentation. We wanted our girls to internalize that message deeply before years of ads and billboards and magazines and Victoria's Secret told them otherwise.

That was a solid parenting choice, but I couldn't help but wonder if me putting on makeup felt like a mixed message. Was I being hypocritical, preaching that beauty on the inside is what matters, but trying to make myself more beautiful on the outside? One could take that argument to an extreme, not engaging in any grooming at all because outer beauty is just a facade, but that just seems silly and wrong. Ultimately, I told her the truth in all its complicated glory.

"Because I think it's fun," I said, realizing that would probably just make her want to wear it when she was still way too young.

"And because it makes me feel more 'put together,'" I said, hoping that wouldn't make her view women who don't wear makeup as not put together.

"And because it highlights my natural beauty," I said, knowing that the constant questions about what counts as beauty would soon begin to bombard her.

It wasn't a perfect answer, but it was honest and sometimes honest is the best we can do.

My daughters are 22 and 18 now, and since that initial question we've had many more conversations about makeup, beauty, personal grooming and how society and individuals judge such things. Thankfully, I found it easier to talk about beauty as they grew older, as they started to understand how pressures from people we know and people we don't can impact the choices we make.

Those pressures can go both ways, they found. One of my daughters felt pressure not to wear makeup and had to navigate her way through doing what was right for her. I'm happy to say that they have grown into young women who question beauty standards and challenge people's judgments from all sides, ultimately landing on what makes them feel best in their own skin. That's really all I had hoped for them.

Phew. Being a woman in this world can be complicated, but raising women in this world is entirely next-level.


From Your Site Articles
beauty standards
FamilyMotherhood
Badge
All In
Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.
Joy

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might think of getting groovy at a nursing home, a french bulldog having a total breakdown in the drive-thru, or maybe even a snack bar company promoting self care. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This DWTS dance trend 

If you’ve been watching TV or on the internet this week, you might have seen the viral dance move Dylan Efron and Daniella Karagach performed while on Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) last week. The one particular move, where Dylan holds Daniella as she does a mid-air horizontal walk, is going viral with over 8k videos using the sound. Some of my personal favorites include a mom and her baby, two girls or a girl and her cat, proving this dance trend is truly for anyone to try.

All In on Fiber

Speaking of trends, there’s one that really is about going “all in”, it’s called #fibermaxxing. After years of protein being the biggest nutrition trend, it looks like fiber might be taking over. For good reason too, while protein can cause issues with digestion, fiber can lead to better digestion, blood sugar management, weight control and reduced disease risk. Our friends at All In made a video explaining the #fibermaxxing trend. Each All In bar has 6 to 7 grams of fiber , plus they are delicious. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This child's long hair

This creator went all in… on pranking the audience. I don’t want to give away the contents of this video, but let’s just say it’s creative- and it made me quite literally laugh out loud. There are a lot of "momfluencers" out there who make content that uses their children, and as relatable and heartfelt as it is, sometimes a little satire break is worth appreciating.

Two entrepreneurs getting down to business


Lots of people dabble in entrepreneurship. These two went "all in" on helping others learn it. After four years of interviews with CEOs , research, edits, and a Penguin Random House book deal (yes, seriously), their book, Down to Business, has made its way into classrooms and libraries around the world. Now they are teaching other kids that age is not a barrier to entry in entrepreneurship; the earlier you start, the further you can go—and an entrepreneurial mindset will serve you no matter what you do in life.

Bridesmaids who went all in

Last on our list; two bridesmaids who committed to the bit. These ladies went “all in” in their remake of the legendary scene from the movie “Bridesmaids”. If you haven’t seen the original movie, starring Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, this might be your sign.

In the viral TikTok this bride, Caroline, had no idea what was coming when she put on her favorite movie while getting ready for her big day. The fact that she wanted to watch her favorite show before her bridesmaids surprised her, makes this going “all in” surprise all the better.

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

From Your Site Articles
JoySponsoredPop CultureHumor
Heroes

Desperate mom of 9 gives herself an emergency C-section, saving both of their lives

She told her kids to get help before passing out.

c-section; self-inflicted c-section; woman does own c-section; childbirth; delivering baby; emergency c-section
Photo credit: Canva

Desperate mom gives herself an emergency C-section, saving both of their lives

Bringing life into the world isn't always as joyous as the media portrays. Several parents come through childbirth with physical, mental, and emotional trauma. But even among the most traumatic deliveries, the birth story of Inés Ramíez, a mother of nine in Mexico, likely catapults to the top of the list of the world's most traumatic births.

The International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics reveals in a case report originally published in December 2003, that a 40-year-old mother of nine gave herself an emergency cesarean section and lived to tell the tale. This wasn't a self-inflicted operation to test her fortitude and pain tolerance. This was an act of desperation, utilizing different areas of personal experience to guide her actions.

The mother lived in Oaxaca, a remote mountain town in Mexico without access to a local hospital. After delivering eight previous children, she's an expert on how childbirth is supposed to go, but during her eighth pregnancy, something went wrong. Labor didn't progress as it should've, and the baby couldn't descend through the birth canal properly, resulting in a stillbirth.

c-section; self-inflicted c-section; woman does own c-section; childbirth; delivering baby; emergency c-section Newborn's first cry marks a fresh beginning.Photo credit: Canva

Living in an extremely rural area with little access to everyday necessities, Ramíez was accustomed to seeing goats slaughtered for food. This knowledge came in handy when she went into labor with her ninth child at home with no other adult around to assist. When her labor stalled, showing the same signs as her previous pregnancy that ended in a stillbirth, the mom became desperate. According to the report she gave the hospital, she knew she had to get the baby out quickly, so she took three shots of hard liquor and cut into her belly. Ramíez's husband was away deer hunting with no idea what was going on at home.

OBGYN Shannon M. Clark shares the story on her Instagram page explaining how the mother was able to successfully perform her own C-section without dying from blood loss.

"She did a right paramedian incision vertically to gain access to her abdomen, so likely she entered somewhere near the midline between the rectus muscles, and then she cut her uterus in the same direction and delivered the male fetus. She didn't report a lot of bleeding, but having done these a gajillion times, incisions that are up and down, either right to the side of the belly button, or above it, or below it, actually do not bleed very much because you get right in between those rectus muscles, and you avoid a lot of vessels that way," Clark explains.

It took her about an hour to complete the emergency surgery. Before passing out, likely from pain and shock, she directed one of her children to get her cousin, who is a local health assistant. The cousin arrived to find the mother still passed out with a gaping wound. Being that the community is so rural, her cousin didn't have proper sutures, so she used a regular sewing needle and cotton thread to close the mother's abdomen. The cousin then transported Ramíez in her car to the nearest clinic, 2.5 hours away, to stabilize her before continuing the drive to the hospital, which is eight hours away.

After making it to the hospital, the doctors there were able to perform surgery to make sure nothing was amiss. They repaired her uterus and abdomen 16 hours after she performed her own C-section with a butcher's knife. The mother healed well, leaving what appears to be a thin scar about six inches long next to her belly button.

People who watched Clark's video can't fathom having the strength to do the same thing, with one woman writing, "I’m a nurse and I don’t think I could do this to myself. To someone else, maaaaaybe, but I’m not sure. The nurse who came out and used a needle and thread to sew this lady up was also incredible."

c-section; self-inflicted c-section; woman does own c-section; childbirth; delivering baby; emergency c-section Newborn baby.Photo credit: Canva

Another says, "Well, when you're on pregnancy number 9 you're pretty much a professional. Whatever brand of liquor she drank should hire her to advertise. Never underestimate the power of love, adrenaline and survival instinct."

Even doctors are impressed: "I have to say, as an OB I am extremely impressed at how straight and nicely done her abdominal incision was."

From Your Site Articles
woman does own c-section
HeroesJoy
Humor

Neo-Nazis slowly realize this small town brilliantly pranked them for a great charity

Local residents in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, came together to fight Nazis a hilariously perfect way.

Germany, Nazis parade, Nazis charity, Wunsidel, fascism
Image via YouTube

Neo-Nazis marching in a parade

In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist participants. According to Heeb Magazine, "For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."

The reason the Neo-Nazis show up in Wunsiedel every year is because Adolf Hitler's deputy Rudolf Hess was previously buried there. They apparently haven't been deterred by the fact that his grave was exhumed in 2011 and destroyed.

The brilliant prank was organized by a group called Right Against Right, which alerted people to their wholesome scheme through their website, which reads:

They run and run and run! Almost every week, neo-Nazis take to the streets to demonstrate. If you can't stop them, you can at least make them run for something worthwhile, like against themselves. This turns the funeral march into a fundraising march, and the demonstration into a charity event. For every meter run, fixed donations from companies and citizens go to EXIT Germany or projects working against neo-Nazis. Let's harness this charitable potential!

So if you're determined to march, you're stepping into a dilemma. With your support, things will go much better! Donate, share, and be there live when it's time to take a strong stand against the right – in your everyday life, online, or with a donation.The anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis.

Unfortunately, Neo-Nazi organizations still continue to crop up across the world In recent years they have been seen at political rallies. Even today in 2025, American political actors such as Tesla founder Elon Musk, have been accused of giving Nazi salutes at rallies in a not so thinly veiled sign of approval to those who posses anti-semitic and other far right win ideologies.


Neo-nazis, finland, nazis, germany, world war 2, hitler, history, funny, pranks NRM Finnish independence day demonstration, 2018.Image via Wikicommons

As the Guardian reported at the time, people in the town got fully into the spirit, "sponsoring" the 250 Neo-Nazi marchers, hanging hilariously mocking signs, including one posted at the end of the march, which thanked them for their "donations" to the anti-hate groups.

According to The Washington Post, “The 200 neo-Nazis had only two choices when they got to know about the plan: Either they proceeded, indirectly donating money to the EXIT Germany initiative, or they acknowledged their defeat and suspended the march. The neo-Nazis decided to pursue their plans — and participated in raising funds for an organization committed to their downfall.”

The plan worked so well, it was replicated in 2017 by the Jewish Bar Association of San Francisco, which started an "Adopt a Nazi (Not Really)" fundraiser on GoFundMe that ended up raising more than $150,000 in response to a Neo-Nazi march in the city.

Watch the YouTube video below:




- YouTube www.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

funny
HumorJoy
Pop Culture

Fans applaud Quinta Brunson for how she supported Jennifer Aniston during an emotional interview moment

“Quinta handled this masterfully."

Actreses Quinta Brunson and Jennifer Aniston in an interview.
@variety/TikTok

The way Brunson comforted Aniston speaks volumes.

For those not familiar with Variety's “Actors on Actors,” it’s a live interview series where two actors discuss various aspects of their craft and career. Often, actors will be paired together because of a common thread. Margot Robbie and Cillian Murphy during the height of "Barbenheimer," for example. Or Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt, who both starred in the 2006 classic The Devil Wears Prada.

So, it’s no surprise that two comedy queens, Jennifer Aniston and Quinta Brunson, would be paired together for the latest “Actors on Actors” segment. What people are astounded by, however, is the way Brunson handled a very serious moment.

At one point during the conversation, a producer off camera suggested that Brunson ask Aniston “what it’s like to watch Friends now.”

This clearly struck a chord with Aniston, who, already tearing up, said, “Don’t make me cry.”

Noticing this, Brunson softly said, “You’re already crying. Do you want a minute?” before assuring her, “We don’t have to talk about [this].”

@varietymagazine Jennifer Aniston gets emotional when asked about "Friends." #ActorsOnActors ♬ original sound - Variety

Tilting her head up to not let the tears fall, Aniston replied, “No, no, sorry, I just started thinking about...” before Brunson quickly said, “I know. Yeah.”

It’s evident that Aniston’s emotional reaction was triggered by the loss of her former Friends cast mate Matthew Perry, who died suddenly on October 28, 2023. The pair’s friendship remained strong even after the show ended in 2004; Perry even revealed that Aniston was the member of their group who reached out to him “the most” during his sobriety journey.

All this to say, Aniston was understandably triggered by the question. Brunson saw that, and acted accordingly. She once again offered, “We don’t have to talk about it,” waited while Aniston grabbed a tissue to compose herself, then masterfully guided the conversation to a joke.

“So, Jen, Friends is turning 30…and you are turning 30…When you were a baby on that show, you were so advanced…your fine motor skills were insane”

Viewers applauded the Abbott Elementary star for “taking care” of Aniston’s emotional wellbeing.

”Quinta gets props for saying to Jennifer, ‘We don’t have to go there if you don’t want to.’ I get why the producers were trying to create that buzzworthy moment, but I also appreciate Quinta’s willingness to derail it for Jennifer’s sake,” one person wrote on Youtube

“Quinta’s little ‘I know’ — it was so simple but so kind and empathetic,” added another.

Over on TikTok, comments were just as complimentary.

“Quinta handled this masterfully,” wrote one person.

Another echoed, “How Quinta handled that- that’s why she’s where she’s at.”


Seeing people take care of one another never gets old. You can watch the full conversation between Brunson and Aniston below:

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
best of humanity
Pop CultureCelebrity
Women's Health

Forensics student reveals the two types of women predators target based on how they walk

It's chilling that they all have the same "type."

predators, forensics, crime, women, awareness
via Екатерина Шумских/Pexels, Vladimir Konoplev/Pexels and Teona Swift/Pexels

Three women walking down city streets.

A forensics student named Alexandria recently shared vital information on TikTok that all women should know. She detailed the specific signs male predators are looking for when they choose a victim.

Her video is based on a 2013 study entitled “Psychopathy and Victim Selection: The Use of Gait as a Cue to Vulnerability.” For the study, researchers interviewed violent criminals in prison and asked them the type of women they’d be most likely to victimize.

The study found that the criminals all agreed that how the woman walked was a deciding factor.

“What the selected women all had in common was the way that they walked and how they generally held themselves in public,” Alexandria says in the video she later deleted but has been shared broadly across the platform.

@_alf_90_

How to walk for your safety! #women #safety #tips #walking #kidnapping #murder #attacks #fyp

“The selected women all had a similar ‘awkwardness’ to the way that they walked and carried themselves,” she continued. “The first part of the woman had a gait that was a little bit too small for their body, which resulted in smaller steps, slower speed and their arms more typically to their sides, or crossed, as well as their heads being down and not really taking in their general surroundings, which indicated three different things to these potential attackers.”

The woman’s body language signaled to attackers that she was fearful and anxious and because her head was down, she'd be easier to surprise. Alex then described the second type of woman the criminals said they’d target.

“On the other hand, the other part of the women that were selected had a gait that seemed a bit too big for their body and their arms tended to flail to the sides and seemed just overly awkward,” Alexandria continued.

The woman with the bigger gait signaled to potential attackers that she may be clumsy and won’t put up a good fight. “Because their arms were out and flailing to the side, it left the lower body open to, again, come around and grab them,” she said.

women, walking, predators, crime, body language Women walking down a street.Image via Canva Photos.

The video was helpful because Alexandria also discussed the types of women the attackers wouldn’t pursue. Alex says these women “walked with a gait that tended to be more natural to their body.” She adds they moved at the same pace as those in the immediate area, with their shoulders back and chins up and asserting a general sense of confidence.

“Essentially, the women that were not selected gave off an energy that said, ‘Don’t mess with me. I will put up a good fight.’ And that’s why they weren’t selected,” Alex said. “I know that it sounds silly, but something as simple as the way you walk or the way that you carry yourself in public could determine the likelihood that you become a target of a predator.”

According to the Center for Violence Prevention and Self Defense Training, detecting vulnerability is the biggest factor in who predators choose to victimize. Confusion, isolation, appearing insecure, unaware, unassertive, or distracted all play a part in who predators target, but being aware of these factors can increase safety considerably. They also note that access plays a part in being targeted, stating that, "Attackers tend to target people positioned near entrances, exits, or secluded areas where they can quickly grab and escape without arousing suspicion."

woman, crime, predator, safety, awareness Woman aware of her surroundings in a parking garage. Image via Canva Photos.

Alexandria concluded her video by sharing an acronym that can help prevent women from being victimized while in public: STAAR.

S(tride): Walk with a natural stride to your body with steps that are not too far apart or short.

T(all): Stand tall. Keep your shoulders back and your chin up. Assert a natural confidence and dominance to those around you.

A(rms): Swing your arms naturally by your sides, avoiding keeping them too close to your body or flailing out of your natural range of motion.

A(wareness): Stay aware of your surroundings. Take notice if something feels or looks off.

R(elax): Stay cool, calm, and collected and don’t indicate to a potential attacker that you feel or see something is wrong.


This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
women's safety
Women's HealthHealth
Pop Culture

Hugh Grant finally tells Renée Zellweger what he always thought of her, post Bridget Jones

Zellweger said the feeling is mutual.

Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger, celebrity news, bridget jones diary, movies, rom coms, bridget jones 2
Images of Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger via Wikicommons

Hugh Grant (left) Renee Zellweger (right)

Hugh Grant does not hold back when it comes to his opinions on anything. But in one unfortunate interview he did for Elle Magazine back in 2009, he dished on most of his female co-stars, and it wasn't pretty. He described Emma Thompson as "clever, funny, mad as a chair." Of Sandra Bullock, he said, "a genius, a German, too many dogs." He later commented that Julia Roberts' mouth was so big, he "was aware of a faint echo" when they kissed onscreen. And while Julianne Moore, Rachel Weisz, and Drew Barrymore were all described as clever, stunning, or beautiful, the consensus was that they all "loathed him."

But it was his Bridget Jones's Diary co-star Renée Zellweger with whom he seemed to have the softest spot. Even when revisiting the matter on The Graham Norton Show in 2016, Hugh agreed with his original assessment that she's "delightful. Also far from sane. Very good kisser."

When pressed, Hugh jokingly said, "She is genuinely lovely, but her emails are 48 pages long. Can't understand a word of them."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Now, nine years later, Renée is returning to her Bridget Jones character, and the two reunite for a piece called "Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy" for British Vogue. Apparently in their OG Bridget Jones days, had tons of questions between on-set shots for Renée. Examples include: "If you had to marry one of today's extras, who would it be?" and "Who is a better kisser, me or Colin Firth?"

This time, there was a new slew of questions for each actor. Here are a few key things we find out:

What did Hugh always think of Renée?

He says candidly (of course), "With a lot of other actors, you think they're really great, and then suddenly you see a little glint of steely, scary ambition, and you realize this person would trample their grandmother to get what they want in this business. But I've never seen that glint coming off you. So either it's very well disguised, or you are quite nice."

What does Renée really think of Hugh?

Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger, celebrity news, bridget jones diary, movies, rom coms, bridget jones 2 "You're hilariously brilliant at everything you hate." media1.giphy.com

"You're hilariously brilliant at everything you hate. And, though you hate humans, you're a very good and loyal friend. I like you very much. And I love working with you."

What did Hugh really think of her English accent?

After discussing Renée's dialect coach, Hugh tells her that her attempt at an English accent is…"perfect."

Why does the Bridget Jones franchise remain so appealing?

Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger, celebrity news, bridget jones diary, movies, rom coms, bridget jones 2 "Bridget is authentically herself…and triumphs in her own way." media1.giphy.com

Hugh says, "In a nutshell, I say it's an antidote to Instagram. Instagram is telling people, especially women, 'Your life's not good enough.' It's not as good as this woman's or that woman's, making you insecure. Whereas what Helen (the writer) did with Bridget is celebrate failures, while making it funny and joyful."

Renée makes some jokes and then says, "I think maybe folks recognize themselves in her and relate to her feelings of self-doubt. Bridget is authentically herself and doesn't always get it right, but whatever her imperfections, she remains joyful and optimistic, carries on, and triumphs in her own way."

What does Hugh think of Renée's fashion?

After asking if people in general should be a "bit more stylish," Hugh tells Renée she's "very chic." Renée pushes back with, "I'm wearing a tracksuit." To which Hugh retorts, "Yeah, but a sort of PRICEY one."

And finally, those emails:

Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger, celebrity news, bridget jones diary, movies, rom coms, bridget jones 2 "They're written in some curious language that I can't really understand." media2.giphy.com

"You have sent me the longest emails I've ever received. I can't understand a single word of them. They're written in some curious language that I can't really understand."

"No!" Renée exclaims. "If you reference something in your emails that makes me laugh…I will circle back to that. And if you've forgotten that you wrote it, I don't think I should be held accountable for that!"

This article originally appeared in February

From Your Site Articles
movies
Pop CultureCelebrity
Trending Stories